Comments | villainxatxhert: December Rain

villainxatxhert

December Rain - 1/?

Aug 16, 2009 00:42

December 4, 1972

Wet newspapers on roadside this afternoon. White on white as ink bleeds black into pure snow. City always seems more filled with filth in these harsh times when the weather seems to reflect sentiments of those that inhabit this rat hole. Why does scum seem to multiply when insignificant holidays come to call?

These ( Read more... )

nite owl/rorschach, watchmen, slash

Comments 13

shion_kun August 16 2009, 05:07:17 UTC

D: I LOVE YOU FOR WRITING THIS. <3!

You captured both of their personalities so well. :3 I can't wait to read more. ^^

villainxatxhert August 16 2009, 05:17:32 UTC

That was fast!

Glad you liked them. This is only my second time ever writing them, so it makes me happy that you think they're so in character. Next bit will probably be out in a few days.

shion_kun August 16 2009, 06:03:07 UTC

*claps* I can't wait! :D

Yeah, I'm a fast reader. >.>;

vampirlycanluvr August 16 2009, 07:22:55 UTC

More, please... (Pulls out the puppy dog eyes)
i loved it.
Very in character and now i'm wondering what more situations you're gonna stick the boys in.

villainxatxhert August 16 2009, 17:06:13 UTC

There will be more, either tonight or tomorrow. Glad you liked it!

miss_bushido August 16 2009, 16:39:05 UTC

This is so cute! :D

I can't wait to read the next one.

villainxatxhert August 16 2009, 17:07:00 UTC

Thanks! More is on the way

mllesatine August 16 2009, 21:04:08 UTC

I like this fic and because of that I would like to give some concrit.

Thinking of his smaller counterpart brought up a worrying observation.

The tone/Dan's voice is a bit off here. Would Dan really think of his "smaller counterpart"?

Being above ground in the wind and snow was one thing, but being underground in the tunnels and slightly wet from an icy slip was completely different.

It's actually less cold underground in my experience.

Why did it matter? It didn’t, Daniel’s life was none of his business. All that mattered was working together to clean up the streets, their work made a difference, that was all that really mattered.

One "mattered" too many. Maybe you could substitute "counted" or re-write the last sentence.

villainxatxhert August 16 2009, 22:20:05 UTC

Thanks for the constructive, I'm lways looking for ways to make my writing better, and the advice on characters and stuff helps. Hopefully my characterizations will get better as I go along.

tonks07 August 17 2009, 20:51:17 UTC

I really like this! It seems IC and I especially like the way you write Daniel. Will there be more?

villainxatxhert August 17 2009, 21:07:54 UTC

More is on the way, I just need to find a good place to end the next chapter. It's gonna be longer than this one so it might be another day or two... But I'm tryin my best.

Glad you liked it!