The Easter Fiasco CH3
The Easter Fiasco CH3
Up above the Great Hall, four floating forms watched in dismay.
“He killed me! I can't believe he killed me!”
“He killed all of us, if you haven't noticed, twit,” James snapped, his mood foul at the realization that his well planned prank had ended with disastrous results.
“This is the last time I join in any of your games,”Lily said bitterly, staring down at her lovely body that was now sporting a broken neck. “Just look at my good robes.”
Peter noticed his own good slacks that were now covered in blood. “Yeah, we probably shouldn't have dressed so nicely.”
“Will the lot of you just shut up!” Sirius shouted, his patience gone. “Look at him! He intentionally killed me! He wouldn't have killed you if you had just minded your own business, but he certainly had all intentions To Kill Me! What the hell did I do!”
James, quite used to Sirius's melodramatic outbursts, instead did look at Remus, noticing for the first time that the boy was licking up Sirius's neck and tearing away his clothes. “Lily dear, maybe you should avert your eyes. I have the feeling that this is going to get very awkward, very quickly.”
Lily gave a small shriek when she saw what James was talking about, and then burst out laughing. “Sirius, I can't believe you got that pierced! That had to hurt like crazy.”
“What do you mean... how can you see-Ah, Remus, you... you... damn, I wish I could feel that,” Sirius concluded heatedly as Remus nipped at the piercing curving through Sirius's nipple. It took all three of them to hold Sirius back from trying to float down to his fallen body. Below, Remus looked up and growled at them, clinging onto Sirius protectively.
James chuckled and winked. “Well, well, Mr. Lupin. I'd like to say that I'm surprised, but really I'm not. You were just too much of a goody-goody to not be repressing some form of nastiness. But our dear Sirius, I guess that is a bit of a shock.”
Remus watched them warily, his mouth latching onto the skin of Sirius's chest and nibbling.
“Remmy-damn it! Why did you have to go and kill me!” Sirius wailed with watery eyes, torn between the affection Remus was giving and the violence he had inflicted.
Remus's eyes focused up on Sirius, confusion clear in their foggy depths. He looked at the Sirius floating above, and then the one in his arms.
The Sirius in Remus's arms was unnaturally still, and smelled like chocolate and rabbit blood. Remus ran his tongue over the damp skin again, tasting chocolate and sweat. He nuzzled his head into the side of Sirius's neck, his eyes lazily following back to the other Sirius above. Remus grinned darkly and bit into the neck again, watching as the Sirius above touched his neck in echo.
“Come play with me, Sirius.” Remus called softly.
“Goodness, Remus, what has gotten into you?” Lily asked, her expression stern. “You're being practically vulgar. Leave poor Sirius alone and go back to your hospital room before the professors have to hunt you down.”
Remus gave a harsh laugh and lewdly ran his tongue over Sirius's bare chest, his teeth pulling at the small piercing. “Oh-So-Serious Sirius, come down and play.”
“Shit Remmy... get a hold of yourself...” Sirius whispered, aroused and concerned for his friend's sanity all at the same time.
“No. Come down here and do it for me.” Laughing at Lily's outraged expression, Remus rolled onto his back and spread out invitingly, calling to Sirius again.
“Sorry, old boy, but there is no way in hell we're letting Sirius near you again. Not when you just off and killed him.” James broke in firmly before Sirius could do something stupid.
“But I want him,” Remus said lazily, his eyes trained on Sirius's flushed face.
“Then I suggest next time you don't kill him!” Lily spat angrily.
Remus licked his lips, eyes flickering to the fuming girl. “They gave me no other option.”
“What do you mean, Remus? Tell us what we can do to fix this.” Peter called from behind James.
Remus paid him no head, instead seeking out Sirius's very pretty face. “Come here, Siri.”
Sirius shook his head, his eyes full of sorrow. “I can't, Remmy. You crossed the line.” With a final broken look, Sirius disappeared into the air, followed by James, Peter and Lily.
Remus frowned in bewilderment, no longer anything above to look at. Blearily he focused on the dead rabbits surrounding him, most still squirming in pain. Sirius was bleeding in Remus's arms, all life gone from his body. Behind him, Remus could just make out James's glasses, crushed and dripping in blood.
Footsteps were approaching, and Remus rolled hastily, eyes glued to the door. Dumbledore walked in chewing on a fluffy bunny, blood dripping from where it was missing a foot.
“Mr. Lupin, there you are. Do you know how rude it is to leave half eaten food lying around? It's a good way to attract rats.” Dumbledore raised his wand, and before Remus could run, the scene began to melt before his eyes into the darkness of sleep.
*****
It was the same hospital room, but this time Remus awoke in chains, his wrists and ankles bound to the bed with thick leather straps and metal links. Two larger straps held his chest and abdomen securely to the bed. Remus didn't struggle. Surely this was where he belonged.
Outside Remus's line of vision he could hear voices whispering. He thought of the odd visions going through his mind and wondered if they had been real or not. It had felt real. He could remember the feel of flesh and fur tearing beneath his hands and the heat of blood on his tongue. Remus also remembered the odd flavor that had been present through it all. Chocolate.
There had been two Sirius's at one point. Two infuriating, beautiful sad boys. Could it be so simple, Remus asked to no one in particular. His murderous wold had united after the death of Sirius, having no other vengeance to keep the wolf fighting a losing battle. With it joined, Remus felt practically himself again, his mind aligned, his emotions more sure. Remus didn't have to fear the personalities overtaking him anymore, like they had done so many times the last couple of weeks.
If only there were really two versions of Sirius... But that was madness, and he knew much about madness the last month or so. Remus had lost all his senses on more than one occasion, and if he had not been dreaming then he had done irreparable damage when the opportunity had been given.
If he were lucky, the Ministry would destroy him now and forgo any sort of trial. That way Remus's parents wouldn't have to wonder and suffer long. His friends gone, Remus knew he had nothing left to live for but crushing, horrible guilt and loneliness.
The voices were growing louder, and Remus's suspicions were confirmed when Dr. Jon stepped into view, a somber expression on his face.
“You're awake, then?”
Remus licked his dry lips. “I don't know. Was I... was I awake before?” he asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. But needing to know more than anything.
“Yes. You had been heavily sedated with more mood enhancers going through your body than could be considered safe, or legal, but you were certainly awake.”
Remus let that sink in. Something tightened in his chest painfully, pulling him down and down until his eyes were squeezed shut and he was sobbing out his grief. “I-I killed them! Oh gods... how could I-All those poor little bunnies!”
Jon gave him a hard look. “Not to mention your closest friends,” he reminded tightly.
“Oh fuck them! They brought it on themselves by letting me out of my room and putting poor defenseless bunnies in my path. What the hell did they think I was going to do, pet them and be on my way? And then they were all hiding in with them, like I wouldn't associate 'human' with 'rabbit' in the middle of a killing rage? Those assholes!”
“Hey, you're the bloody asshole, Remus Lupin!” James shouted, coming into view. “We spent days on that prank just to make sure you would get to hunt chocolate animated rabbits! We could have done my demon haunted chick eggs painted all innocent and all, but no! We did that prank just for you, and this is the thanks we get! You didn't even say sorry for killing us!”
Remus cried harder in the face of James's very real anger, wishing his hands were free so he could cover his eyes. “Y-You're dead!”
“Am not!”
“Bloody well are! I killed you! I killed you and Lily and Peter and Sirius... poor Sirius...”
“What do you mean, 'poor Sirius?' What about poor James! You killed me!”
With a sob, Remus looked away, pulling uselessly at his bonds. He turned to Jon desperately. “This isn't real. I'm seeing things-Just make it stop!”
“Oh, you're not getting away from this that easily!” James stepped in front of Jon, waving his hand to someone on the other side. “Lily, give him one for!”
“Honestly James, leave the boy alone. Clearly he's confused.” Lily stepped up, putting a calming hand to James's shoulder. “Hello, Remus. Are you feeling any better now?”
Remus shook his head wildly, choking out a teary, “No.”
“Oh, cheer up, love. Things will look better.” Ignoring the restraining hand from James, Lily stepped forward and petted Remus's tangled locks.
It felt very real, and Remus sobbed again, tears streaming unchecked down his face. “There, there. Cry it out.” Lily wrapped her arms around Remus's shoulders in a hug, letting Remus have some shelter from the others in the room while he sobbed.
It smelled like Lily, and felt like her, and Remus could hear her heartbeat steadily through her skin. Remus was very confused, and only cried more. “I'm so sorry, Lils! So sorry...” he muffled into her shirtfront.
“Hush now. None of that. We all know you didn't mean it.”
“Speak for yourself,” James growled. “Hey doc, can I press charges or something?” He asked Jon, and to Remus's great surprise, Jon answered back as if he could actually hear him.
“If you do, the only sentence is death. They don't have much leeway for people in Remus's condition.”
“Ah, that's a bit harsh,” James said after a moment. “He might deserve it, though,” he added with a vindictive glare.
“So help me, if you get him killed Jamie I will make the rest of your extremely short life miserable,” a voice that sounded hauntingly like Sirius warned from the shadows. But of course Remus knew that couldn't be right. Sirius was unquestionably dead. Remus's bad wolf had made certain of that before leaving.
“Who...?” Remus called bewilderedly, and stretched his head back to see who was behind him. Sirius walked by, giving him a brief, “Hey, Remmy,” before laying into James. “We already decided as a group that we were going to forgive him. Stop being a prat! He was so messed up on pills he probably didn't even know his own name!”
“No...” Remus broke in tentatively, cutting off James's angry rebuke and catching everyone's attention. Crazy or not, he would not let his friends' ghosts think that Remus had defaulted blame, only to haunt him later once they discovered the truth. “I knew what I was doing.”
Remus bit his lip until it bled, eventually meeting Jon's gaze. “I broke my promise and went on a killing spree. It was completely my own fault.”
Jon nodded, patting Remus's head. “Good boy. Now shut up before your friends hate you forever.”
Jon turned to the three, Peter too afraid to actually face Remus again so soon after Easter. “Perhaps I should explain, since Remus is far too wrapped up in the psychosis of his head to do it himself.
“You,” Jon pointed to Sirius, “created a situation where Remus almost killed one of your peers, jeopardizing Moony's life, and Remus's as a result. You,” and here he pointed to James, “saved Moony from that situation, but did not allow him to enact the proper revenge needed to dissolve the situation. As each day passed where Moony was unable to punish Sirius, and you challenged the wolf's role as leader over his dog, his rage grew until it found an escape. Remus's exritus. You,” Jon pointed to Lily, “Are irrelevant to this situation. Just an unfortunate bystander mauled by a werewolf with a grudge.
“As for Sirius, it was only a matter of time before Moony had his revenge. Luckily your very intelligent teachers got wind of the prank you were planning and used it to their advantage. Otherwise there was no way on Earth you would have been able to free Remus long enough for him to rampage the way he did.” Jon gave them all a sharp look.
“Remus killed your chocolate counterparts-quite a nice piece of spell work, I might add. And no one alive was actually hurt, meaning Remus did not actually kill anyone. His rage is now gone, with little consequences.”
Jon paused, thinking briefly. “I do believe that covers it all. Well, most of it, anyways. There is still another problem of Remus's, but that is hardly anyone's concern but Remus and Sirius. Possibly James, if he has not officially divorced Remus yet.”
Lily smacked James on the shoulder. “I thought you had settled that already.”
“Quiet down, you. You like his dinners just as much as I do.” James gave Remus an accessing look, finally coming up and holding his hand out. Of course, Remus could not shake the hand because his were still firmly strapped to the bed, and James was a ghost, which Remus quietly pointed out.
“Seriously, Remus, drop the dumb act,” James said, his eyes narrowed. “We're alive. You didn't kill us. You're not in trouble. And... I'm sorry we freaked you out like that, but really, you freaked us out just as much.”
Remus nodded slowly in acceptance. “...Are you really all alive?”
“Yes!” they shouted, including Jon who went so far as to push James's hand into Remus's so the boy could feel first hand that they were all very much alive.
“I think I've lost my mind...” Remus blinked his eyes a couple times, staring from face to face. He landed on Sirius's and paused for a long moment. With the other presences gone, Remus wondered how he truly felt about the boy. He also couldn't help but wonder how Sirius felt about him, now after all his madness.
Remus turned to Jon, a question on his lips. “Am I... is anything still going through my system? I... I'm very confused.”
“We're currently flushing the mood elevators out of your body. Mostly because they seem to be blocking your inhibitions instead of actually being of use. We really don't need you without your inhibitions, Remus. It's all that keeps you in check.”
Remus nodded, knowing all too well the iron control he had kept all those years. Surely it was dangerous to enjoy the current moment where he did not have to hold back or control himself... Yet, it was hard not to revel a bit. “Can I sleep a bit... alone? Just... I need to think. So much has changed and... and I'm not quite sure who I used to be.”
“Yes, Remus. I think we should let your visitors go for now. You will have to be kept bound for now until we can be sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others.” Jon gave him an unreadable look, and Remus realized the doctor was not so certain if Remus was safe or not.
Closing his eyes, Remus found he was just as uncertain. “When the mood elevators are gone I'd like to talk,” Remus said to the man, hoping he had not ruined things with the good doctor.
“I'll be here watching over your progress.” Jon turned to the three students. “Say your goodbyes now. It will take a good day before we know anything.”
“Crap.” James rushed to Remus's side, giving the boy a hug. “You are an ass for what you did, Remus, but I forgive you anyways. Get rid of the crazy so you can go back to yelling at us while helping when no one is looking.”
Remus smiled weakly, squeezing the boy's hand before James pulled away. Lily bent over and kissed Remus on the cheek. “You owe me for my good robes, so I suggest you start thinking of what you're going to make me for the end of year luncheon.” She hastily wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. “We'll see you real soon, Remus.”
Words were failing him, so Remus nodded up at his friends, love and dread a strange mix in his stomach. Sirius, who had barely spoken a word to him, was hovering by the foot of the bed waiting for the two to leave. His expression was somber. Remus reached his bound hand out, and hesitantly Sirius approached.
“Can you... can you tell me why?” Sirius asked miserably, his fingers just out of reach.
“Why... I killed you?” Remus bit his lip hard. “Or why I broke your leg?”
Sirius finally looked up and met Remus's gaze, clouds of anger and sorrow swirling. “Am I such a horrible friend?” Remus shook his head slowly, and Sirius pressed closer. “What then? You can't... you can't pretend that was about Moony. Not all of it.”
Remus sucked in a breath, once again Sirius's odd insight catching him by surprise. “No... I can't pretend that. But, but it's a hopeless issue, Siri.”
“Why? What the hell can I do, Remmy? Tell me-anything! I will listen, just tell me!”
“I... I don't know,” Remus admitted with a choked sob. “I just don't know. This... this has been a long time coming. I don't know.”
“I don't want to lose you as a friend. I refuse, Remus.” Sirius wondered if the fresh tears were Remus, or all the the drugs the boy was on. The tears did little to console either of them, and Sirius felt a chill crawl up his spine as he watched the boy slip further and further behind whatever delusions and walls he had created to separate the two of them.
Sirius grabbed Remus's hand quickly, crushing the fingers in his shaking grip. “Do you hate me?”
“No, of course I don't. I just...” Sirius ignored the mumbled answer, turning to the more important question. “Do you love me?” Sirius was sure to stress the word, sure to make sure there was no confusion as to what sort of love they were talking about. Remus stared in shook and growing fear, his hand going limp in Sirius's tight hold.
“D-Don't ask me that,” Remus finally answered, his eyes pleading a message Sirius could not read. Sirius did recognize something though, reminded fiercely of the small moment after Remus had broken his leg.
“You didn't say no. I am listening now.” Sirius relaxed his grip, watching Remus's eyes intently. “Get better, okay? I'll be waiting for you.”
*****
Getting better was not as easy for Remus as everyone seemed to think. Remus was clean of the mood elevators by the end of that evening, but his head still swam in confusion of a world full of half-truths and scarlet air.
Madame Pomfrey informed him with an oddly low voice and wild purple hair that he had a fever. An infection was raging on inside, brought on by the stunning spells that had felled him in the Great Hall. In response, Remus slept. A lot.
Occasionally his broken, frantic dreams lifted and he found familiar faces peering worriedly down at him from beneath James's invisibility cloak. But the moments were short, and Remus was quick to fade off, taking their troubled gazes and whispered worries with him into the chaos raging behind his eyelids.
It would be a shame to die now, after he had finally found his mind, Remus felt. But he really didn't have much say in the matter. Madame Pomfrey hovered increasingly, as did Jon's presence linger more than the norm. Silence finally fell, cooling the heated senselessness of Remus's dreams and encasing him in numbing darkness. He did not wake again.
*****
Raucous laughter jolted Remus to consciousness. His eyes snapped open to blinding white, and he could feel his body pulled back by the now familiar restraints.
“You should have seen it! The kids had just walked in the door for dinner. Of course, Pete and I had gathered up the worst of the worst.” “Yeah, there was one, it didn't even have a back to it any more. It was just a fluffy face being pulled around in small circles by the front paws.” “They totally freaked out! We had left my arm there-you know, the one where Remus had bent all the fingers back. You could hear them screaming all the way out to the Great Lake!”
Remus closed his eyes, glad he was out of commission and did not have to reprimand his horrible, horrible friends. His rest was brief, Peter's next words jolting Remus greater than the loud laugh of earlier.
“So you really love him, Sirius? Even after he basically killed you?”
“Hmm?” There was a long pause, one that seemed to stretch on into eternity for Remus, and then Sirius answered. “Don't talk about that in front of him. Asleep or not, I don't need him deciding he'd rather kick my ass then be my friend. James was right. Remmy just isn't in the right place for me to be pressuring him with life bonds and shit.”
“Oh... Well, do you suppose he likes you back, then? He never struck me as the... well... Has Remus ever really showed interest in anyone?”
“You should have let it drop, Pete,” James voice warned before Sirius broke in, vehemently listing off every person Remus had ever given a second glance at.
Remus was surprised that Sirius had been paying so much attention since some of the names went back to crushes he'd had in first year. Remus had never pursued them, and his interest had dwindled as quickly as most teenage infatuations. Fourth year Remus's attention had been thoroughly caught by one person, and any other passing feeling had been stifled in the presence of Sirius Black.
Peter, rightfully cowed and wishing he had not brought the subject up at all-Remus could hear a certain squeak that meant Sirius had grabbed the boy by the arm to keep him from escaping the conversation-let out a drawn out, “Okaaaay. James, did you get that Charms homework done for tomorrow? I really need a quick review.”
“Crap! I haven't done any homework this week!” Sirius moaned, the whooshing sound of padding and vinyl announcing his theatrical fall into a chair.
Brisk high heels clicked on the stone floor. “If you boys cannot keep quiet, you will have to leave.”
“Sorry, Madame Pomfrey,” the four chorused reflexively, followed by a tense silence as Remus felt all eyes turn to him.
“Mr. Lupin, it would appear you are awake,” Madame Pomfrey said. When she came into view Remus could see a fair amount of wariness in her posture.
“I suppose I am... I'm not dead, am I?” Remus asked with a faint smile.
Madame Pomfrey relaxed slightly, reaching out to straighten Remus's hair. “Do you feel dead? I think it would be something one would know.”
“Well... I feel rather myself, if that makes sense.”
“No more odd thoughts in your head?” Madame Pomfrey pressed.
“Um... less than normal, actually. Thoughts in general, that is. Nothing seems too odd in there... Although when I was at my worst I thought I was perfectly fine. So I guess I may not be the right one to answer that.”
“But you do realize your behavior of late was rather odd?”
“Hah, yes, very much. Horribly so.” Remus sobered at the thought. “Dr. Reed wouldn't be about still, would he? I'd like to talk to him.”
“He's right outside. Let me just get a few status spells taken care of and I'll get him.” While Madame Pomfrey worked, Remus's friends hovered at the edge of sight, oddly silent. Remus eventually realized that they must be wondering how much of their conversation he had heard and how he was going to react to it.
It wasn't news to Remus. He had read the signs a thousand time through Sirius, each more unrestrained than the last as Sirius tried desperately to hide his feelings in the face of Remus's assumed naivety. How Remus felt about it... Well, that hadn't changed much, even after his bout of insanity, Remus reflected.
Remus had assumed blissfully that Sirius was too foolish to understand the repercussions of pursuing a werewolf. Remus had clung to that conclusion, hating that such a decision was there when he could barely face the fact that he was a werewolf without the freedoms everyone else was able to enjoy. But, if what Remus had heard was correct, than Sirius had known all along and had been weighing the factors. Maybe for as long as the group had discovered Remus's furry secret.
It suggested a level of responsibility in Sirius that Remus had not perceived before. It allowed Remus to think objectively of such a choice, instead of shutting the thoughts inside to wallow and twist in the fires of lust and unfulfilled love.
Remus was not the same as before, but he was himself now. The revelation that Sirius wasn't just messing with Remus's head in hopes of a wild fuck left him feeling stunned. The answer was so clear that it was frightening after so much chaos and indecision.
“Please, Madame Pomfrey, I really need to speak with Jon. And...” He tilted his head towards his friends who were still trying to stay out of sight. “I'd like some privacy.” Madame Pomfrey nodded understandingly, and then hurried the boys out of the room.
Jon arrived a few minutes late, notebook in hand. “Hello, Remus.”
“Yeah, yeah, are werewolves practically insane when they can't have their mate, or am I just imagining information you never bothered to actually tell me?” Remus asked bluntly, completely ignoring all formalities.
“Ah, you finally figured it out. I was betting another week or so-”
“Why didn't you tell me!” Remus's bonds gave a warning creak, but he kept from breaking free and strangling the smirking doctor. “If I had known I could have found a way to distinguish the conflicting emotions. I could have dealt without nearly killing everyone I love!”
Jon smiled patiently, and pulled up a chair so he was eye level with Remus. “If I had suggested that you wanted to mate with Oh-So-Serious Sirius, you would have said something along the lines of, 'He might be a good fuck, but he'd be a horrible husband,' and then never allow yourself to think about it again. The repression of any more additional emotions would have led to a very certain killing spree, mostly concerning the many students that follow that boy around like cats in heat. As it was, you were jealous of the attention he got from your own friends. You were just not in the proper mindset.”
Remus glared angrily, extremely tired of realizing that everyone around him seemed to know more about his insanity than he did. “Will I continue to be insane?” Remus asked slowly and deliberately, hoping to keep the annoyingly cheerful tone out of Jon's voice.
“Oh, nothing like before, love. The grudge is gone, thank the gods, and won't be coming back. All werewolves experience moments of irrationality when faced with the ones they love. Humans suffer the same thing, although rarely on the same scale. Jealousy, possessiveness, the annoying need to lock your mate away from all that may gaze on him... If you work at it, these feelings will not take over you actions.
“But your mate, and the ones you allow to be around the two of you must be informed about it. Otherwise things could get very awkward. The Ministry is annoyingly blasé when it comes to differentiating between a lovesick werewolf and an out of control werewolf.”
Remus processed this information, all anger and pretty much any happy thought in his mind gone. He was actually considering it. He was more than considering it. He was anticipating it.
Jon gave Remus a contemplative look, smiling gently. “You can still get hitched to me if Oh-So-Serious Sirius turns out to be just a little too serious.”
This was little consolation for Remus.
*****
Another day had passed with Remus staring at the white ceiling with nothing to occupy him but his troubled thoughts.
They still refused to release him from his bonds. Remus considered explaining that the bonds were doing little part in holding him back, and it would be nothing for him to snap the thick leather straps, but decided against it. He wanted everyone's trust back and was willing to earn it all over again. Besides, he had a feeling he would not be allowed visitors if he did such a thing, and he was anxiously awaiting his friends to join him.
Dinner arrived, quickly followed by his guests. Remus hoped Madame Pomfrey would leave, but she seemed determined to embarrass him by hand feeding him in front of his friends.
“I can finish later.”
“No, you can't. I will be occupied with a mandrake victim once leaving this room, and it will certainly take the rest of the night.”
“If you would just let one of my hands free...” Madame Pomfrey's stern stare stopped him, and Remus fell silent. There was a brisk knock on the door and Jon popped his head in. “There is a very concerned parent of a third year out here.”
“Oh, Mrs. Nord! Jon, sorry to do this to you.” She held up the fork she was feeding Remus with.
“Not a problem, Poppy.” Jon took Madame Pomfrey's place at Remus's side, winking at him before giving the mediwitch his professional smile. She beamed in relief and hurried out the door to deal with the most recent disaster.
“You kids can come up and chat. I'm sure Remus would rather talk than eat right now.” James, Sirius, Peter and Lily crowded around Remus's bed while Jon took a seat in the corner by the door.
“My god, Remus, we thought you were going to die,” Lily said with large, troubled eyes. Remus found the look reflected in the others as well-the laughter of yesterday must have been his friends' way of dealing with their worry. “After we talked you fell into a fever for over a week. I was so worried.”
“I'm okay now, Lils. I'm a tough bloke.” He wiggled his fingers in invitation and the girl took his hand, grasping hard. “Hi, Pete. I'm glad to see you came by this time.” Remus turned his head sideways, smiling encouragingly at the smaller boy. Peter still stunk of fear, but his smile was steady enough.
“She's right, you know. We sneaked in a couple nights to watch over you and you looked horrible, thrashing around and sweating. You look much better now.”
Remus nodded, not sure how else to respond. He knew he had not been well, but he felt dwelling on it would not change anything.
Sirius's face was suddenly leaning much closer, and Remus blinked, trying to get his eyes to adjust. “Siri...” His voice sounded strange in his own ears, weaker than a moment ago. Sirius smelled amazing, and it was all Remus could do to not reach his tongue out and taste the boy.
“I thought you were going to die, Remmy,” Sirius said, as if that explained why he was inches from Remus's face, breathing his air with little regard for propriety or the other people around them. Sirius's hand cupped the side of his face, thumb rubbing over Remus's cheekbone in a small circle. Remus wondered if Sirius would have dared if Remus had not been tied down, and was for the first time grateful for the restraining bonds.
“Um... I didn't. Right?”
“No, you're still alive. I wish you would stop asking stupid questions.” Sirius fixed Remus with a solemn look, then smiled crookedly. “Can I feed you?”
Remus nodded carefully, certain their faces could touch if he moved just right. “I guess... Try not to poke my eye out or anything. Apparently that's why I'm not allowed to hold a fork.” Remus breathed easier once Sirius pulled away. And then froze, as Sirius's rough fingers caught over his wrist and insinuated between his flesh and the leather.
“Want me to take them off?” Sirius asked, meeting Remus's wide eyes.
Remus shook his head, glancing at Jon. “I'm fine. You'll just get in trouble.”
“Yeah, but its not like they can stop you. We know you, Remus. This is nothing for you.” James and Peter nodded in agreement. Remus stared in disbelief. He really had amazing friends.
While Sirius was fiddling with the surprisingly sterile looking food, James grabbed Remus's free hand, an apologetic look on his face. “I should have let you yell at Sirius properly when the time came. I was stupid-I was worried for the both of you, and didn't want you to say anything you would regret later.”
Remus raised his brows. “I wasn't going to yell at him, you know. I was going to take an old table leg that was in the Shack-I had already stuck the nails in it-and beat the crap out of him.”
James blinked a few times, tilted his head to the side, and smile uncertainly. “You're kidding.”
“No he's not,” Jon called from his chair, flipping through a magazine of Quidditch. “His type are quite clear on punishment.”
James took a deep breath, but bravely did not remove his hand from Remus's. “So... what were you going to do to me, then?”
“Well, that night nothing. You hadn't done anything wrong,” Remus explained. “But after you continued to interfere, I was going to physically beat you into submission and take control of the pack. Depending on you, it could have been to the death.”
James looked to Jon for confirmation. “He's being lenient. Most would have killed you for interfering with his dog. You must be very good friends.”
“Oh... Yay.” James watched Remus closely, finally dropping Remus's hand to wail. “Don't tell me shit like that! I keep thinking you're the nicest out of all of us, but clearly you're worse than me!”
“I am the nicest out of the four of us.” Remus sighed sadly. “I only would have hit Sirius a couple of times with the table leg. Then I'd punch him a bit at a very small percentage of my strength. After I would have collected some of his hair for a revenge potion later. And then I would have cried abut how horrible I was to do it for the rest of the day, when clearly he deserved the nails for a good gory five minutes. And before you ask how I know this; I'm a werewolf. I know all about proper punishment for my dog.”
Sirius, who had been listening closely while trying some of Remus's food to see if it was as horrible as it looked, gave a whimper and clutched James's arm. Jon merely nodded approvingly from across the room and said, “Very good friends.”
While James, Sirius, and Peter stared in horror at Remus, Lily had no problem asking questions. “Why do you keep calling him your dog?”
Remus scrunched his brows in confusion. “Because he turns into a dog-”
“Oh for heaven's sake-Why is he your dog, you dolt!” Lily also had no problem yelling at Remus and hitting him on the shoulder.
“Oh... Well, because he is.” Remus faltered, not sure how to put it into words. “Padfoot is Moony's. That's just the way it is. Ever since he showed up, Moony has been pretty much mad for him. It's just the way it's supposed to be.”
“I see,” Lily said, not quite sure that she did. “So... are you and Sirius...?” She made and X with her fingers.
Remus glanced at Sirius, who had decided that looking even remotely near the bed was impossible, his face bright red as he avoided Remus's eye. Remus quite remembered what his deranged self had done to Sirius's chocolate version. And he was pretty sure everyone there had not forgotten anytime soon, unless some illegal Obliviating had gone on.
“It's a possibility,” Remus finally said.
“Oh, I hope so!” Lily cheered with glee, clapping her hands together. “The two of you are so cute together. And really, Sirius needs someone to keep him in line.”
“Uhh... well that's nice to know,” Remus said lamely. Out of the corner of his eye Remus could see Sirius stirring circles in his chocolate pudding and casting furtive glances his way. Sirius was also beaming uncontrollably.
Finally the brunette stilled his hands long enough to gather the tray together and bring it over to the bed. James moved to the other side to give Sirius some room, while Peter stared doubtfully at the food. “Is it edible?” he asked, suspicion clear in his voice.
“Not really. Well, except for the pudding,” Remus amended. Anything with chocolate was acceptable in his book,
“Pudding it is, then.” Sirius took a large dollop up and held it before Remus's mouth. There was a hidden, wicked glint in the clear eyes, and Remus was not surprised when most of the pudding ended up on his nose. Jame snickered and suddenly a dribble of gravy was across his chin, and Peter stuck a fluff of broccoli in it.
“Madame Pomfrey is going to kill you lot,” Lily said, and stuck a grape on top of the nose pudding, Remus going cross-eyed a moment to see. “Anyone have a camera?”
“While you're looking, could I please have some pudding?” Remus asked politely, the smell of chocolate a cruel tease.
Sirius complied, and with a thoughtful look he slowly smeared the spoon across Remus's lips.
Remus carefully licked, having a fair idea what Sirius was thinking about but not willing to talk about it while surrounded by his friends. “Can someone scratch my ear?” Remus asked instead. Sirius quickly reached before anyone else could beat him to it. The friends were all in agreement that Remus's ears were the best part of his exritus, and they were all itching to touch the furry triangles.
Remus, having never had his ears scratched before, closed his eyes in contentment, letting Sirius's scent wash over him. The questing fingers tangled into Remus's hair, and he looked up, finding Sirius gazing down at him with unreadable eyes. Remus thought back to the way Sirius's skin had tasted, trying to take the chocolate out of the equation and wondering how accurate it had been.
“You look ridiculous,” Sirius whispered huskily. He dipped his finger into the pudding and drew a line following the most prominent scar on Remus's face. Remus fought the growing urge to growl.
“Oh, come on-I'm the one that's going to have to listen to Poppy, you know.” Jon, who had gotten up to see why everyone had gotten so quiet, grabbed a handkerchief and assaulted Remus's face until he was free of food and stickiness. “Now Remus, have you dealt with that issue yet? I suggest you get it over with, if only because I am needed elsewhere and cannot rightfully release you until it's out of the way.”
Remus shook his bound hands anxiously. “You mean I'm not allowed free until I deal with it? What happened to not rushing things!'
“Your Madame Pomfrey is pressuring me to make things better. For some reason she does not agree with tying up students, but for the life of me I can't see why. It always seemed a reasonable solution to me.”
Jon ignored the glare sent his way, and patted Sirius on the shoulder. “Personally, I would assume you'd be all for mounting this young buck-oh wait, that one is the buck,” he amended, grinning at James, “And getting on with your life.”
“Dr. Reed, you're not suggesting...” Peter turned a shade of green, cutting himself off before he actually spoke the words.
Lily laughed nervously, and then stopped on catching Remus's expression. “I'm sure that's not what he...”
“Now hold on.” Remus snarled and sat up with a start, his bonds snapping away like paper. “I don't care how many diplomas you have, you don't get to tell me when I claim my mate. And you sure as hell don't touch him while saying it.”
Jon continued to smile, and continued to rest his hand on Sirius's shoulder. “Oh? He's not your mate yet. I don't see your mark on him. So I suggest you get on with it before someone else comes along and makes the same conclusion. And, I suggest you explain to your friends the proper etiquette of dealing with such a situation. Along with the many new awkward ones that will be arising. Now Remus, get on with it.” Jon finished in an uncompromising tone previously not heard from the man.
Remus narrowed his eyes in warning, but made no move to continue the argument. “Fine,” he huffed. 'But you're being too premature about this. I haven't even spoken with him yet.”
“Then get to it.” Jon pushed Sirius at Remus, the startled boy nearly tripping over the bed.
“It's not that bloody easy,” Remus said agitatedly, unconsciously steadying Sirius while glaring at the doctor who must have lost his damn mind. If Remus didn't know better he would have thought that Jon was challenging him for Sirius, but that was just ludicrous. Jon wasn't even a werewolf. So that meant the man was up to something, and putting Remus's life once again in the middle of it.
Rightfully, Remus was furious. “I can't just go asking him to be my mate! A little subtlety would be nice-not that you ever seem to have any clue about that, Mister poke with a foot long needle to get people's attention!”
“Umm... You could just ask me,” Sirius mumbled.
“See, he wants you to ask him,” Jon said smugly. Remus was having none of it, and he doubled his glare.
“I know you're up to something, you sadistic, sad excuse for a doctor, and when I find out I'm-”
“For fuck sake, Ask Me!” Sirius shouted. Remus continued to glare daggers at Jon, and then kissed Sirius quite.
“Siri, love, that bastard is trying to interfere. And if he does I will become very ferocious. Please stay out of my way or you will be hurt.”
“What about your friends,” Jon pointed out cheerfully. “What should you tell them about such a situation?”
“That they should slowly back away. And if they intend to help, they should make sure I know they are helping me,” Remus said in a dangerous tone.
“Should they ever touch Sirius, or push him, or even suggest harming him the way I just did?”
“Not if they want to keep their fingers,” Remus snarled again.
“What if they try to kiss him?”
“I'll fucking kill them!”
Jon shook his head. “That's not very nice. Why in the world would you do that?”
“Because he's bloody mine!” Remus was pretty sure if the man asked him one more infuriating question he was going to rip his throat out on principle alone.
“Ah, well there you have it.” Jon spoke to the others in the room, although he kept his gaze tight on Remus the whole time. “This is how you will get yourself hurt with your friend from now on. Remus is not the same predictable boy of before, but of course, he is not the crazy one we were all becoming pissed off with either. This is likely the worst you'll see him, and if you get the feeling you have created such a situation, or someone ignorant has inadvertently done the same, the very easiest thing to do is-What is it Remus?”
“Talk to me,” Remus said with such menace that those that heard would have many second thoughts before actually complying.
“Very good. Remus, I have been very inappropriate. Could you tell me how to remedy the situation?” Jon asked in his merry voice, as if he were not faced with a very angry Remus.
Remus drew out a low growl. “That depends on whether you were trying to teach my friends something important, or if you were actually trying to piss me off. Which I have a great suspicion was your intent all along.”
“What if I told you that I needed to piss you off to judge how able you are to control yourself?” Jon asked in a reasonable tone.
Remus narrowed his eyes and then turned to Sirius. “Is that what he did?”
Sirius glanced at the doctor, his blue-gray eyes losing focus for a moment as he tapped into the unguarded mind. “He wants to make sure that we are loyal to you, and this was the only way to do it... He's worried about how things will go for you in the future. He thinks we're the best chance you have... as god awful as that thought is for him.”
Sirius held his head for a moment, fighting a wave of dizziness. “Ignore him and kiss me again. I liked that much better than all the yelling.”
Remus was persuaded unwillingly by the handsome boy on his arm. But he did manage to grit out that punishment would not be necessary this time around, but the next time Jon tried something like that Remus was going to mess him up so bad the man would not know what day it was. Remus then kissed Sirius, repeatedly.
Remus glanced up at his three friends, all of them with very different emotions on their faces at the sight of him kissing Sirius. He kindly told them all to go away.
“So you're going to claim him!”
Remus pulled away from Sirius's enticing lips with a scowl, facing down Lily who wasn't remotely intimidated. “Did I even pretend to suggest that? Don't you realize how serious a life bond is? It would not be fair for me to just suddenly confess my love and demand a bond from Sirius, which is why Jon expects me to be completely unacceptable with my behavior for the time being, hence his annoying demonstration.”
“I'll do whatever I have to, Remus. Tell me what I have to do,” Sirius whispered hotly into his ear. Remus gasped at the sensation and the suggestion. Lips latched onto his neck and Remus could only groan. “Siri... I am trying to keep some form of control...”
“Make me stop,” Sirius challenged breathlessly, and Remus spun with a growl and pinned Sirius's wrists with his hands. Sirius shivered at the very controlled power that was holding him firmly in place, and met Remus's intense gaze. “...I think you should fuck me now. I think now would be a really good time for that,” Sirius murmured, placing a row of kisses on Remus's face.
“Sirius, you're killing me here. We're still in fucking school. No one is ever going to give me a job with my illness. I can't-”
“Don't you dare doubt yourself,” Sirius said sternly, a trace of disbelief in his eyes. “You are a brilliant, wonderful, loving person. And fuck the world that can't see that. It's their loss. Now enough with your misplaced insecurities. I want sex and a very painful bite on my neck, and I want it now.”
Remus smiled in growing wonder at the boy in his arms. He removed his hold from Sirius and left him to sit on the bed while Remus walked the length of the room and opened the door. “Unless you're Sirius, get the hell out.”
“I don't know, I'm feeling very serious...”
“Get out!” Peter snickered and made a break for the door. Remus turned his glare to the rest of the occupants, stopping on the doctor. Jon was looking at him sternly, and he did have a lot of degrees to shove in his face if Remus didn't like what he had to say. “Well?”
“It might be wise to speak with your parents before taking on something as final as a life bond.”
Remus gave himself a moment to consider any conversation with his parents concerning Sirius and sex, and scrunched his nose. “Rather not. All of you go away now.”
“Remus, seriously man, think about this before you-” “Now!” Remus repeated, his eyes growing cloudy. “You don't want to get in my way this time, Prongs. I'm much more together mentally and will have no qualms about that table leg with the nails.”
Paling, James held up his hands, smiling sheepishly. “Going now. Come on, Lils.”
“But I want to see...” “Lily Evans, I will not hear such crassness from your pure lips!” James said in mock anger, whispering, “We can go play you-know-where,” under his breath and tugging her beaming form out the door.
Jon lingered, still looking overly stern for the man. “Mr. Black, how do you feel about pain?”
“Uhh... huh?” Sirius looked up blankly, not sure what the man was getting at.
“Would you consider yourself a masochist?” Jon elaborated.
“Oh. Well, don't go spreading it around, but yeah, I suppose so.”
“Good, well I don't think there will be any problems then. Remus, behave yourself. He's not informed enough to be completely submissive.”
“Go away,” Remus said roughly, staring down at Sirius. Jon rolled his eyes and left, locking the door behind him. “Have fun, you two.”
ATtD Chapter Index Links
Up above the Great Hall, four floating forms watched in dismay.
“He killed me! I can't believe he killed me!”
“He killed all of us, if you haven't noticed, twit,” James snapped, his mood foul at the realization that his well planned prank had ended with disastrous results.
“This is the last time I join in any of your games,”Lily said bitterly, staring down at her lovely body that was now sporting a broken neck. “Just look at my good robes.”
Peter noticed his own good slacks that were now covered in blood. “Yeah, we probably shouldn't have dressed so nicely.”
“Will the lot of you just shut up!” Sirius shouted, his patience gone. “Look at him! He intentionally killed me! He wouldn't have killed you if you had just minded your own business, but he certainly had all intentions To Kill Me! What the hell did I do!”
James, quite used to Sirius's melodramatic outbursts, instead did look at Remus, noticing for the first time that the boy was licking up Sirius's neck and tearing away his clothes. “Lily dear, maybe you should avert your eyes. I have the feeling that this is going to get very awkward, very quickly.”
Lily gave a small shriek when she saw what James was talking about, and then burst out laughing. “Sirius, I can't believe you got that pierced! That had to hurt like crazy.”
“What do you mean... how can you see-Ah, Remus, you... you... damn, I wish I could feel that,” Sirius concluded heatedly as Remus nipped at the piercing curving through Sirius's nipple. It took all three of them to hold Sirius back from trying to float down to his fallen body. Below, Remus looked up and growled at them, clinging onto Sirius protectively.
James chuckled and winked. “Well, well, Mr. Lupin. I'd like to say that I'm surprised, but really I'm not. You were just too much of a goody-goody to not be repressing some form of nastiness. But our dear Sirius, I guess that is a bit of a shock.”
Remus watched them warily, his mouth latching onto the skin of Sirius's chest and nibbling.
“Remmy-damn it! Why did you have to go and kill me!” Sirius wailed with watery eyes, torn between the affection Remus was giving and the violence he had inflicted.
Remus's eyes focused up on Sirius, confusion clear in their foggy depths. He looked at the Sirius floating above, and then the one in his arms.
The Sirius in Remus's arms was unnaturally still, and smelled like chocolate and rabbit blood. Remus ran his tongue over the damp skin again, tasting chocolate and sweat. He nuzzled his head into the side of Sirius's neck, his eyes lazily following back to the other Sirius above. Remus grinned darkly and bit into the neck again, watching as the Sirius above touched his neck in echo.
“Come play with me, Sirius.” Remus called softly.
“Goodness, Remus, what has gotten into you?” Lily asked, her expression stern. “You're being practically vulgar. Leave poor Sirius alone and go back to your hospital room before the professors have to hunt you down.”
Remus gave a harsh laugh and lewdly ran his tongue over Sirius's bare chest, his teeth pulling at the small piercing. “Oh-So-Serious Sirius, come down and play.”
“Shit Remmy... get a hold of yourself...” Sirius whispered, aroused and concerned for his friend's sanity all at the same time.
“No. Come down here and do it for me.” Laughing at Lily's outraged expression, Remus rolled onto his back and spread out invitingly, calling to Sirius again.
“Sorry, old boy, but there is no way in hell we're letting Sirius near you again. Not when you just off and killed him.” James broke in firmly before Sirius could do something stupid.
“But I want him,” Remus said lazily, his eyes trained on Sirius's flushed face.
“Then I suggest next time you don't kill him!” Lily spat angrily.
Remus licked his lips, eyes flickering to the fuming girl. “They gave me no other option.”
“What do you mean, Remus? Tell us what we can do to fix this.” Peter called from behind James.
Remus paid him no head, instead seeking out Sirius's very pretty face. “Come here, Siri.”
Sirius shook his head, his eyes full of sorrow. “I can't, Remmy. You crossed the line.” With a final broken look, Sirius disappeared into the air, followed by James, Peter and Lily.
Remus frowned in bewilderment, no longer anything above to look at. Blearily he focused on the dead rabbits surrounding him, most still squirming in pain. Sirius was bleeding in Remus's arms, all life gone from his body. Behind him, Remus could just make out James's glasses, crushed and dripping in blood.
Footsteps were approaching, and Remus rolled hastily, eyes glued to the door. Dumbledore walked in chewing on a fluffy bunny, blood dripping from where it was missing a foot.
“Mr. Lupin, there you are. Do you know how rude it is to leave half eaten food lying around? It's a good way to attract rats.” Dumbledore raised his wand, and before Remus could run, the scene began to melt before his eyes into the darkness of sleep.
*****
It was the same hospital room, but this time Remus awoke in chains, his wrists and ankles bound to the bed with thick leather straps and metal links. Two larger straps held his chest and abdomen securely to the bed. Remus didn't struggle. Surely this was where he belonged.
Outside Remus's line of vision he could hear voices whispering. He thought of the odd visions going through his mind and wondered if they had been real or not. It had felt real. He could remember the feel of flesh and fur tearing beneath his hands and the heat of blood on his tongue. Remus also remembered the odd flavor that had been present through it all. Chocolate.
There had been two Sirius's at one point. Two infuriating, beautiful sad boys. Could it be so simple, Remus asked to no one in particular. His murderous wold had united after the death of Sirius, having no other vengeance to keep the wolf fighting a losing battle. With it joined, Remus felt practically himself again, his mind aligned, his emotions more sure. Remus didn't have to fear the personalities overtaking him anymore, like they had done so many times the last couple of weeks.
If only there were really two versions of Sirius... But that was madness, and he knew much about madness the last month or so. Remus had lost all his senses on more than one occasion, and if he had not been dreaming then he had done irreparable damage when the opportunity had been given.
If he were lucky, the Ministry would destroy him now and forgo any sort of trial. That way Remus's parents wouldn't have to wonder and suffer long. His friends gone, Remus knew he had nothing left to live for but crushing, horrible guilt and loneliness.
The voices were growing louder, and Remus's suspicions were confirmed when Dr. Jon stepped into view, a somber expression on his face.
“You're awake, then?”
Remus licked his dry lips. “I don't know. Was I... was I awake before?” he asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. But needing to know more than anything.
“Yes. You had been heavily sedated with more mood enhancers going through your body than could be considered safe, or legal, but you were certainly awake.”
Remus let that sink in. Something tightened in his chest painfully, pulling him down and down until his eyes were squeezed shut and he was sobbing out his grief. “I-I killed them! Oh gods... how could I-All those poor little bunnies!”
Jon gave him a hard look. “Not to mention your closest friends,” he reminded tightly.
“Oh fuck them! They brought it on themselves by letting me out of my room and putting poor defenseless bunnies in my path. What the hell did they think I was going to do, pet them and be on my way? And then they were all hiding in with them, like I wouldn't associate 'human' with 'rabbit' in the middle of a killing rage? Those assholes!”
“Hey, you're the bloody asshole, Remus Lupin!” James shouted, coming into view. “We spent days on that prank just to make sure you would get to hunt chocolate animated rabbits! We could have done my demon haunted chick eggs painted all innocent and all, but no! We did that prank just for you, and this is the thanks we get! You didn't even say sorry for killing us!”
Remus cried harder in the face of James's very real anger, wishing his hands were free so he could cover his eyes. “Y-You're dead!”
“Am not!”
“Bloody well are! I killed you! I killed you and Lily and Peter and Sirius... poor Sirius...”
“What do you mean, 'poor Sirius?' What about poor James! You killed me!”
With a sob, Remus looked away, pulling uselessly at his bonds. He turned to Jon desperately. “This isn't real. I'm seeing things-Just make it stop!”
“Oh, you're not getting away from this that easily!” James stepped in front of Jon, waving his hand to someone on the other side. “Lily, give him one for!”
“Honestly James, leave the boy alone. Clearly he's confused.” Lily stepped up, putting a calming hand to James's shoulder. “Hello, Remus. Are you feeling any better now?”
Remus shook his head wildly, choking out a teary, “No.”
“Oh, cheer up, love. Things will look better.” Ignoring the restraining hand from James, Lily stepped forward and petted Remus's tangled locks.
It felt very real, and Remus sobbed again, tears streaming unchecked down his face. “There, there. Cry it out.” Lily wrapped her arms around Remus's shoulders in a hug, letting Remus have some shelter from the others in the room while he sobbed.
It smelled like Lily, and felt like her, and Remus could hear her heartbeat steadily through her skin. Remus was very confused, and only cried more. “I'm so sorry, Lils! So sorry...” he muffled into her shirtfront.
“Hush now. None of that. We all know you didn't mean it.”
“Speak for yourself,” James growled. “Hey doc, can I press charges or something?” He asked Jon, and to Remus's great surprise, Jon answered back as if he could actually hear him.
“If you do, the only sentence is death. They don't have much leeway for people in Remus's condition.”
“Ah, that's a bit harsh,” James said after a moment. “He might deserve it, though,” he added with a vindictive glare.
“So help me, if you get him killed Jamie I will make the rest of your extremely short life miserable,” a voice that sounded hauntingly like Sirius warned from the shadows. But of course Remus knew that couldn't be right. Sirius was unquestionably dead. Remus's bad wolf had made certain of that before leaving.
“Who...?” Remus called bewilderedly, and stretched his head back to see who was behind him. Sirius walked by, giving him a brief, “Hey, Remmy,” before laying into James. “We already decided as a group that we were going to forgive him. Stop being a prat! He was so messed up on pills he probably didn't even know his own name!”
“No...” Remus broke in tentatively, cutting off James's angry rebuke and catching everyone's attention. Crazy or not, he would not let his friends' ghosts think that Remus had defaulted blame, only to haunt him later once they discovered the truth. “I knew what I was doing.”
Remus bit his lip until it bled, eventually meeting Jon's gaze. “I broke my promise and went on a killing spree. It was completely my own fault.”
Jon nodded, patting Remus's head. “Good boy. Now shut up before your friends hate you forever.”
Jon turned to the three, Peter too afraid to actually face Remus again so soon after Easter. “Perhaps I should explain, since Remus is far too wrapped up in the psychosis of his head to do it himself.
“You,” Jon pointed to Sirius, “created a situation where Remus almost killed one of your peers, jeopardizing Moony's life, and Remus's as a result. You,” and here he pointed to James, “saved Moony from that situation, but did not allow him to enact the proper revenge needed to dissolve the situation. As each day passed where Moony was unable to punish Sirius, and you challenged the wolf's role as leader over his dog, his rage grew until it found an escape. Remus's exritus. You,” Jon pointed to Lily, “Are irrelevant to this situation. Just an unfortunate bystander mauled by a werewolf with a grudge.
“As for Sirius, it was only a matter of time before Moony had his revenge. Luckily your very intelligent teachers got wind of the prank you were planning and used it to their advantage. Otherwise there was no way on Earth you would have been able to free Remus long enough for him to rampage the way he did.” Jon gave them all a sharp look.
“Remus killed your chocolate counterparts-quite a nice piece of spell work, I might add. And no one alive was actually hurt, meaning Remus did not actually kill anyone. His rage is now gone, with little consequences.”
Jon paused, thinking briefly. “I do believe that covers it all. Well, most of it, anyways. There is still another problem of Remus's, but that is hardly anyone's concern but Remus and Sirius. Possibly James, if he has not officially divorced Remus yet.”
Lily smacked James on the shoulder. “I thought you had settled that already.”
“Quiet down, you. You like his dinners just as much as I do.” James gave Remus an accessing look, finally coming up and holding his hand out. Of course, Remus could not shake the hand because his were still firmly strapped to the bed, and James was a ghost, which Remus quietly pointed out.
“Seriously, Remus, drop the dumb act,” James said, his eyes narrowed. “We're alive. You didn't kill us. You're not in trouble. And... I'm sorry we freaked you out like that, but really, you freaked us out just as much.”
Remus nodded slowly in acceptance. “...Are you really all alive?”
“Yes!” they shouted, including Jon who went so far as to push James's hand into Remus's so the boy could feel first hand that they were all very much alive.
“I think I've lost my mind...” Remus blinked his eyes a couple times, staring from face to face. He landed on Sirius's and paused for a long moment. With the other presences gone, Remus wondered how he truly felt about the boy. He also couldn't help but wonder how Sirius felt about him, now after all his madness.
Remus turned to Jon, a question on his lips. “Am I... is anything still going through my system? I... I'm very confused.”
“We're currently flushing the mood elevators out of your body. Mostly because they seem to be blocking your inhibitions instead of actually being of use. We really don't need you without your inhibitions, Remus. It's all that keeps you in check.”
Remus nodded, knowing all too well the iron control he had kept all those years. Surely it was dangerous to enjoy the current moment where he did not have to hold back or control himself... Yet, it was hard not to revel a bit. “Can I sleep a bit... alone? Just... I need to think. So much has changed and... and I'm not quite sure who I used to be.”
“Yes, Remus. I think we should let your visitors go for now. You will have to be kept bound for now until we can be sure you aren't a threat to yourself or others.” Jon gave him an unreadable look, and Remus realized the doctor was not so certain if Remus was safe or not.
Closing his eyes, Remus found he was just as uncertain. “When the mood elevators are gone I'd like to talk,” Remus said to the man, hoping he had not ruined things with the good doctor.
“I'll be here watching over your progress.” Jon turned to the three students. “Say your goodbyes now. It will take a good day before we know anything.”
“Crap.” James rushed to Remus's side, giving the boy a hug. “You are an ass for what you did, Remus, but I forgive you anyways. Get rid of the crazy so you can go back to yelling at us while helping when no one is looking.”
Remus smiled weakly, squeezing the boy's hand before James pulled away. Lily bent over and kissed Remus on the cheek. “You owe me for my good robes, so I suggest you start thinking of what you're going to make me for the end of year luncheon.” She hastily wiped away a tear with the back of her hand. “We'll see you real soon, Remus.”
Words were failing him, so Remus nodded up at his friends, love and dread a strange mix in his stomach. Sirius, who had barely spoken a word to him, was hovering by the foot of the bed waiting for the two to leave. His expression was somber. Remus reached his bound hand out, and hesitantly Sirius approached.
“Can you... can you tell me why?” Sirius asked miserably, his fingers just out of reach.
“Why... I killed you?” Remus bit his lip hard. “Or why I broke your leg?”
Sirius finally looked up and met Remus's gaze, clouds of anger and sorrow swirling. “Am I such a horrible friend?” Remus shook his head slowly, and Sirius pressed closer. “What then? You can't... you can't pretend that was about Moony. Not all of it.”
Remus sucked in a breath, once again Sirius's odd insight catching him by surprise. “No... I can't pretend that. But, but it's a hopeless issue, Siri.”
“Why? What the hell can I do, Remmy? Tell me-anything! I will listen, just tell me!”
“I... I don't know,” Remus admitted with a choked sob. “I just don't know. This... this has been a long time coming. I don't know.”
“I don't want to lose you as a friend. I refuse, Remus.” Sirius wondered if the fresh tears were Remus, or all the the drugs the boy was on. The tears did little to console either of them, and Sirius felt a chill crawl up his spine as he watched the boy slip further and further behind whatever delusions and walls he had created to separate the two of them.
Sirius grabbed Remus's hand quickly, crushing the fingers in his shaking grip. “Do you hate me?”
“No, of course I don't. I just...” Sirius ignored the mumbled answer, turning to the more important question. “Do you love me?” Sirius was sure to stress the word, sure to make sure there was no confusion as to what sort of love they were talking about. Remus stared in shook and growing fear, his hand going limp in Sirius's tight hold.
“D-Don't ask me that,” Remus finally answered, his eyes pleading a message Sirius could not read. Sirius did recognize something though, reminded fiercely of the small moment after Remus had broken his leg.
“You didn't say no. I am listening now.” Sirius relaxed his grip, watching Remus's eyes intently. “Get better, okay? I'll be waiting for you.”
*****
Getting better was not as easy for Remus as everyone seemed to think. Remus was clean of the mood elevators by the end of that evening, but his head still swam in confusion of a world full of half-truths and scarlet air.
Madame Pomfrey informed him with an oddly low voice and wild purple hair that he had a fever. An infection was raging on inside, brought on by the stunning spells that had felled him in the Great Hall. In response, Remus slept. A lot.
Occasionally his broken, frantic dreams lifted and he found familiar faces peering worriedly down at him from beneath James's invisibility cloak. But the moments were short, and Remus was quick to fade off, taking their troubled gazes and whispered worries with him into the chaos raging behind his eyelids.
It would be a shame to die now, after he had finally found his mind, Remus felt. But he really didn't have much say in the matter. Madame Pomfrey hovered increasingly, as did Jon's presence linger more than the norm. Silence finally fell, cooling the heated senselessness of Remus's dreams and encasing him in numbing darkness. He did not wake again.
*****
Raucous laughter jolted Remus to consciousness. His eyes snapped open to blinding white, and he could feel his body pulled back by the now familiar restraints.
“You should have seen it! The kids had just walked in the door for dinner. Of course, Pete and I had gathered up the worst of the worst.” “Yeah, there was one, it didn't even have a back to it any more. It was just a fluffy face being pulled around in small circles by the front paws.” “They totally freaked out! We had left my arm there-you know, the one where Remus had bent all the fingers back. You could hear them screaming all the way out to the Great Lake!”
Remus closed his eyes, glad he was out of commission and did not have to reprimand his horrible, horrible friends. His rest was brief, Peter's next words jolting Remus greater than the loud laugh of earlier.
“So you really love him, Sirius? Even after he basically killed you?”
“Hmm?” There was a long pause, one that seemed to stretch on into eternity for Remus, and then Sirius answered. “Don't talk about that in front of him. Asleep or not, I don't need him deciding he'd rather kick my ass then be my friend. James was right. Remmy just isn't in the right place for me to be pressuring him with life bonds and shit.”
“Oh... Well, do you suppose he likes you back, then? He never struck me as the... well... Has Remus ever really showed interest in anyone?”
“You should have let it drop, Pete,” James voice warned before Sirius broke in, vehemently listing off every person Remus had ever given a second glance at.
Remus was surprised that Sirius had been paying so much attention since some of the names went back to crushes he'd had in first year. Remus had never pursued them, and his interest had dwindled as quickly as most teenage infatuations. Fourth year Remus's attention had been thoroughly caught by one person, and any other passing feeling had been stifled in the presence of Sirius Black.
Peter, rightfully cowed and wishing he had not brought the subject up at all-Remus could hear a certain squeak that meant Sirius had grabbed the boy by the arm to keep him from escaping the conversation-let out a drawn out, “Okaaaay. James, did you get that Charms homework done for tomorrow? I really need a quick review.”
“Crap! I haven't done any homework this week!” Sirius moaned, the whooshing sound of padding and vinyl announcing his theatrical fall into a chair.
Brisk high heels clicked on the stone floor. “If you boys cannot keep quiet, you will have to leave.”
“Sorry, Madame Pomfrey,” the four chorused reflexively, followed by a tense silence as Remus felt all eyes turn to him.
“Mr. Lupin, it would appear you are awake,” Madame Pomfrey said. When she came into view Remus could see a fair amount of wariness in her posture.
“I suppose I am... I'm not dead, am I?” Remus asked with a faint smile.
Madame Pomfrey relaxed slightly, reaching out to straighten Remus's hair. “Do you feel dead? I think it would be something one would know.”
“Well... I feel rather myself, if that makes sense.”
“No more odd thoughts in your head?” Madame Pomfrey pressed.
“Um... less than normal, actually. Thoughts in general, that is. Nothing seems too odd in there... Although when I was at my worst I thought I was perfectly fine. So I guess I may not be the right one to answer that.”
“But you do realize your behavior of late was rather odd?”
“Hah, yes, very much. Horribly so.” Remus sobered at the thought. “Dr. Reed wouldn't be about still, would he? I'd like to talk to him.”
“He's right outside. Let me just get a few status spells taken care of and I'll get him.” While Madame Pomfrey worked, Remus's friends hovered at the edge of sight, oddly silent. Remus eventually realized that they must be wondering how much of their conversation he had heard and how he was going to react to it.
It wasn't news to Remus. He had read the signs a thousand time through Sirius, each more unrestrained than the last as Sirius tried desperately to hide his feelings in the face of Remus's assumed naivety. How Remus felt about it... Well, that hadn't changed much, even after his bout of insanity, Remus reflected.
Remus had assumed blissfully that Sirius was too foolish to understand the repercussions of pursuing a werewolf. Remus had clung to that conclusion, hating that such a decision was there when he could barely face the fact that he was a werewolf without the freedoms everyone else was able to enjoy. But, if what Remus had heard was correct, than Sirius had known all along and had been weighing the factors. Maybe for as long as the group had discovered Remus's furry secret.
It suggested a level of responsibility in Sirius that Remus had not perceived before. It allowed Remus to think objectively of such a choice, instead of shutting the thoughts inside to wallow and twist in the fires of lust and unfulfilled love.
Remus was not the same as before, but he was himself now. The revelation that Sirius wasn't just messing with Remus's head in hopes of a wild fuck left him feeling stunned. The answer was so clear that it was frightening after so much chaos and indecision.
“Please, Madame Pomfrey, I really need to speak with Jon. And...” He tilted his head towards his friends who were still trying to stay out of sight. “I'd like some privacy.” Madame Pomfrey nodded understandingly, and then hurried the boys out of the room.
Jon arrived a few minutes late, notebook in hand. “Hello, Remus.”
“Yeah, yeah, are werewolves practically insane when they can't have their mate, or am I just imagining information you never bothered to actually tell me?” Remus asked bluntly, completely ignoring all formalities.
“Ah, you finally figured it out. I was betting another week or so-”
“Why didn't you tell me!” Remus's bonds gave a warning creak, but he kept from breaking free and strangling the smirking doctor. “If I had known I could have found a way to distinguish the conflicting emotions. I could have dealt without nearly killing everyone I love!”
Jon smiled patiently, and pulled up a chair so he was eye level with Remus. “If I had suggested that you wanted to mate with Oh-So-Serious Sirius, you would have said something along the lines of, 'He might be a good fuck, but he'd be a horrible husband,' and then never allow yourself to think about it again. The repression of any more additional emotions would have led to a very certain killing spree, mostly concerning the many students that follow that boy around like cats in heat. As it was, you were jealous of the attention he got from your own friends. You were just not in the proper mindset.”
Remus glared angrily, extremely tired of realizing that everyone around him seemed to know more about his insanity than he did. “Will I continue to be insane?” Remus asked slowly and deliberately, hoping to keep the annoyingly cheerful tone out of Jon's voice.
“Oh, nothing like before, love. The grudge is gone, thank the gods, and won't be coming back. All werewolves experience moments of irrationality when faced with the ones they love. Humans suffer the same thing, although rarely on the same scale. Jealousy, possessiveness, the annoying need to lock your mate away from all that may gaze on him... If you work at it, these feelings will not take over you actions.
“But your mate, and the ones you allow to be around the two of you must be informed about it. Otherwise things could get very awkward. The Ministry is annoyingly blasé when it comes to differentiating between a lovesick werewolf and an out of control werewolf.”
Remus processed this information, all anger and pretty much any happy thought in his mind gone. He was actually considering it. He was more than considering it. He was anticipating it.
Jon gave Remus a contemplative look, smiling gently. “You can still get hitched to me if Oh-So-Serious Sirius turns out to be just a little too serious.”
This was little consolation for Remus.
*****
Another day had passed with Remus staring at the white ceiling with nothing to occupy him but his troubled thoughts.
They still refused to release him from his bonds. Remus considered explaining that the bonds were doing little part in holding him back, and it would be nothing for him to snap the thick leather straps, but decided against it. He wanted everyone's trust back and was willing to earn it all over again. Besides, he had a feeling he would not be allowed visitors if he did such a thing, and he was anxiously awaiting his friends to join him.
Dinner arrived, quickly followed by his guests. Remus hoped Madame Pomfrey would leave, but she seemed determined to embarrass him by hand feeding him in front of his friends.
“I can finish later.”
“No, you can't. I will be occupied with a mandrake victim once leaving this room, and it will certainly take the rest of the night.”
“If you would just let one of my hands free...” Madame Pomfrey's stern stare stopped him, and Remus fell silent. There was a brisk knock on the door and Jon popped his head in. “There is a very concerned parent of a third year out here.”
“Oh, Mrs. Nord! Jon, sorry to do this to you.” She held up the fork she was feeding Remus with.
“Not a problem, Poppy.” Jon took Madame Pomfrey's place at Remus's side, winking at him before giving the mediwitch his professional smile. She beamed in relief and hurried out the door to deal with the most recent disaster.
“You kids can come up and chat. I'm sure Remus would rather talk than eat right now.” James, Sirius, Peter and Lily crowded around Remus's bed while Jon took a seat in the corner by the door.
“My god, Remus, we thought you were going to die,” Lily said with large, troubled eyes. Remus found the look reflected in the others as well-the laughter of yesterday must have been his friends' way of dealing with their worry. “After we talked you fell into a fever for over a week. I was so worried.”
“I'm okay now, Lils. I'm a tough bloke.” He wiggled his fingers in invitation and the girl took his hand, grasping hard. “Hi, Pete. I'm glad to see you came by this time.” Remus turned his head sideways, smiling encouragingly at the smaller boy. Peter still stunk of fear, but his smile was steady enough.
“She's right, you know. We sneaked in a couple nights to watch over you and you looked horrible, thrashing around and sweating. You look much better now.”
Remus nodded, not sure how else to respond. He knew he had not been well, but he felt dwelling on it would not change anything.
Sirius's face was suddenly leaning much closer, and Remus blinked, trying to get his eyes to adjust. “Siri...” His voice sounded strange in his own ears, weaker than a moment ago. Sirius smelled amazing, and it was all Remus could do to not reach his tongue out and taste the boy.
“I thought you were going to die, Remmy,” Sirius said, as if that explained why he was inches from Remus's face, breathing his air with little regard for propriety or the other people around them. Sirius's hand cupped the side of his face, thumb rubbing over Remus's cheekbone in a small circle. Remus wondered if Sirius would have dared if Remus had not been tied down, and was for the first time grateful for the restraining bonds.
“Um... I didn't. Right?”
“No, you're still alive. I wish you would stop asking stupid questions.” Sirius fixed Remus with a solemn look, then smiled crookedly. “Can I feed you?”
Remus nodded carefully, certain their faces could touch if he moved just right. “I guess... Try not to poke my eye out or anything. Apparently that's why I'm not allowed to hold a fork.” Remus breathed easier once Sirius pulled away. And then froze, as Sirius's rough fingers caught over his wrist and insinuated between his flesh and the leather.
“Want me to take them off?” Sirius asked, meeting Remus's wide eyes.
Remus shook his head, glancing at Jon. “I'm fine. You'll just get in trouble.”
“Yeah, but its not like they can stop you. We know you, Remus. This is nothing for you.” James and Peter nodded in agreement. Remus stared in disbelief. He really had amazing friends.
While Sirius was fiddling with the surprisingly sterile looking food, James grabbed Remus's free hand, an apologetic look on his face. “I should have let you yell at Sirius properly when the time came. I was stupid-I was worried for the both of you, and didn't want you to say anything you would regret later.”
Remus raised his brows. “I wasn't going to yell at him, you know. I was going to take an old table leg that was in the Shack-I had already stuck the nails in it-and beat the crap out of him.”
James blinked a few times, tilted his head to the side, and smile uncertainly. “You're kidding.”
“No he's not,” Jon called from his chair, flipping through a magazine of Quidditch. “His type are quite clear on punishment.”
James took a deep breath, but bravely did not remove his hand from Remus's. “So... what were you going to do to me, then?”
“Well, that night nothing. You hadn't done anything wrong,” Remus explained. “But after you continued to interfere, I was going to physically beat you into submission and take control of the pack. Depending on you, it could have been to the death.”
James looked to Jon for confirmation. “He's being lenient. Most would have killed you for interfering with his dog. You must be very good friends.”
“Oh... Yay.” James watched Remus closely, finally dropping Remus's hand to wail. “Don't tell me shit like that! I keep thinking you're the nicest out of all of us, but clearly you're worse than me!”
“I am the nicest out of the four of us.” Remus sighed sadly. “I only would have hit Sirius a couple of times with the table leg. Then I'd punch him a bit at a very small percentage of my strength. After I would have collected some of his hair for a revenge potion later. And then I would have cried abut how horrible I was to do it for the rest of the day, when clearly he deserved the nails for a good gory five minutes. And before you ask how I know this; I'm a werewolf. I know all about proper punishment for my dog.”
Sirius, who had been listening closely while trying some of Remus's food to see if it was as horrible as it looked, gave a whimper and clutched James's arm. Jon merely nodded approvingly from across the room and said, “Very good friends.”
While James, Sirius, and Peter stared in horror at Remus, Lily had no problem asking questions. “Why do you keep calling him your dog?”
Remus scrunched his brows in confusion. “Because he turns into a dog-”
“Oh for heaven's sake-Why is he your dog, you dolt!” Lily also had no problem yelling at Remus and hitting him on the shoulder.
“Oh... Well, because he is.” Remus faltered, not sure how to put it into words. “Padfoot is Moony's. That's just the way it is. Ever since he showed up, Moony has been pretty much mad for him. It's just the way it's supposed to be.”
“I see,” Lily said, not quite sure that she did. “So... are you and Sirius...?” She made and X with her fingers.
Remus glanced at Sirius, who had decided that looking even remotely near the bed was impossible, his face bright red as he avoided Remus's eye. Remus quite remembered what his deranged self had done to Sirius's chocolate version. And he was pretty sure everyone there had not forgotten anytime soon, unless some illegal Obliviating had gone on.
“It's a possibility,” Remus finally said.
“Oh, I hope so!” Lily cheered with glee, clapping her hands together. “The two of you are so cute together. And really, Sirius needs someone to keep him in line.”
“Uhh... well that's nice to know,” Remus said lamely. Out of the corner of his eye Remus could see Sirius stirring circles in his chocolate pudding and casting furtive glances his way. Sirius was also beaming uncontrollably.
Finally the brunette stilled his hands long enough to gather the tray together and bring it over to the bed. James moved to the other side to give Sirius some room, while Peter stared doubtfully at the food. “Is it edible?” he asked, suspicion clear in his voice.
“Not really. Well, except for the pudding,” Remus amended. Anything with chocolate was acceptable in his book,
“Pudding it is, then.” Sirius took a large dollop up and held it before Remus's mouth. There was a hidden, wicked glint in the clear eyes, and Remus was not surprised when most of the pudding ended up on his nose. Jame snickered and suddenly a dribble of gravy was across his chin, and Peter stuck a fluff of broccoli in it.
“Madame Pomfrey is going to kill you lot,” Lily said, and stuck a grape on top of the nose pudding, Remus going cross-eyed a moment to see. “Anyone have a camera?”
“While you're looking, could I please have some pudding?” Remus asked politely, the smell of chocolate a cruel tease.
Sirius complied, and with a thoughtful look he slowly smeared the spoon across Remus's lips.
Remus carefully licked, having a fair idea what Sirius was thinking about but not willing to talk about it while surrounded by his friends. “Can someone scratch my ear?” Remus asked instead. Sirius quickly reached before anyone else could beat him to it. The friends were all in agreement that Remus's ears were the best part of his exritus, and they were all itching to touch the furry triangles.
Remus, having never had his ears scratched before, closed his eyes in contentment, letting Sirius's scent wash over him. The questing fingers tangled into Remus's hair, and he looked up, finding Sirius gazing down at him with unreadable eyes. Remus thought back to the way Sirius's skin had tasted, trying to take the chocolate out of the equation and wondering how accurate it had been.
“You look ridiculous,” Sirius whispered huskily. He dipped his finger into the pudding and drew a line following the most prominent scar on Remus's face. Remus fought the growing urge to growl.
“Oh, come on-I'm the one that's going to have to listen to Poppy, you know.” Jon, who had gotten up to see why everyone had gotten so quiet, grabbed a handkerchief and assaulted Remus's face until he was free of food and stickiness. “Now Remus, have you dealt with that issue yet? I suggest you get it over with, if only because I am needed elsewhere and cannot rightfully release you until it's out of the way.”
Remus shook his bound hands anxiously. “You mean I'm not allowed free until I deal with it? What happened to not rushing things!'
“Your Madame Pomfrey is pressuring me to make things better. For some reason she does not agree with tying up students, but for the life of me I can't see why. It always seemed a reasonable solution to me.”
Jon ignored the glare sent his way, and patted Sirius on the shoulder. “Personally, I would assume you'd be all for mounting this young buck-oh wait, that one is the buck,” he amended, grinning at James, “And getting on with your life.”
“Dr. Reed, you're not suggesting...” Peter turned a shade of green, cutting himself off before he actually spoke the words.
Lily laughed nervously, and then stopped on catching Remus's expression. “I'm sure that's not what he...”
“Now hold on.” Remus snarled and sat up with a start, his bonds snapping away like paper. “I don't care how many diplomas you have, you don't get to tell me when I claim my mate. And you sure as hell don't touch him while saying it.”
Jon continued to smile, and continued to rest his hand on Sirius's shoulder. “Oh? He's not your mate yet. I don't see your mark on him. So I suggest you get on with it before someone else comes along and makes the same conclusion. And, I suggest you explain to your friends the proper etiquette of dealing with such a situation. Along with the many new awkward ones that will be arising. Now Remus, get on with it.” Jon finished in an uncompromising tone previously not heard from the man.
Remus narrowed his eyes in warning, but made no move to continue the argument. “Fine,” he huffed. 'But you're being too premature about this. I haven't even spoken with him yet.”
“Then get to it.” Jon pushed Sirius at Remus, the startled boy nearly tripping over the bed.
“It's not that bloody easy,” Remus said agitatedly, unconsciously steadying Sirius while glaring at the doctor who must have lost his damn mind. If Remus didn't know better he would have thought that Jon was challenging him for Sirius, but that was just ludicrous. Jon wasn't even a werewolf. So that meant the man was up to something, and putting Remus's life once again in the middle of it.
Rightfully, Remus was furious. “I can't just go asking him to be my mate! A little subtlety would be nice-not that you ever seem to have any clue about that, Mister poke with a foot long needle to get people's attention!”
“Umm... You could just ask me,” Sirius mumbled.
“See, he wants you to ask him,” Jon said smugly. Remus was having none of it, and he doubled his glare.
“I know you're up to something, you sadistic, sad excuse for a doctor, and when I find out I'm-”
“For fuck sake, Ask Me!” Sirius shouted. Remus continued to glare daggers at Jon, and then kissed Sirius quite.
“Siri, love, that bastard is trying to interfere. And if he does I will become very ferocious. Please stay out of my way or you will be hurt.”
“What about your friends,” Jon pointed out cheerfully. “What should you tell them about such a situation?”
“That they should slowly back away. And if they intend to help, they should make sure I know they are helping me,” Remus said in a dangerous tone.
“Should they ever touch Sirius, or push him, or even suggest harming him the way I just did?”
“Not if they want to keep their fingers,” Remus snarled again.
“What if they try to kiss him?”
“I'll fucking kill them!”
Jon shook his head. “That's not very nice. Why in the world would you do that?”
“Because he's bloody mine!” Remus was pretty sure if the man asked him one more infuriating question he was going to rip his throat out on principle alone.
“Ah, well there you have it.” Jon spoke to the others in the room, although he kept his gaze tight on Remus the whole time. “This is how you will get yourself hurt with your friend from now on. Remus is not the same predictable boy of before, but of course, he is not the crazy one we were all becoming pissed off with either. This is likely the worst you'll see him, and if you get the feeling you have created such a situation, or someone ignorant has inadvertently done the same, the very easiest thing to do is-What is it Remus?”
“Talk to me,” Remus said with such menace that those that heard would have many second thoughts before actually complying.
“Very good. Remus, I have been very inappropriate. Could you tell me how to remedy the situation?” Jon asked in his merry voice, as if he were not faced with a very angry Remus.
Remus drew out a low growl. “That depends on whether you were trying to teach my friends something important, or if you were actually trying to piss me off. Which I have a great suspicion was your intent all along.”
“What if I told you that I needed to piss you off to judge how able you are to control yourself?” Jon asked in a reasonable tone.
Remus narrowed his eyes and then turned to Sirius. “Is that what he did?”
Sirius glanced at the doctor, his blue-gray eyes losing focus for a moment as he tapped into the unguarded mind. “He wants to make sure that we are loyal to you, and this was the only way to do it... He's worried about how things will go for you in the future. He thinks we're the best chance you have... as god awful as that thought is for him.”
Sirius held his head for a moment, fighting a wave of dizziness. “Ignore him and kiss me again. I liked that much better than all the yelling.”
Remus was persuaded unwillingly by the handsome boy on his arm. But he did manage to grit out that punishment would not be necessary this time around, but the next time Jon tried something like that Remus was going to mess him up so bad the man would not know what day it was. Remus then kissed Sirius, repeatedly.
Remus glanced up at his three friends, all of them with very different emotions on their faces at the sight of him kissing Sirius. He kindly told them all to go away.
“So you're going to claim him!”
Remus pulled away from Sirius's enticing lips with a scowl, facing down Lily who wasn't remotely intimidated. “Did I even pretend to suggest that? Don't you realize how serious a life bond is? It would not be fair for me to just suddenly confess my love and demand a bond from Sirius, which is why Jon expects me to be completely unacceptable with my behavior for the time being, hence his annoying demonstration.”
“I'll do whatever I have to, Remus. Tell me what I have to do,” Sirius whispered hotly into his ear. Remus gasped at the sensation and the suggestion. Lips latched onto his neck and Remus could only groan. “Siri... I am trying to keep some form of control...”
“Make me stop,” Sirius challenged breathlessly, and Remus spun with a growl and pinned Sirius's wrists with his hands. Sirius shivered at the very controlled power that was holding him firmly in place, and met Remus's intense gaze. “...I think you should fuck me now. I think now would be a really good time for that,” Sirius murmured, placing a row of kisses on Remus's face.
“Sirius, you're killing me here. We're still in fucking school. No one is ever going to give me a job with my illness. I can't-”
“Don't you dare doubt yourself,” Sirius said sternly, a trace of disbelief in his eyes. “You are a brilliant, wonderful, loving person. And fuck the world that can't see that. It's their loss. Now enough with your misplaced insecurities. I want sex and a very painful bite on my neck, and I want it now.”
Remus smiled in growing wonder at the boy in his arms. He removed his hold from Sirius and left him to sit on the bed while Remus walked the length of the room and opened the door. “Unless you're Sirius, get the hell out.”
“I don't know, I'm feeling very serious...”
“Get out!” Peter snickered and made a break for the door. Remus turned his glare to the rest of the occupants, stopping on the doctor. Jon was looking at him sternly, and he did have a lot of degrees to shove in his face if Remus didn't like what he had to say. “Well?”
“It might be wise to speak with your parents before taking on something as final as a life bond.”
Remus gave himself a moment to consider any conversation with his parents concerning Sirius and sex, and scrunched his nose. “Rather not. All of you go away now.”
“Remus, seriously man, think about this before you-” “Now!” Remus repeated, his eyes growing cloudy. “You don't want to get in my way this time, Prongs. I'm much more together mentally and will have no qualms about that table leg with the nails.”
Paling, James held up his hands, smiling sheepishly. “Going now. Come on, Lils.”
“But I want to see...” “Lily Evans, I will not hear such crassness from your pure lips!” James said in mock anger, whispering, “We can go play you-know-where,” under his breath and tugging her beaming form out the door.
Jon lingered, still looking overly stern for the man. “Mr. Black, how do you feel about pain?”
“Uhh... huh?” Sirius looked up blankly, not sure what the man was getting at.
“Would you consider yourself a masochist?” Jon elaborated.
“Oh. Well, don't go spreading it around, but yeah, I suppose so.”
“Good, well I don't think there will be any problems then. Remus, behave yourself. He's not informed enough to be completely submissive.”
“Go away,” Remus said roughly, staring down at Sirius. Jon rolled his eyes and left, locking the door behind him. “Have fun, you two.”
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