my final breakup

May 17, 2006 09:15

I realize that I'm telling this story over and over because everyone I know want to hear it.  So I thought I would just post about it with a friends filter, for those of you who don't know yet ( Read more... )

love, tears, character traits

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themetalspork May 17 2006, 14:39:49 UTC
love that quote from as good as it gets. i cant belive i read that whole post O_o. i just got out of a relationship that was comperable to the one you described and it surprised me that you came to alot of the same conclusions that i did. i wonder how many people this kinda shit happens to?

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vicariance May 17 2006, 14:49:38 UTC
I happens to plenty of people. And most of them end up getting married because they don't have the wherewithall for introspection and analysis. Love is largely a chemical reaction, the body playing out the biological necessity of pair bonding. We care about having the best, but we don't really know what it is. We are a race built of denial and confusion.

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vicariance May 17 2006, 15:02:30 UTC
I'm very proud to hear that I've made a positive impact on your life.

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erinfern May 17 2006, 15:36:48 UTC
I like jovial and philosopher you.

And I am glad you are holding out for someone who loves ALL of you. Not just what you can do for them.

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vicariance May 17 2006, 15:40:34 UTC
Thank you, Erin. I don't think I'll have trouble anymore knowing the difference.

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emblemparade May 17 2006, 15:40:16 UTC
That seems pretty honest. I think this is the main deal:

The man Anna made me want to be was a far worse one than I am without her.You two seem to bring out the worst in each other. I'm sure she's not always as bitchy as you describe her, but somehow she becomes quite a monster with you. Love conquers much, but not all. One thing to think of: people are not constants. She can change, you can change, overnight even. And ... you were on holiday! So, if you are looking for hope, there is some, I think. At some point, though, you have to evaluate people's capacity for change ( ... )

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vicariance May 17 2006, 16:01:01 UTC
I also thought that to be the main deal. Rather summarizes the whole problem ( ... )

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emblemparade May 17 2006, 16:05:18 UTC
I didn't say "readily available" consumer good... we all have varying degrees of capacity in acquiring it. Some are better than others, no doubt. But there are always other options "out there".

And you might be lucky with love: some people never find it.

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vicariance May 17 2006, 16:15:49 UTC
Yes I understand you there.

However the people who never find love either have rare conditions which prevent it: autism, morbid ugliness, fantatical introversion/isolationism, castration/hyderectomy

Or they simply have an overblown sense of the defintion. Perhaps confusing it with agape Love, as I use the word, is not a divine ethereal substance describable only through poetry. It's the fundamental glue of biological procreation and survival.

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Peace of mind is most certainly invaluable ctzanderman May 17 2006, 15:46:53 UTC
And I'm glad to hear that you have it.

I want to cast a vote for Harlequin Ryan, because a smiling, laughing Ryan is the best kind of Ryan.

Also, what's the deal with everyone giving Paladin's a hard time? Do they not understand how hard it is to be one?

I'm psyched about dinner tomorrow night, especially since I haven't seen you in something like two weeks. Is it cool if I perhaps head over a little early?

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vicariance May 17 2006, 16:10:06 UTC
Thanks Alex, I hope your peace of mind will one day come in less of a burst-mode.

Paladins are annoying because they are completely certain that they know what is right. It is this unflagging motivation that makes them such juggernauts. In that way, I am not truly a paladin because I am willing to listen to counterpoint. But there are some values that I will not let anyone overturn: the welfare of the poeple I love. Fuck with that and you get destroyed if it is in my power.

I'm psyched about dinner too. I've missed it. It's always cool for you to come whenever you want, Al.

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"Burst-mode" is my middle name ctzanderman May 17 2006, 17:33:10 UTC
For some reason or another most things in my life like to arrive in bursts instead of a constant flow. Kind of a pain, really, but at least it keeps things interesting.

I'm going to stick with the basic "valiant hero" definition of Paladin, because that's basically what you are (as proven by such things as what you wrote there about defending your friends). If anything, the fact that you're willing to listen to a counterpoint only makes you more noble because you're making a decision and following through with it based on a larger amount of information.

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aw shucks!! vicariance May 17 2006, 17:40:10 UTC
flattery will get you everywhere, darling!

Call me noble in bed, that's what I like.

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