The formal language

[vvalkyri]

For a number of years, some time between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, I have put the following in my journal: "For transgressions against God the day of atonement atones, but for transgressions of one human being against another, the day of atonement does not atone until they have made peace with one another." Yoma 8:9.If I have offended, hurt,

Comments

[anonymous]

[vvalkyri]

I've always found that bit to be somewhat disingenious. I mean if you've hurt someone you probably know it. But if they don't "ask" for forgiveness then it didn't really matter I suppose.

Although I seldom have learned anything new from this particular ritual set of words, I've often been quite surprised by what pisses other people off. No, I most certainly do not always know if I've hurt someone. If I know, I'll try to make amends. This is for those times I don't know.

Honest question: Do you search your heart every year, identify the people you think you have hurt, and ask them directly "hey, did I hurt you with this?"

I'll admit that my memory sucks, and that no, I haven't spent time trying to go over "who might I have hurt in the last year" -- honestly, if I think I may have accidentally hurt someone I would be trying to address that when I realize it.

Just wondering. Forgiveness is an interesting thing with me, as is the assumption that some people are "not worth even asking for forgiveness". Then there's the whole "

[vvalkyri]

I'm currently trying to remember what I thought I might discuss with you in email. Did we ever have that conversation?