Brick By Brick
Title: Brick by Brick
Rating: T
Genre: Kind of angsty?
Wordcount: 2,564
Spoilers: I cannot spoil something that doesn't exists.
Warnings: Darren has a girlfriend.
Summary: Chris Colfer doesn't want to admit that he has feelings for his co-worker, and if he does, he pretends to keep them as a secret. The thing is, for how long?
N/A: Hey guys! Another RPF here, This one's a little on the angsty side so you're warned. I hope you enjoy!
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part 1: I know it's all in my head.
Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all.
Chris felt guilty. It wasn't part of the plan, any of it. Nothing that had happened in the few months that they spent together was supposed to happen. They barely knew each other and there they were, playing on-screen boyfriends, spending never-ending studio hours together, rehearsing, singing, recording, going and making history.
But Chris was sure the time they spent together never meant the same to Darren as it did to Chris.
A week after the kiss they had a press conference where they were all supposed to show up. Ryan and Brad made the call and the group gathered together to be there in time, stuffing up the limo with booze that Mark had bought earlier that day and they were all sitting inside the gigantic vehicle, making a fool out of themselves while Chris watched, laughing out loud at their co-worker's occurrences.
Darren, for some reason, was awfully quiet. Nobody was talking to him unless they cracked a joke about maybe one of his scenes, the climbing furniture part of them and the funny faces he did while performing onstage. But Chris was sure something was wrong with Darren since he entered the limousine, he was just… he felt wrong.
But there were a whole lot of people sitting between them, and even though Chris felt he had the urge to talk to Darren and ask him what was wrong, he kept it inside until they reached the place of the conference, where Ryan and Brad were already waiting for them and gave them instructions about the spoilers and the information they should be delivering and the questions that they were going to answer.
He saw it, then. Darren was fidgeting with his cell phone, looking intently at it like he was expecting it to do something, the phone vibrating and his face lighting up and then getting dark again. His eyes got misty and sad; Darren grabbed his cell phone and stuffed it inside his back pocket while shaking his head with apparent anger.
What the hell was that about? Chris thought; not sure if the curiosity was healthy or even polite, but he was worried, also.
Anyhow, he was supposed to be paying attention to Brad's instructions while the security guards told them to wait over there while the rest of the people that were going to show up to the conference did.
"And Naya and Heather will sit together as always. Darren will be next to Heather."
"I'm sorry; I missed the part where you told me where my seat was?" Chris asked, getting closer to Brad trying to listen.
"You're sitting next to Cory." Brad answered, looking at his nails and then looking at Ryan, who was playing with his hat.
"Why am I not allowed sitting next to Darren?" He asked, not actually thinking straight about the situation and the way his question sounded more like a whine.
"Do you want to raise suspicion, Chris? I'm sorry, there will be pictures taken of you two together but I don't want the public to think that you guys are actually dating. There will be plenty questions about how was the kiss, who kissed who, how you guys felt about it and, to be honest, if you guys are all friendly with each other people will think that you are indeed together. I know - and we all- know, that you guys are not together, and that Darren is straight. But the thing is that if we're not careful enough, the tabloids might eat us. Just as they tend to make up stories about Lea and Dianna, they can do the same to you guys."
Lea nodded and so did Dianna; both were dealing with a couple of pictures that were leaked to a website where Lea was holding Dianna tightly by her shoulders and looking at her intensely in the eyes. They were probably talking or something, but the crazy tabloids wrote that they had a date that day and they were going to kiss afterwards. Of course, said kiss never existed, and the story was proven false, but there were a few nasty comments and there was enough pressure over them already.
Darren looked serious while Brad gave his explanation and shrugged after the end of it, looking neither pleased nor sad at all. He had like a blank expression that was making Chris feel exasperated.
Anyway, Chris didn't complain further about their seats, not because he didn't care but because he noticed how distracted and unfocused Darren was acting; so he let it go and hold it inside him until they were done with the conference.
Since he was sitting next to Cory, the rest of the press conference went smooth and funny, even. Cory was cracking jokes and so was he, forgetting completely about Darren's absence of mind. Actually, it seemed like the rest of the people in the conference did just that as well, because they didn't ask much questions to Darren, just a couple of ridiculous ones like a GAP stores related one and then another about his erratic sleeping schedule while he was filming Silly Love Songs and recording When I Get You Alone.
When they were deep within conversation with one of the reporters, Chris accidentally let a spoiler about his return to McKinley slip his tongue, but everyone took it so lightly that they started laughing uncontrollably and Chris was just laughing and blushing and feeling embarrassed, made a quirky retort along the lines of: "Oh, like you didn't know!" and saw that the atmosphere for Darren changed a lot since they started asking all the questions to Chris, because he was laughing and clapping his hands. The rest of the cast resumed the spoiler issue not saying anything further and Chris watched Darren get relaxed and started cracking jokes with Heather, and he seemed to stay like that for the rest of the conference. Chris was actually glad that he was the one who did that to Darren, so he just stopped worrying.
When they got out of the conference there were a few reporters waiting outside. It was an important week, since everyone wanted a scoop on the big and long-awaited kiss and the regional competition that New Direction won. They were joking about who was a better kisser, and he once overheard Darren answer something like: "Tehee, I'm kissing Chris Colfer and everyone's going to freak out!" and laughed out loud during his own interview. They exchanged glances and smiled at each other when this happened, Darren waving and then resuming his interview with the anxious reporter who seemed to be enjoying the topic a lot.
The interviews were over in a few seconds, anyway, because the press conference seemed more than enough for the reporter to get the scoops they needed, and they returned to the hotel afterwards, making fun of Chris, mostly because of his spoiler slipping-issue.
"Dude, Ryan's going to murder you!" Cory chuckled, elbowing him in the ribs and making Chris flinch a little bumping into Darren who sat next to him for the ride back.
"He's not, Ryan loves him." Darren replied, shooting a dazzling smile towards Chris's direction that send a shiver down the younger man's spine. Lea joined the conversation and then they just sort of changed topics as for what they wanted to do after they arrived at the hotel, apparently most of the cast wanted to go to a club and enjoy themselves, but Chris was never a party person and they actually preferred not taking him along because of his easily-recognizable voice and face, they didn't wanted a flood of fans ruining their fun. So Chris decided to stay at the hotel once they arrived, fixing his scarf nervously while taking the elevator back to his room. He shared the room with Chord, Mark and Cory and Darren's room was in front of his, so they got back to their rooms to get fixed for going out again and at the last minute, when Harry was going in and out of the room because he thought he left his telephone in the limo, Chris felt Darren knocking on the door and entering quietly.
"I don't want to go out tonight, either. Do you mind if I join you and we watch a movie together or something?" Cory whistled lightly and patted Darren on the back before exiting the room, Mark had already left.
"Take care of my man, okay?" Cory said, before exiting completely.
Darren chuckled and so did Chris, but Darren stood in the same position he was before Chris granted him permission to enter.
"Then why are you so stiff? Come sit here with me." Chris asked, patting the empty side of the sofa he was leaning against, resting his tired limbs of the long night. Darren nodded and walked towards the seat, cracking his back with harsh movements before sitting down and sighing.
"I'm so tired."
"So am I" Chris answered, smiling a little because Darren made him jump because of how hard he let himself fall on the couch.
They settled into a brief silence, only interrupted by the sounds of their breathings. Chris was debating himself whether he should ask Darren or not. He was still worried, and even though he knew what could've happened, he wanted to comfort the boy who was sitting beside him because Darren was his friend.
Chris shifted a little on the couch and moved his hands on his thighs before clearing his throat to speak.
"Darren, I know something was happening before the conference… Is everything alright?" He asked; trying not to talk loudly but in a soft whisper that made Darren feel secure.
He felt Darren shift uncomfortably right then. Chris slapped himself inside his head.
"If you don't want to tell me its fine, I was just worried."
Darren stood up and got his hand into his back pocket to retrieve his cell phone.
"I do. It's just…" He sighed. "It's annoying, Chris. Let me…" He pushed some buttons on the phone and gave it to Chris.
"May I?" Chris asked, feeling awkward because Darren was giving him his cell phone. Darren waved his hands toward him so he could get the idea that he wanted him to read out loud.
"Baby, I don't know where this is going. I barely see you anymore. I think we should break up and take a time to meet other people." The text message was sent by a girl named Maya. Darren's girlfriend since Chris met him, as Chris recalled. Darren made a gesture for Chris to keep reading.
"I wanted to see you yesterday but you never showed up." He read another message from Maya.
Then, he saw the response from Darren.
"That's because I was flying on a plane…? You knew I was going to be busy this weekend."
"I don't know, Darren. We should really call it quits. Good bye." And then the stream of messages came to an end.
"I was talking to her while we were entering the press conference. She doesn't even understand how busy I've been since I started on Glee. And now she just dumped me and…"
Chris saw the anger bursting out of Darren's pores. He felt the same way, to be honest. First of all, the girl belonged to an indie band that was just starting to get noticed, so she had a lot of free time; unlike Darren, who barely even had time to sleep.
"You know what? It's okay. She'll probably regret it once she sees how an amazing on-screen boyfriend you are to Kurt." He giggled, waving it away, and Darren started laughing so hard his stomach started hurting.
But Chris wasn't feeling as gleeful as he was showing. He was actually angry, thinking about the girl who didn't appreciate Darren's effort into becoming more recognized and big in the business. Darren, the one with the dreams and the voice and the talent who was going to make it big in Hollywood, breaking his ass just to do everything right, working and studying and not sleeping because he wanted this so badly. Darren, this Darren.
He deserved something much better than that. Chris knew it.
"Chris? Thanks, man. I really needed a friend today and there you were. I'm sorry if I zoned out during your outburst to Brad but he's right, man. Lea and Dianna are not having a blast about the whole tabloid issue."
"Yeah, I know. But it's not fair." He sighed a little, shaking his head. "It's not fair that because I'm gay and you're straight they think that I'm… You know."
"Out there trying to get in my pants?" Darren joked, and Chris smiled, but it was a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.
"Yeah. Something like that."
Darren fell asleep next to him a couple of hours later. His head was resting on his shoulder and his body was positioned in a very awkward angle on top of the couch.
Chris was having trouble accepting the facts: The people around him didn't know the ultimate truth, and it was that he was really into Darren Criss since the very beginning.
He showed up with his dazzling smile and his sense of humor and his eyes. Chris couldn't help it. He knew it was wrong, he knew he was overstepping, he knew. But he couldn't help it.
And that's why he felt angry about Maya. When Darren introduced her, he didn't know it was going to end like this. With Darren being angry and misunderstood, like a lost child looking for acceptance; he told Chris before falling asleep over and over again, "Do you think I did wrong? Should I have gone see her and everything could be alright again? I could have avoided this, could I?"
No. Darren didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't something that could've been avoided. Maya was selfish and didn't understand the greatness that was Darren. The big shot he was becoming, the talent, the voice, the everything that was Darren Criss. She couldn't cope with the distance and the longing. Long-distance relationships often tended to end like this, so it wasn't a big surprise.
Darren deserved better. But it wasn't going to be Chris. It would never be Chris.
Darren woke up a few minutes later with a yelp. He was having a nightmare. Chris fell asleep shortly after as well, so he was resting his head over Darren's, and when Darren woke up, Chris fell flatly over Darren's lap but he didn't wake up. Darren smiled at this, running his right hand through his hair. It was so soft.
Chris shifted a little and his hand was starting to grab Darren's shirt tightly. He seemed to be dreaming, and he was mumbling little nonsensical things between his rosy lips. Darren was bewildered. He never had seen Chris sleeping, and he certainly looked like something out of a mythical story. Like an angel or a fairy, or a nymph. Something that indeed was as beautiful as Chris.
"You deserve better." He heard Chris whisper, and smiled. Chris was probably dreaming about what happened between Maya and him.
"I know." He whispered back, even though he knew Chris' erratic sleeping habits so he was aware that Chris probably didn't hear him.
TBC.
Yeah, the lyrics at the beginning are from my favourite song from a band I love called The Killers. And the song is called Mr Brightside which kept playing on my head when I started to give a context to this idea.
Part II
Rating: T
Genre: Kind of angsty?
Wordcount: 2,564
Spoilers: I cannot spoil something that doesn't exists.
Warnings: Darren has a girlfriend.
Summary: Chris Colfer doesn't want to admit that he has feelings for his co-worker, and if he does, he pretends to keep them as a secret. The thing is, for how long?
N/A: Hey guys! Another RPF here, This one's a little on the angsty side so you're warned. I hope you enjoy!
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part 1: I know it's all in my head.
Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down, because I want it all.
Chris felt guilty. It wasn't part of the plan, any of it. Nothing that had happened in the few months that they spent together was supposed to happen. They barely knew each other and there they were, playing on-screen boyfriends, spending never-ending studio hours together, rehearsing, singing, recording, going and making history.
But Chris was sure the time they spent together never meant the same to Darren as it did to Chris.
A week after the kiss they had a press conference where they were all supposed to show up. Ryan and Brad made the call and the group gathered together to be there in time, stuffing up the limo with booze that Mark had bought earlier that day and they were all sitting inside the gigantic vehicle, making a fool out of themselves while Chris watched, laughing out loud at their co-worker's occurrences.
Darren, for some reason, was awfully quiet. Nobody was talking to him unless they cracked a joke about maybe one of his scenes, the climbing furniture part of them and the funny faces he did while performing onstage. But Chris was sure something was wrong with Darren since he entered the limousine, he was just… he felt wrong.
But there were a whole lot of people sitting between them, and even though Chris felt he had the urge to talk to Darren and ask him what was wrong, he kept it inside until they reached the place of the conference, where Ryan and Brad were already waiting for them and gave them instructions about the spoilers and the information they should be delivering and the questions that they were going to answer.
He saw it, then. Darren was fidgeting with his cell phone, looking intently at it like he was expecting it to do something, the phone vibrating and his face lighting up and then getting dark again. His eyes got misty and sad; Darren grabbed his cell phone and stuffed it inside his back pocket while shaking his head with apparent anger.
What the hell was that about? Chris thought; not sure if the curiosity was healthy or even polite, but he was worried, also.
Anyhow, he was supposed to be paying attention to Brad's instructions while the security guards told them to wait over there while the rest of the people that were going to show up to the conference did.
"And Naya and Heather will sit together as always. Darren will be next to Heather."
"I'm sorry; I missed the part where you told me where my seat was?" Chris asked, getting closer to Brad trying to listen.
"You're sitting next to Cory." Brad answered, looking at his nails and then looking at Ryan, who was playing with his hat.
"Why am I not allowed sitting next to Darren?" He asked, not actually thinking straight about the situation and the way his question sounded more like a whine.
"Do you want to raise suspicion, Chris? I'm sorry, there will be pictures taken of you two together but I don't want the public to think that you guys are actually dating. There will be plenty questions about how was the kiss, who kissed who, how you guys felt about it and, to be honest, if you guys are all friendly with each other people will think that you are indeed together. I know - and we all- know, that you guys are not together, and that Darren is straight. But the thing is that if we're not careful enough, the tabloids might eat us. Just as they tend to make up stories about Lea and Dianna, they can do the same to you guys."
Lea nodded and so did Dianna; both were dealing with a couple of pictures that were leaked to a website where Lea was holding Dianna tightly by her shoulders and looking at her intensely in the eyes. They were probably talking or something, but the crazy tabloids wrote that they had a date that day and they were going to kiss afterwards. Of course, said kiss never existed, and the story was proven false, but there were a few nasty comments and there was enough pressure over them already.
Darren looked serious while Brad gave his explanation and shrugged after the end of it, looking neither pleased nor sad at all. He had like a blank expression that was making Chris feel exasperated.
Anyway, Chris didn't complain further about their seats, not because he didn't care but because he noticed how distracted and unfocused Darren was acting; so he let it go and hold it inside him until they were done with the conference.
Since he was sitting next to Cory, the rest of the press conference went smooth and funny, even. Cory was cracking jokes and so was he, forgetting completely about Darren's absence of mind. Actually, it seemed like the rest of the people in the conference did just that as well, because they didn't ask much questions to Darren, just a couple of ridiculous ones like a GAP stores related one and then another about his erratic sleeping schedule while he was filming Silly Love Songs and recording When I Get You Alone.
When they were deep within conversation with one of the reporters, Chris accidentally let a spoiler about his return to McKinley slip his tongue, but everyone took it so lightly that they started laughing uncontrollably and Chris was just laughing and blushing and feeling embarrassed, made a quirky retort along the lines of: "Oh, like you didn't know!" and saw that the atmosphere for Darren changed a lot since they started asking all the questions to Chris, because he was laughing and clapping his hands. The rest of the cast resumed the spoiler issue not saying anything further and Chris watched Darren get relaxed and started cracking jokes with Heather, and he seemed to stay like that for the rest of the conference. Chris was actually glad that he was the one who did that to Darren, so he just stopped worrying.
When they got out of the conference there were a few reporters waiting outside. It was an important week, since everyone wanted a scoop on the big and long-awaited kiss and the regional competition that New Direction won. They were joking about who was a better kisser, and he once overheard Darren answer something like: "Tehee, I'm kissing Chris Colfer and everyone's going to freak out!" and laughed out loud during his own interview. They exchanged glances and smiled at each other when this happened, Darren waving and then resuming his interview with the anxious reporter who seemed to be enjoying the topic a lot.
The interviews were over in a few seconds, anyway, because the press conference seemed more than enough for the reporter to get the scoops they needed, and they returned to the hotel afterwards, making fun of Chris, mostly because of his spoiler slipping-issue.
"Dude, Ryan's going to murder you!" Cory chuckled, elbowing him in the ribs and making Chris flinch a little bumping into Darren who sat next to him for the ride back.
"He's not, Ryan loves him." Darren replied, shooting a dazzling smile towards Chris's direction that send a shiver down the younger man's spine. Lea joined the conversation and then they just sort of changed topics as for what they wanted to do after they arrived at the hotel, apparently most of the cast wanted to go to a club and enjoy themselves, but Chris was never a party person and they actually preferred not taking him along because of his easily-recognizable voice and face, they didn't wanted a flood of fans ruining their fun. So Chris decided to stay at the hotel once they arrived, fixing his scarf nervously while taking the elevator back to his room. He shared the room with Chord, Mark and Cory and Darren's room was in front of his, so they got back to their rooms to get fixed for going out again and at the last minute, when Harry was going in and out of the room because he thought he left his telephone in the limo, Chris felt Darren knocking on the door and entering quietly.
"I don't want to go out tonight, either. Do you mind if I join you and we watch a movie together or something?" Cory whistled lightly and patted Darren on the back before exiting the room, Mark had already left.
"Take care of my man, okay?" Cory said, before exiting completely.
Darren chuckled and so did Chris, but Darren stood in the same position he was before Chris granted him permission to enter.
"Then why are you so stiff? Come sit here with me." Chris asked, patting the empty side of the sofa he was leaning against, resting his tired limbs of the long night. Darren nodded and walked towards the seat, cracking his back with harsh movements before sitting down and sighing.
"I'm so tired."
"So am I" Chris answered, smiling a little because Darren made him jump because of how hard he let himself fall on the couch.
They settled into a brief silence, only interrupted by the sounds of their breathings. Chris was debating himself whether he should ask Darren or not. He was still worried, and even though he knew what could've happened, he wanted to comfort the boy who was sitting beside him because Darren was his friend.
Chris shifted a little on the couch and moved his hands on his thighs before clearing his throat to speak.
"Darren, I know something was happening before the conference… Is everything alright?" He asked; trying not to talk loudly but in a soft whisper that made Darren feel secure.
He felt Darren shift uncomfortably right then. Chris slapped himself inside his head.
"If you don't want to tell me its fine, I was just worried."
Darren stood up and got his hand into his back pocket to retrieve his cell phone.
"I do. It's just…" He sighed. "It's annoying, Chris. Let me…" He pushed some buttons on the phone and gave it to Chris.
"May I?" Chris asked, feeling awkward because Darren was giving him his cell phone. Darren waved his hands toward him so he could get the idea that he wanted him to read out loud.
"Baby, I don't know where this is going. I barely see you anymore. I think we should break up and take a time to meet other people." The text message was sent by a girl named Maya. Darren's girlfriend since Chris met him, as Chris recalled. Darren made a gesture for Chris to keep reading.
"I wanted to see you yesterday but you never showed up." He read another message from Maya.
Then, he saw the response from Darren.
"That's because I was flying on a plane…? You knew I was going to be busy this weekend."
"I don't know, Darren. We should really call it quits. Good bye." And then the stream of messages came to an end.
"I was talking to her while we were entering the press conference. She doesn't even understand how busy I've been since I started on Glee. And now she just dumped me and…"
Chris saw the anger bursting out of Darren's pores. He felt the same way, to be honest. First of all, the girl belonged to an indie band that was just starting to get noticed, so she had a lot of free time; unlike Darren, who barely even had time to sleep.
"You know what? It's okay. She'll probably regret it once she sees how an amazing on-screen boyfriend you are to Kurt." He giggled, waving it away, and Darren started laughing so hard his stomach started hurting.
But Chris wasn't feeling as gleeful as he was showing. He was actually angry, thinking about the girl who didn't appreciate Darren's effort into becoming more recognized and big in the business. Darren, the one with the dreams and the voice and the talent who was going to make it big in Hollywood, breaking his ass just to do everything right, working and studying and not sleeping because he wanted this so badly. Darren, this Darren.
He deserved something much better than that. Chris knew it.
"Chris? Thanks, man. I really needed a friend today and there you were. I'm sorry if I zoned out during your outburst to Brad but he's right, man. Lea and Dianna are not having a blast about the whole tabloid issue."
"Yeah, I know. But it's not fair." He sighed a little, shaking his head. "It's not fair that because I'm gay and you're straight they think that I'm… You know."
"Out there trying to get in my pants?" Darren joked, and Chris smiled, but it was a smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.
"Yeah. Something like that."
Darren fell asleep next to him a couple of hours later. His head was resting on his shoulder and his body was positioned in a very awkward angle on top of the couch.
Chris was having trouble accepting the facts: The people around him didn't know the ultimate truth, and it was that he was really into Darren Criss since the very beginning.
He showed up with his dazzling smile and his sense of humor and his eyes. Chris couldn't help it. He knew it was wrong, he knew he was overstepping, he knew. But he couldn't help it.
And that's why he felt angry about Maya. When Darren introduced her, he didn't know it was going to end like this. With Darren being angry and misunderstood, like a lost child looking for acceptance; he told Chris before falling asleep over and over again, "Do you think I did wrong? Should I have gone see her and everything could be alright again? I could have avoided this, could I?"
No. Darren didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't something that could've been avoided. Maya was selfish and didn't understand the greatness that was Darren. The big shot he was becoming, the talent, the voice, the everything that was Darren Criss. She couldn't cope with the distance and the longing. Long-distance relationships often tended to end like this, so it wasn't a big surprise.
Darren deserved better. But it wasn't going to be Chris. It would never be Chris.
Darren woke up a few minutes later with a yelp. He was having a nightmare. Chris fell asleep shortly after as well, so he was resting his head over Darren's, and when Darren woke up, Chris fell flatly over Darren's lap but he didn't wake up. Darren smiled at this, running his right hand through his hair. It was so soft.
Chris shifted a little and his hand was starting to grab Darren's shirt tightly. He seemed to be dreaming, and he was mumbling little nonsensical things between his rosy lips. Darren was bewildered. He never had seen Chris sleeping, and he certainly looked like something out of a mythical story. Like an angel or a fairy, or a nymph. Something that indeed was as beautiful as Chris.
"You deserve better." He heard Chris whisper, and smiled. Chris was probably dreaming about what happened between Maya and him.
"I know." He whispered back, even though he knew Chris' erratic sleeping habits so he was aware that Chris probably didn't hear him.
TBC.
Yeah, the lyrics at the beginning are from my favourite song from a band I love called The Killers. And the song is called Mr Brightside which kept playing on my head when I started to give a context to this idea.
Part II