I can honestly say that though I have been depressed in my lifetime, it has never reached this level, so I cannot completely comprehend what it is like to live with something like this
( ... )
Ah, Stan C... He's a local boy. He's made some monumental mistakes in his life, but I have a sneaking admiration for him as far as being honest about his depression is concerned.
I agree with him that there reaches a stage where general support has to turn into intervention. There have been two occasions when D has sat down with me and simply said, "I really think this has reached the stage where you need to see somebody." In some ways, knowing it was becoming a worry to him made it easier for me to go.
If you're at the point of feeling scared, then tell the person you are worried about. Keep it simple. Offer to make the appointment and go with them. Don't make it a debate if they don't reply. Give them a couple of hours to take it in (the depressed brain is like a buffering YouTube video on a bad connection) and then ask them gently when they want to go.
Not a stressor at all, my dear. Simply something that keeps coming up lately and I want to be sure I'm doing as much as humanly possible to be there for the people I care about.
Which is why I am often blithely pretending that I haven't noticed anything is wrong while at the same time shoving my shoulder in someone's face so they can find it if needed. It's a fine line to walk between being there and pushing.
I like the YouTube buffering analogy--I'll have to remember that one. *hugs you back*
People like to judge, Finn, especially in the “he/she had it all” category. Hasn’t our world become nothing but materialistic, in every tiny aspect? Where everything can be measured and estimated by…how much you have? How much you ARE seems not to be THAT important anymore… Everything, your success, your happiness, your level of self-fulfillment, all of it can be easily described by how much you have. And turning it all down in a blink of an eye is considered a blasphemy, isn’t it
( ... )
"I firmly believe that every suicide can be prevented - on one condition - that at this very crucial moment this person isn’t alone. Because it’s usually a moment - it’s all that it takes. People who want to commit a suicide may write goodbye letters and what not but I think they are somehow convinced that it’s not real and that nothing ‘final’ will really happen till it actually does…"
I firmly believe that every suicide can be prevented - on one condition - that at this very crucial moment this person isn’t alone. Because it’s usually a moment - it’s all that it takes. People who want to commit a suicide may write goodbye letters and what not but I think they are somehow convinced that it’s not real and that nothing ‘final’ will really happen till it actually does… I’m sure that if there was somebody with them they’d just shrug, look back and maybe even laugh…till the next time. I've been thinking about this for the past few hours
( ... )
absolutely couldn't agree more. it took me a long time really to get to terms with being ill myself because on the surface i too had everything - i come from a well to do background, i'm not living hand to mouth, my parents are nice, i went to posh schools etc. but that's all surface stuff, it doesn't make any difference to whether you get ill or not. and actually although it sounds kind of self centred to say it it almost makes it worse because you have the added guilt of being ill and no one can understand why. i have several friends who went through child abuse and/or poverty (or both and more) and i used to say to them i don't get it, how can this be valid when i haven't been through your crap and you're ok? it's not a nice situation.
i thought collymore's post was fantastic, i've not been a fan of him, but it really was great, and i tweeted to thank him for it.
i just hope this story encourages more informed thinking on this.
>>> Tweets took the expected turn: "we saw him yesterday afternoon - he wasn't depressed!" "He didn't look ill!" And of course, the perennial favourite, "he had everything, why would he take his own life."<<<
People who haven't been there really just don't get it :-( It doesn't seem logical to commit suicide when you're got an outwardly great life, but depression *ISN'T* logical!
And those comments really hurt. I still remember a friend saying to me, "How can you be depressed?!?! You've got a great life!" And it HURT! Unfortunately at that point I was asking myself the same unfair question, so her comment, frankly, made me feel even worse. Even knowing that it's a *physical* problem and not something I can battle with will power alone, when the demons have their hold on me and I *can't* think logically, the question comes up again in my mind. I'm lucky that treatment has made those episodes fewer and less severe, but they're never going to go away....
I've been hyper-stressed, I've been hyper-worried but I am lucky that I have never got to the level of any serious thoughts of suicide even thought life has sometimes looked extremely black to me. Real depression must be so hard to fight and sadly and tragically, some like Gary Speed, like the 16 year old neighbour of my parents, like countless many others, lose the battle. I wish there was a real cure for this dreadful illness. I wish all sufferers all the courage in the universe it takes to deal with it. Rest in Peace Gary. My prayers for others that they find a way to live in peace.
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I agree with him that there reaches a stage where general support has to turn into intervention. There have been two occasions when D has sat down with me and simply said, "I really think this has reached the stage where you need to see somebody." In some ways, knowing it was becoming a worry to him made it easier for me to go.
If you're at the point of feeling scared, then tell the person you are worried about. Keep it simple. Offer to make the appointment and go with them. Don't make it a debate if they don't reply. Give them a couple of hours to take it in (the depressed brain is like a buffering YouTube video on a bad connection) and then ask them gently when they want to go.
Sorry if this entry has stressed you. *Hugs*
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Which is why I am often blithely pretending that I haven't noticed anything is wrong while at the same time shoving my shoulder in someone's face so they can find it if needed. It's a fine line to walk between being there and pushing.
I like the YouTube buffering analogy--I'll have to remember that one. *hugs you back*
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I completely agree with this - 100%
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I've been thinking about this for the past few hours ( ... )
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i thought collymore's post was fantastic, i've not been a fan of him, but it really was great, and i tweeted to thank him for it.
i just hope this story encourages more informed thinking on this.
Reply
People who haven't been there really just don't get it :-( It doesn't seem logical to commit suicide when you're got an outwardly great life, but depression *ISN'T* logical!
And those comments really hurt. I still remember a friend saying to me, "How can you be depressed?!?! You've got a great life!" And it HURT! Unfortunately at that point I was asking myself the same unfair question, so her comment, frankly, made me feel even worse. Even knowing that it's a *physical* problem and not something I can battle with will power alone, when the demons have their hold on me and I *can't* think logically, the question comes up again in my mind. I'm lucky that treatment has made those episodes fewer and less severe, but they're never going to go away....
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Real depression must be so hard to fight and sadly and tragically, some like Gary Speed, like the 16 year old neighbour of my parents, like countless many others, lose the battle.
I wish there was a real cure for this dreadful illness.
I wish all sufferers all the courage in the universe it takes to deal with it.
Rest in Peace Gary. My prayers for others that they find a way to live in peace.
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