AnyaFicathon - When Not Invited to Fight an Apocalypse...
Title: When Not Invited to Fight an Apocalypse...
Author: viciouswishes
Beta: lamort
For: netgirl_y2k
Setting: S4 between “Yoko Factor” and “Primeval”
Rating: PG
Pairing: Anya/Tara
Requests: Strawberry flavored lip balm
Notes: For the Anya Ficathon.
“Do you think that they’ll make up?” Anya asked Tara, joining her at a table in the Espresso Pump. She sipped her latté.
“I hope so,” Tara said, a small smile creeping on her face. “I really don’t understand what happened. But they seem to be getting along.”
“Yeah,” Anya snorted, “until Adam comes along and chops them into body parts for his demon hybrid army.”
“You don’t think...” Tara stopped. “Willow,” she whispered and started to cry. People were beginning to look at them.
“Oh now don’t do that.” Anya moved closer to her. “Come on,” she said while patting Tara on the arm. “I’m sure they’ll be just fine. Buffy is the Slayer after all.” Anya paused. “Anyway, Xander owes me from that bet that he lost. He’ll be back.”
“Bet?” Tara asked. She removed a strand on blonde hair from in front of her face.
“Well, you know how clueless Xander can be,” Anya started.
Tara nodded her head. “Once he thought that an ornithologist was a woman’s doctor.” She giggled, her head titling toward the floor.
Anya looked at her strangely. “So anyway,” she cleared her throat, “I think that this possibly apocalypse calls for a little fun. Let Buffy and company fight Adam in their last moments. Let’s do something for ourselves.”
“What should we do?” Tara asked. She was attempting not to think of Willow and the danger that she might be in.
“How about we do some shopping,” she suggested. “A little capitalistic adventure is more up my alley than demon fighting. And if the world does end, we won’t have to pay the credit card bills.” Anya smiled and picked up her purse. “Come along.”
“Okay,” Tara agreed and slung her school bag over her shoulder.
They walked out of the Espresso Pump and down the street. “So where should we go first?” Anya asked. “Perhaps the record store. I’ve been looking for Ani DiFranco CDs.” She pushed open the door. The floors were polished hardwood, and the smell of incense flooded them. “Some of the women I did vengeance for used to listen to her. She was a lot better than that whiney Alanis Morissette. You outta know, my ass.”
“I love Ani,” Tara said. “She’s such a strong performer. And did you know that she’s openly bisexual and a big advocate for the queer community?”
“Well, I don’t really care who she fucks as long as she puts out decent music.” Anya peered at a stack of CDs. “Ohh,” Anya said. “Bargain bin score.” She began riffling through a bin of CDs.
Tara looked around. They were playing some loud punk band over the store speakers. She browsed a few rows of CDs, but couldn’t find anything interesting. She was too worried about Willow to concentrate on shopping.
“All done,” Anya said, holding up two CDs in her hand. “We can go to the check-out now.”
“That was fast,” Tara commented as she followed Anya to the cash register.
“That’ll be $20,” the cashier said. “Are you two like lesbians?” he asked, ringing them up.
“No,” Anya responded, “I have a boyfriend named Xander, and we have lots of sex. Have you ever tried handcuffs? Xander and I have found that it greatly improves our sex life.”
Tara ignored Anya’s comment. She was used to Anya talking about having sex with Xander, well, as used to it as a person could be. “I don’t understand what buying CDs has to do with our sexual orientation?” Tara asked.
“Ani DiFranco,” the cashier responded. “Man does she suck.”
“I’m not handing you over any money, you plebian rock music critic. Who do you think you are? Lester Bangs?” Anya said, putting her cash back into her purse. “You should be encouraging me to buy your products, not criticizing them. Why don’t you go in the back room and pick a few of your pimples, because I could sell CDs in my sleep.” And she walked out with Tara following her.
“Wow,” Tara said once they were out of the store. “That was…”
“What he deserved.” Anya nodded her head and then smiled. “Why don’t we see what other store clerks have to say. Come along, my lesbian lover.” And she looped her arm through Tara’s.
Tara giggled and played along. They continued walking until Tara stopped. “I feel bad,” she admitted.
“Why?” Anya asked, moving her arm away.
“They’re fighting Adam, and we’re having a shopping spree. That doesn’t seem fair,” Tara said. “They could…die.”
“Listen,” Anya interrupted. “I know that you guys say that I’m uncaring or I don’t have any tact. And yes, Xander, Willow, Buffy, and Giles are in danger fighting Adam, but that doesn’t mean we have to sit around and be all mopey. They aren’t dead yet.” She paused for a second. “Just think about those wives of soldiers. They don’t sit around on their asses and cry. No, they do things. They have to continue living, just like we need to. Plus Shoe Aholic is having a major sale. So cheer up.”
Tara looked around the shops for a moment. She wished Willow was here and that they were looking at shoes together. “Okay,” Tara said. “I suppose a little fun won’t hurt.”
“That’s the spirit. Now come on.” She held open the door of the store for Tara.
Tara spotted a pair of green sneakers that Willow had pointed out on their last shopping trip. “Willow really liked these, and they’re on sale today,” Tara commented.
“Well, then get them,” Anya urged while checking out the latest in high heels.
“But what if…”
“But what if what? They’re on sale.” Anya scrunched her nose at a particularly ugly pair of red high heels that donned a huge flower on the front. “These are really ugly. But they would go with one of my dresses. Do you think that Xander would like them?”
“I think he’d like anything that you put on,” Tara responded, setting the shoes on the counter for the clerk to ring up.
Anya fiddled around, trying on the high heels and finding her size. “Perfect fit,” she smiled and walked up and down the aisles a few times. “You always have to try on shoes before you buy them. I think that I’ll wear these home.” She marched up to the register and stood behind Tara. “Strawberry lip balm,” she read the display. “I’ve been wanting to try out other flavors; Xander only has plain, and it doesn’t shine.”
“Strawberry is a nice flavor,” Tara said, signing a check.
“But will Xander like it?” she asked. “Tara?”
“Yes,” Tara responded, turning around with her bag in hand.
Anya leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. “Was it good for you? Does the strawberry taste like real strawberries or artificial like those things that you stick in your mouth and suck on.”
“Lollipops,” Tara, still in shock, offered.
“Yes, lollipops. So how was it?”
“You were fine,” Tara said, gazing at the floor and slightly blushing.
“Not me, silly,” Anya said. “I know I’m good. But what about the lip gloss?”
“It tasted like real strawberries,” Tara answered, clutching the bag to her chest.
“Good.” Anya handed the shoebox and lip gloss to the clerk. “Xander is sure to like these. He’s such a wonderful man.” She sighed.
Author: viciouswishes
Beta: lamort
For: netgirl_y2k
Setting: S4 between “Yoko Factor” and “Primeval”
Rating: PG
Pairing: Anya/Tara
Requests: Strawberry flavored lip balm
Notes: For the Anya Ficathon.
“Do you think that they’ll make up?” Anya asked Tara, joining her at a table in the Espresso Pump. She sipped her latté.
“I hope so,” Tara said, a small smile creeping on her face. “I really don’t understand what happened. But they seem to be getting along.”
“Yeah,” Anya snorted, “until Adam comes along and chops them into body parts for his demon hybrid army.”
“You don’t think...” Tara stopped. “Willow,” she whispered and started to cry. People were beginning to look at them.
“Oh now don’t do that.” Anya moved closer to her. “Come on,” she said while patting Tara on the arm. “I’m sure they’ll be just fine. Buffy is the Slayer after all.” Anya paused. “Anyway, Xander owes me from that bet that he lost. He’ll be back.”
“Bet?” Tara asked. She removed a strand on blonde hair from in front of her face.
“Well, you know how clueless Xander can be,” Anya started.
Tara nodded her head. “Once he thought that an ornithologist was a woman’s doctor.” She giggled, her head titling toward the floor.
Anya looked at her strangely. “So anyway,” she cleared her throat, “I think that this possibly apocalypse calls for a little fun. Let Buffy and company fight Adam in their last moments. Let’s do something for ourselves.”
“What should we do?” Tara asked. She was attempting not to think of Willow and the danger that she might be in.
“How about we do some shopping,” she suggested. “A little capitalistic adventure is more up my alley than demon fighting. And if the world does end, we won’t have to pay the credit card bills.” Anya smiled and picked up her purse. “Come along.”
“Okay,” Tara agreed and slung her school bag over her shoulder.
They walked out of the Espresso Pump and down the street. “So where should we go first?” Anya asked. “Perhaps the record store. I’ve been looking for Ani DiFranco CDs.” She pushed open the door. The floors were polished hardwood, and the smell of incense flooded them. “Some of the women I did vengeance for used to listen to her. She was a lot better than that whiney Alanis Morissette. You outta know, my ass.”
“I love Ani,” Tara said. “She’s such a strong performer. And did you know that she’s openly bisexual and a big advocate for the queer community?”
“Well, I don’t really care who she fucks as long as she puts out decent music.” Anya peered at a stack of CDs. “Ohh,” Anya said. “Bargain bin score.” She began riffling through a bin of CDs.
Tara looked around. They were playing some loud punk band over the store speakers. She browsed a few rows of CDs, but couldn’t find anything interesting. She was too worried about Willow to concentrate on shopping.
“All done,” Anya said, holding up two CDs in her hand. “We can go to the check-out now.”
“That was fast,” Tara commented as she followed Anya to the cash register.
“That’ll be $20,” the cashier said. “Are you two like lesbians?” he asked, ringing them up.
“No,” Anya responded, “I have a boyfriend named Xander, and we have lots of sex. Have you ever tried handcuffs? Xander and I have found that it greatly improves our sex life.”
Tara ignored Anya’s comment. She was used to Anya talking about having sex with Xander, well, as used to it as a person could be. “I don’t understand what buying CDs has to do with our sexual orientation?” Tara asked.
“Ani DiFranco,” the cashier responded. “Man does she suck.”
“I’m not handing you over any money, you plebian rock music critic. Who do you think you are? Lester Bangs?” Anya said, putting her cash back into her purse. “You should be encouraging me to buy your products, not criticizing them. Why don’t you go in the back room and pick a few of your pimples, because I could sell CDs in my sleep.” And she walked out with Tara following her.
“Wow,” Tara said once they were out of the store. “That was…”
“What he deserved.” Anya nodded her head and then smiled. “Why don’t we see what other store clerks have to say. Come along, my lesbian lover.” And she looped her arm through Tara’s.
Tara giggled and played along. They continued walking until Tara stopped. “I feel bad,” she admitted.
“Why?” Anya asked, moving her arm away.
“They’re fighting Adam, and we’re having a shopping spree. That doesn’t seem fair,” Tara said. “They could…die.”
“Listen,” Anya interrupted. “I know that you guys say that I’m uncaring or I don’t have any tact. And yes, Xander, Willow, Buffy, and Giles are in danger fighting Adam, but that doesn’t mean we have to sit around and be all mopey. They aren’t dead yet.” She paused for a second. “Just think about those wives of soldiers. They don’t sit around on their asses and cry. No, they do things. They have to continue living, just like we need to. Plus Shoe Aholic is having a major sale. So cheer up.”
Tara looked around the shops for a moment. She wished Willow was here and that they were looking at shoes together. “Okay,” Tara said. “I suppose a little fun won’t hurt.”
“That’s the spirit. Now come on.” She held open the door of the store for Tara.
Tara spotted a pair of green sneakers that Willow had pointed out on their last shopping trip. “Willow really liked these, and they’re on sale today,” Tara commented.
“Well, then get them,” Anya urged while checking out the latest in high heels.
“But what if…”
“But what if what? They’re on sale.” Anya scrunched her nose at a particularly ugly pair of red high heels that donned a huge flower on the front. “These are really ugly. But they would go with one of my dresses. Do you think that Xander would like them?”
“I think he’d like anything that you put on,” Tara responded, setting the shoes on the counter for the clerk to ring up.
Anya fiddled around, trying on the high heels and finding her size. “Perfect fit,” she smiled and walked up and down the aisles a few times. “You always have to try on shoes before you buy them. I think that I’ll wear these home.” She marched up to the register and stood behind Tara. “Strawberry lip balm,” she read the display. “I’ve been wanting to try out other flavors; Xander only has plain, and it doesn’t shine.”
“Strawberry is a nice flavor,” Tara said, signing a check.
“But will Xander like it?” she asked. “Tara?”
“Yes,” Tara responded, turning around with her bag in hand.
Anya leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. “Was it good for you? Does the strawberry taste like real strawberries or artificial like those things that you stick in your mouth and suck on.”
“Lollipops,” Tara, still in shock, offered.
“Yes, lollipops. So how was it?”
“You were fine,” Tara said, gazing at the floor and slightly blushing.
“Not me, silly,” Anya said. “I know I’m good. But what about the lip gloss?”
“It tasted like real strawberries,” Tara answered, clutching the bag to her chest.
“Good.” Anya handed the shoebox and lip gloss to the clerk. “Xander is sure to like these. He’s such a wonderful man.” She sighed.