Fic: Family Arc II - 15
Title: Family Arc II - 15
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Kyuhyun is finally home!!!
Arc I Arc II
Both vans headed towards the dormitory where Kyuhyun was staying in. Eeteuk felt that it would be better for Kyuhyun to wake up in a familiar setting - not that Kyuhyun spend time in the other dormitory - but Eeteuk believed that waking up in your own room would be less shocking. Eeteuk stared at Kyuhyun throughout the whole journey, stroking his hair gently. His actions helped soothe the pained lines on Kyuhyun’s face, allowing him to drift into a more comfortable sleep, although his breathing was still a little laboured. The cold pack was kept in place by Kibum, who hoped that it would help to bring the relentless fever down. Kibum hoped that the illness would not put Kyuhyun further back on his road to recovery. Kibum kept glancing up at Eeteuk and then back down at Kyuhyun, opening and closing his mouth, as if he had something to say, but didn’t know how to voice it. Eeteuk did not notice as he concentrated on comforting Kyuhyun. Heechul stared at Kibum, wondering why he was imitating a fish.
“Kibummie, do you want to say something?”
Eeteuk looked up at Kibum, who blinked at Heechul, before turning to face Eeteuk.
“Erm…Eeteuk-hyung, can we…can I stay at your dorm?”
Eeteuk gave Kibum a puzzled look.
“Just until Kyuhyun recovers.” Kibum quickly added, ducking his head shyly afterwards. He was a little embarrassed at making such a request.
Oh. Eeteuk thought. He could understand fully the need to be with Kyuhyun right now. It had been two close calls in a relatively short period of time where they had nearly lost their youngest. They all wanted to make sure that it would not happen again anytime soon. Or better yet, never. Eeteuk nodded his consent. Besides, even if Eeteuk did not feel that way, he would not have been able to reject Kibum’s request when it was made in that manner. Kibum sensed Eeteuk’s consent and gave him a bright smile, despite the relatively sombre atmosphere. The rest in the van smiled, feeling the serious mood dissipate a little. Heechul made eye contact with Eeteuk. No words were exchanged between them as Eeteuk understood Heechul’s unspoken request. Heechul too wanted to stay somewhere close to Kyuhyun. And Heechul knew Eeteuk’s reply.
As they reached the building, Hankyung once again carried Kyuhyun, who remained asleep as Hankyung carried him to his room. Ryeowook dashed in front of Hankyung, clearing the path of obstacles to prevent Hankyung from tripping over anything. He removed the blanket so that Kyuhyun could be placed on the bed. After which, Ryeowook gently tucked Kyuhyun into bed, covering him with the blanket. Only Eeteuk, Hankyung, Ryeowook and Kibum were in the room at the moment. The rest were at the living room, waiting. After all, the room would not fit so many people.
Eeteuk waited till Kyuhyun was properly settled before nudging Hankyung out of the door. Eeteuk wanted to discuss how they should go about taking care of Kyuhyun now that he was home. Kibum and Ryeowook volunteered to take care of Kyuhyun first. Eeteuk nodded. He would have preferred it if everyone was present, but Eeteuk understood the need for someone to be beside Kyuhyun now. He understood the need that Kibum and Ryeowook carried to assure themselves that Kyuhyun was alright - or as good as he can be at the moment - that he was there in front of them. If he could turn back time, Eeteuk would gladly give anything to be the first to find Kyuhyun. Being two of the youngest, Kibum and Ryeowook were not prepared to deal with finding their friend lying so still on the floor - not that any of them would had been prepared for such an incident. It must had have been traumatising for the two who had not experience anything like that before. Not that Eeteuk wished it upon them to experience that, nor had Eeteuk come across such situation before, but somewhere in Eeteuk’s heart, he would have preferred to have found Kyuhyun himself. Eeteuk would willingly shouldered the burden of the disconcerting image of Kyuhyun lying immobile in his own blood than to let anyone else - especially the youngest - carry it. That was who Eeteuk was. He would be perfectly willing to take everything on himself if he could do so.
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Eeteuk and Hankyung entered the living room, where everyone had settled themselves around the coffee table, some on the sofa, some on the floor. They all looked up when the two came into sight. Eeteuk sighed and dropped down next to Siwon on the sofa. Hankyung settled next to Heechul and Donghae on the floor. Eeteuk looked one round across the floor at all of them, sadness showing in his eyes over the situation with Kyuhyun. Yet determination was also clearly visible in his eyes that he - they - were going to do their very best to make the situation better.
“Hyung, before you speak, we would like to say something.” Shindong spoke up. Eeteuk turned towards him.
“We’ve decided on the journey here that we would all be staying here to help take care of Kyuhyun.”
The rest of those who travelled in the same van nodded their agreement to the statement.
Hankyung smiled his first genuine smile for the night, amazed by the love and the telepathy present between the members. Eeteuk too smiled as he nodded. He made a mental note to ask the management if they could all stay in one dorm from then on. He took a deep breath before speaking.
“I know it’s been a long day and that we’re all tired. But we need to decide on what’s our next step. How and what are we going to do to take care of Kyuhyun? As much as I don’t like it, we will not be able to take time off our schedule.”
Silence reigned as each of them tried to think of what they could do.
“Why not we compare our schedule and try to draw up another schedule of which we stagger the timings such that at least one of us can be in the house to take care of Kyuhyun at any one time?” A voice came from one corner of the room.
Everyone’s head turned towards the one who commented.
“That’s a brilliant idea Yesung!” Donghae exclaimed. Shindong, Eunhyuk and Sungmin nodded their consent at that sentence. They all rushed to get their schedule out of their bags.
“Can you get Kibum’s and Ryeowook’s as well, Hankyung, Yesung?” Eeteuk said, remembering that the two were with Kyuhyun.
After collecting their schedules, they sat back in a circle and started mapping out a schedule to see if they could assign at least one person to take care of Kyuhyun at any time of the day. After half an hour of trying to sort of their schedule and co-ordinate twelve people’s work into one, they finally drafted a tentative schedule. They managed to slot at least one person at every time for the next week until their next performance as Super Junior in a week’s time. Hopefully by then Kyuhyun had recovered from his illness, even though they all knew that it would take a much longer time for Kyuhyun to recover fully from the accident and his emotional trauma. It was the best they could manage and that was what they settled for. By then it was past midnight and all of them were tired.
“Okay. It’s time for bed, especially those of you who have an event tomorrow.” Eeteuk stood up, preparing to send them to bed. Then he thought about it for a while and said, “Why not just grab what you need and we’ll all sleep here tonight? Kangin, Hannie and Shindong can push the sofa and table to one corner to make space. I’ll go take over from Kibummie and Wookie.”
Eeteuk could almost hear the sigh of relief echoing in the room as they heard his suggestion. No one wanted to be alone for the night.
Eeteuk started to take a step towards Kyuhyun’s room, but before he could do so, he felt a hand grab his.
“Hyung, you should rest as well. I’ll take over from them and Yesung can relieve me later.” Kangin said. He knew that Eeteuk was tired as well; he was just refusing to show it to them. Eeteuk was still recovering from the accident, despite the fact that he seemed perfectly well - at least compared to Kyuhyun. Yet it did not erase the fact that he was traumatised as well during the accident. All this drama was not good for him, in addition to the performances they had put up for the past few days. It had taken a toll on Eeteuk, seeing how he tired more easily after the performances, always resting during the breaks although he refused to take a single wink in the van. Kangin cut Eeteuk off before he could protest.
“Jungsu, let us take care of Kyuhyun. Have faith in us. You don’t have to carry the entire burden on your shoulders. We are here to share the burden. You have to take care of yourself as well. Who’s gonna care for us if you fall sick?”
Eeteuk closed his mouth as he listened to Kangin. He nodded, touched by the concern that Kangin had for him. He walked towards his room to grab his pillow and blanket as well as a change of clothes to bring to the living room.
They were taking turns at using the toilet as the dormitory was not meant to cater for thirteen people. Eeteuk sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa as well as Heechul, closing his eyes while waiting to use the bathroom. Eeteuk was feeling tired, and his back hurt a little due to over-usage from all the dance practice and performances that they had been doing. All he wanted to do was to drop on his bed and sleep after their performance, but with what happened Eeteuk was afraid that he would not be able to sleep now. He was too worried. Eeteuk knew deep in his heart that it was impossible to take all the burden upon himself, that everyone would have to stand by themselves one day. He could only make sure that he was there for them whenever they needed him - or even times when they didn’t need him. But I have failed Kyu. I didn’t even notice that he had not been calling for the past few days. The tears rolled down his face at that thought.
Heechul sat on the floor drying his hair with his towel. He was not concentrating. The action was purely methodical. Finally Heechul gave up and stared blankly ahead of him. How many times do we have to go through such things before Kyuhyun can begin to heal? Heechul hated the fact that Kyuhyun had to suffer time and time again for them to discover more about his past. If they really knew him, they would not have needed for him to suffer in order for them to uncover his past. Heechul hated the fact that every time when they seemed to have progressed, however little, they would be thrown more than a couple of steps back by another incident. Heechul hated the fact that all of them were depressed over the situation, even the usually cheerful Eeteuk, bubbly Sungmin and energetic Donghae had lost a bit of their shine. It was good that they were saddened as it meant that they truly care for each other, but it was bad that they were now all so distressed. Heechul didn’t know what to feel. He felt a weight gently leaning on his side and saw Eeteuk closing his eyes next to him. He was worried about Eeteuk. Heechul understood the conflicting emotions of being back on stage after recovering from an accident. It was a mixture of fear, stress and happiness to be finally standing there again. Heechul was just afraid that Eeteuk would collapse from all the stress with returning back to stage and also with Kyuhyun. He knew that Eeteuk would not allow most of them to see him when he was weak. He felt that with his position as a leader, he had to be strong. Heechul turned Eeteuk to face him when tears started flowing. He made no move to wipe the tears away, knowing that the tears were the outlet to the suppressed emotions in Eeteuk.
“Hyung. You cannot notice everything. None of us can. In fact I think the only one who noticed that Kyuhyun had not been calling was Kibum. You cannot juggle so many things even if you want to. Yes you are our leader, and you are to lead us. But like all leaders, they have a team to fall back upon when they get tired, frustrated or just plainly want to run away from all the responsibilities they are entrusted with. You are not alone. You have us here for you.” Heechul looked directly into Eeteuk’s eyes, emotions swirling within his.
“You need to take things step by step. You need to recover fully first before you can concentrate on Kyu. It would do no one good if our Umma falls ill. One failure - let me assure you that you’ve not failed anyone, not me, not Donghae, not Hankyung, not Ryeowook, not Youngwoon, not Jongwoon, not Donghee, not Hyukjae, not Sungmin, not Siwon, not Kibum and not Kyuhyun,” Heechul pointed at every single one of them who was present in the room, “- does not erase all your successes. It does nothing to change the fact that you are our leader, our Umma of Super Junior whom we respect and adore above all other leaders. Nothing will change our belief.”
Heechul stopped there, unable to say anymore without choking.
“Chullie’s right, Teukie. You will be our leader no matter what. We love you regardless.” Hankyung rounded up the sentiments that resonated in everyone’s hearts, even those who were not in the room, even Kyuhyun.
Eeteuk stared, the tears flowing endlessly. “Really?”
“Hyung!” Sungmin sniffed a little as he jumped onto Eeteuk to hug him. Donghae and Eunhyuk followed suit with Siwon, Shindong and Ryeowook right behind them. Hankyung and Kibum also joined in, squashing Heechul in the hug as well.
Eeteuk laughed even as tears rolled down his face. It was the moment that Eeteuk realised just how much he needed them, how much they needed him, and how much they all loved each other; that no matter what, they would always be Super Junior. Eeteuk wished he had a camera to capture the moment, to forever freeze this time in eternity. Yet, somewhere in him Eeteuk was glad that none had a camera at hand. It would have blemished the magical moment and he knew that there was no camera that could portray the moment exactly like it was - their unconditional love for each other, their invisible bonds that held them together, and their willingness to stick to each other through thick and thin, through desolation and bliss. Those were things that nothing besides their mind could capture perfectly.
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Shindong went to carry the extra blankets and pillows present in the dorm to the living room and was laying them out on the floor. He busied himself so that he would not be reminded of the image again. He truly believed that he had made peace with the accident but he was proved wrong today. All he had done was push it all the way to the back of his mind and busied himself with work. He did not sit down and sort through his feelings. Shindong felt that it was time for him to do so. He needed to resolve his own problems before he would be able to help Kyuhyun with his. First he had to come to grips with the fact that there was nothing he could have done at that moment for Kyuhyun. However, it was hard to wrap one’s mind around that concept, especially regarding someone you care truly about. Shindong sighed as he sat down on the blanket. He didn’t know how to go about convincing himself of it. As he sat there, he began observing Sungmin who was lying down on one of the blankets with a towel beneath his head. Sungmin was unusually subdued the past few days. Perhaps it was the performance, perhaps it was about Kyuhyun, but Shindong had missed his dongsaeng’s carefree smile. Shindong wondered what happened.
Sungmin did not notice Shindong’s observation of him. He was just lying on the blanket, staring at the stars through the window. He remembered the time where only Kyuhyun and he were in the dorm. Sungmin had wanted to drag Kyuhyun to the rooftop to enjoy the night sky, but Kyuhyun refused to let Sungmin be in the cold wind as he was sick. So they settled for carrying their pillows and blankets to the living room - just like now - and spreading them out on the living room floor. It was a special moment that was shared between the two of them. At that thought, Sungmin saw the picture of Kyuhyun being pressed against the wall by Jong Ki’s brother flash past his mind. He shook his head. He didn’t want to remember that. As he did, Sungmin finally realised someone was watching him. Shindong-hyung. He gave Shindong a questioning look, wondering why Shindong was staring at him.
Shindong scouted closer before asking, “Sungmin, is there something bothering you?”
As the words came out of Shindong’s mouth, Sungmin felt his tight hold on his emotions loosening. He didn’t want to break down when they were already busy enough with Kyuhyun. But every day when night came, Sungmin found himself staring at the stars, wondering when he would be able to do it again with Kyuhyun. Thus when Shindong asked him, Sungmin finally found an outlet for his emotions.
“There’s nothing I can do for Kyu. I couldn’t help him when he was pushed against the wall. I could only punch that idiot who dared to do such a thing after he let go of Kyuhyunnie. All I want is for Kyuhyun to watch the stars with me again.” Sungmin said, still staring at the stars.
Shindong went to lie beside Sungmin. “Minnie, all of us feel helpless. I know I do. Although I don’t know exactly what you’re referring to, I know that you had done your best at the moment in the situation. Even if it was something like punching that idiot - good one by the way - you still did something. It may not have helped Kyuhyun directly, but it helped.”
Sungmin stared at Shindong.
“Hyung, you should listen to your own words.” Shindong opened his mouth.
“Don’t argue with me. I know you still feel helpless over that day. But like you said, I know that you had done your best at the moment in the situation. I’m sure that Kyuhyun was grateful for you being there, and for you to have reassured him that Teukie-Umma was alright. If you can accept this fact, then I’ll accept it as well. Then both of us shall not dwell on it any longer, but instead, we’ll strive towards being able to do more for Kyuhyun, for anyone else in Super Junior for that matter.” Sungmin spoke seriously, staring at Shindong.
Shindong smiled slightly, amused that his dongsaeng had managed to use his own words against him and that it even made sense. Shindong nodded and both of them made a promise there and then that they would do their best. Then they heard Heechul talking to Eeteuk.
“…One failure - let me assure you that you’ve not failed anyone…”
All of them crowded around the two, nodding their agreement at Heechul’s words. When Eeteuk asked, Sungmin could not hold it in him anymore and jumped onto Eeteuk. Sungmin realised then that though he was not good with words like Heechul-hyung, he could let others know that he cared, that he was there through his actions - hugging. It may be small, but Sungmin knew that it helped.
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Siwon locked himself in the bathroom. He stood under the cold water for a long time hoping to clear his mind of what had happened. He hoped that the ice cold water could shock him awake. Yes he was tired, he wanted to sleep, but Siwon wanted to be wide awake for a while to process everything that had happened. Since the accident, Siwon’s life had been shaken to his foundation. He knew of the crumbling of his fellow mates - from Donghae to Kibum to Heechul and now, even their Umma had crumbled. Siwon didn’t know how to deal with that. He stared at the floor, allowing the water to beat on his back. To Siwon, his world had suddenly opened up, from one that was mostly smooth sailing to one that now consisted of more than just happiness, but also the horrible things that could happen in life. Siwon had stood by the corner when Heechul was comforting Eeteuk. One line that Heechul said had touched him.
“One failure does not erase all your successes.”
Siwon had grown up in a world where everyone around him was almost perfect; making him very fearful of failure and thus unwilling at times to try out new things, to comfort others because he was afraid that he might do the wrong thing. But those words made him understand that families didn’t care about failures. They accepted the good and the bad, not wanting you to change to become someone that you were not. Siwon promised that he would take more initiatives from now on, even if he might be ridiculed, it would all be worth it.
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Eunhyuk sat at one corner in the living room, hugging his pillow. He hated night times. It reminded him too much about the accident. Eunhyuk knew that he had not recovered fully emotionally from the accident as they had not much time to truly go through what had happened. Now the scene earlier had triggered his memory. It kept repeating and repeating in his mind. After the accident, Eunhyuk was very afraid of seeing anybody lying too still. The first thought that would run through his head would be “Is he dead?” Today’s event really gave him a shock. He was extremely grateful for Donghae to be there for him, although Donghae saw a more pitiful sight of Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk looked up from his position and sighed. Sleep was not coming easily tonight.
It had been a stressful day for all of them - performing their dance, finding out that Kyuhyun was home alone, dashing down to the house not caring if they were being rude, searching for Kyuhyun, finally finding him but he was sick and bleeding, calling the doctor, chasing after Eunhyuk, bringing Kyuhyun back with them, and then now, back at the dorm trying to figure out what exactly was their next step. Donghae wished his mind could stop turning for a moment. Just a moment would do. He wanted to go to bed and sleep through the night. He didn’t want to remember about the incident. He didn’t want to remember Eunhyuk’s breakdown. He desperately wanted to believe Eunhyuk’s words that this was all a dream. But Donghae knew that it was not. Donghae cursed Kyuhyun’s mother. How could she have neglected him, especially when he’s still injured? Why bother having the child when you don’t even want to take care of the child? Donghae could not understand the mindset. Having grown up in a family where the parents really treated their children like gifts, Donghae could not fathom such parents. Stop thinking about her. It’s a waste of them. Focus on more important things. Like why Hyukkie is huddling at one corner of the living room.
Donghae walked towards Eunhyuk, sitting down next to him. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
“What about you then?”
“Brain’s working too much. Can’t sleep. Don’t avoid my question. Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
Eunhyuk looked up at Donghae. “Will I ever forget about the incident?”
“You’ll never forget. It will only fade from your conscious memory, but it will forever be there.”
“How do you cope?”
Donghae knew that Eunhyuk was asking about his father. “I distracted myself with work at the start. Distraction does not really work. Time does a lot to tame the incident down. But most importantly I coped because I knew that there will be someone to catch me if I fall.”
Donghae tried to advise Eunhyuk, but it didn’t seem to go well. Eunhyuk smiled, knowing what Donghae was telling about.
“I’ll let time pass and hope that the incident will fade with time.
If at any part of the road I fall, I know Hae will always be there. And if you even need someone, or if you fall, we will be there for you.”
hey!i'm posting the next chapter. finally finished typing. it took me a long time with an injured hand - says the idiot who fell n scrap her knees and injured hand .
before hand i would like to apologise if i typed some things wrongly.
enjoy the story.incase your wondering why not all of them are in this chapter.those not mentioned will definitely appear in the next chapter.
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Kyuhyun is finally home!!!
Arc I Arc II
Both vans headed towards the dormitory where Kyuhyun was staying in. Eeteuk felt that it would be better for Kyuhyun to wake up in a familiar setting - not that Kyuhyun spend time in the other dormitory - but Eeteuk believed that waking up in your own room would be less shocking. Eeteuk stared at Kyuhyun throughout the whole journey, stroking his hair gently. His actions helped soothe the pained lines on Kyuhyun’s face, allowing him to drift into a more comfortable sleep, although his breathing was still a little laboured. The cold pack was kept in place by Kibum, who hoped that it would help to bring the relentless fever down. Kibum hoped that the illness would not put Kyuhyun further back on his road to recovery. Kibum kept glancing up at Eeteuk and then back down at Kyuhyun, opening and closing his mouth, as if he had something to say, but didn’t know how to voice it. Eeteuk did not notice as he concentrated on comforting Kyuhyun. Heechul stared at Kibum, wondering why he was imitating a fish.
“Kibummie, do you want to say something?”
Eeteuk looked up at Kibum, who blinked at Heechul, before turning to face Eeteuk.
“Erm…Eeteuk-hyung, can we…can I stay at your dorm?”
Eeteuk gave Kibum a puzzled look.
“Just until Kyuhyun recovers.” Kibum quickly added, ducking his head shyly afterwards. He was a little embarrassed at making such a request.
Oh. Eeteuk thought. He could understand fully the need to be with Kyuhyun right now. It had been two close calls in a relatively short period of time where they had nearly lost their youngest. They all wanted to make sure that it would not happen again anytime soon. Or better yet, never. Eeteuk nodded his consent. Besides, even if Eeteuk did not feel that way, he would not have been able to reject Kibum’s request when it was made in that manner. Kibum sensed Eeteuk’s consent and gave him a bright smile, despite the relatively sombre atmosphere. The rest in the van smiled, feeling the serious mood dissipate a little. Heechul made eye contact with Eeteuk. No words were exchanged between them as Eeteuk understood Heechul’s unspoken request. Heechul too wanted to stay somewhere close to Kyuhyun. And Heechul knew Eeteuk’s reply.
As they reached the building, Hankyung once again carried Kyuhyun, who remained asleep as Hankyung carried him to his room. Ryeowook dashed in front of Hankyung, clearing the path of obstacles to prevent Hankyung from tripping over anything. He removed the blanket so that Kyuhyun could be placed on the bed. After which, Ryeowook gently tucked Kyuhyun into bed, covering him with the blanket. Only Eeteuk, Hankyung, Ryeowook and Kibum were in the room at the moment. The rest were at the living room, waiting. After all, the room would not fit so many people.
Eeteuk waited till Kyuhyun was properly settled before nudging Hankyung out of the door. Eeteuk wanted to discuss how they should go about taking care of Kyuhyun now that he was home. Kibum and Ryeowook volunteered to take care of Kyuhyun first. Eeteuk nodded. He would have preferred it if everyone was present, but Eeteuk understood the need for someone to be beside Kyuhyun now. He understood the need that Kibum and Ryeowook carried to assure themselves that Kyuhyun was alright - or as good as he can be at the moment - that he was there in front of them. If he could turn back time, Eeteuk would gladly give anything to be the first to find Kyuhyun. Being two of the youngest, Kibum and Ryeowook were not prepared to deal with finding their friend lying so still on the floor - not that any of them would had been prepared for such an incident. It must had have been traumatising for the two who had not experience anything like that before. Not that Eeteuk wished it upon them to experience that, nor had Eeteuk come across such situation before, but somewhere in Eeteuk’s heart, he would have preferred to have found Kyuhyun himself. Eeteuk would willingly shouldered the burden of the disconcerting image of Kyuhyun lying immobile in his own blood than to let anyone else - especially the youngest - carry it. That was who Eeteuk was. He would be perfectly willing to take everything on himself if he could do so.
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Eeteuk and Hankyung entered the living room, where everyone had settled themselves around the coffee table, some on the sofa, some on the floor. They all looked up when the two came into sight. Eeteuk sighed and dropped down next to Siwon on the sofa. Hankyung settled next to Heechul and Donghae on the floor. Eeteuk looked one round across the floor at all of them, sadness showing in his eyes over the situation with Kyuhyun. Yet determination was also clearly visible in his eyes that he - they - were going to do their very best to make the situation better.
“Hyung, before you speak, we would like to say something.” Shindong spoke up. Eeteuk turned towards him.
“We’ve decided on the journey here that we would all be staying here to help take care of Kyuhyun.”
The rest of those who travelled in the same van nodded their agreement to the statement.
Hankyung smiled his first genuine smile for the night, amazed by the love and the telepathy present between the members. Eeteuk too smiled as he nodded. He made a mental note to ask the management if they could all stay in one dorm from then on. He took a deep breath before speaking.
“I know it’s been a long day and that we’re all tired. But we need to decide on what’s our next step. How and what are we going to do to take care of Kyuhyun? As much as I don’t like it, we will not be able to take time off our schedule.”
Silence reigned as each of them tried to think of what they could do.
“Why not we compare our schedule and try to draw up another schedule of which we stagger the timings such that at least one of us can be in the house to take care of Kyuhyun at any one time?” A voice came from one corner of the room.
Everyone’s head turned towards the one who commented.
“That’s a brilliant idea Yesung!” Donghae exclaimed. Shindong, Eunhyuk and Sungmin nodded their consent at that sentence. They all rushed to get their schedule out of their bags.
“Can you get Kibum’s and Ryeowook’s as well, Hankyung, Yesung?” Eeteuk said, remembering that the two were with Kyuhyun.
After collecting their schedules, they sat back in a circle and started mapping out a schedule to see if they could assign at least one person to take care of Kyuhyun at any time of the day. After half an hour of trying to sort of their schedule and co-ordinate twelve people’s work into one, they finally drafted a tentative schedule. They managed to slot at least one person at every time for the next week until their next performance as Super Junior in a week’s time. Hopefully by then Kyuhyun had recovered from his illness, even though they all knew that it would take a much longer time for Kyuhyun to recover fully from the accident and his emotional trauma. It was the best they could manage and that was what they settled for. By then it was past midnight and all of them were tired.
“Okay. It’s time for bed, especially those of you who have an event tomorrow.” Eeteuk stood up, preparing to send them to bed. Then he thought about it for a while and said, “Why not just grab what you need and we’ll all sleep here tonight? Kangin, Hannie and Shindong can push the sofa and table to one corner to make space. I’ll go take over from Kibummie and Wookie.”
Eeteuk could almost hear the sigh of relief echoing in the room as they heard his suggestion. No one wanted to be alone for the night.
Eeteuk started to take a step towards Kyuhyun’s room, but before he could do so, he felt a hand grab his.
“Hyung, you should rest as well. I’ll take over from them and Yesung can relieve me later.” Kangin said. He knew that Eeteuk was tired as well; he was just refusing to show it to them. Eeteuk was still recovering from the accident, despite the fact that he seemed perfectly well - at least compared to Kyuhyun. Yet it did not erase the fact that he was traumatised as well during the accident. All this drama was not good for him, in addition to the performances they had put up for the past few days. It had taken a toll on Eeteuk, seeing how he tired more easily after the performances, always resting during the breaks although he refused to take a single wink in the van. Kangin cut Eeteuk off before he could protest.
“Jungsu, let us take care of Kyuhyun. Have faith in us. You don’t have to carry the entire burden on your shoulders. We are here to share the burden. You have to take care of yourself as well. Who’s gonna care for us if you fall sick?”
Eeteuk closed his mouth as he listened to Kangin. He nodded, touched by the concern that Kangin had for him. He walked towards his room to grab his pillow and blanket as well as a change of clothes to bring to the living room.
They were taking turns at using the toilet as the dormitory was not meant to cater for thirteen people. Eeteuk sat on the floor, leaning against the sofa as well as Heechul, closing his eyes while waiting to use the bathroom. Eeteuk was feeling tired, and his back hurt a little due to over-usage from all the dance practice and performances that they had been doing. All he wanted to do was to drop on his bed and sleep after their performance, but with what happened Eeteuk was afraid that he would not be able to sleep now. He was too worried. Eeteuk knew deep in his heart that it was impossible to take all the burden upon himself, that everyone would have to stand by themselves one day. He could only make sure that he was there for them whenever they needed him - or even times when they didn’t need him. But I have failed Kyu. I didn’t even notice that he had not been calling for the past few days. The tears rolled down his face at that thought.
Heechul sat on the floor drying his hair with his towel. He was not concentrating. The action was purely methodical. Finally Heechul gave up and stared blankly ahead of him. How many times do we have to go through such things before Kyuhyun can begin to heal? Heechul hated the fact that Kyuhyun had to suffer time and time again for them to discover more about his past. If they really knew him, they would not have needed for him to suffer in order for them to uncover his past. Heechul hated the fact that every time when they seemed to have progressed, however little, they would be thrown more than a couple of steps back by another incident. Heechul hated the fact that all of them were depressed over the situation, even the usually cheerful Eeteuk, bubbly Sungmin and energetic Donghae had lost a bit of their shine. It was good that they were saddened as it meant that they truly care for each other, but it was bad that they were now all so distressed. Heechul didn’t know what to feel. He felt a weight gently leaning on his side and saw Eeteuk closing his eyes next to him. He was worried about Eeteuk. Heechul understood the conflicting emotions of being back on stage after recovering from an accident. It was a mixture of fear, stress and happiness to be finally standing there again. Heechul was just afraid that Eeteuk would collapse from all the stress with returning back to stage and also with Kyuhyun. He knew that Eeteuk would not allow most of them to see him when he was weak. He felt that with his position as a leader, he had to be strong. Heechul turned Eeteuk to face him when tears started flowing. He made no move to wipe the tears away, knowing that the tears were the outlet to the suppressed emotions in Eeteuk.
“Hyung. You cannot notice everything. None of us can. In fact I think the only one who noticed that Kyuhyun had not been calling was Kibum. You cannot juggle so many things even if you want to. Yes you are our leader, and you are to lead us. But like all leaders, they have a team to fall back upon when they get tired, frustrated or just plainly want to run away from all the responsibilities they are entrusted with. You are not alone. You have us here for you.” Heechul looked directly into Eeteuk’s eyes, emotions swirling within his.
“You need to take things step by step. You need to recover fully first before you can concentrate on Kyu. It would do no one good if our Umma falls ill. One failure - let me assure you that you’ve not failed anyone, not me, not Donghae, not Hankyung, not Ryeowook, not Youngwoon, not Jongwoon, not Donghee, not Hyukjae, not Sungmin, not Siwon, not Kibum and not Kyuhyun,” Heechul pointed at every single one of them who was present in the room, “- does not erase all your successes. It does nothing to change the fact that you are our leader, our Umma of Super Junior whom we respect and adore above all other leaders. Nothing will change our belief.”
Heechul stopped there, unable to say anymore without choking.
“Chullie’s right, Teukie. You will be our leader no matter what. We love you regardless.” Hankyung rounded up the sentiments that resonated in everyone’s hearts, even those who were not in the room, even Kyuhyun.
Eeteuk stared, the tears flowing endlessly. “Really?”
“Hyung!” Sungmin sniffed a little as he jumped onto Eeteuk to hug him. Donghae and Eunhyuk followed suit with Siwon, Shindong and Ryeowook right behind them. Hankyung and Kibum also joined in, squashing Heechul in the hug as well.
Eeteuk laughed even as tears rolled down his face. It was the moment that Eeteuk realised just how much he needed them, how much they needed him, and how much they all loved each other; that no matter what, they would always be Super Junior. Eeteuk wished he had a camera to capture the moment, to forever freeze this time in eternity. Yet, somewhere in him Eeteuk was glad that none had a camera at hand. It would have blemished the magical moment and he knew that there was no camera that could portray the moment exactly like it was - their unconditional love for each other, their invisible bonds that held them together, and their willingness to stick to each other through thick and thin, through desolation and bliss. Those were things that nothing besides their mind could capture perfectly.
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Shindong went to carry the extra blankets and pillows present in the dorm to the living room and was laying them out on the floor. He busied himself so that he would not be reminded of the image again. He truly believed that he had made peace with the accident but he was proved wrong today. All he had done was push it all the way to the back of his mind and busied himself with work. He did not sit down and sort through his feelings. Shindong felt that it was time for him to do so. He needed to resolve his own problems before he would be able to help Kyuhyun with his. First he had to come to grips with the fact that there was nothing he could have done at that moment for Kyuhyun. However, it was hard to wrap one’s mind around that concept, especially regarding someone you care truly about. Shindong sighed as he sat down on the blanket. He didn’t know how to go about convincing himself of it. As he sat there, he began observing Sungmin who was lying down on one of the blankets with a towel beneath his head. Sungmin was unusually subdued the past few days. Perhaps it was the performance, perhaps it was about Kyuhyun, but Shindong had missed his dongsaeng’s carefree smile. Shindong wondered what happened.
Sungmin did not notice Shindong’s observation of him. He was just lying on the blanket, staring at the stars through the window. He remembered the time where only Kyuhyun and he were in the dorm. Sungmin had wanted to drag Kyuhyun to the rooftop to enjoy the night sky, but Kyuhyun refused to let Sungmin be in the cold wind as he was sick. So they settled for carrying their pillows and blankets to the living room - just like now - and spreading them out on the living room floor. It was a special moment that was shared between the two of them. At that thought, Sungmin saw the picture of Kyuhyun being pressed against the wall by Jong Ki’s brother flash past his mind. He shook his head. He didn’t want to remember that. As he did, Sungmin finally realised someone was watching him. Shindong-hyung. He gave Shindong a questioning look, wondering why Shindong was staring at him.
Shindong scouted closer before asking, “Sungmin, is there something bothering you?”
As the words came out of Shindong’s mouth, Sungmin felt his tight hold on his emotions loosening. He didn’t want to break down when they were already busy enough with Kyuhyun. But every day when night came, Sungmin found himself staring at the stars, wondering when he would be able to do it again with Kyuhyun. Thus when Shindong asked him, Sungmin finally found an outlet for his emotions.
“There’s nothing I can do for Kyu. I couldn’t help him when he was pushed against the wall. I could only punch that idiot who dared to do such a thing after he let go of Kyuhyunnie. All I want is for Kyuhyun to watch the stars with me again.” Sungmin said, still staring at the stars.
Shindong went to lie beside Sungmin. “Minnie, all of us feel helpless. I know I do. Although I don’t know exactly what you’re referring to, I know that you had done your best at the moment in the situation. Even if it was something like punching that idiot - good one by the way - you still did something. It may not have helped Kyuhyun directly, but it helped.”
Sungmin stared at Shindong.
“Hyung, you should listen to your own words.” Shindong opened his mouth.
“Don’t argue with me. I know you still feel helpless over that day. But like you said, I know that you had done your best at the moment in the situation. I’m sure that Kyuhyun was grateful for you being there, and for you to have reassured him that Teukie-Umma was alright. If you can accept this fact, then I’ll accept it as well. Then both of us shall not dwell on it any longer, but instead, we’ll strive towards being able to do more for Kyuhyun, for anyone else in Super Junior for that matter.” Sungmin spoke seriously, staring at Shindong.
Shindong smiled slightly, amused that his dongsaeng had managed to use his own words against him and that it even made sense. Shindong nodded and both of them made a promise there and then that they would do their best. Then they heard Heechul talking to Eeteuk.
“…One failure - let me assure you that you’ve not failed anyone…”
All of them crowded around the two, nodding their agreement at Heechul’s words. When Eeteuk asked, Sungmin could not hold it in him anymore and jumped onto Eeteuk. Sungmin realised then that though he was not good with words like Heechul-hyung, he could let others know that he cared, that he was there through his actions - hugging. It may be small, but Sungmin knew that it helped.
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Siwon locked himself in the bathroom. He stood under the cold water for a long time hoping to clear his mind of what had happened. He hoped that the ice cold water could shock him awake. Yes he was tired, he wanted to sleep, but Siwon wanted to be wide awake for a while to process everything that had happened. Since the accident, Siwon’s life had been shaken to his foundation. He knew of the crumbling of his fellow mates - from Donghae to Kibum to Heechul and now, even their Umma had crumbled. Siwon didn’t know how to deal with that. He stared at the floor, allowing the water to beat on his back. To Siwon, his world had suddenly opened up, from one that was mostly smooth sailing to one that now consisted of more than just happiness, but also the horrible things that could happen in life. Siwon had stood by the corner when Heechul was comforting Eeteuk. One line that Heechul said had touched him.
“One failure does not erase all your successes.”
Siwon had grown up in a world where everyone around him was almost perfect; making him very fearful of failure and thus unwilling at times to try out new things, to comfort others because he was afraid that he might do the wrong thing. But those words made him understand that families didn’t care about failures. They accepted the good and the bad, not wanting you to change to become someone that you were not. Siwon promised that he would take more initiatives from now on, even if he might be ridiculed, it would all be worth it.
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Eunhyuk sat at one corner in the living room, hugging his pillow. He hated night times. It reminded him too much about the accident. Eunhyuk knew that he had not recovered fully emotionally from the accident as they had not much time to truly go through what had happened. Now the scene earlier had triggered his memory. It kept repeating and repeating in his mind. After the accident, Eunhyuk was very afraid of seeing anybody lying too still. The first thought that would run through his head would be “Is he dead?” Today’s event really gave him a shock. He was extremely grateful for Donghae to be there for him, although Donghae saw a more pitiful sight of Eunhyuk. Eunhyuk looked up from his position and sighed. Sleep was not coming easily tonight.
It had been a stressful day for all of them - performing their dance, finding out that Kyuhyun was home alone, dashing down to the house not caring if they were being rude, searching for Kyuhyun, finally finding him but he was sick and bleeding, calling the doctor, chasing after Eunhyuk, bringing Kyuhyun back with them, and then now, back at the dorm trying to figure out what exactly was their next step. Donghae wished his mind could stop turning for a moment. Just a moment would do. He wanted to go to bed and sleep through the night. He didn’t want to remember about the incident. He didn’t want to remember Eunhyuk’s breakdown. He desperately wanted to believe Eunhyuk’s words that this was all a dream. But Donghae knew that it was not. Donghae cursed Kyuhyun’s mother. How could she have neglected him, especially when he’s still injured? Why bother having the child when you don’t even want to take care of the child? Donghae could not understand the mindset. Having grown up in a family where the parents really treated their children like gifts, Donghae could not fathom such parents. Stop thinking about her. It’s a waste of them. Focus on more important things. Like why Hyukkie is huddling at one corner of the living room.
Donghae walked towards Eunhyuk, sitting down next to him. “Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
“What about you then?”
“Brain’s working too much. Can’t sleep. Don’t avoid my question. Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
Eunhyuk looked up at Donghae. “Will I ever forget about the incident?”
“You’ll never forget. It will only fade from your conscious memory, but it will forever be there.”
“How do you cope?”
Donghae knew that Eunhyuk was asking about his father. “I distracted myself with work at the start. Distraction does not really work. Time does a lot to tame the incident down. But most importantly I coped because I knew that there will be someone to catch me if I fall.”
Donghae tried to advise Eunhyuk, but it didn’t seem to go well. Eunhyuk smiled, knowing what Donghae was telling about.
“I’ll let time pass and hope that the incident will fade with time.
If at any part of the road I fall, I know Hae will always be there. And if you even need someone, or if you fall, we will be there for you.”
hey!i'm posting the next chapter. finally finished typing. it took me a long time with an injured hand - says the idiot who fell n scrap her knees and injured hand .
before hand i would like to apologise if i typed some things wrongly.
enjoy the story.incase your wondering why not all of them are in this chapter.those not mentioned will definitely appear in the next chapter.