i'm there - Die x Toshiya | One-Shot
Just something simple for my dear fonulyn. Don't drag yourself down with unnecessary thinking darling. You're awesome ;)
I can’t do anything on my own. That’s why I’m in a band.
He’s been sitting at the small desk for about an hour. He’s leaning on his elbows, hands folded in a lose manner. Sometimes he picks at his tattoo, just a habit he got into. He’d been careful at first, afraid it could rub off, but that turned out to be nonsense. So ever since he adopted picking at it, when he was concerned or buried deep in thoughts.
His gaze is fixed on the small laptop screen before him, earphones on his head, the dark hair hanging loosely into his face, down on his shoulders.
He repeats the same scene again. And again. He watches it, the concern growing in his face and eventually, he lifts his gaze to turn and look at the four-poster hotel bed, behind him. He doesn’t understand. What he sees there is pure perfection.
A beautiful, young man. Energetic, friendly, open and curious and oh so talented. Fast asleep. Sometimes he gets jealous, because everything Toshiya does, is so graceful and seems so easy. And still… he looks at the screen again. The tired and pale face, hidden behind glasses and a scarf and he wonders. He wonders why this mesmerizing man believes he’s so useless.
Sometimes he wishes he could get into Toshiyas head. But then again he ponders, whether it might scare him. He still remembers the day, when he confessed his feelings to the bassist. And he remembers Toshiyas face. Shocked. Disbelieving. Happiness, somewhere hidden behind that insecurity. He looked like a kid back then.
“I love you.”
…
“Really?”
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help the shy boy to gain more confidence and that tape worries him to no end. There was no reason for him to be like that.
He shuts the laptop down and gets into bed next to his lover, snuggling up against his back. He pulls Toshiya in his arms, holding him in a firm, warm embrace and buries his nose in the short, black hair at his neck. His favourite spot. For a brief moment he closes his eyes and inhales his fragrance, until he feels the bassist stirring, moving slightly.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“Hmm”, is the only, very low, very tired reply, causing him to smile.
There’s a small silence, but it’s nothing awkward about it. He watches the features of his boyfriends face and shakes his head, barely visible.
“Tosh?”
“Hmm”, again tired and low.
“You do know that you’re not on your own, right?”
The younger blinks a little, but clearly can’t shrug the sleep off. The day had been hard for him. Days generally had been hard lately and he’d never felt so tired in his life.
“You know, I’m there. And as long as I’m there, you can do anything.”
Toshiya shifts a little, closing his hand around Dies.
“There’s one thing I can’t do when you’re there.”
“And what is that?”
He doesn’t wanna hear the answer. It’ll have to be something bad. He knows. Something that’s dragging Toshiya down, that’s keeping him on that low mood and makes him worried.
“Get some fucking sleep.”
And Die chuckles.
Again burying his nose in Toshiyas neck, he mutters a small “Sorry” and places a soft kiss on the warm skin.
I can’t do anything on my own. That’s why I’m in a band.
He’s been sitting at the small desk for about an hour. He’s leaning on his elbows, hands folded in a lose manner. Sometimes he picks at his tattoo, just a habit he got into. He’d been careful at first, afraid it could rub off, but that turned out to be nonsense. So ever since he adopted picking at it, when he was concerned or buried deep in thoughts.
His gaze is fixed on the small laptop screen before him, earphones on his head, the dark hair hanging loosely into his face, down on his shoulders.
He repeats the same scene again. And again. He watches it, the concern growing in his face and eventually, he lifts his gaze to turn and look at the four-poster hotel bed, behind him. He doesn’t understand. What he sees there is pure perfection.
A beautiful, young man. Energetic, friendly, open and curious and oh so talented. Fast asleep. Sometimes he gets jealous, because everything Toshiya does, is so graceful and seems so easy. And still… he looks at the screen again. The tired and pale face, hidden behind glasses and a scarf and he wonders. He wonders why this mesmerizing man believes he’s so useless.
Sometimes he wishes he could get into Toshiyas head. But then again he ponders, whether it might scare him. He still remembers the day, when he confessed his feelings to the bassist. And he remembers Toshiyas face. Shocked. Disbelieving. Happiness, somewhere hidden behind that insecurity. He looked like a kid back then.
“I love you.”
…
“Really?”
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t help the shy boy to gain more confidence and that tape worries him to no end. There was no reason for him to be like that.
He shuts the laptop down and gets into bed next to his lover, snuggling up against his back. He pulls Toshiya in his arms, holding him in a firm, warm embrace and buries his nose in the short, black hair at his neck. His favourite spot. For a brief moment he closes his eyes and inhales his fragrance, until he feels the bassist stirring, moving slightly.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“Hmm”, is the only, very low, very tired reply, causing him to smile.
There’s a small silence, but it’s nothing awkward about it. He watches the features of his boyfriends face and shakes his head, barely visible.
“Tosh?”
“Hmm”, again tired and low.
“You do know that you’re not on your own, right?”
The younger blinks a little, but clearly can’t shrug the sleep off. The day had been hard for him. Days generally had been hard lately and he’d never felt so tired in his life.
“You know, I’m there. And as long as I’m there, you can do anything.”
Toshiya shifts a little, closing his hand around Dies.
“There’s one thing I can’t do when you’re there.”
“And what is that?”
He doesn’t wanna hear the answer. It’ll have to be something bad. He knows. Something that’s dragging Toshiya down, that’s keeping him on that low mood and makes him worried.
“Get some fucking sleep.”
And Die chuckles.
Again burying his nose in Toshiyas neck, he mutters a small “Sorry” and places a soft kiss on the warm skin.