The Day of Wine and Roses

[vjs2259]

I took a personal day today. It's already begun to fill up with errands, last minute this and that, stuff postponed from the weekend, last minute emergencies, etc.

#2's class is having a small Valentine's party. I am already in the dog house cause we didn't add candy to the cards for the class. I hate the whole idea of Valentine's Day for children,

Comments

[kungfuwaynewho]

Easier if you're not

IDK, I pretty much disagree with this. Valentine's Day for the perpetual single sucks. Maybe easier if you've had serious relationships before? I'd like to have an actual VD sometime, and every year I don't, it sucks even more.

[vjs2259]

I know many people disagree with me on this (my own husband included), and I'm truly sorry this is a sucky day for you. Your point on it being different if you've had a serious relationship to look back on rings true. My single times were mostly in-between relationships.

I think love is the exception in life rather than the rule. It's the very existence of love that I'm celebrating. (I may have re-invented the day for my own purposes; I'm wont to do that with holidays. See: Christmas.)

There are so many things I'll never experience in life; I see that quite clearly here on the other side of middle age. But I digress.

I'll just hope it's not too bad a day for you, and if it does indeed suck, that at least it's over quickly.

[kungfuwaynewho]

I perhaps overreacted; I'm not crying today or feeling pangs of sadness or anything like that. It sucks in the abstract, in the general "yes you are still alone like a sad cat lady who will die alone" way, just one more reminder of that amidst many, but VD tends to be the one that's a bit more "society and culture are reminding you that you are missing out." (I'm rambly today, but I don't have the energy to parse that into real human English

[vjs2259]

No cats for me, I'm allergic. Another puppy?

I think I don't go out among people enough to get hit with the full force of the compulsive LOVE NOW vibe. This is how my husband feels about it too; he once almost punched an aggressive rose-pusher on the day. I wonder if gay couples hate the focus as well. I should ask my sister how she feels about it. I suppose it's like baby fever when you're infertile; I know that sucks. A co-worker and I got pregnant at the same time once; when I miscarried she managed to avoid speaking to me for the rest of her pregnancy and a while afterwards. I suppose she was trying to be kind, but it felt like I was a leper.

Now I have to go attend the third grade Valentine party and accept my blame for being a lousy non-candy provider. And call in the dog first--ack!

[nenya_kanadka]

As one half of a girl/girl couple, I only feel a little differently about Valentine's Day than I did when I was dating/hoping to date boys. I always feel slightly awkward when I'm in a relationship on the date, because I don't know exactly what to do or what the other person wants, but in general I approve of it. When I'm same-sex paired, I also feel like making a point that hey, my relationship exists! to at least poke a hole in the "het" part of the assumptions.

Of course, I may be completely full of BS because it's also my birthday so I can fall back on that in years where I'm not in a relationship. And anybody who wants hugs on the day ought to get them, I feel, in quantity!

Anyway, Happy Valentine's!

[vjs2259]

Thanks for the viewpoint! My sister (who recently married her girlfriend, seems to celebrate as others here do. More than me, in any case. I mean, the weird thing is, we don't celebrate V Day, my husband and I, except for cards. I really just like the idea of a day where we celebrate the concept of romantic love. I guess the main problem is that, in typically American fashion, we've turned it into a competition.

I did get some nasty flashbacks attending my son's third grade Valentine party. He is such an odd duck in his class. It was nice seeing the kidlets so excited and happy; not so nice seeing the ones who were excluded. So from my 'in the club' viewpoint I see positives, but for those not in the club, it's exclusionary. Now I have a sad :( But I've learned and re-connected to something. That's not a bad thing.

Maybe I'll just celebrate J/D Day from now on. Or even Valen's Day.