Remembrance - Day Seven
A/N: I have finally gotten over my laziness reached a moment of enlightenment. Hence, I present a new chapter.
One runs a risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed… - The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry
oOo
Remembrance - Day Seven
oOo
As captain, your goal was to lead the team to the Nationals. You told him that you had high hopes. Everyone in the team had both the strength and determination to reach the top. All the regulars, you said while looking intently at him, just had to play their best.
He smiled at you and said lightly, “We won’t let our guard down, then.”
You watched him pick up his racket and stroll to one of the courts. You were probably hoping that he, most of all, would soon find the motivation to play to the fullest.
The team’s hope rose when a twelve-year old freshman, Echizen, defeated an injured Momoshiro in a set. Momoshiro cheerfully admitted that even if there was no injury, Echizen would still have won. Thinking that Echizen would be very helpful to the team, you bent the rules a little to allow Echizen to join.
“Doesn’t he remind you of someone?” he asked you as you watched Echizen in one of Seigaku’s ranking matches. You have long been accustomed to his company during matches. He was always ready to give you insights when you wanted them, ready to listen when you, in turn, shared your own thoughts. Or, sometimes, the two of you just watched, simply enjoying the game. He gripped the fence wires and said, “He defeats his opponents mercilessly. He is very confident of his play.” He chuckled. “And he thinks of nothing else but tennis.”
You nodded quietly. “He can be Seigaku’s next pillar of support,” you said seriously.
To your surprise, he let out a low laugh. “You finally admit that you think of nothing else but tennis,” he said cheerfully.
You neither denied nor affirmed what he said. You just continued watching.
In those days, training for the tournament became the team’s top priority. Everyone trained hard. Even Inui, who had been displaced by Echizen in the intraschool rankings, helped. Inui formulated new training regimes as well as concocted more power juices. I suppose when Inui came to suggest testing the team’s stamina, you approved readily because you knew it would help.
During a long distance run before the prefectural tournaments, Inui introduced the Penal Tea and gave it to anyone who spent less than one minute per lap. After thirty or so laps, only the regulars remained. Inui placed another challenge by saying that the last who reached the finish line would have to drink the special veggie juice.
While the rest of the team ran ahead, fighting for first place, you heard him chuckle behind you. “Hmm… why does everyone put so much effort? That drink tastes good.” He chuckled again. “Why don’t you try it, Tezuka?”
Your brows probably twitched when you said, “No thanks.”
Inui was greatly disappointed when all the regular members reached the finish line at the same time. But you knew that the training did not end there.
“We will now be holding intrasquad matches. If your name is called, step onto the court,” you said in a commanding voice. “Fuji and Echizen, we’ll start off with you two!”
The club watched the match with anticipation. You too watched keenly, knowing that he and Echizen would challenge each other and help each other improve. Perhaps you even hoped that Echizen would be able to pull out his real strength.
The sky grew dark, however, and rain started to pour. Though he and Echizen were stubborn enough to stay and play, Ryuzaki-sensei told them off. You also wanted to see the end of the game, but accidents could happen because of the rain so despite your dissatisfaction, you told Echizen to take shade.
“Hey, Tezuka,” he called. He was wearing a thoughtful smile. “When you played with Echizen, was it like this with you too?”
“You knew all about it?” you asked. But you weren’t at all surprised that he knew about your secret match against Echizen.
“Yeah! I just had the feeling,” he replied.
“Then why didn’t you go all out?” you asked. You crossed your arms and gave his back a steely gaze.
He tilted his head but he did not answer.
“The match you had with Echizen just now… why didn’t you go all out for the victory?” you asked. You did not mind the rain. You thought that you needed to know why he wouldn’t show his true self. “It’s just as Inui said, Fuji. Your data cannot be collected,” you said slowly. Your voice was deep but it had a hint of disappointment. “Where is the real you?”
He stretched his left hand and felt the drops of rain trickle down his fingers. “Well… Tezuka, it seems that I have no motivation for victory.” His voice sounded hollow and his eyes were open. “Enjoying the thrill of drawing out an opponent’s potential to the limit… that was all I wanted.” He paused. “How about you, what is your motivation?”
“Victory, no matter the cost,” you said with a frankness that was almost brutal to him at that time. “Right now, the only thing on my mind is winning the national title.”
You caught his glance and you frowned a little. Perhaps you saw the flicker of sadness in his eyes. “If I become a hindrance… remove me as a member of the team,” he said quietly.
You strolled past him, leaving him to wonder if you were really going to do what he said.
Most of the shower stalls were occupied inside the clubroom. It seemed that nearly everyone was in a hurry to get cleaned up. Still drenched with rainwater, you waited by the door and watched him. He walked slowly towards the clubroom. His eyes were shut and he was smiling again. But you noted that he was pressing his lips tighter than usual.
“All the stalls are in use,” you told him when he reached the door. You held out a plain white towel and added, “Get dried for now.”
He accepted the towel with a murmur of thanks. Patting off the rain from his hair and his arms, he dropped to the bench. He still had an air of dejection about him.
You paced towards him and he looked up when he saw your shoes.
“I’m not going to remove you from the team,” you said truthfully. “You’ll be removed when you lose in a ranking match.”
“But if I don’t - “
“Don’t you want to reach the national tournament, Fuji?” you asked. Your eyes were staring straight at him, asking intently.
“I do,” he said. He hung the towel around his shoulders. “But not as much as you do.”
“That will do for now,” you told him. “Maybe you’ll show your true self at the right time.”
He did not respond.
He heard you release a sigh. “The team needs you, Fuji,” you said firmly.
The two of you waited till the last of the other members went out of the clubroom. Then, you entered separate shower stalls. He was quiet in the stall adjacent to yours whereas you usually heard his muffled humming during showers. Perhaps, you thought, he wasn’t quite convinced that he should stay in the club.
When you were done, you turned off the steamy shower and wrapped a towel around your waist. He stepped out of the stall minutes later. When he found you still undressed and waiting with arms crossed over your chest, he tilted his head in inquiry.
“Get dressed quickly,” you ordered. “Let’s have some tea on the way home.”
His lips spread to his usual cheerful smile. He nodded quietly.
You nodded your head too before you turned to get clean clothes.
oOo
As his lips opened slightly with the suspicion of a half-smile, I said to myself, again: “What moves me so deeply, about this little prince who is sleeping here, is his loyalty to a flower - the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep…” And I felt him to be more fragile still. I felt the need of protecting him, as if he himself were a flame that might be extinguished by a little puff of the wind… - The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry
oOo
One runs a risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed… - The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry
oOo
Remembrance - Day Seven
oOo
As captain, your goal was to lead the team to the Nationals. You told him that you had high hopes. Everyone in the team had both the strength and determination to reach the top. All the regulars, you said while looking intently at him, just had to play their best.
He smiled at you and said lightly, “We won’t let our guard down, then.”
You watched him pick up his racket and stroll to one of the courts. You were probably hoping that he, most of all, would soon find the motivation to play to the fullest.
The team’s hope rose when a twelve-year old freshman, Echizen, defeated an injured Momoshiro in a set. Momoshiro cheerfully admitted that even if there was no injury, Echizen would still have won. Thinking that Echizen would be very helpful to the team, you bent the rules a little to allow Echizen to join.
“Doesn’t he remind you of someone?” he asked you as you watched Echizen in one of Seigaku’s ranking matches. You have long been accustomed to his company during matches. He was always ready to give you insights when you wanted them, ready to listen when you, in turn, shared your own thoughts. Or, sometimes, the two of you just watched, simply enjoying the game. He gripped the fence wires and said, “He defeats his opponents mercilessly. He is very confident of his play.” He chuckled. “And he thinks of nothing else but tennis.”
You nodded quietly. “He can be Seigaku’s next pillar of support,” you said seriously.
To your surprise, he let out a low laugh. “You finally admit that you think of nothing else but tennis,” he said cheerfully.
You neither denied nor affirmed what he said. You just continued watching.
In those days, training for the tournament became the team’s top priority. Everyone trained hard. Even Inui, who had been displaced by Echizen in the intraschool rankings, helped. Inui formulated new training regimes as well as concocted more power juices. I suppose when Inui came to suggest testing the team’s stamina, you approved readily because you knew it would help.
During a long distance run before the prefectural tournaments, Inui introduced the Penal Tea and gave it to anyone who spent less than one minute per lap. After thirty or so laps, only the regulars remained. Inui placed another challenge by saying that the last who reached the finish line would have to drink the special veggie juice.
While the rest of the team ran ahead, fighting for first place, you heard him chuckle behind you. “Hmm… why does everyone put so much effort? That drink tastes good.” He chuckled again. “Why don’t you try it, Tezuka?”
Your brows probably twitched when you said, “No thanks.”
Inui was greatly disappointed when all the regular members reached the finish line at the same time. But you knew that the training did not end there.
“We will now be holding intrasquad matches. If your name is called, step onto the court,” you said in a commanding voice. “Fuji and Echizen, we’ll start off with you two!”
The club watched the match with anticipation. You too watched keenly, knowing that he and Echizen would challenge each other and help each other improve. Perhaps you even hoped that Echizen would be able to pull out his real strength.
The sky grew dark, however, and rain started to pour. Though he and Echizen were stubborn enough to stay and play, Ryuzaki-sensei told them off. You also wanted to see the end of the game, but accidents could happen because of the rain so despite your dissatisfaction, you told Echizen to take shade.
“Hey, Tezuka,” he called. He was wearing a thoughtful smile. “When you played with Echizen, was it like this with you too?”
“You knew all about it?” you asked. But you weren’t at all surprised that he knew about your secret match against Echizen.
“Yeah! I just had the feeling,” he replied.
“Then why didn’t you go all out?” you asked. You crossed your arms and gave his back a steely gaze.
He tilted his head but he did not answer.
“The match you had with Echizen just now… why didn’t you go all out for the victory?” you asked. You did not mind the rain. You thought that you needed to know why he wouldn’t show his true self. “It’s just as Inui said, Fuji. Your data cannot be collected,” you said slowly. Your voice was deep but it had a hint of disappointment. “Where is the real you?”
He stretched his left hand and felt the drops of rain trickle down his fingers. “Well… Tezuka, it seems that I have no motivation for victory.” His voice sounded hollow and his eyes were open. “Enjoying the thrill of drawing out an opponent’s potential to the limit… that was all I wanted.” He paused. “How about you, what is your motivation?”
“Victory, no matter the cost,” you said with a frankness that was almost brutal to him at that time. “Right now, the only thing on my mind is winning the national title.”
You caught his glance and you frowned a little. Perhaps you saw the flicker of sadness in his eyes. “If I become a hindrance… remove me as a member of the team,” he said quietly.
You strolled past him, leaving him to wonder if you were really going to do what he said.
Most of the shower stalls were occupied inside the clubroom. It seemed that nearly everyone was in a hurry to get cleaned up. Still drenched with rainwater, you waited by the door and watched him. He walked slowly towards the clubroom. His eyes were shut and he was smiling again. But you noted that he was pressing his lips tighter than usual.
“All the stalls are in use,” you told him when he reached the door. You held out a plain white towel and added, “Get dried for now.”
He accepted the towel with a murmur of thanks. Patting off the rain from his hair and his arms, he dropped to the bench. He still had an air of dejection about him.
You paced towards him and he looked up when he saw your shoes.
“I’m not going to remove you from the team,” you said truthfully. “You’ll be removed when you lose in a ranking match.”
“But if I don’t - “
“Don’t you want to reach the national tournament, Fuji?” you asked. Your eyes were staring straight at him, asking intently.
“I do,” he said. He hung the towel around his shoulders. “But not as much as you do.”
“That will do for now,” you told him. “Maybe you’ll show your true self at the right time.”
He did not respond.
He heard you release a sigh. “The team needs you, Fuji,” you said firmly.
The two of you waited till the last of the other members went out of the clubroom. Then, you entered separate shower stalls. He was quiet in the stall adjacent to yours whereas you usually heard his muffled humming during showers. Perhaps, you thought, he wasn’t quite convinced that he should stay in the club.
When you were done, you turned off the steamy shower and wrapped a towel around your waist. He stepped out of the stall minutes later. When he found you still undressed and waiting with arms crossed over your chest, he tilted his head in inquiry.
“Get dressed quickly,” you ordered. “Let’s have some tea on the way home.”
His lips spread to his usual cheerful smile. He nodded quietly.
You nodded your head too before you turned to get clean clothes.
oOo
As his lips opened slightly with the suspicion of a half-smile, I said to myself, again: “What moves me so deeply, about this little prince who is sleeping here, is his loyalty to a flower - the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep…” And I felt him to be more fragile still. I felt the need of protecting him, as if he himself were a flame that might be extinguished by a little puff of the wind… - The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupéry
oOo