Fic: Time and Eternity

[versifico]

Title: Time and Eternity
Author: versifico
Rating: Maybe PG-13 for reference to sexuality
Pairing: W/E for now. Bear with me- will be J/E in a few chapters.
Disclaimer: They're not mine- I just like to play with them.
Summary: Elizabeth learns what it's like to live the fairytale.
First chapter of what will be a long, plotty fic. In which Elizabeth

Comments

[erinya]

This is so lovely and sad I don't even have words. Amazing work--the wedding scene is particularly effective, but also the way you've drawn her new life with Will, the good parts and the hard parts and her determination to make it work. (I wasn't even reading this as pre-J/E--I didn't read the header fully at first and thought it was a one-shot. I'm delighted there is more to come.)

The shoreline is dangerously beautiful, drawing her eye like a jeweled necklace dangling between sky and earth. On windier days, if she opens the windows just so, she can stand with her face to the gust and nearly taste the salt on her lips. But the horizon is farther away than ever, and she is just a foolish woman with her face turned to the sun.

That's so gorgeous, vivid and sensual--I particularly like the image of her trying to catch a taste of the sea.

She’s never played this part before; she knows how to be the high-born lady and even the pirate, but not the poor smithy’s housewife.

Indeed.

[versifico]

I would like to say how much I always appreciate the swiftness of your replies *G* Such a huge boost right after posting!

Shame on you for not reading the header! *g* It's great, to me, that you could read this as a one-shot W/E. I don't want to show that she is with Will only as a means to an end; he is much more than that to her. Jack will be a separate chapter in her life and, consequently, in this story.

That's so gorgeous, vivid and sensual--I particularly like the image of her trying to catch a taste of the sea.

Glad you liked this particular part...it's my favorite as well.

Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback!

[erinya]

Well, you see, there are certain authors whose fic I pounce on as soon as I see it, and it's easy to respond quickly when the writing is so good and so emotionally affecting. :-)

I'm glad you acknowledge Elizabeth's real love for Will. It makes it all so much more bittersweet and complicated.

[versifico]

"Well, you see, there are certain authors whose fic I pounce on as soon as I see it, and it's easy to respond quickly when the writing is so good and so emotionally affecting. :-)"

That means a lot, thank you :) *squishes*

[hereswith]

This is wonderful. You've given us glimpses of Elizabeth's mother here that makes me quite curious, like this: ...a strange and faraway look in her eyes as she stared, transfixed, at the horizon. As a child, she’d never guessed at her mother’s thoughts that day; as an adult, she knows the expression of longing. So, she didn't die, she left. Interesting...

The description of her life with Will is, like erinya mentioned, really effective, how hard she tries to make it work, to not be like her mother. And there are many little things that tug at my heart: Elizabeth remembering her father at the wedding, Will shaking so badly the first time they make love, the fact that she doesn't have the funds to replace her books, and how the horizon is farther away than ever, and she is just a foolish woman with her face turned to the sun.

Looking forward to more!

[versifico]

This is wonderful. You've given us glimpses of Elizabeth's mother here that makes me quite curious,

I've fallen quite in love with Elizabeth's mother. She's practically a real person to me now. I can't wait to share her with everyone *g*

Thanks for the encouraging and detailed feedback- it's very appreciated!

[ladyofthesilent]

Wow - I'm speechless!

Like erinya, I didn't read this as pre-J/E, but as a one-shot, and it actually worked for me that way, too.

I really liked how you portrayed the W/E relationship, since it lacks depth in far too many J/E stories. Both Will and Elizabeth were totally in-character, and I love how you showed their mutual love and determination to make their relationship work.

Paralleling Elizabeth's story to her mother's is an interesting thought, and it certainly worked for me. I cannot wait for this to continue!

Great work!

[versifico]

Will and Elizabeth were totally in-character

Thank you! I've only recently started exploring Will's character, so your comment is very encouraging.

Thanks for the comment; I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[salr323]

Wonderful! This is a beautiful start. I particularly liked this:

Her own marriage brings thoughts of her mother to the forefront of Elizabeth’s consciousness, along with the painful memories of the months after she left.

She sees her father in Will, which is perhaps why it has always been impossible to let him go.

A lovely, understated way to explain both her sense of duty to Will and her yearning for the freedom her mother took. And leaves us with the question of how, and when, she'll seek her own freedom...

I hope more is on the way! :)

[versifico]

I'm pleased that you quoted the last couple of paragraphs, because I really struggled with the ending of this part. Thanks for that, and for the lovely feedback :)

[comava]

Oh, this is just lovely. I'm very interested to see how this will go on, I hope we'll find out more about her mother.

You almost make me hope she won't end up with Jack because the W/E relationship here is sort of fragile and has a deeper meaning, because she isn't just staying not to hurt him and out of duty.

But I said almost. I'm sure I'll eat my words after the next few chapters..!

Psst - Will’s shake so badlythat he... I assume that's suppost to be Will's hand?

[versifico]

You will most definitely find out more about her mother, and very soon!

I'm glad that you appreciated the W/E relationship in this part. From what we've seen of Elizabeth, I think it's only reasonable to assume that she'd try her best to make things work with Will. As much as she is intrigued by a life of freedom (and by Jack), she keeps coming back to him. Driven by love, in part, and also by events in her past. That's my theory, at least *g*.

Thanks for the comment, and thanks SO MUCH for pointing out the typo! LJ is killing me today...this is probably the 30th time I've had to edit. Grrr.

[comava]

No problem! LJ was pissing me off too.

I like your theory. :-)