Noise
Title: Noise
Pairing: broken!Jonghyun/Key, Onew/Key
Rating: PG
Notes: I believe an anon prompted this for me on tumblr, with “Drumming Song” by Florence In The Machine as inspirational music. You can listen to the song here while reading the story. I also encourage you to watch the video at least once. This woman is so beautiful and inspiring to me.
--
The rain beat down on the glass of the sliding door, droplets cascading down the surface and meeting their demise on the patio. The small bonsai tree they had on the balcony railing would have teetered over if it weren’t for the fact it was strapped to the wood - the chair cushions were ruined until the sun could bleach them dry again. Key couldn’t hear the thunder, he couldn’t hear the pounding of the rain, he couldn’t hear the crack of the lightning. He couldn’t hear anything over the rush of his own heart, the blood whooshing through his brain and his ears as he sat on the couch with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs as he stared at the black screen of the powerless television.
He couldn’t feel the slight draft from the cracked window in the kitchen to let in the fresh air, he couldn’t feel how the whole dorm complex shook with the rumbles of the storm outside. He could feel nothing but a rapidly spreading numbness that seemed to dissolve and burn him at the same time, as his fingers dug into his kneecaps and he stared ahead, trying to overcome the myriad of emotions swirling through his brain.
But it was a storm of its own and Key finally closed his eyes, the wet orbs shedding tears as he let out a slow and surprisingly steady breath, his neck pulsating slightly on the side with every beat of his heart. His head was tilted slightly to the side, hair mussed from lack of shower at the end of a long schedule. He wore no make-up save for foundation - he reached up and with the end of his hoodie sleeve he wiped the make-up off of his face, the cloth scratching a bit against his skin with the force. His hand pulled away and on his black sleeve were all his falsities, all of his flaws, all of his pretenses. His slightly blurred vision looked at the flakes, at the powder mixed with the liquid foundation and he raised his sleeve to wipe at his face violently again, his skin chafing and turning pink from the abuse as he used his sleeve to wipe nearly all of the make-up off of his face; and then he unfolded from the couch, tearing off his hoodie and throwing it to the other side of the room.
He sat for a moment, then, feet planted on the floor with his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. He stared at the wood floor that he took so much care to polish, to make sure that it didn’t get scratched or scuffed because it would surely come out of their deductible. And all at once the anger hit him as he slid off of the couch and knelt on the floor, sliding his hands along the smooth surface before dragging his nails over it. It was useless, he knew, the lacquer keeping his blunt nails from making an impact but it was so satisfying to at least try to destroy the finely polished wood, to destroy something that he took so much pride and care in usually. His blunt nails broke where they were long enough and otherwise just slid uselessly against the wood; he started scratching furiously, eventually pounding on the floor in his frustration and he collapsed on his chest, there between the couch and the coffee table, his hands and arms still working to push at the floor, not to move his body but to try and move the ground itself beneath him.
Tears rolled down his cheeks, hot, and he pounded the floor with a closed fist again, and again, and again - his fourth swing was halted when warm fingers wrapped around his cold wrist and he didn’t even need to look up to see who it was. Those fingers were so solid and warm he knew them like second nature… he knew Jinki like second nature.
Jinki tried to pull Key up but Key didn’t move, instead ripping his wrist free from Jinki’s grip and he felt the older man kneel down on the floor next to him, his hands now grabbing at his waist to pull him upright. And well, if Jinki was going to be that persistent then Key couldn’t resist much longer because Jinki was considerably stronger than him and would win anyway. Best to make it less uncomfortable than it could have been.
“Kibum…” Jinki’s legs spread and he pulled Key into him, Key’s butt sliding on the polished floor as he curled up between Jinki’s legs and buried his face in his chest.
Key clutched onto Jinki’s hoodie with white knuckles, refusing to cry anymore but barely able to contain his emotions as his shoulders shook and sobs tried to breach his lips, wrack his chest and jolt his bones. Jinki just made soft cooing noises and pet Key’s hair, threading his fingers through the locks and untangling them from the leftover hair product. Soft lips pressed to Key’s temple and he finally started to relax, just a little - but then the door of the dorm open and if Key knew Jinki’s presence like second nature, then Key and Jonghyun may as well have been the same human being.
Because when Jonghyun toed off his shoes and came inside the dorm Key could smell her perfume on his clothes, could smell her lips on his skin and he shook his head, trying to fuse into Jinki’s body and disappear. But physics was a bitch and he couldn’t do that, so instead he just resorted to whimpering uselessly as Jonghyun got closer and not only could Key smell her, but he could smell the fine wine he had dined her with, he could smell her lips and her breasts and her fingertips -
“Jonghyun,” Jinki breathed out, as if he hadn’t known Jonghyun was gone in the first place.
Key always knew when Jonghyun was gone.
Jonghyun may not have given a verbal response but Key knew he had nodded his head in acknowledgement. Key could feel Jinki’s heart beat, feel his warmth permeating his frame, could feel the vibration in his chest when he asked Jonghyun where he was. Most of all, Key could hear the rare authoritative tone sinking into Jinki’s voice.
He buried his face deeper in the leader’s chest.
“I was with Sekyung,” Jonghyun answered, as if he was talking about how the sky was blue or the grass was green.
Today the sky had been grey, and the grass was dead with winter.
“It’s two-thirty in the morning, Jonghyun, curfew is at midnight.”
Jonghyun scoffed, “I’m an adult, I don’t need to have a curfew.”
“I beg to differ.”
Key started fiddling with the drawstrings of Jinki’s hoodie; he rarely got in charge with the members but when he did he was a force to be reckoned with. Key had never been on the receiving end of it, it was mostly towards Jonghyun and sometimes Taemin and Minho, for various things.
“Yeah? Who died and made you manager?”
“Jonghyun.”
Key could feel Jinki’s jaw tightening.
“I am the leader and that makes me responsible for every member.”
“Whatever, you just don’t wanna get lectured in the morning by manager hyung. I get it, save your own ass, whatever.”
Jinki was suddenly standing and Key’s face nearly met with the floor again; he avoided the collision by sliding onto his side and pillowing his head on a bent arm, watching as Jinki got closer to Jonghyun, who only looked slightly miffed.
“Don’t you dare insinuate that I’m doing this to save my own ass,” Jinki said, his fingers clenching into fists at his side.
Key could only feel his own heartbeat now - he glanced over to Jonghyun and watched his breathing pattern, and easily picked up his. Synchronized.
“Waiting up for me like my old man would just seems like you’re going on a power trip, man.”
“It was Kibum waiting up for you, not me.”
The silence roared louder than the storm outside, louder than the storm in Key’s head and he lifted his gaze from Jonghyun’s chest to his eyes, seeing the shock and the little bit of guilt reflecting in them. Key sluggishly pulled his body to sit up, his head lolling almost like a marionette with no strings, before he stood up straight and made his way over to Jonghyun. As he approached the storm roared louder and louder - which storm it was, he was unsure - and when he was finally right in Jonghyun, he lifted his arm and let his open palm connect with Jonghyun’s cheek.
This time, true silence echoed. There was no noise, no rumbling - just the calm after the storm as Jonghyun raised a hand to his cheek and blinked at Key, looking almost like he had expected that. Key’s fingers clenched and unclenched at his side and he held Jonghyun’s gaze for a moment longer, well aware of the fact that foundation was streaked unevenly and his jaw line wasn’t blended anymore and that the pimple on his left cheek was visible but he didn’t care.
Jonghyun looked like he was seeing Key for the first time.
Key finally dropped his gaze and brushed past Jonghyun, barely touching their shoulders as he retreated into his bedroom.
Jinki followed moments after and slid into Key’s bed, pulling the covers over them and wrapping his arms tightly around Key’s body, securing him into the safety of his chest.
Key knew Jinki like second nature.
Key knew Jonghyun like they were the same person.
Tonight, Jonghyun saw Key for the first time.
Tonight, Jinki had seen Key since the very beginning.
Pairing: broken!Jonghyun/Key, Onew/Key
Rating: PG
Notes: I believe an anon prompted this for me on tumblr, with “Drumming Song” by Florence In The Machine as inspirational music. You can listen to the song here while reading the story. I also encourage you to watch the video at least once. This woman is so beautiful and inspiring to me.
--
The rain beat down on the glass of the sliding door, droplets cascading down the surface and meeting their demise on the patio. The small bonsai tree they had on the balcony railing would have teetered over if it weren’t for the fact it was strapped to the wood - the chair cushions were ruined until the sun could bleach them dry again. Key couldn’t hear the thunder, he couldn’t hear the pounding of the rain, he couldn’t hear the crack of the lightning. He couldn’t hear anything over the rush of his own heart, the blood whooshing through his brain and his ears as he sat on the couch with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs as he stared at the black screen of the powerless television.
He couldn’t feel the slight draft from the cracked window in the kitchen to let in the fresh air, he couldn’t feel how the whole dorm complex shook with the rumbles of the storm outside. He could feel nothing but a rapidly spreading numbness that seemed to dissolve and burn him at the same time, as his fingers dug into his kneecaps and he stared ahead, trying to overcome the myriad of emotions swirling through his brain.
But it was a storm of its own and Key finally closed his eyes, the wet orbs shedding tears as he let out a slow and surprisingly steady breath, his neck pulsating slightly on the side with every beat of his heart. His head was tilted slightly to the side, hair mussed from lack of shower at the end of a long schedule. He wore no make-up save for foundation - he reached up and with the end of his hoodie sleeve he wiped the make-up off of his face, the cloth scratching a bit against his skin with the force. His hand pulled away and on his black sleeve were all his falsities, all of his flaws, all of his pretenses. His slightly blurred vision looked at the flakes, at the powder mixed with the liquid foundation and he raised his sleeve to wipe at his face violently again, his skin chafing and turning pink from the abuse as he used his sleeve to wipe nearly all of the make-up off of his face; and then he unfolded from the couch, tearing off his hoodie and throwing it to the other side of the room.
He sat for a moment, then, feet planted on the floor with his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands. He stared at the wood floor that he took so much care to polish, to make sure that it didn’t get scratched or scuffed because it would surely come out of their deductible. And all at once the anger hit him as he slid off of the couch and knelt on the floor, sliding his hands along the smooth surface before dragging his nails over it. It was useless, he knew, the lacquer keeping his blunt nails from making an impact but it was so satisfying to at least try to destroy the finely polished wood, to destroy something that he took so much pride and care in usually. His blunt nails broke where they were long enough and otherwise just slid uselessly against the wood; he started scratching furiously, eventually pounding on the floor in his frustration and he collapsed on his chest, there between the couch and the coffee table, his hands and arms still working to push at the floor, not to move his body but to try and move the ground itself beneath him.
Tears rolled down his cheeks, hot, and he pounded the floor with a closed fist again, and again, and again - his fourth swing was halted when warm fingers wrapped around his cold wrist and he didn’t even need to look up to see who it was. Those fingers were so solid and warm he knew them like second nature… he knew Jinki like second nature.
Jinki tried to pull Key up but Key didn’t move, instead ripping his wrist free from Jinki’s grip and he felt the older man kneel down on the floor next to him, his hands now grabbing at his waist to pull him upright. And well, if Jinki was going to be that persistent then Key couldn’t resist much longer because Jinki was considerably stronger than him and would win anyway. Best to make it less uncomfortable than it could have been.
“Kibum…” Jinki’s legs spread and he pulled Key into him, Key’s butt sliding on the polished floor as he curled up between Jinki’s legs and buried his face in his chest.
Key clutched onto Jinki’s hoodie with white knuckles, refusing to cry anymore but barely able to contain his emotions as his shoulders shook and sobs tried to breach his lips, wrack his chest and jolt his bones. Jinki just made soft cooing noises and pet Key’s hair, threading his fingers through the locks and untangling them from the leftover hair product. Soft lips pressed to Key’s temple and he finally started to relax, just a little - but then the door of the dorm open and if Key knew Jinki’s presence like second nature, then Key and Jonghyun may as well have been the same human being.
Because when Jonghyun toed off his shoes and came inside the dorm Key could smell her perfume on his clothes, could smell her lips on his skin and he shook his head, trying to fuse into Jinki’s body and disappear. But physics was a bitch and he couldn’t do that, so instead he just resorted to whimpering uselessly as Jonghyun got closer and not only could Key smell her, but he could smell the fine wine he had dined her with, he could smell her lips and her breasts and her fingertips -
“Jonghyun,” Jinki breathed out, as if he hadn’t known Jonghyun was gone in the first place.
Key always knew when Jonghyun was gone.
Jonghyun may not have given a verbal response but Key knew he had nodded his head in acknowledgement. Key could feel Jinki’s heart beat, feel his warmth permeating his frame, could feel the vibration in his chest when he asked Jonghyun where he was. Most of all, Key could hear the rare authoritative tone sinking into Jinki’s voice.
He buried his face deeper in the leader’s chest.
“I was with Sekyung,” Jonghyun answered, as if he was talking about how the sky was blue or the grass was green.
Today the sky had been grey, and the grass was dead with winter.
“It’s two-thirty in the morning, Jonghyun, curfew is at midnight.”
Jonghyun scoffed, “I’m an adult, I don’t need to have a curfew.”
“I beg to differ.”
Key started fiddling with the drawstrings of Jinki’s hoodie; he rarely got in charge with the members but when he did he was a force to be reckoned with. Key had never been on the receiving end of it, it was mostly towards Jonghyun and sometimes Taemin and Minho, for various things.
“Yeah? Who died and made you manager?”
“Jonghyun.”
Key could feel Jinki’s jaw tightening.
“I am the leader and that makes me responsible for every member.”
“Whatever, you just don’t wanna get lectured in the morning by manager hyung. I get it, save your own ass, whatever.”
Jinki was suddenly standing and Key’s face nearly met with the floor again; he avoided the collision by sliding onto his side and pillowing his head on a bent arm, watching as Jinki got closer to Jonghyun, who only looked slightly miffed.
“Don’t you dare insinuate that I’m doing this to save my own ass,” Jinki said, his fingers clenching into fists at his side.
Key could only feel his own heartbeat now - he glanced over to Jonghyun and watched his breathing pattern, and easily picked up his. Synchronized.
“Waiting up for me like my old man would just seems like you’re going on a power trip, man.”
“It was Kibum waiting up for you, not me.”
The silence roared louder than the storm outside, louder than the storm in Key’s head and he lifted his gaze from Jonghyun’s chest to his eyes, seeing the shock and the little bit of guilt reflecting in them. Key sluggishly pulled his body to sit up, his head lolling almost like a marionette with no strings, before he stood up straight and made his way over to Jonghyun. As he approached the storm roared louder and louder - which storm it was, he was unsure - and when he was finally right in Jonghyun, he lifted his arm and let his open palm connect with Jonghyun’s cheek.
This time, true silence echoed. There was no noise, no rumbling - just the calm after the storm as Jonghyun raised a hand to his cheek and blinked at Key, looking almost like he had expected that. Key’s fingers clenched and unclenched at his side and he held Jonghyun’s gaze for a moment longer, well aware of the fact that foundation was streaked unevenly and his jaw line wasn’t blended anymore and that the pimple on his left cheek was visible but he didn’t care.
Jonghyun looked like he was seeing Key for the first time.
Key finally dropped his gaze and brushed past Jonghyun, barely touching their shoulders as he retreated into his bedroom.
Jinki followed moments after and slid into Key’s bed, pulling the covers over them and wrapping his arms tightly around Key’s body, securing him into the safety of his chest.
Key knew Jinki like second nature.
Key knew Jonghyun like they were the same person.
Tonight, Jonghyun saw Key for the first time.
Tonight, Jinki had seen Key since the very beginning.