An open letter to Dan Savage
Dear Dan--
I write you not in your capacity as advice columnist, but as sexual
America's Neologist-In-Chief, the man with his finger on the perineum of
contemporary English.
Here's a list of words: blood, sweat, tears, come (or semen, or jizz, or,
if you must, cum), precome. Lymph, bile, pus, piss, snot, earwax. Human
bodily secretions have short, common names.
There's one glaring exception: vaginal lubrication. Two words, seven
syllables, all suck. There's not a simple clinical term, there's not a
slang term, all there is is circumlocutions and euphemisms. "Girlcum"
won't do--it's too ambiguous with female ejaculate, which is a completely
different fluid.
We need a word, Dan, badly. One or two syllables, easy to say. I propose
"zude," derived from transudate, but I wouldn't dare dictate. It's your
language--we just speak it.
Many thanks,
Vinnie Tesla
ETA: Dan replied (yes, already):
jazz? instead of jizz?
To which I responded:
Personally, I am averse to forming it by analogy with any word for semen, because it signifies so differently. Some women do ejaculate when they orgasm, and like I said, it's a rather different deal. A woman lubricating corresponds more to a guy getting a hard-on. OTOH, as I said, I believe in results. If you announce a word, I promise to try to use it.
ETAA: But wait! There's more!
I write you not in your capacity as advice columnist, but as sexual
America's Neologist-In-Chief, the man with his finger on the perineum of
contemporary English.
Here's a list of words: blood, sweat, tears, come (or semen, or jizz, or,
if you must, cum), precome. Lymph, bile, pus, piss, snot, earwax. Human
bodily secretions have short, common names.
There's one glaring exception: vaginal lubrication. Two words, seven
syllables, all suck. There's not a simple clinical term, there's not a
slang term, all there is is circumlocutions and euphemisms. "Girlcum"
won't do--it's too ambiguous with female ejaculate, which is a completely
different fluid.
We need a word, Dan, badly. One or two syllables, easy to say. I propose
"zude," derived from transudate, but I wouldn't dare dictate. It's your
language--we just speak it.
Many thanks,
Vinnie Tesla
ETA: Dan replied (yes, already):
jazz? instead of jizz?
To which I responded:
Personally, I am averse to forming it by analogy with any word for semen, because it signifies so differently. Some women do ejaculate when they orgasm, and like I said, it's a rather different deal. A woman lubricating corresponds more to a guy getting a hard-on. OTOH, as I said, I believe in results. If you announce a word, I promise to try to use it.
ETAA: But wait! There's more!