The appeal of having kids is that they're FUN, obviously. But yeh I'm not going to say there's something wrong if people don't want to. As for the holidays thing, I think it does happen a lot to people that when they get together with their families, after a certain age the parents or whoever start hassling them about this stuff. I've heard a lot of people who have talked about this happening.
It seems like my family has pretty much gotten resigned to the idea that I'm not going to reproduce. I do remember my mom telling me several years ago that she thought it was selfish of me not to want kids, though.
When I was a bit younger than you, no, it wasn't a problem with people's expectations. Now that I'm older, people don't ask me anymore if I'm going to have kids [ =O ], so it doesn't bother them that I don't have kids. It just bothers me. Holidays are harder, a bit.
Actually, I think the holidays bit explains the whole thing. If there's more pressure around the holidays, that's because people are visiting their older relations more often, which would include their parents and grandparents, and obviously since those particular folks had that urge to pass on their genetic code in the first place, they've got a vested interest in seeing that code passed on further than that! Looked at it from that angle, of COURSE you're going to get pressure from the people who spawned you! Unless of course you are one of many multiple siblings, then they might not care so much. If you're an only child, watch out. You don't want the line to DIE OFF, do you
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I can't say I've ever been all that concerned as to whether my family line lives on after me. I DO have a sister and a brother, though, so maybe they can take care of that.
I mean, TV and movies are all about people being swinging singles into their forties or whatever. Society pressures us to be Young and Free and Going Out All The Time, which so totally doesn't happen with kids, unless going out=playground.
Yeah, that's another thing that bothers me. It sometimes seems like our society thinks everyone who DOESN'T want partners and/or kids wants to remain a Swinging Single with a Wild Bachelor Life. Which is weird, because I tend to think that both raising kids AND being a Swinging Single would be too stressful for me. Perhaps it's another example of how society tends to frown on introverts. It's not like anyone could POSSIBLY just want to spend most of their time alone, right?
First off, the El Jay crammed too many damn questions into their Writer's Block today.
Secondly...yeah, the whole 'child-free' thing for many people IS bitching about children themselves. There are some individuals who just do not like children. I used to be one of them. (As a matter of fact, I STILL don't like a lot of children, but those are mostly the ones who are precocious little shits. The whole 'look at me look at me I'm three and a HALF years old' behavior is so far outside of my parenting experience I can't relate to it.)
I have to be a little suspicious of people who say they like kids in general. I mean, do very many people like adults in general? No, we have to meet a person and evaluate them first. To act like we shouldn't do the same thing with kids is another example of being patronizing, I'd say.
Yeah, that's what I don't get about the whole "child-free" thing either is that it seems to be hate directed at kids themselves. Or sometimes at people who have kids, but I mean, if someone else wants to have children, as long as they're not forcing you to have any, or unless they're having like 16 of them, then how does that even affect you? I mean, I guess you have to deal with the fact that children exist, but even though I don't generally like kids they can still be cute at times, and I can still remember being a kid myself
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It often seems like a lot of people DON'T remember being kids themselves, and a lot of them now have children of their own and never understand where they're coming from. While I don't want to have kids, I think I would at least be able to see their point of view more than a lot of parents I hear about can.
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I mean, TV and movies are all about people being swinging singles into their forties or whatever. Society pressures us to be Young and Free and Going Out All The Time, which so totally doesn't happen with kids, unless going out=playground.
Yeah, that's another thing that bothers me. It sometimes seems like our society thinks everyone who DOESN'T want partners and/or kids wants to remain a Swinging Single with a Wild Bachelor Life. Which is weird, because I tend to think that both raising kids AND being a Swinging Single would be too stressful for me. Perhaps it's another example of how society tends to frown on introverts. It's not like anyone could POSSIBLY just want to spend most of their time alone, right?
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Secondly...yeah, the whole 'child-free' thing for many people IS bitching about children themselves. There are some individuals who just do not like children. I used to be one of them. (As a matter of fact, I STILL don't like a lot of children, but those are mostly the ones who are precocious little shits. The whole 'look at me look at me I'm three and a HALF years old' behavior is so far outside of my parenting experience I can't relate to it.)
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