[chaptered fic] Differences Between Us II
comments always appreciated :)
Chapter 2
Yunho rubbed circles on Jaejoong’s back as he heaves into the toilet bowl. They had gone home shortly after his declaration and neither has said a word. Jaejoong had been unable to look straight into Yunho’s eyes, afraid to see his disappointment and desperate longing for Jaejoong to accept his condition.
Jaejoong opted for logical reasoning- “You’ll see me like this every day Yunho-ah. I’ll literally be sick for nine months, and when I finally give birth there’s a possibility I won’t even make it. Aren’t you afraid to lose me?” he said desperately.
“You’re the most important person in my life; I’d never wanna lose you Jaejoong-ah.” his features were drawn in anguish. He hadn’t exactly said a word against Jaejoong, but he figures his other half knows what’s on his mind.
“If I could I would bear this child for you.” Yunho added softly.
“But it’s not you is it!” Jaejoong snapped, the emotions bubbling inside him threatening to come out. “God dammit Yunho you don’t need to say anything, I know how much you want a child but I just can’t-“ his voice quivered and he choked on a sob.
“I know,” he pulled Jaejoong into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Just think about it Jaejoong-ah, please. For our sake.”
Jaejoong only managed to nod, and the two men stayed like that on the cold bathroom tile.
--
He sat on the couch, staring at his stomach that would grow very soon, thousands of assumptions going on in his head of things that could possibly happen. He hasn’t been able to go to work, his mind and body still on shock from his new condition. He needed to talk to someone besides Yunho about this, someone who would understand…
“Noona?”
--
Hyo Joo was his closest sister out of eight; she seemed happily married with two children thus Jaejoong hoped talking to her would do some good - until she laughed out loud at his statement.
“You’ve always been a funny boy since you were small, dong-saengah. I could use the laugh, thank you.” She covered her smile with her hand, a trait well adopted in Kim’s family.
When Jaejoong’s expression stayed serious, Hyo Joo slowly got the message.
“Oh God, JaeJae.”
“I’m in such dilemma.” he groaned, face twisting into a painful expression.
“Yunho must be elated?”
“He was, until I told him I didn’t want this.” he stated flatly.
“You WHAT? How could you, this is a miracle! Do you know how many couples are desperate to have a child? Surrogates, adoption? You are having one of your own blood and you refuse it?” Hyo Joo went on a full-blabber mode.
“It’s not about that noona. I…I don’t think I could bear the suffering of being pregnant. My health hasn’t always been at prime, you know that. I know I’m being selfish, but I’m just… so afraid.” his voice turned on a whisper. “I’m so scared of doing this.”
His sister listened sympathetically, “I understand where you’re coming from Jaejoong-ah. I know it’s not easy to deal with. It may be a painful experience to go through for nine months,” she paused, ” but have you ever thought about what comes after? You’re going to be a father. You’ll have a little Yunjae to fill the family for the rest of your life with Yunho. And, think of how happy he will be.” she reached out for his hand, smiling warmly.
As much as he hated it, his sister was right. Can he afford be that selfless? He remembered the enthusiasm on Yunho’s face whenever he talks about adoption, how his features light up whenever they come across a cute baby, how well he treats their niece and nephews whenever they visit.
He couldn’t be the one to destroy that dream.
“Maybe… I’ll give it a try,” Jaejoong smiled hopefully. “Thanks noona, you’re the best.”
On the way home he felt a little light-headed, his body more tired than usual even though he didn’t do much for the day. He figured being pregnant means letting go of his daily habits as well, his love for cigarettes and alcohol going down the drain. The crazy cravings, the mood swings, moreover pains he has to bear with everyday. His noona has told him all about her pregnancy stories right after he almost agreed.
Feeling nauseated by the thoughts, he pulled over and stopped his car for a moment. He rested his head on the steering wheel, when his mobile started to vibrate.
--
“A BABY?” Yoochun’s expression was easy to picture, even on the phone.
A pregnant silence stretched out between them.
“Why are you being so quiet Chunnie.”
“Ahh nothing, I’m just shocked that’s all…” he cleared his throat, “you’ve never liked kids Jae.”
“I know, I was against it at first-“
“- then why change your mind?” Yoochun reprimanded.
“Because it’s Yunnie.”
That endearing nickname alone made Yoochun’s stomach lurch. Being in love with your ex-best friend really didn’t make things easier.
“Have you thought about this through?”
“Of course…” Jae said uncertainly, trying to convince both of them.
“Joongie, please reconsider. I don’t know how well male handles pregnancy but I’m pretty sure it won’t be a piece of cake. I don’t wanna see you in pain all the time. And, I especially don’t want you to sacrifice yourself like that just to make him happy.”
Jaejoong was speechless. Frustrated, he hung up and continued to drive home, speeding faster than usual.
--
“Honey?” a familiar concerned voice greeted him.
“Hhmm,” he answered dazedly.
“Are you okay? You don’t usually take naps.”
“When did you get home?”
“Just now.”
He opened his eyes, “I really feel like a smoke Yunnie.”
Yunho smiled apologetically, squeezing his hand.
“Hey, I went to talk to Dr. Shim…” he said softly.
Jaejoong lifted his brow in a questioning gaze.
--
“Sorry to come without making appointments beforehand.”
“That’s quite alright Mr Jung. Please, call me Changmin.” His patient looked quite nervous.
“I’m Yunho,” he smiled. ”I’d like to ask about the risks and possibilities of my husband conceiving this child. There’s nothing that pains me more than seeing him in pain all the time…”
“If you’re talking about the usual symptoms such as morning sickness or fatigue problems, it’s most definitely normal Yunho-sshi. However seeing that your husband is a male, the symptoms he bears will be heavier than the case in most females. I understand your concern about his health, but I must say it is unavoidable if you choose to keep this baby.”
Yunho hestitated for a moment. “Will there … be a chance of me losing him in the end?”
Yunho knows he is being naïve, but Jaejoong’s words earlier struck deep within him. He’d much rather throw away his one dream than to lose the love of his life.
“It is possible since his risks are higher,” Dr Shim continued as Yunho unconsciously balled his fist, “but with proper care and medication it can be prevented. Let me show you something to further consider..”
Chapter 2
Yunho rubbed circles on Jaejoong’s back as he heaves into the toilet bowl. They had gone home shortly after his declaration and neither has said a word. Jaejoong had been unable to look straight into Yunho’s eyes, afraid to see his disappointment and desperate longing for Jaejoong to accept his condition.
Jaejoong opted for logical reasoning- “You’ll see me like this every day Yunho-ah. I’ll literally be sick for nine months, and when I finally give birth there’s a possibility I won’t even make it. Aren’t you afraid to lose me?” he said desperately.
“You’re the most important person in my life; I’d never wanna lose you Jaejoong-ah.” his features were drawn in anguish. He hadn’t exactly said a word against Jaejoong, but he figures his other half knows what’s on his mind.
“If I could I would bear this child for you.” Yunho added softly.
“But it’s not you is it!” Jaejoong snapped, the emotions bubbling inside him threatening to come out. “God dammit Yunho you don’t need to say anything, I know how much you want a child but I just can’t-“ his voice quivered and he choked on a sob.
“I know,” he pulled Jaejoong into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Just think about it Jaejoong-ah, please. For our sake.”
Jaejoong only managed to nod, and the two men stayed like that on the cold bathroom tile.
--
He sat on the couch, staring at his stomach that would grow very soon, thousands of assumptions going on in his head of things that could possibly happen. He hasn’t been able to go to work, his mind and body still on shock from his new condition. He needed to talk to someone besides Yunho about this, someone who would understand…
“Noona?”
--
Hyo Joo was his closest sister out of eight; she seemed happily married with two children thus Jaejoong hoped talking to her would do some good - until she laughed out loud at his statement.
“You’ve always been a funny boy since you were small, dong-saengah. I could use the laugh, thank you.” She covered her smile with her hand, a trait well adopted in Kim’s family.
When Jaejoong’s expression stayed serious, Hyo Joo slowly got the message.
“Oh God, JaeJae.”
“I’m in such dilemma.” he groaned, face twisting into a painful expression.
“Yunho must be elated?”
“He was, until I told him I didn’t want this.” he stated flatly.
“You WHAT? How could you, this is a miracle! Do you know how many couples are desperate to have a child? Surrogates, adoption? You are having one of your own blood and you refuse it?” Hyo Joo went on a full-blabber mode.
“It’s not about that noona. I…I don’t think I could bear the suffering of being pregnant. My health hasn’t always been at prime, you know that. I know I’m being selfish, but I’m just… so afraid.” his voice turned on a whisper. “I’m so scared of doing this.”
His sister listened sympathetically, “I understand where you’re coming from Jaejoong-ah. I know it’s not easy to deal with. It may be a painful experience to go through for nine months,” she paused, ” but have you ever thought about what comes after? You’re going to be a father. You’ll have a little Yunjae to fill the family for the rest of your life with Yunho. And, think of how happy he will be.” she reached out for his hand, smiling warmly.
As much as he hated it, his sister was right. Can he afford be that selfless? He remembered the enthusiasm on Yunho’s face whenever he talks about adoption, how his features light up whenever they come across a cute baby, how well he treats their niece and nephews whenever they visit.
He couldn’t be the one to destroy that dream.
“Maybe… I’ll give it a try,” Jaejoong smiled hopefully. “Thanks noona, you’re the best.”
On the way home he felt a little light-headed, his body more tired than usual even though he didn’t do much for the day. He figured being pregnant means letting go of his daily habits as well, his love for cigarettes and alcohol going down the drain. The crazy cravings, the mood swings, moreover pains he has to bear with everyday. His noona has told him all about her pregnancy stories right after he almost agreed.
Feeling nauseated by the thoughts, he pulled over and stopped his car for a moment. He rested his head on the steering wheel, when his mobile started to vibrate.
--
“A BABY?” Yoochun’s expression was easy to picture, even on the phone.
A pregnant silence stretched out between them.
“Why are you being so quiet Chunnie.”
“Ahh nothing, I’m just shocked that’s all…” he cleared his throat, “you’ve never liked kids Jae.”
“I know, I was against it at first-“
“- then why change your mind?” Yoochun reprimanded.
“Because it’s Yunnie.”
That endearing nickname alone made Yoochun’s stomach lurch. Being in love with your ex-best friend really didn’t make things easier.
“Have you thought about this through?”
“Of course…” Jae said uncertainly, trying to convince both of them.
“Joongie, please reconsider. I don’t know how well male handles pregnancy but I’m pretty sure it won’t be a piece of cake. I don’t wanna see you in pain all the time. And, I especially don’t want you to sacrifice yourself like that just to make him happy.”
Jaejoong was speechless. Frustrated, he hung up and continued to drive home, speeding faster than usual.
--
“Honey?” a familiar concerned voice greeted him.
“Hhmm,” he answered dazedly.
“Are you okay? You don’t usually take naps.”
“When did you get home?”
“Just now.”
He opened his eyes, “I really feel like a smoke Yunnie.”
Yunho smiled apologetically, squeezing his hand.
“Hey, I went to talk to Dr. Shim…” he said softly.
Jaejoong lifted his brow in a questioning gaze.
--
“Sorry to come without making appointments beforehand.”
“That’s quite alright Mr Jung. Please, call me Changmin.” His patient looked quite nervous.
“I’m Yunho,” he smiled. ”I’d like to ask about the risks and possibilities of my husband conceiving this child. There’s nothing that pains me more than seeing him in pain all the time…”
“If you’re talking about the usual symptoms such as morning sickness or fatigue problems, it’s most definitely normal Yunho-sshi. However seeing that your husband is a male, the symptoms he bears will be heavier than the case in most females. I understand your concern about his health, but I must say it is unavoidable if you choose to keep this baby.”
Yunho hestitated for a moment. “Will there … be a chance of me losing him in the end?”
Yunho knows he is being naïve, but Jaejoong’s words earlier struck deep within him. He’d much rather throw away his one dream than to lose the love of his life.
“It is possible since his risks are higher,” Dr Shim continued as Yunho unconsciously balled his fist, “but with proper care and medication it can be prevented. Let me show you something to further consider..”