Untitled ficlet: for Mariah!

[vodkasprite]

Surprise! I wrote something! And it's an FMA ficlet. Ed/Win, set at some point during the series. Doesn't particularly matter when, except that Ed has his automail

Comments

[kyatto]

*insert witty concrit here* *nitpicks irritating semicolon* ....

See...I told you. I can't crit style because everyone is different. It's good, it really is. You need to write more. :|

[vodkasprite]

yeeaaahhhh I have a semicolon problem.

[la_mignonette]

I like ittttttt! So sweet, and I like the descriptions/details ♥

The only thing is that the transition between them just standing around and OMGMAKEOUTS could be a bit smoother- maybe add a bit more in there? I mean, each bit is fine in its own, but it just seems kind of a sudden change.

[trasnochadora]

Daaaaaaaaamn.