Ficlet: Gone, But (Lilly) PG
Title: Gone, But
Author: sadiekate
Pairing/Character: Lilly
Word Count: 800ish
Rating: PG
Summary: Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily.
Spoilers/Warnings: Lilly's dead. Is that spoilery? Eh, better say through 2.01 to be safe.
Author's Note: Because I miss Lilly, and we don't think about ehr that much anymore.
Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily.
* * *
She’s a ghost that no one really sees anymore, and it pisses her off. She is a blur of a memory, leading Veronica away from more crashes and towards new mysteries, but she can’t remember the last time her name has passed anyone’s lips. She is crocheted ponchos and Ugg boots and boho chic; trends that just seem silly in retrospect.
And that’s not right, because Lilly always thought she was a classic; Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O.
The funny thing is, now it’s like nothing has changed when everything has; Duncan and Veronica are together again, golden and bland and sweet as sugar cookies, and they still don’t seem to realize there’s still a missing ingredient. Logan’s still drowning his sorrows in flesh and destruction, only it’s not her skin his fingers are sinking into.
Even if he still wanted to hold onto her, it’s not like there’s anything to touch anymore. It’s not like there’s anything left of her that she didn’t throw away.
It doesn’t surprise Lilly that she’s still around, even with unfinished business dispensed of and locked up tight. Lilly liked to live her life the way she wanted, and she kind of liked everyone else to live their lives by her rules, too. She never saw a pot that she didn’t like to stir, and there’s still so much potential for catastrophe here, that she’s finding it hard to turn away.
But it’s not easy when she’s being ignored.
* * *
Lilly can still get inside people’s heads, even if they don’t realize she’s there.
Duncan’s sleep is always dreamless, and she’s hard-pressed to figure out if there’s something buried deeper; she’s pretty sure her particular set of ghostly powers doesn’t include omniscience, and even if it did, she doubts it would make a difference with him. Something in him has wiped his slate clean of anything bad, and that includes Lilly, because even if she didn’t set out to be a fuckup, she never was a good girl.
Veronica is dreamless too, but it’s less a forgetting and more the building of some kind of wall. Lilly can’t blame her for shutting down a little, can forgive a lot more of the person who like, avenged her, or whatever. She doesn’t doubt she could push through, make Veronica remember her again. But it’s not like the girl doesn’t have enough on her plate.
It really sucks that this whole death thing apparently came with a conscience.
Logan dreams, though, and he is totally the son of movie stars; it is all Technicolor and on-site locations and sweeping epic kisses while the music swells, with a blonde girl who isn’t Lilly, dammit. This is the lack of attention that pains her the most. They were alike, the two of them, and he wasn’t supposed to move past so quickly. She had kind of ruined his life, so that should count for something. He shouldn’t have been able to lay the blame at the feet of another girl who had done nothing but expose the truth. Maybe it's selfish of her to think so, or whatever, but he really shouldn’t have been able to sweep Lilly under the rug along with everything she broke.
Okay, so it’s not like she grew a total conscience.
* * *
Passage of time is different when you’re a ghost; when you live, you’re alert through just about anything that pertains to you, because it’s your life, and you’re in the middle of it. When you’re dead, it’s like suspended animation; you only become aware when someone’s thinking about you hard enough to stir something across astral planes or whatever (death hadn’t made her very good at physics, either).
And Lilly wasn’t aware as much, and she knew that’s because people were less aware of her with each passing day. And it’s funny that the whole death thing hadn’t really bothered her till now, but maybe that’s because it was over so quickly. This lingering and fading was like a cancer; drawn out. They were excising her from their lives, and it wasn’t fair, because she had always called the shots. She wasn’t used to being thrown out of parties.
Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily. Never expected that the damage would linger but no one would recall the source. Never expected that the world would keep on turning, taking her farther away from the center where she always thought she’d be.
She was gone, but not forgotten.
She was gone, but not.
She was gone, but.
She was gone.
Author: sadiekate
Pairing/Character: Lilly
Word Count: 800ish
Rating: PG
Summary: Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily.
Spoilers/Warnings: Lilly's dead. Is that spoilery? Eh, better say through 2.01 to be safe.
Author's Note: Because I miss Lilly, and we don't think about ehr that much anymore.
Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily.
* * *
She’s a ghost that no one really sees anymore, and it pisses her off. She is a blur of a memory, leading Veronica away from more crashes and towards new mysteries, but she can’t remember the last time her name has passed anyone’s lips. She is crocheted ponchos and Ugg boots and boho chic; trends that just seem silly in retrospect.
And that’s not right, because Lilly always thought she was a classic; Audrey Hepburn and Jackie O.
The funny thing is, now it’s like nothing has changed when everything has; Duncan and Veronica are together again, golden and bland and sweet as sugar cookies, and they still don’t seem to realize there’s still a missing ingredient. Logan’s still drowning his sorrows in flesh and destruction, only it’s not her skin his fingers are sinking into.
Even if he still wanted to hold onto her, it’s not like there’s anything to touch anymore. It’s not like there’s anything left of her that she didn’t throw away.
It doesn’t surprise Lilly that she’s still around, even with unfinished business dispensed of and locked up tight. Lilly liked to live her life the way she wanted, and she kind of liked everyone else to live their lives by her rules, too. She never saw a pot that she didn’t like to stir, and there’s still so much potential for catastrophe here, that she’s finding it hard to turn away.
But it’s not easy when she’s being ignored.
* * *
Lilly can still get inside people’s heads, even if they don’t realize she’s there.
Duncan’s sleep is always dreamless, and she’s hard-pressed to figure out if there’s something buried deeper; she’s pretty sure her particular set of ghostly powers doesn’t include omniscience, and even if it did, she doubts it would make a difference with him. Something in him has wiped his slate clean of anything bad, and that includes Lilly, because even if she didn’t set out to be a fuckup, she never was a good girl.
Veronica is dreamless too, but it’s less a forgetting and more the building of some kind of wall. Lilly can’t blame her for shutting down a little, can forgive a lot more of the person who like, avenged her, or whatever. She doesn’t doubt she could push through, make Veronica remember her again. But it’s not like the girl doesn’t have enough on her plate.
It really sucks that this whole death thing apparently came with a conscience.
Logan dreams, though, and he is totally the son of movie stars; it is all Technicolor and on-site locations and sweeping epic kisses while the music swells, with a blonde girl who isn’t Lilly, dammit. This is the lack of attention that pains her the most. They were alike, the two of them, and he wasn’t supposed to move past so quickly. She had kind of ruined his life, so that should count for something. He shouldn’t have been able to lay the blame at the feet of another girl who had done nothing but expose the truth. Maybe it's selfish of her to think so, or whatever, but he really shouldn’t have been able to sweep Lilly under the rug along with everything she broke.
Okay, so it’s not like she grew a total conscience.
* * *
Passage of time is different when you’re a ghost; when you live, you’re alert through just about anything that pertains to you, because it’s your life, and you’re in the middle of it. When you’re dead, it’s like suspended animation; you only become aware when someone’s thinking about you hard enough to stir something across astral planes or whatever (death hadn’t made her very good at physics, either).
And Lilly wasn’t aware as much, and she knew that’s because people were less aware of her with each passing day. And it’s funny that the whole death thing hadn’t really bothered her till now, but maybe that’s because it was over so quickly. This lingering and fading was like a cancer; drawn out. They were excising her from their lives, and it wasn’t fair, because she had always called the shots. She wasn’t used to being thrown out of parties.
Lilly never expected this, never expected to be forgotten so easily. Never expected that the damage would linger but no one would recall the source. Never expected that the world would keep on turning, taking her farther away from the center where she always thought she’d be.
She was gone, but not forgotten.
She was gone, but not.
She was gone, but.
She was gone.