Obstacles
Title: Obstacles
Author: vulgar_vogue
Length: one shot
Fandom: Dir en grey
Pairing: Die/Shinya, Kaoru/Shinya (one sided)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I do not own Dir en grey and I am not making money from this.
Summary: Prompt: He wanted Shinya. Too bad Shinya was already taken by their other guitarist. But... perhaps that was one obstacle he was able to overcome?
Notes: Written for dxs_love
When I first realized that the both of you were dating, I was in denial. I did not want to believe it. I forced myself to lie to myself, to pretend that the closeness between you two was only my imagination. You never admitted it either. You denied it whenever Toshiya teased you, but then one night you stood next to him and I got a lump in my throat because I knew what was coming. He took hold of your hand and my fist tightened. I did not want to hear it but as much as I tried to deny it, you and he were a couple and the whole band knew it.
When he called you his boyfriend it hurt me deeply. It was such an inescapable pain that I could no longer deny it; he was your boyfriend and you loved him. After that confession, I was jealous. I was jealous of him. Jealous that he was the one who got to hold you, kiss you, and make you smile when it should have been me. I should have been the one hugging you when you were upset, keeping you warm at night, and making you happy. It should have been me.
Three months after the band knew that you and he were dating we thought it was going to end. You got into a huge fight with him. I thought it was over between you two. But he won your heart again somehow. I saw what he did to fix things with you. I went to bars with him and listened to his problems, pretending to care when all I could think about was how he did not deserve you and how I would be a much better boyfriend than he ever was. I saw him cry. I saw him continue to speak to you, to beg you to forgive him until slowly you gave in and accepted his apology.
When he came to me the next day telling me that you forgave him, I felt guilty. He was smiling and laughing. I realized that you were his whole world and that he could not live without you. He needed you in his life and I think you needed him too.
I still feel guilty. Part of me still wants you to leave him forever and to be with me. But I always push those thoughts aside because I know that I can never make you as happy as he does. So instead I cherish the few moments I have with you, and I enjoy the time I get to spend with you even though you will never be mine.
“Kaoru, do you think Shinya will like this?”
I looked over at him studying the object in his hand carefully. I knew that he had spent a lot of time picking out that gift just from the look on his face. He looked so serious. “He’ll love it, Die.”
Author: vulgar_vogue
Length: one shot
Fandom: Dir en grey
Pairing: Die/Shinya, Kaoru/Shinya (one sided)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I do not own Dir en grey and I am not making money from this.
Summary: Prompt: He wanted Shinya. Too bad Shinya was already taken by their other guitarist. But... perhaps that was one obstacle he was able to overcome?
Notes: Written for dxs_love
When I first realized that the both of you were dating, I was in denial. I did not want to believe it. I forced myself to lie to myself, to pretend that the closeness between you two was only my imagination. You never admitted it either. You denied it whenever Toshiya teased you, but then one night you stood next to him and I got a lump in my throat because I knew what was coming. He took hold of your hand and my fist tightened. I did not want to hear it but as much as I tried to deny it, you and he were a couple and the whole band knew it.
When he called you his boyfriend it hurt me deeply. It was such an inescapable pain that I could no longer deny it; he was your boyfriend and you loved him. After that confession, I was jealous. I was jealous of him. Jealous that he was the one who got to hold you, kiss you, and make you smile when it should have been me. I should have been the one hugging you when you were upset, keeping you warm at night, and making you happy. It should have been me.
Three months after the band knew that you and he were dating we thought it was going to end. You got into a huge fight with him. I thought it was over between you two. But he won your heart again somehow. I saw what he did to fix things with you. I went to bars with him and listened to his problems, pretending to care when all I could think about was how he did not deserve you and how I would be a much better boyfriend than he ever was. I saw him cry. I saw him continue to speak to you, to beg you to forgive him until slowly you gave in and accepted his apology.
When he came to me the next day telling me that you forgave him, I felt guilty. He was smiling and laughing. I realized that you were his whole world and that he could not live without you. He needed you in his life and I think you needed him too.
I still feel guilty. Part of me still wants you to leave him forever and to be with me. But I always push those thoughts aside because I know that I can never make you as happy as he does. So instead I cherish the few moments I have with you, and I enjoy the time I get to spend with you even though you will never be mine.
“Kaoru, do you think Shinya will like this?”
I looked over at him studying the object in his hand carefully. I knew that he had spent a lot of time picking out that gift just from the look on his face. He looked so serious. “He’ll love it, Die.”