With Doc's Permission
Two long weeks had passed since the quarantine, and Jennifer was about to lose her mind. Not only had she and Ronon not spoken about what nearly happened, he had been ignoring her completely. To be just, she had to admit that she was also ignoring him, but she felt she had no choice but to. She imagined how it would be talking to him, only to see him squirm at her presence, making up excuses to leave. The voice of reason within her laughed at this worst case scenario, but all reason disappeared whenever he came near.
She remembered some days ago, when Ronon had entered the infirmary after a training session with Teyla. She had almost lost her journal to the floor when she saw him; her mouth went dry, her cheeks started blushing and she didn’t know where to hide. He pretended not to see her, and the situation didn’t improve when no doctors went to see what was wrong with him. They were used to Jennifer being the only doctor who ever stitched him up or put bandages on him, thus they were just waiting for her to step up to him. What saved her from having to look him in the eyes, was a new nurse who wanted Jennifer to help her analyze a sample of blood. She was ever grateful to the nurse, whatever her name was.
She sat by herself in the commissary, feeling alone and miserable. She made an effort to not eat whenever she knew John Sheppard and the rest of his team were doing so, because she always sat with them. She could certainly not sit with them now, pretending nothing had happened. What did they know anyway? She doubted Ronon had told them anything, and what was there to tell? They almost kissed in the infirmary, and she was acting like an angsty teenager. Why did she let this man have so much control over her life? Sure, he was incredibly handsome and appeared to understand her when she ranted about not fitting in and always standing on the outside, but that was all it was. A spur of the moment, a pass-time activity. She felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach upon realizing this. She was probably not the only one Ronon had been having spurs of the moment with, she thought. She felt a tint of anger, a rather unfamiliar feeling for her. She decided not to take more shit from him; she was going to tell him exactly what she was thinking of his behaviour.
She arose, left the commissary, and headed for where she knew Ronon had his quarters. She had not actually been there before, but she knew he always headed this way after their numerous lunches, breakfasts and dinners. She walked for quite some time, before realizing she had no idea where she was. The doors around here bore no names or signs, and the people walking by gave her funny looks. She probably looked very upset, she feared. She tried to calm herself down, thinking of how great it would be to speak her mind, watching the tall Satedan bow his head in shame and apologize. Or at least, she hoped he would be doing so, or else she would have to speak her mind even more. If she could find his quarters, of course.
She strolled down the endless hallway for some minutes more, before she suddenly bumped into John and Ronon.
“Hey there, Keller,” John said. “What are you doing around here?”
His question had an answer she couldn’t pronounce. She was about to say something that would probably sound completely senseless, when Ronon, who had kept his eyes on the floor since they collided, opened his mouth.
“Doc came here to tell me the results of a blood test I took this morning,” he said, effortlessly. John instantly got a worried look on his face.
“I sure hope it’s nothing serious,” he said, before wishing his friend good luck and leaving.
Ronon seemed to avoid her eyes, and she didn’t know what to say.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said quietly. She took a desperate look around, searching for someone or something that could save her from this situation. When she realized there was no one there to rescue her, she decided to talk.
“Well, you didn’t. And now we’re here, after two weeks of ignoring each other.” She raised her head just enough to see him in the eyes.
“Now, I know that it might not have meant very much to you, and that we hardly did anything at all, I mean, we didn’t even kiss, and…” Ronon put his finger on her lip.
“Follow me,” he said, grabbing her by the wrist before he started pulling her towards what must have been the door of his quarters.
Once inside his quarters, Jennifer did not speak at all. The tall man stood in front of her with his arms crossed, waiting for her to shower him with accusations. When he realized she had trouble talking, he decided to take matters into his own hands.
“This is hard for me,” he started. “Since Melena died during the siege, I haven’t been close to anyone.” He felt insecure; he hadn’t exposed himself to anybody this much in seven years. In fact, he hadn’t exposed himself at all. To others, he was a silent loner who kept mostly to himself, except when it would seem weird. Jennifer smiled dejectedly.
“You could have just told me, and I would have stopped thinking about you. Or at least, I would have tried.” She took a step towards him.
“I’ve been thinking about you, you see. A lot.” She was obviously about to cry.
Ronon sighed, and sat down on the bed.
“I didn’t want you to stop thinking about me.” He looked at her with the most sincere expression she had ever seen.
“I like you a lot. I even…” He interrupted himself, before starting the sentence over again.
“I even like it when I get hurt off-world or when Teyla kicks my ass, because you’re always the one who stitches me up.” He thought about what he had said for a moment, before he started laughing at himself. Jennifer sat down next to him. “Seriously?” Her voice was soft and pleasant again. “I had the feeling you were doing something like that. I mean, you always came on my shifts.” He took her hand in his, and leaned towards her. The smile on his lips and the look in his eyes made her weak again, just like the time in the infirmary.
“I’m sorry for being such a jerk,” he apologized.
She shrugged. “I have nothing to complain about, really. I almost kissed you as much as you almost kissed me, and I’ve been ignoring you too. We’re both jerks.” She let herself fall on her back, making him turn around to face her.
“Would I be a jerk if I told you that I like having you in my bed?” he said, grinning slyly. She could feel that damned heat spread in her cheeks again.
“No, that would be a nice thing to say.” Her heart skipped a beat when he lay down close beside her, so close that their lips would meet if she turned her head towards him.
“Look me in the eyes,” he whispered in her ear. She turned her head just enough for her right eye to look into his left. He laughed at her.
“Some more eyes there, doc,” he said, before pushing her face gently towards him. Their lips were actually touching each other now, but only barely. She had never been this excited in her entire life.
“Can I kiss you now, doc?” he whispered. “Yes,” she answered.
She remembered some days ago, when Ronon had entered the infirmary after a training session with Teyla. She had almost lost her journal to the floor when she saw him; her mouth went dry, her cheeks started blushing and she didn’t know where to hide. He pretended not to see her, and the situation didn’t improve when no doctors went to see what was wrong with him. They were used to Jennifer being the only doctor who ever stitched him up or put bandages on him, thus they were just waiting for her to step up to him. What saved her from having to look him in the eyes, was a new nurse who wanted Jennifer to help her analyze a sample of blood. She was ever grateful to the nurse, whatever her name was.
She sat by herself in the commissary, feeling alone and miserable. She made an effort to not eat whenever she knew John Sheppard and the rest of his team were doing so, because she always sat with them. She could certainly not sit with them now, pretending nothing had happened. What did they know anyway? She doubted Ronon had told them anything, and what was there to tell? They almost kissed in the infirmary, and she was acting like an angsty teenager. Why did she let this man have so much control over her life? Sure, he was incredibly handsome and appeared to understand her when she ranted about not fitting in and always standing on the outside, but that was all it was. A spur of the moment, a pass-time activity. She felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach upon realizing this. She was probably not the only one Ronon had been having spurs of the moment with, she thought. She felt a tint of anger, a rather unfamiliar feeling for her. She decided not to take more shit from him; she was going to tell him exactly what she was thinking of his behaviour.
She arose, left the commissary, and headed for where she knew Ronon had his quarters. She had not actually been there before, but she knew he always headed this way after their numerous lunches, breakfasts and dinners. She walked for quite some time, before realizing she had no idea where she was. The doors around here bore no names or signs, and the people walking by gave her funny looks. She probably looked very upset, she feared. She tried to calm herself down, thinking of how great it would be to speak her mind, watching the tall Satedan bow his head in shame and apologize. Or at least, she hoped he would be doing so, or else she would have to speak her mind even more. If she could find his quarters, of course.
She strolled down the endless hallway for some minutes more, before she suddenly bumped into John and Ronon.
“Hey there, Keller,” John said. “What are you doing around here?”
His question had an answer she couldn’t pronounce. She was about to say something that would probably sound completely senseless, when Ronon, who had kept his eyes on the floor since they collided, opened his mouth.
“Doc came here to tell me the results of a blood test I took this morning,” he said, effortlessly. John instantly got a worried look on his face.
“I sure hope it’s nothing serious,” he said, before wishing his friend good luck and leaving.
Ronon seemed to avoid her eyes, and she didn’t know what to say.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he said quietly. She took a desperate look around, searching for someone or something that could save her from this situation. When she realized there was no one there to rescue her, she decided to talk.
“Well, you didn’t. And now we’re here, after two weeks of ignoring each other.” She raised her head just enough to see him in the eyes.
“Now, I know that it might not have meant very much to you, and that we hardly did anything at all, I mean, we didn’t even kiss, and…” Ronon put his finger on her lip.
“Follow me,” he said, grabbing her by the wrist before he started pulling her towards what must have been the door of his quarters.
Once inside his quarters, Jennifer did not speak at all. The tall man stood in front of her with his arms crossed, waiting for her to shower him with accusations. When he realized she had trouble talking, he decided to take matters into his own hands.
“This is hard for me,” he started. “Since Melena died during the siege, I haven’t been close to anyone.” He felt insecure; he hadn’t exposed himself to anybody this much in seven years. In fact, he hadn’t exposed himself at all. To others, he was a silent loner who kept mostly to himself, except when it would seem weird. Jennifer smiled dejectedly.
“You could have just told me, and I would have stopped thinking about you. Or at least, I would have tried.” She took a step towards him.
“I’ve been thinking about you, you see. A lot.” She was obviously about to cry.
Ronon sighed, and sat down on the bed.
“I didn’t want you to stop thinking about me.” He looked at her with the most sincere expression she had ever seen.
“I like you a lot. I even…” He interrupted himself, before starting the sentence over again.
“I even like it when I get hurt off-world or when Teyla kicks my ass, because you’re always the one who stitches me up.” He thought about what he had said for a moment, before he started laughing at himself. Jennifer sat down next to him. “Seriously?” Her voice was soft and pleasant again. “I had the feeling you were doing something like that. I mean, you always came on my shifts.” He took her hand in his, and leaned towards her. The smile on his lips and the look in his eyes made her weak again, just like the time in the infirmary.
“I’m sorry for being such a jerk,” he apologized.
She shrugged. “I have nothing to complain about, really. I almost kissed you as much as you almost kissed me, and I’ve been ignoring you too. We’re both jerks.” She let herself fall on her back, making him turn around to face her.
“Would I be a jerk if I told you that I like having you in my bed?” he said, grinning slyly. She could feel that damned heat spread in her cheeks again.
“No, that would be a nice thing to say.” Her heart skipped a beat when he lay down close beside her, so close that their lips would meet if she turned her head towards him.
“Look me in the eyes,” he whispered in her ear. She turned her head just enough for her right eye to look into his left. He laughed at her.
“Some more eyes there, doc,” he said, before pushing her face gently towards him. Their lips were actually touching each other now, but only barely. She had never been this excited in her entire life.
“Can I kiss you now, doc?” he whispered. “Yes,” she answered.