Summer In Neptune (8/?)
Title: Summer In Neptune (8/?)
Author: Pat Kelly
Pairing: Veronica/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2200
Summary: A crossover with BtVS. Buffy runs away from Sunnydale and goes to the first place she called home.
Timeline: Between S2 and S3 for BtVS. Between S1 and S2 of VM, so there be possible spoilers. Fudged with the years, so Buffy is 17 in 2005, not 1998, like in the show.
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A couple blocks down from Veronica's apartment complex, the group was on the beach for Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Oz's last night in Neptune. "Dingoes Ate My Baby" played at the Pit Saturday and Sunday night, and the rest of the band got a ride back to Sunnydale from the whole, two groupies who followed them on the road. In a few hours, Oz was going to drive back his van with their equipment, Willow riding shotgun so she didn't have to listen to the two, lust bunnies.
They were seven people among about a hundred on the beach, having a mostly informal, neighborhood, "Independence Day" bash. There was a bonfire, and some fireworks going off every now and then, in between the patrols of Neptune's finest. Veronica was snapping shots of all this with her camera, Willow and Oz walking with her through the crowds.
"Impressive lens." Oz commented.
Veronica smirked. "Thanks, Oz--I like to think so."
"How come you're taking pictures again?" Willow hadn't worked that yet.
"Because I just couldn't bring myself to break our V.P.'s heart; he looked so, adorably hopeful. He wants you to *believe* he's stony and unflappable, but inside? There's this fragile, little boy who only wants some love. Who could say no to that?"
The redhead was confused. "The Vice-President?"
"Eh, I'd call *that* less adorable and more...constipated." Veronica told her. "I meant our vice principal." Well, that made more sense. "Last Tuesday, when I was still with..." She didn't have to say the name. "...I, uh, had lunch with him because he's taking summer classes, and as soon as I set foot on campus, the man had me cornered, begging me to get candids of students celebrating America's birth. Wants a front-page for the 'Back-to-School' issue of the Navigator."
"'Ronnie!" Dick Casablancas called her name, coming over holding a plastic cup in his hand.
"I tried to warn him his definition of 'teenage celebration' was probably written by someone in the '50s wearing *thick*, rose-colored glasses, but..." Veronica sighed and shook her head--not this. "Isn't this what the upper-crust would call, 'slumming it'? The beach with the 24-karat sand is all the way over yonder."
"Uncle Sam says we're all rich today--on patriotism. Yellow, brown, uh, darker brown...and white trash." He gave her a "finger gun," and she gave him a not really amused smile back. "And beer is beer, no matter what the color of your keg."
"Very poignant, man." Oz said sarcastically, but because it was him, you couldn't really tell.
"Blue-streaked dude gets what I'm sayin'." Dick used his beverage cup to point at Oz. "It's all in the name of 'Four on the Fourth,' anyhow."
"Like you hafta go to four, different parties before midnight?" Willow tried to deduce.
"Nope, I hafta get *wasted* at four, different parties before midnight. The challenge lies in remembering how many I've crashed so far, and where to head next." He outlined the simple yet complicated goal. "Pretty sure this is number dos."
"And you're facing this Herculean challenge all alone?" Veronica wondered with some surprise.
"One-hundred percent stag." He confirmed. "Tried to get Logan to make the rounds too, but, he hasn't been feeling it since yesterday, when you burned him to go full-on 'Heche' with your 'Ellen.'" He started contemplative. "Didn't one of 'em eventually get bored or whatever?" Veronica felt the anger begin to rise in her. "Hey, you know I approve; both see that Logan's totally better off." She attempted to go be elsewhere, but he wouldn’t shut up. "Whoa, wait...in the spirit of the evening, perhaps Buffy and I oughta finally work out the tension, so you two can truly move on together; you're welcome to join in--wanna help raise my flag for a little red, white and screw? Just pretend I'm an 'erotic assistance device' you might stick in a box...under your bed. Except like, realer."
"Shucks. Can't." Veronica's arm made the appropriate motion as she said this, and she then blinded him by snapping a picture and letting the flash go off in his face. "And as much as I'd love to keep this going with an off-color zinger about being at 'half-mast'? I have to cut right to the part where we go away." For good measure, she took her Taser out of her bag, and shocked him to the ground with it.
Veronica had enough pictures; she, Willow and Oz started heading back the opposite way, where their other compadres were. "He's not going on the front page, is he?" Willow blushed.
"I'm betting someday." Her boyfriend said without a doubt. Of course, he didn't say which front page.
Dick's words about getting bored, even if he was an idiot, made the redhead remember she had something to say. "Veronica?"
"Yeah, Willow?"
"Just want you know? If you hurt Buffy, I will beat you to death with a shovel." Willow's "resolve face" was present.
"Uh..."
Then she smiled. "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend."
She and Oz walked ahead of the flabbergasted blonde, who, when she returned from the gruesome, visual place said, "K, that was scarier than Wallace...and maybe even Dad."
***
"If you don’t mind, my fellow male and I would like a minute to confer. Be just a sec." Xander said to Mac and Buffy, after Buffy just told them she and Veronica were a couple, and Mac verified it. "Because, uh, in the wacky universe where I live, seconds are minutes, and minutes? Hours. It's a whole universe of--"
Wallace pulled him away. "'Cuse us."
This was a plan, you see. Because if Veronica and Buffy had told them together, they wouldn't have been able to process, and just stared at the two girls for a good fifteen minutes, imagining...situations. And then one of the girls, or both even, would feel the need to seek a violent resolution. This was just the safer course of action.
While the boys got into a two-man, football huddle some feet away from their claimed encampment on the beach, Buffy and Mac watched with some curiosity. Cordelia watched with wariness.
"Do you think I broke them?" Buffy wondered to Cordelia and Mac.
"If you didn't, I'm willing to." The cheerleader swore, keeping an eye out for her boyfriend's reaction.
Mac was on the fence. "Too soon to tell." Beat. "I thought I broke Willow, though; she didn't know what a 'Purity Test' was."
"Oh no." Buffy gasped, trying not to smile as she imagined it. "You told her?"
"You're the one who told her to ask me how I afforded my car." Mac reminded her.
"That's...okay, true, but I thought you were gonna be vague about it, and just say you provided a...service, that kids were willing to pay money for. And not go beyond. Off the cliff." Mac gave her an odd look, and Buffy sighed. "All right, what happened?"
Mac grinned. "Nothing, really...other than her taking it."
"She did not." Buffy's jaw unhinged. "Willow took...? No. *Willow*?"
Cordelia was just as bowled over. "*Rosenberg*? Red hair? Wears overalls from OshKosh B'Gosh?"
"Fear of frogs?"
"Hand to the 'Cloud Hippie.'" Mac gestured appropriately. "After she finished hyperventilating, she said she was 'going to be a senior, darn it,' that she was great at tests, and that it was time she faced her sexual fears."
"She said the word 'sexual'?" The shocks just kept coming.
"Well actually, I added that part." Mac admitted. "But it was implied."
"Um..." Buffy hesitated, but then she and Cordelia both asked, because they had to, "What'd she score?"
Mac held out her hand and smiled mysteriously. "Gimmie fifty bucks and you'll know."
Buffy's eyes narrowed at the extortion. "Rats." Then Cordelia started reaching into her purse, and the slayer slapped her hand. "*No*."
***
In the huddle, Xander and Wallace were still conferring.
"So the same thing was heard by both of us?" Xander asked, quietly. "We’re absolutely earwax-free and positive? 'Cause sometimes I'll be goin' along, status enjoying its quo-ness, and outta nowhere...bam! Random thought: 'Buffy's Gay! Buffy's Gay With Cordelia! No! With Willow!' Then I flog myself in harsh, harsh punishment."
"Please don’t ever explain what that means." Wallace requested. "Had similar thoughts creep in myself in the past, but this ain't that. No doubt in my mind." He spoke for himself. "We heard what we heard, X, and we heard *right*."
They took a moment to smile at their luck and appreciate this development, but then Xander had to address their predicament. "Then what play do we call here? Because if we're not watchful with the words, Buffy'll probably break our legs. One bone at a time."
"Or we choose to step back, don't say *anything*, she *still* breaks our legs, and Veronica juices us up with 50,000 volts, 'cause they'll think we're gettin'...carried away." Wallace added.
"Which we will be. And *then*, my girlfriend's gonna run me down with her car." Xander said, and they both knew there was nothing they could say or couldn't say to make this go well. Rock. Hard place. "We're screwed."
"So screwed." Wallace agreed, feeling his heart rate go up. "But I got your back if you got mine."
"Together we stand?"
"Divided we fall."
Taking a deep breath, Xander made it official. "1-2-3," And in unison, "break."
***
"So, and pardon the pun," Veronica began to ask as she went to her girlfriend upon return, "was it a hard sell?"
"Now I don't think I wanna know the answer." Buffy made an "eww" face.
"Yeah, no way does that deserve a pardon." Mac advised, making a similar expression. "You hang it with a crappy rope? Then let it choke to death. For days."
The new couple kissed just as Xander and Wallace rejoined them all, and were stopped cold by what they saw. When the girls looked at them expectantly, the guys were too glazed over to respond. Lightning could have stuck them dead right then, and they would've gone happy. Finally blinking, they looked at each other.
"I'm weak; I can't do it." Xander said to him. "They're *right there*. That's just plain mean. We're only human...last time I checked."
"Preaching to a ex-choirboy." Wallace understood. "We gotta go. 'Fore it's too late."
Xander nodded. "'The Fennel' speaks a wise truth." And he pronounced "Fennel" like the sausage. Next, he ran away, calling, "Best of luck!"
"Damn, X! Wait up!" Wallace took off after him. "And call me that again? I take you *down*."
Once they were a good distance away, Cordelia glared at the blondes. "Thanks so much for the 'lipstick and butch' PDA--now I have to go kill my boyfriend." She sighed and started to walk. "Way to be considerate of other people."
"'Considerate'?" Willow repeated incredulously, trailing after her. "You're one to talk! You and Xander...it's-it's like naked stuff! But with clothes!"
Cordelia smirked. "Well, now we know how you answered *that* question on the purity test. Do you watch Cinemax alone, or is Oz there?"
Willow looked back at Mac, hurt.
Mac went to keep pace. "I didn't tell them anything!"
Veronica and Buffy looked at Oz. He looked back at them. "Go." They told him.
"Thanks." He replied, hurrying to catch up.
"Our friends are strange." Buffy realized after her eyes couldn't follow them down the beach anymore.
"Mmhmm." Veronica nodded. "Does Willow threaten all of your significant others with a shovel?"
***
"I won't get bored." Veronica said without preamble, as she and Buffy walked the surf away from the noise of the parties.
Buffy's eyebrows shot up in question. "O...kay." She gave a weird smile. "I guess I...feel better now?"
"Know what? I never mentioned it--it's stupid." Veronica tried to erase it. "Just something Dick said."
The slayer immediately went into "fight mode." "Where is he?"
"Easy, Biff." Veronica said calmingly. "It's been handled already. I should know just to listen to the voices in my head when he starts talking, anyway."
"Why, what do the voices say?"
"To burn things." Veronica answered nonchalantly. "And that we should go on a date tomorrow night after work."
"I like whichever voice said the second thing." Buffy told her. "The first, not so much."
"Yeah, that one's kind of a little scamp. We can be glad he's the submissive type." Veronica went on. "So we'll call your mom in the morning, go do our shift, and then you can pay for me to eat...sound good, Butch?"
"'Lipstick,' you mean." Buffy smiled sweetly, in a way that wasn't sweet at all. "Think you've got that backwards."
"Do I?" Veronica pretended to think it over. "No...no, I don't believe I do."
"You do if you ever," Buffy yanked the camera out of Veronica's hand and ran a bit with it, "want this back!"
"All my voices? Out for blood." Veronica stood there taken aback. "Who just goes and fondles a girl's several hundred dollars worth of Nikon without an okay?"
Buffy took a picture. "C'mon, smile! We have memories of coupledom to capture. *Happy* memories! Can't be bored of me yet, Marsipan."
"You're lucky you have a real purdy face, Dumbers, that's all I hafta say." Veronica said faux-begrudgingly, watching some fireworks go off before chasing after her.
There was no getting bored of this.
Author: Pat Kelly
Pairing: Veronica/Buffy
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2200
Summary: A crossover with BtVS. Buffy runs away from Sunnydale and goes to the first place she called home.
Timeline: Between S2 and S3 for BtVS. Between S1 and S2 of VM, so there be possible spoilers. Fudged with the years, so Buffy is 17 in 2005, not 1998, like in the show.
----------------------------------------------------------
A couple blocks down from Veronica's apartment complex, the group was on the beach for Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Oz's last night in Neptune. "Dingoes Ate My Baby" played at the Pit Saturday and Sunday night, and the rest of the band got a ride back to Sunnydale from the whole, two groupies who followed them on the road. In a few hours, Oz was going to drive back his van with their equipment, Willow riding shotgun so she didn't have to listen to the two, lust bunnies.
They were seven people among about a hundred on the beach, having a mostly informal, neighborhood, "Independence Day" bash. There was a bonfire, and some fireworks going off every now and then, in between the patrols of Neptune's finest. Veronica was snapping shots of all this with her camera, Willow and Oz walking with her through the crowds.
"Impressive lens." Oz commented.
Veronica smirked. "Thanks, Oz--I like to think so."
"How come you're taking pictures again?" Willow hadn't worked that yet.
"Because I just couldn't bring myself to break our V.P.'s heart; he looked so, adorably hopeful. He wants you to *believe* he's stony and unflappable, but inside? There's this fragile, little boy who only wants some love. Who could say no to that?"
The redhead was confused. "The Vice-President?"
"Eh, I'd call *that* less adorable and more...constipated." Veronica told her. "I meant our vice principal." Well, that made more sense. "Last Tuesday, when I was still with..." She didn't have to say the name. "...I, uh, had lunch with him because he's taking summer classes, and as soon as I set foot on campus, the man had me cornered, begging me to get candids of students celebrating America's birth. Wants a front-page for the 'Back-to-School' issue of the Navigator."
"'Ronnie!" Dick Casablancas called her name, coming over holding a plastic cup in his hand.
"I tried to warn him his definition of 'teenage celebration' was probably written by someone in the '50s wearing *thick*, rose-colored glasses, but..." Veronica sighed and shook her head--not this. "Isn't this what the upper-crust would call, 'slumming it'? The beach with the 24-karat sand is all the way over yonder."
"Uncle Sam says we're all rich today--on patriotism. Yellow, brown, uh, darker brown...and white trash." He gave her a "finger gun," and she gave him a not really amused smile back. "And beer is beer, no matter what the color of your keg."
"Very poignant, man." Oz said sarcastically, but because it was him, you couldn't really tell.
"Blue-streaked dude gets what I'm sayin'." Dick used his beverage cup to point at Oz. "It's all in the name of 'Four on the Fourth,' anyhow."
"Like you hafta go to four, different parties before midnight?" Willow tried to deduce.
"Nope, I hafta get *wasted* at four, different parties before midnight. The challenge lies in remembering how many I've crashed so far, and where to head next." He outlined the simple yet complicated goal. "Pretty sure this is number dos."
"And you're facing this Herculean challenge all alone?" Veronica wondered with some surprise.
"One-hundred percent stag." He confirmed. "Tried to get Logan to make the rounds too, but, he hasn't been feeling it since yesterday, when you burned him to go full-on 'Heche' with your 'Ellen.'" He started contemplative. "Didn't one of 'em eventually get bored or whatever?" Veronica felt the anger begin to rise in her. "Hey, you know I approve; both see that Logan's totally better off." She attempted to go be elsewhere, but he wouldn’t shut up. "Whoa, wait...in the spirit of the evening, perhaps Buffy and I oughta finally work out the tension, so you two can truly move on together; you're welcome to join in--wanna help raise my flag for a little red, white and screw? Just pretend I'm an 'erotic assistance device' you might stick in a box...under your bed. Except like, realer."
"Shucks. Can't." Veronica's arm made the appropriate motion as she said this, and she then blinded him by snapping a picture and letting the flash go off in his face. "And as much as I'd love to keep this going with an off-color zinger about being at 'half-mast'? I have to cut right to the part where we go away." For good measure, she took her Taser out of her bag, and shocked him to the ground with it.
Veronica had enough pictures; she, Willow and Oz started heading back the opposite way, where their other compadres were. "He's not going on the front page, is he?" Willow blushed.
"I'm betting someday." Her boyfriend said without a doubt. Of course, he didn't say which front page.
Dick's words about getting bored, even if he was an idiot, made the redhead remember she had something to say. "Veronica?"
"Yeah, Willow?"
"Just want you know? If you hurt Buffy, I will beat you to death with a shovel." Willow's "resolve face" was present.
"Uh..."
Then she smiled. "A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend."
She and Oz walked ahead of the flabbergasted blonde, who, when she returned from the gruesome, visual place said, "K, that was scarier than Wallace...and maybe even Dad."
***
"If you don’t mind, my fellow male and I would like a minute to confer. Be just a sec." Xander said to Mac and Buffy, after Buffy just told them she and Veronica were a couple, and Mac verified it. "Because, uh, in the wacky universe where I live, seconds are minutes, and minutes? Hours. It's a whole universe of--"
Wallace pulled him away. "'Cuse us."
This was a plan, you see. Because if Veronica and Buffy had told them together, they wouldn't have been able to process, and just stared at the two girls for a good fifteen minutes, imagining...situations. And then one of the girls, or both even, would feel the need to seek a violent resolution. This was just the safer course of action.
While the boys got into a two-man, football huddle some feet away from their claimed encampment on the beach, Buffy and Mac watched with some curiosity. Cordelia watched with wariness.
"Do you think I broke them?" Buffy wondered to Cordelia and Mac.
"If you didn't, I'm willing to." The cheerleader swore, keeping an eye out for her boyfriend's reaction.
Mac was on the fence. "Too soon to tell." Beat. "I thought I broke Willow, though; she didn't know what a 'Purity Test' was."
"Oh no." Buffy gasped, trying not to smile as she imagined it. "You told her?"
"You're the one who told her to ask me how I afforded my car." Mac reminded her.
"That's...okay, true, but I thought you were gonna be vague about it, and just say you provided a...service, that kids were willing to pay money for. And not go beyond. Off the cliff." Mac gave her an odd look, and Buffy sighed. "All right, what happened?"
Mac grinned. "Nothing, really...other than her taking it."
"She did not." Buffy's jaw unhinged. "Willow took...? No. *Willow*?"
Cordelia was just as bowled over. "*Rosenberg*? Red hair? Wears overalls from OshKosh B'Gosh?"
"Fear of frogs?"
"Hand to the 'Cloud Hippie.'" Mac gestured appropriately. "After she finished hyperventilating, she said she was 'going to be a senior, darn it,' that she was great at tests, and that it was time she faced her sexual fears."
"She said the word 'sexual'?" The shocks just kept coming.
"Well actually, I added that part." Mac admitted. "But it was implied."
"Um..." Buffy hesitated, but then she and Cordelia both asked, because they had to, "What'd she score?"
Mac held out her hand and smiled mysteriously. "Gimmie fifty bucks and you'll know."
Buffy's eyes narrowed at the extortion. "Rats." Then Cordelia started reaching into her purse, and the slayer slapped her hand. "*No*."
***
In the huddle, Xander and Wallace were still conferring.
"So the same thing was heard by both of us?" Xander asked, quietly. "We’re absolutely earwax-free and positive? 'Cause sometimes I'll be goin' along, status enjoying its quo-ness, and outta nowhere...bam! Random thought: 'Buffy's Gay! Buffy's Gay With Cordelia! No! With Willow!' Then I flog myself in harsh, harsh punishment."
"Please don’t ever explain what that means." Wallace requested. "Had similar thoughts creep in myself in the past, but this ain't that. No doubt in my mind." He spoke for himself. "We heard what we heard, X, and we heard *right*."
They took a moment to smile at their luck and appreciate this development, but then Xander had to address their predicament. "Then what play do we call here? Because if we're not watchful with the words, Buffy'll probably break our legs. One bone at a time."
"Or we choose to step back, don't say *anything*, she *still* breaks our legs, and Veronica juices us up with 50,000 volts, 'cause they'll think we're gettin'...carried away." Wallace added.
"Which we will be. And *then*, my girlfriend's gonna run me down with her car." Xander said, and they both knew there was nothing they could say or couldn't say to make this go well. Rock. Hard place. "We're screwed."
"So screwed." Wallace agreed, feeling his heart rate go up. "But I got your back if you got mine."
"Together we stand?"
"Divided we fall."
Taking a deep breath, Xander made it official. "1-2-3," And in unison, "break."
***
"So, and pardon the pun," Veronica began to ask as she went to her girlfriend upon return, "was it a hard sell?"
"Now I don't think I wanna know the answer." Buffy made an "eww" face.
"Yeah, no way does that deserve a pardon." Mac advised, making a similar expression. "You hang it with a crappy rope? Then let it choke to death. For days."
The new couple kissed just as Xander and Wallace rejoined them all, and were stopped cold by what they saw. When the girls looked at them expectantly, the guys were too glazed over to respond. Lightning could have stuck them dead right then, and they would've gone happy. Finally blinking, they looked at each other.
"I'm weak; I can't do it." Xander said to him. "They're *right there*. That's just plain mean. We're only human...last time I checked."
"Preaching to a ex-choirboy." Wallace understood. "We gotta go. 'Fore it's too late."
Xander nodded. "'The Fennel' speaks a wise truth." And he pronounced "Fennel" like the sausage. Next, he ran away, calling, "Best of luck!"
"Damn, X! Wait up!" Wallace took off after him. "And call me that again? I take you *down*."
Once they were a good distance away, Cordelia glared at the blondes. "Thanks so much for the 'lipstick and butch' PDA--now I have to go kill my boyfriend." She sighed and started to walk. "Way to be considerate of other people."
"'Considerate'?" Willow repeated incredulously, trailing after her. "You're one to talk! You and Xander...it's-it's like naked stuff! But with clothes!"
Cordelia smirked. "Well, now we know how you answered *that* question on the purity test. Do you watch Cinemax alone, or is Oz there?"
Willow looked back at Mac, hurt.
Mac went to keep pace. "I didn't tell them anything!"
Veronica and Buffy looked at Oz. He looked back at them. "Go." They told him.
"Thanks." He replied, hurrying to catch up.
"Our friends are strange." Buffy realized after her eyes couldn't follow them down the beach anymore.
"Mmhmm." Veronica nodded. "Does Willow threaten all of your significant others with a shovel?"
***
"I won't get bored." Veronica said without preamble, as she and Buffy walked the surf away from the noise of the parties.
Buffy's eyebrows shot up in question. "O...kay." She gave a weird smile. "I guess I...feel better now?"
"Know what? I never mentioned it--it's stupid." Veronica tried to erase it. "Just something Dick said."
The slayer immediately went into "fight mode." "Where is he?"
"Easy, Biff." Veronica said calmingly. "It's been handled already. I should know just to listen to the voices in my head when he starts talking, anyway."
"Why, what do the voices say?"
"To burn things." Veronica answered nonchalantly. "And that we should go on a date tomorrow night after work."
"I like whichever voice said the second thing." Buffy told her. "The first, not so much."
"Yeah, that one's kind of a little scamp. We can be glad he's the submissive type." Veronica went on. "So we'll call your mom in the morning, go do our shift, and then you can pay for me to eat...sound good, Butch?"
"'Lipstick,' you mean." Buffy smiled sweetly, in a way that wasn't sweet at all. "Think you've got that backwards."
"Do I?" Veronica pretended to think it over. "No...no, I don't believe I do."
"You do if you ever," Buffy yanked the camera out of Veronica's hand and ran a bit with it, "want this back!"
"All my voices? Out for blood." Veronica stood there taken aback. "Who just goes and fondles a girl's several hundred dollars worth of Nikon without an okay?"
Buffy took a picture. "C'mon, smile! We have memories of coupledom to capture. *Happy* memories! Can't be bored of me yet, Marsipan."
"You're lucky you have a real purdy face, Dumbers, that's all I hafta say." Veronica said faux-begrudgingly, watching some fireworks go off before chasing after her.
There was no getting bored of this.