Fic: Family Arc II - 30B
Title: Family Arc II - 30B
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst/Comfort
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: The past incident revealed - what happened that made them all so fearful this time round?
Arc I Arc II
Kyuhyun was tired during practice. He knew that his late nights at the hospital would take their toll on him. He focused on getting the steps down, but Kangin-hyung kept pointing out his error. Kyuhyun faltered, his dance moves became less confident and more hesitation. Finally when Kangin exploded, Kyuhyun bent his head, knowing that he could not mask the hurt he felt. Kyuhyun only heard Kangin march out of the practice room.
“Kyuhyun? Are you coming?”
Kyuhyun lifted his head at Ryeowook’s question. He looked around, seeing an empty room. He did not realise that practice was over. Kyuhyun told Ryeowook to go first, wanting to practice more as he knew that it was his fault for disrupting their practice. Kyuhyun wiped the sweat off his face and turned on the music. He let the music flow over him and lost himself in the music.
When his body finally could not take it anymore, Kyuhyun collapsed on the ground panting. He looked at his watch and sat up. Kyuhyun gathered his things and switched off the music and lights. As he was about to step out of the room, he heard his name. Kyuhyun hid behind the door, which was opened slightly.
“…Kyuhyun. I don’t get why he was accepted in Super Junior. I mean he joined SM so late.”
“Ya, he didn’t even train with the rest of us.”
“And yet, he’s enjoying fame while we are still trainees.”
“So lucky of him to be able to ride on the fame of the seniors’ success.”
“I tell you he must have done something.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t tell anyone about this. I heard that his father is some high-ranking diplomat.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“My cousin told me. Apparently they were in the same elementary school.”
“No wonder he got to debut so fast…”
The voices drifted off as the three got further from the room.
Kyuhyun tightened his hold on his bag as the words registered. He knew that his debut was controversial and that it was shrouded in mystery and he knew that some trainees resented him for debuting so soon after joining the company. But it had been a long time since he had heard those words. They came up frequently while he was still a trainee before debuting, usually when he was alone at practice.
After his debut, the words died off - or so he thought. Kyuhyun now knew it was because ever since his debut he was usually surrounded by his hyungs that no one dared to say it in their presence.
After three months, people still doubt me. When has anyone confirmed my presence before? Father didn’t. Mother didn’t. Why would anyone do so if even my parents doubt me?
Kyuhyun could feel the tears coming to his eyes but he held them in. He refused to let them fall. He refused to show the uncaring world how he was feeling. That was his last line of defence against a world that did not want him.
Kyuhyun stood straight, schooling his face into his usual expression and left the building. He wondered down the road, letting his feet take him to his destination. Did my father really have something to do with it? Kyuhyun did not know whether he should feel happy that his father was willing to help him, or feel upset over the way he got to debut if his father really did do something.
But why would he? He’s never answered my calls. We’ve never spoken since he left.
Unknowingly, Kyuhyun had arrived in front of the hospital that Heechul was staying at. He entered and headed straight for Heechul’s ward. He knew that visiting hours were over, but the doctor and nurses were very kind and understanding people, letting him visit Heechul every time he came.
Kyuhyun didn’t know it was because they witnessed his agony when he first snuck into the ward to visit Heechul. One nurse stopped Kyuhyun on his way, telling him that Heechul had a rough day that day, getting frustrated with the prospect of staying in the hospital and the physiotherapy. Kyuhyun nodded at the nurse, thanking her.
Kyuhyun entered the room silently. He set his bag on the floor as he sat down on the chair. Kyuhyun stared at Heechul, wondering if he should say anything to his hyung. Kyuhyun could feel all the stress of the day waiting to erupt from his body. He knew through his observation that Heechul was not sleeping, only pretending to.
Kyuhyun threw caution to the wind as something told him that he had to say something.
“Hyung, we all missed you. Practice isn’t as fun without you.”
Kyuhyun meant that. With Donghae still a little subdued, the practice atmosphere had been too serious and tense.
“The fans missed you. It’s nice to have people miss you.”
Kyuhyun didn’t think that anyone would miss him if it were him lying on the bed right now.
“At least they’ve noticed your presence. Hyung, I know you’re getting frustrated but you must be patient. Super Junior cannot exist without Kim Heechul. But can you exist without Super Junior?”
Kyuhyun meant his words. Super Junior was built upon every single one of his hyungs and it would not exist with one of them missing.
“If you can, then I’ve got nothing to say.”
Kyuhyun could hear his heart cracking as he said those words.
“If you can’t, then Hyung. Don’t give up. We’ll all there to catch you if you fall. We’ll all be there waiting to welcome you back.”
Kyuhyun heard the pleading in his voice and he knew he was about to crack.
“Hyung, I know you’re awake and I know you heard me. Please just think about it.”
Kyuhyun said, grabbing his bag and hastily leaving the room.
The tears had fallen. Kyuhyun didn’t know if his hyung felt offended by his words but he did not stay to find out. Kyuhyun quickly shut the door behind him, not wanting Heechul to hear him. The tears flowed from his face as he sank down to the floor.
He thought about his excitement when he was told that he would be joining Super Junior.
He thought about his mother’s words when he said he was going to be a singer. He thought about the contradicting feelings he felt when he learned that he would not be joining Super Junior as a rotational group but as a permanent group. He thought about the fear when he was going to meet Super Junior for the first time at the dorm.
He thought about nervousness when he was to debut. He thought about the shock he saw on the fans’ face when they learned that he was there to stay. He thought about the hurt he refused to show when he read his anti-fan mails. He thought about the exhaustion he felt after every practice, after every performance.
He thought about the loneliness he felt when he realised that he could never bring Jong-hyung to any of his performances.
He was truly alone.
He thought about the happiness he shared with the rest when they won an award.
He thought about the cuts in his heart whenever he heard the other trainees. He thought about the confusion in him when his hyungs start discussing something of their past which he was not a part of. He thought about the helplessness he felt when Donghae was crying over his father’s death. He thought about the want to just give up and not care about anything anymore.
But Kyuhyun knew that he would not quit as it would prove his mother right adding to the fact that he had nowhere else to go.
Or would I? Besides when has Mother been wrong about me?
However, Kyuhyun knew that the most important reason that held him back from quitting was the fact that he didn’t want to lose his hyungs.
It had been lonely the past few years since Jong Ki died and when Kyuhyun finally found people that seemingly cared for him, he did not want to let them go.
Kangin’s words had shaken that belief.
Kyuhyun wondered if it was because he wanted people to care for him so much that he had deluded himself that his hyungs cared for him.
He knew he had to be strong to survive in the entertainment industry. He knew that he had to be strong.
But he was tired.
He did not want to stay strong anymore. He had survived all these years by telling himself to stay strong, to believe that it would be better in the future.
But Kyuhyun really was tired, especially the scare he got when he heard about Jong - No, Heechul-hyung’s - car accident.
He thought then that he had lost another of his hyung.
Maybe they were right. Thirteen is not a good number.
Kyuhyun wanted to give up. He did not want to care if he was proving his mother right. He did not care if he was not fulfilling his dream. He did not care if he was disappointing someone.
He just didn’t want hurt anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hankyung and Kibum ran through the hospital, ignoring the indignant shouts from the night nurse that there was no visitors and no running allowed in the hospital. They only had one aim - get to Heechul’s room. They ran out of the lift when the door opened, heading down the hallway that suddenly seemed so long.
Kibum skidded to a stop when he saw a nurse hovering in front of what he knew was Heechul’s door. Hankyung stopped next to him. The nurse turned her head up.
“Sirs, there’s no visitors allowed now. Please come back tomorrow morning.”
“We’re here to look for our friend…”
Hankyung began to explain when Kibum exclaimed.
“Kyuhyun!”
Kibum bent down in front of the figure the nurse was hovering in front of, recognising the clothes as Kyuhyun’s.
Kibum ignored the conversation that was going on between Hankyung and the nurse, focusing his attention on Kyuhyun.
“Kyu, are you okay? Kyu?”
Kibum asked, but there was no reaction from Kyuhyun. He remained in his hunched position with his backpack squashed against the wall.
“Kyuhyunnie, it’s me Kibum. Kyu, please look at me.”
Kibum pleaded, horror rising in his heart. Kibum reached forward, holding Kyuhyun’s chin and gently lifting his head.
Kibum’s hand slacked when he saw the tears rolling down the magnae’s face.
“Do you know him?”
Apparently the nurse was not very well-acquainted with the entertainment circle.
“He’s my friend. Do you know what happened to him?”
“He’s here almost every night to visit Heechul-sshi. Tonight he came later than normal. When I finished my rounds, I found him on the floor. I tried to find out what was wrong but he didn’t react to me.”
“He’s here almost every night?”
Hankyung asked, shocked. He had not known that their magnae had visited Heechul every day.
“Yes. The doctor allowed him to, even if it was after visiting hours. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because Heechul-sshi always looked better when he comes to visit.”
“Heechul-sshi…”
The rest of the words died off in Hankyung’s throat when he looked at the youngest.
Tears were rolling non-stop down Kyuhyun’s face even though the magnae was not making a single sound.
“Kyu…”
Hankyung ignored the nurse, turning his attention to Kyuhyun. He kneeled down next to Kibum, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. The three didn’t notice when the nurse left them alone, giving them some privacy.
More tears replaced the ones that were wiped away by Hankyung.
“Kyuhyunnie, why are you crying?”
Kibum snapped back from his shock, hearing Hankyung’s voice near him. He turned back to Kyuhyun, waiting. Kibum and Hankyung turned to each other, not knowing what to do when Kyuhyun showed no sign that he knew their presence.
“Shall we bring him home then find out more? He’s not going to tell us in the hospital.”
Kibum said to Hankyung, knowing in his heart that this was no place to be talking in depth even if there were few or no one around. Hankyung nodded, looking at his watch. It was very late.
“Kyu, let’s go home k? Then you can tell us why you’re crying.”
Kyuhyun’s head lifted just slightly at the word ‘home’ but he gave no other indication to Hankyung’s words.
Kibum and Hankyung made to stand but a pull at Hankyung’s pants made him stop. He saw Kyuhyun’s hand wrapped around the leg of his pants, as if not wanting him to leave Kyuhyun alone. Hankyung bent back down.
“Kyu?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyuhyun heard Kibum speaking to him, but he didn’t reply. He thought it was a dream.
Why would Kibum-hyung be here?
Then Kyuhyun heard Hankyung’s voice asking why he was crying. Kyuhyun still didn’t believe that the voices were not his imagination.
“Kyu, let’s go home k?”
Kyuhyun lifted his head in surprise. Home?
No one had ever asked him to go home together. With Jong-hyung, home meant Jong-hyung’s house for him, but it was not Kyuhyun’s home. And it was always “Let’s go to my house” and not “Let’s go home”. Home was where family stayed together in. Does it mean I’m part of the family?
The hope rose again before Kyuhyun could squash it down. The tears slowed. He reached out a hand.
I can touch the cloth. Is it really real?
“Kyu?”
There it is. Hankyung-hyung’s voice. I want to go home.
The thought floated through Kyuhyun’s mind, but he did not voice it.
Kyuhyun felt someone removing his backpack, but he didn’t react, still trying to reacquaint himself with the idea of home.
“Let’s go home.”
Kyuhyun couldn’t explain the warmth he felt running through his body at that statement.
Hankyung scooped Kyuhyun up in his arms, frowning at how light his dongsaeng was as Kibum picked up the backpack. They did not care if it looked weird that for them to be carrying another person out of the hospital. All they wanted was to bring their magnae back to the dorm and surround him with all the love and concern.
Hankyung and Kyuhyun occupied the backseat, with Kyuhyun wrapped tightly in Hankyung’s embrace. The phone rang through the car.
“Kibum! Did you find him? Did you find him? Tell me you did!”
Ryeowook’s voice echoed through the car as Kibum pressed the loudspeaker button.
“Calm down. Kibum, answer his question.”
Yesung’s voice replaced Ryeowook’s, but the worry was still heard in his voice.
Kyuhyun looked up when he heard Ryeowook’s voice.
Wookie-hyung? Yesung-hyung? Who was missing?
“We found him. We’re heading back now. Can you tell the rest Hyung?”
“You did? Okay, hurry back. I’ll tell the rest.”
Yesung’s voice could still be heard repeating what Kibum said to him before Kibum hung up the phone.
“Hyung, who are you looking for?”
Hankyung looked down at Kyuhyun.
“We were looking for you.”
Me?
“You gave Eeteuk-hyung - gave all of us - a scare when we couldn’t find you at the dorm.”
Kyuhyun didn’t understand why they were worried about him. His mother never bothered if he was at home or not, even though Kyuhyun was always home before dinner.
“We were worried that something happened to you. Did something happen to you Kyu?”
Kyuhyun debated whether to tell his hyung. He didn’t want to appear weak.
“Was it because of what Kangin said to you? Don’t worry, Teukie-hyung already gave him a scolding.”
Kyuhyun shook his head, not wanting the blame to fall on his hyung. Besides it was him who could not take the stress.
“No? Then what happened?”
Hankyung asked. He wanted to say more, but held it in. He didn’t want to make Kyuhyun feel like he was cornered.
Kyuhyun blinked at his hyung. Should he or should he not? His hyung did not pressure him, and Kyuhyun felt that he owed his hyung an answer for making them worry.
He explained that he felt stressed for not being able to catch the dance moves correctly. He explained about the worry he had over their performances. He wanted to stop there, but Kyuhyun sensed that Hankyung was not satisfied with his explanation.
He didn’t know if he should be glad that his hyung could read him so well, or he should fear his hyung discovering all the secrets that he hid. Looking at his hyung’s kind face, Kyuhyun felt like blurting out everything to his hyung.
“I heard some trainees talking as I was leaving the dance studio.”
Kyuhyun’s voice was soft and low, such that Hankyung strained to hear it above the engine noise.
“They said that…”
Kyuhyun did not repeat the exact words because it hurt to hear them again.
“Kyuhyun, look at me. Ignore what they said. They don’t know you. We do. We know the effort you put in. We know the talent that you have. And we acknowledge it. Whatever others say, you have been accepted as part of Super Junior. What matters is that we, as Super Junior, have accepted you as part of us. No matter what others say, Cho Kyuhyun is the thirteenth member of Super Junior and that will never change.”
Kyuhyun looked at Hankyung. He would believe Hankyung for now. He would let himself be weak now and rely on his hyung’s words. It was nice having someone to lean on when he didn’t feel like being strong, when he didn’t want to hold it all within him.
Although those were not the thoughts that were troubling Kyuhyun the most, he was glad that he said it out. Kyuhyun leaned into Hankyung, letting his hyung’s heartbeat sooth him to sleep.
Hankyung’s arms tightened around Kyuhyun, staring at Kibum through the mirror, both coming to an agreement. They would make sure, with the rest of Super Junior, that no one would ever say that to Kyuhyun again.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Part C
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst/Comfort
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: The past incident revealed - what happened that made them all so fearful this time round?
Arc I Arc II
Kyuhyun was tired during practice. He knew that his late nights at the hospital would take their toll on him. He focused on getting the steps down, but Kangin-hyung kept pointing out his error. Kyuhyun faltered, his dance moves became less confident and more hesitation. Finally when Kangin exploded, Kyuhyun bent his head, knowing that he could not mask the hurt he felt. Kyuhyun only heard Kangin march out of the practice room.
“Kyuhyun? Are you coming?”
Kyuhyun lifted his head at Ryeowook’s question. He looked around, seeing an empty room. He did not realise that practice was over. Kyuhyun told Ryeowook to go first, wanting to practice more as he knew that it was his fault for disrupting their practice. Kyuhyun wiped the sweat off his face and turned on the music. He let the music flow over him and lost himself in the music.
When his body finally could not take it anymore, Kyuhyun collapsed on the ground panting. He looked at his watch and sat up. Kyuhyun gathered his things and switched off the music and lights. As he was about to step out of the room, he heard his name. Kyuhyun hid behind the door, which was opened slightly.
“…Kyuhyun. I don’t get why he was accepted in Super Junior. I mean he joined SM so late.”
“Ya, he didn’t even train with the rest of us.”
“And yet, he’s enjoying fame while we are still trainees.”
“So lucky of him to be able to ride on the fame of the seniors’ success.”
“I tell you he must have done something.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t tell anyone about this. I heard that his father is some high-ranking diplomat.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“My cousin told me. Apparently they were in the same elementary school.”
“No wonder he got to debut so fast…”
The voices drifted off as the three got further from the room.
Kyuhyun tightened his hold on his bag as the words registered. He knew that his debut was controversial and that it was shrouded in mystery and he knew that some trainees resented him for debuting so soon after joining the company. But it had been a long time since he had heard those words. They came up frequently while he was still a trainee before debuting, usually when he was alone at practice.
After his debut, the words died off - or so he thought. Kyuhyun now knew it was because ever since his debut he was usually surrounded by his hyungs that no one dared to say it in their presence.
After three months, people still doubt me. When has anyone confirmed my presence before? Father didn’t. Mother didn’t. Why would anyone do so if even my parents doubt me?
Kyuhyun could feel the tears coming to his eyes but he held them in. He refused to let them fall. He refused to show the uncaring world how he was feeling. That was his last line of defence against a world that did not want him.
Kyuhyun stood straight, schooling his face into his usual expression and left the building. He wondered down the road, letting his feet take him to his destination. Did my father really have something to do with it? Kyuhyun did not know whether he should feel happy that his father was willing to help him, or feel upset over the way he got to debut if his father really did do something.
But why would he? He’s never answered my calls. We’ve never spoken since he left.
Unknowingly, Kyuhyun had arrived in front of the hospital that Heechul was staying at. He entered and headed straight for Heechul’s ward. He knew that visiting hours were over, but the doctor and nurses were very kind and understanding people, letting him visit Heechul every time he came.
Kyuhyun didn’t know it was because they witnessed his agony when he first snuck into the ward to visit Heechul. One nurse stopped Kyuhyun on his way, telling him that Heechul had a rough day that day, getting frustrated with the prospect of staying in the hospital and the physiotherapy. Kyuhyun nodded at the nurse, thanking her.
Kyuhyun entered the room silently. He set his bag on the floor as he sat down on the chair. Kyuhyun stared at Heechul, wondering if he should say anything to his hyung. Kyuhyun could feel all the stress of the day waiting to erupt from his body. He knew through his observation that Heechul was not sleeping, only pretending to.
Kyuhyun threw caution to the wind as something told him that he had to say something.
“Hyung, we all missed you. Practice isn’t as fun without you.”
Kyuhyun meant that. With Donghae still a little subdued, the practice atmosphere had been too serious and tense.
“The fans missed you. It’s nice to have people miss you.”
Kyuhyun didn’t think that anyone would miss him if it were him lying on the bed right now.
“At least they’ve noticed your presence. Hyung, I know you’re getting frustrated but you must be patient. Super Junior cannot exist without Kim Heechul. But can you exist without Super Junior?”
Kyuhyun meant his words. Super Junior was built upon every single one of his hyungs and it would not exist with one of them missing.
“If you can, then I’ve got nothing to say.”
Kyuhyun could hear his heart cracking as he said those words.
“If you can’t, then Hyung. Don’t give up. We’ll all there to catch you if you fall. We’ll all be there waiting to welcome you back.”
Kyuhyun heard the pleading in his voice and he knew he was about to crack.
“Hyung, I know you’re awake and I know you heard me. Please just think about it.”
Kyuhyun said, grabbing his bag and hastily leaving the room.
The tears had fallen. Kyuhyun didn’t know if his hyung felt offended by his words but he did not stay to find out. Kyuhyun quickly shut the door behind him, not wanting Heechul to hear him. The tears flowed from his face as he sank down to the floor.
He thought about his excitement when he was told that he would be joining Super Junior.
He thought about his mother’s words when he said he was going to be a singer. He thought about the contradicting feelings he felt when he learned that he would not be joining Super Junior as a rotational group but as a permanent group. He thought about the fear when he was going to meet Super Junior for the first time at the dorm.
He thought about nervousness when he was to debut. He thought about the shock he saw on the fans’ face when they learned that he was there to stay. He thought about the hurt he refused to show when he read his anti-fan mails. He thought about the exhaustion he felt after every practice, after every performance.
He thought about the loneliness he felt when he realised that he could never bring Jong-hyung to any of his performances.
He was truly alone.
He thought about the happiness he shared with the rest when they won an award.
He thought about the cuts in his heart whenever he heard the other trainees. He thought about the confusion in him when his hyungs start discussing something of their past which he was not a part of. He thought about the helplessness he felt when Donghae was crying over his father’s death. He thought about the want to just give up and not care about anything anymore.
But Kyuhyun knew that he would not quit as it would prove his mother right adding to the fact that he had nowhere else to go.
Or would I? Besides when has Mother been wrong about me?
However, Kyuhyun knew that the most important reason that held him back from quitting was the fact that he didn’t want to lose his hyungs.
It had been lonely the past few years since Jong Ki died and when Kyuhyun finally found people that seemingly cared for him, he did not want to let them go.
Kangin’s words had shaken that belief.
Kyuhyun wondered if it was because he wanted people to care for him so much that he had deluded himself that his hyungs cared for him.
He knew he had to be strong to survive in the entertainment industry. He knew that he had to be strong.
But he was tired.
He did not want to stay strong anymore. He had survived all these years by telling himself to stay strong, to believe that it would be better in the future.
But Kyuhyun really was tired, especially the scare he got when he heard about Jong - No, Heechul-hyung’s - car accident.
He thought then that he had lost another of his hyung.
Maybe they were right. Thirteen is not a good number.
Kyuhyun wanted to give up. He did not want to care if he was proving his mother right. He did not care if he was not fulfilling his dream. He did not care if he was disappointing someone.
He just didn’t want hurt anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hankyung and Kibum ran through the hospital, ignoring the indignant shouts from the night nurse that there was no visitors and no running allowed in the hospital. They only had one aim - get to Heechul’s room. They ran out of the lift when the door opened, heading down the hallway that suddenly seemed so long.
Kibum skidded to a stop when he saw a nurse hovering in front of what he knew was Heechul’s door. Hankyung stopped next to him. The nurse turned her head up.
“Sirs, there’s no visitors allowed now. Please come back tomorrow morning.”
“We’re here to look for our friend…”
Hankyung began to explain when Kibum exclaimed.
“Kyuhyun!”
Kibum bent down in front of the figure the nurse was hovering in front of, recognising the clothes as Kyuhyun’s.
Kibum ignored the conversation that was going on between Hankyung and the nurse, focusing his attention on Kyuhyun.
“Kyu, are you okay? Kyu?”
Kibum asked, but there was no reaction from Kyuhyun. He remained in his hunched position with his backpack squashed against the wall.
“Kyuhyunnie, it’s me Kibum. Kyu, please look at me.”
Kibum pleaded, horror rising in his heart. Kibum reached forward, holding Kyuhyun’s chin and gently lifting his head.
Kibum’s hand slacked when he saw the tears rolling down the magnae’s face.
“Do you know him?”
Apparently the nurse was not very well-acquainted with the entertainment circle.
“He’s my friend. Do you know what happened to him?”
“He’s here almost every night to visit Heechul-sshi. Tonight he came later than normal. When I finished my rounds, I found him on the floor. I tried to find out what was wrong but he didn’t react to me.”
“He’s here almost every night?”
Hankyung asked, shocked. He had not known that their magnae had visited Heechul every day.
“Yes. The doctor allowed him to, even if it was after visiting hours. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because Heechul-sshi always looked better when he comes to visit.”
“Heechul-sshi…”
The rest of the words died off in Hankyung’s throat when he looked at the youngest.
Tears were rolling non-stop down Kyuhyun’s face even though the magnae was not making a single sound.
“Kyu…”
Hankyung ignored the nurse, turning his attention to Kyuhyun. He kneeled down next to Kibum, using his thumb to wipe away the tears. The three didn’t notice when the nurse left them alone, giving them some privacy.
More tears replaced the ones that were wiped away by Hankyung.
“Kyuhyunnie, why are you crying?”
Kibum snapped back from his shock, hearing Hankyung’s voice near him. He turned back to Kyuhyun, waiting. Kibum and Hankyung turned to each other, not knowing what to do when Kyuhyun showed no sign that he knew their presence.
“Shall we bring him home then find out more? He’s not going to tell us in the hospital.”
Kibum said to Hankyung, knowing in his heart that this was no place to be talking in depth even if there were few or no one around. Hankyung nodded, looking at his watch. It was very late.
“Kyu, let’s go home k? Then you can tell us why you’re crying.”
Kyuhyun’s head lifted just slightly at the word ‘home’ but he gave no other indication to Hankyung’s words.
Kibum and Hankyung made to stand but a pull at Hankyung’s pants made him stop. He saw Kyuhyun’s hand wrapped around the leg of his pants, as if not wanting him to leave Kyuhyun alone. Hankyung bent back down.
“Kyu?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyuhyun heard Kibum speaking to him, but he didn’t reply. He thought it was a dream.
Why would Kibum-hyung be here?
Then Kyuhyun heard Hankyung’s voice asking why he was crying. Kyuhyun still didn’t believe that the voices were not his imagination.
“Kyu, let’s go home k?”
Kyuhyun lifted his head in surprise. Home?
No one had ever asked him to go home together. With Jong-hyung, home meant Jong-hyung’s house for him, but it was not Kyuhyun’s home. And it was always “Let’s go to my house” and not “Let’s go home”. Home was where family stayed together in. Does it mean I’m part of the family?
The hope rose again before Kyuhyun could squash it down. The tears slowed. He reached out a hand.
I can touch the cloth. Is it really real?
“Kyu?”
There it is. Hankyung-hyung’s voice. I want to go home.
The thought floated through Kyuhyun’s mind, but he did not voice it.
Kyuhyun felt someone removing his backpack, but he didn’t react, still trying to reacquaint himself with the idea of home.
“Let’s go home.”
Kyuhyun couldn’t explain the warmth he felt running through his body at that statement.
Hankyung scooped Kyuhyun up in his arms, frowning at how light his dongsaeng was as Kibum picked up the backpack. They did not care if it looked weird that for them to be carrying another person out of the hospital. All they wanted was to bring their magnae back to the dorm and surround him with all the love and concern.
Hankyung and Kyuhyun occupied the backseat, with Kyuhyun wrapped tightly in Hankyung’s embrace. The phone rang through the car.
“Kibum! Did you find him? Did you find him? Tell me you did!”
Ryeowook’s voice echoed through the car as Kibum pressed the loudspeaker button.
“Calm down. Kibum, answer his question.”
Yesung’s voice replaced Ryeowook’s, but the worry was still heard in his voice.
Kyuhyun looked up when he heard Ryeowook’s voice.
Wookie-hyung? Yesung-hyung? Who was missing?
“We found him. We’re heading back now. Can you tell the rest Hyung?”
“You did? Okay, hurry back. I’ll tell the rest.”
Yesung’s voice could still be heard repeating what Kibum said to him before Kibum hung up the phone.
“Hyung, who are you looking for?”
Hankyung looked down at Kyuhyun.
“We were looking for you.”
Me?
“You gave Eeteuk-hyung - gave all of us - a scare when we couldn’t find you at the dorm.”
Kyuhyun didn’t understand why they were worried about him. His mother never bothered if he was at home or not, even though Kyuhyun was always home before dinner.
“We were worried that something happened to you. Did something happen to you Kyu?”
Kyuhyun debated whether to tell his hyung. He didn’t want to appear weak.
“Was it because of what Kangin said to you? Don’t worry, Teukie-hyung already gave him a scolding.”
Kyuhyun shook his head, not wanting the blame to fall on his hyung. Besides it was him who could not take the stress.
“No? Then what happened?”
Hankyung asked. He wanted to say more, but held it in. He didn’t want to make Kyuhyun feel like he was cornered.
Kyuhyun blinked at his hyung. Should he or should he not? His hyung did not pressure him, and Kyuhyun felt that he owed his hyung an answer for making them worry.
He explained that he felt stressed for not being able to catch the dance moves correctly. He explained about the worry he had over their performances. He wanted to stop there, but Kyuhyun sensed that Hankyung was not satisfied with his explanation.
He didn’t know if he should be glad that his hyung could read him so well, or he should fear his hyung discovering all the secrets that he hid. Looking at his hyung’s kind face, Kyuhyun felt like blurting out everything to his hyung.
“I heard some trainees talking as I was leaving the dance studio.”
Kyuhyun’s voice was soft and low, such that Hankyung strained to hear it above the engine noise.
“They said that…”
Kyuhyun did not repeat the exact words because it hurt to hear them again.
“Kyuhyun, look at me. Ignore what they said. They don’t know you. We do. We know the effort you put in. We know the talent that you have. And we acknowledge it. Whatever others say, you have been accepted as part of Super Junior. What matters is that we, as Super Junior, have accepted you as part of us. No matter what others say, Cho Kyuhyun is the thirteenth member of Super Junior and that will never change.”
Kyuhyun looked at Hankyung. He would believe Hankyung for now. He would let himself be weak now and rely on his hyung’s words. It was nice having someone to lean on when he didn’t feel like being strong, when he didn’t want to hold it all within him.
Although those were not the thoughts that were troubling Kyuhyun the most, he was glad that he said it out. Kyuhyun leaned into Hankyung, letting his hyung’s heartbeat sooth him to sleep.
Hankyung’s arms tightened around Kyuhyun, staring at Kibum through the mirror, both coming to an agreement. They would make sure, with the rest of Super Junior, that no one would ever say that to Kyuhyun again.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Part C