(Im)Perfection (L/V, D/V, L/H) NC-17
Title: (Im)Perfection (1b/1)
Author: Me
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20125 total (I couldn't fit it all in one post), this section: 8546
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Logan/Veronica, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Hannah
Note: Future-fic. Also? Seriously AU after “One Angry Veronica.” Like, this is some AU-ing shit. Ruined lives and bloodshed AU. Fucked up AU. Example? Duncan didn’t leave Neptune, and he and Veronica stayed together. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t judge.
2. The format of the fic is weird, I didn’t really set a time period for each segment. Hopefully, it’s clear when each part occurred, but for the most part, it’s just supposed to be a jumble of events in a five-year span.
3. Special thanks goes to my beta solflower22. I loves you!
Written for the loveathons “Lessons Learned” challenge.
Summary: The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. -- John Powell
Veronica stared at Faith as she slept, her eyes narrowing slightly. The girl was all blonde and all Meg. Even her face was all Meg, she didn’t see Duncan in there anywhere. Her attitude was bright, sunny Meg, and Veronica was convinced no one was going to be fooled. No one was going to think that this child was the product of two sullen people.
How was it that she ended up being “mommy?” It was unfair.
Duncan was a good father, he had the patience for it. She, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to be a “mommy” to anyone. She was too young, and every time Faith said the word, she wanted to throw up.
“Come to bed.”
Veronica looked up, catching Duncan watching her at the door. She smiled slightly, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. “Stalking me?”
“Trying to find you. You were just sitting there, staring off into space.” He held out his hand, and she took it. “Where did you go?” he asked as he led her toward their bedroom.
“When?”
“When you were in Faith’s room. Your mind wasn’t there.” He wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked into their bedroom, planting a soft kiss in her hair. “What were you thinking about?”
Veronica shrugged. “I wasn’t thinking at all.”
A couple of silent minutes later, and they were in bed, checking out what was on television. She smiled slightly as Duncan hugged her from behind, settling on a rerun of Letterman. He chuckled at the show as he rubbed her hip soothingly and she was sure then that this was how she could live her life.
“Duncan,” she whispered, wanting then to change it all, to make it all better. She couldn’t sneak around with Logan forever- he was never going to grow up. She might as well try to make this all better. “Can we...”
He smiled, kissing her neck gently. “Can we what?”
A blush settled on her face, wishing that he would just get the hint. “Can we...can you...you know.”
“You want to make love?”
Veronica couldn’t help the cringe that fell on her face, and she was grateful that Duncan couldn’t see her. “No...”
“Then what?”
She swallowed the insult that threatened to fly out at his denseness, and she stiffened up against his touch. She wanted to have some loud, wild fun, and he definitely wasn’t getting the hint. “Nevermind,” she said quietly, yanking the comforter over her body. “I’m going to bed.”
Duncan frowned, propping himself up on his elbow. “Veronica, what-” His eyes widened in realization. “Oh. You wanted to fuck?”
“Maybe.”
He laughed, embarrassed, as he shook his head. “Honey, we can’t. Faith is in the next room. She’ll wake up.”
Veronica inhaled sharply, resisting the urge to inform him that they had never fucked a day in their relationship, as well as the urge to ask him when they were going to start to act their ages. She was so sick of being a parent, of acting like an old housewife. But instead of saying any of this, she settled on- “Fine. Good night.”
Duncan sighed, flopping on his back. “Veronica. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not. Night.”
* * * * *
Veronica let out a loud groan, her nails digging into the table as Logan fucked her from behind. He grabbed her hips, jerking her back hard and she nearly screamed, her forehead hitting the coffee table. Her back arched and her hips rolled as she reached behind, feeling for his waist and pulling him deeper inside her.
The sex was always better when they were bickering, and now was no exception.
He had picked a fight and she had readily delivered with enough spite and sexual frustration for him to notice, and her new designer pants were at her ankles in under ten minutes. A year of want and tension and desire and Veronica felt like he was going to send her to a certain limbo where she didn’t have to be some kid’s mother and a glorified trophy wife and she welcomed it. This was what she wanted, something rough and fun and quick and real. So did he. It was perfect.
Logan leaned forward, covering her body with his as he continued to thrust. His eyes fell on her diamond ring, and he quickly covered it with his hand. His other hand slipped between her legs and she cried out loudly, her hips jerking against his.
He smiled slightly, his lips brushing against her bare neck. “You like that?” he grunted.
“Yes.” She moaned, grabbing at his neck and pulling his mouth down to hers.
“Did you miss me?” he breathed against her mouth, and she quickly nodded, kissing him hard.
Logan pulled out of Veronica, and she licked her lips, her hands shaking as she yanked off her pants and underwear, turning to face him. He grinned, kissing her softly as he pushed her on the coffee table, his hands running over her breasts. She nearly whimpered, her feet bracing against the edge of the table as he entered her again, her back arching at the impact.
He was fucking her fast and hard now, not stopping as she cried out, her nails digging into his back. He grabbed her hips, jerking her up into a seated position, and she followed, wrapping her legs around his hips.
“I want you to tell him about us,” he panted, and she inhaled sharply, driving her hips against his. “I want you to tell him about how hard I fuck you, and how many times you come-”
Veronica’s eyes shut tightly, trying to drown him out. She felt guilty enough as it was, she didn’t need him driving it home when she was so close to coming. Her eyes opened and met his, a small smile on her face. “Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to make me come, because I’m getting bored.”
He grinned, kissing her hard as he drove into her once, then twice, hard. Her screams were muffled by his mouth, and he reached between their bodies, pressing his fingers against her clit as he thrust hard into her faster, harder.
Her back arched as she came, her toes curling and she could’ve sworn she pulled something as her body strained with each wave as he kept thrusting. She clutched at his back, jerking her hips roughly until he groaned, coming hard inside her.
“Eight out of ten,” Veronica said breathlessly with a smile.
Logan frowned slightly. “Eight?”
“You lose points for ripping my underwear.”
“Ah. Damn.” His mouth brushed over her cheek before he kissed the spot just below her ear. “Did you think of me?” He whispered in her ear.
She swallowed hard, her hands running down his back as the high faded. “Yes.”
The smile was genuine now, and he kissed her cheek again. “Good.”
* * * * *
Duncan and Veronica’s sex life was less than stellar, mostly due to the fact that Veronica was so damn tired all the time.
He cheated on her once, with a co-worker at Kane Software, after Veronica rejected his advances for what felt like the one hundredth time. He felt guilty afterwards and immediately told her. To his surprise, she promptly forgave him. He wondered how he managed to get the most understanding, caring woman ever.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
Logan got a girlfriend about a year after Veronica and Duncan got engaged, roughly six months after his return. It was right around the time Veronica had gathered up the nerve to leave Duncan and Faith in order to join Logan in his life of travel and abandon.
Her name was Hannah, some girl who had also went to Neptune High, had just graduated and was about to attend San Diego University. She was excellent with Faith, and was going to school to become a teacher, with dance as her minor. She was tall and blonde and funny and sweet and a perfect mix of Veronica and Lilly.
Duncan loved her. Veronica hated her.
Hannah told the story of how she and Logan met constantly, boasting about her bravery in approaching him, and Logan always good-naturedly called her “the dude.” They were an almost perfect match, her sweet to his snarky, her quiet to his loud, she the light to his dark.
Duncan’s announcement that Veronica had gotten a new job working at the local newspaper was outshone by Hannah’s announcement that she and Logan were moving in together. Duncan thought she was adorable, Veronica thought she was unbearably young and stupid.
Veronica struggled to not roll her eyes at Hannah’s continuous stories and adoring gazes in Logan’s direction. The only story refrained from making Hannah giggle in that annoying way of hers was the one about how her father disapproved of Logan.
Duncan remarked that her father was a smart man. Logan wasn’t so amused.
Hannah also boasted about Logan’s book, calling it a masterpiece in the making. She threatened to send it to every publisher in the United States, and Logan claimed he would do it before she got her grubby little hands on it.
Veronica was somewhat insulted that she had never heard of a book before Hannah came into the picture.
Hannah seemed to think the majority of the book was about her, and told anyone who asked about it. Logan didn’t bother to correct her, she looked too happy and he didn’t want to disappoint yet another person.
At one of Duncan’s dinner parties, Hannah laughed as she told Duncan about a passage of the book in which the female lead and the protagonist avoid talking about their first accidental kiss, with Hannah wondering where Logan got such an imagination from. She then preceded to tell patient Duncan about the first time they really kissed, in the rain, outside her father’s house.
Veronica scowled at Hannah from across the table, clutching her fork tightly in her hand. The scowl faded as she caught Logan giving her the same hard look from across the table, his arm wrapped loosely around Hannah’s chair.
She tried to ignore Hannah’s hand rubbing Logan’s leg under the table, and when she met Logan’s glare, the look in his eyes was evident: This is all because of you.
* * * * *
Logan chewed on the last of his bread stick, wiping his hands on his jeans. He gazed at Veronica, sitting across from him, a half-eaten slice in her hand. An offer to help unpack turned into a long, awkward and silent lunch. Fun, fun, fun. “Like it?”
She glanced around the bare apartment, focusing on the still unpacked boxes spread around the room, labeled in red marker in Hannah’s annoyingly bubbly font. This was the third time they had moved in three years, just because Logan claimed to hate every single apartment. However, she knew it was because he couldn’t stay put too long before getting bored.
Veronica cringed playfully. “A fireplace, Logan? Really?”
He smirked. “It doesn’t work, but don’t tell Hannah that. She’s all about the damn Yule Log.” He paused as he spotted Veronica’s flinch at the mere mention of Hannah’s name, and he sighed, once again uncomfortable. “Well? Thoughts.”
She nodded. “It’s nice. Considering.”
A smile perked on his lips. “Considering what?”
Veronica shrugged as he stood, walking over to the table by the door. “Considering you’ve lived here for, like, two weeks and haven’t unpacked yet.”
“Hey, we got the bed up,” he reminded her simply.
She was quiet for a moment, throwing down her pizza with a shake of her head. “There’s that,” she said with a forced smile.
Logan licked his lips, picking up the stack of envelopes on the table. “We’ve been so busy- we haven’t even checked our mail. Thank God for Hannah, I never would’ve remembered to change addresses.”
“You’re lucky one of you is responsible.”
He winked at her knowingly before looking through the mail, throwing down what wasn’t his on the table. “Junk, junk, junk, bill...” He frowned slightly, throwing down the other mail and focusing on one envelope.
Veronica watched as he hurriedly opened the envelope, reading. “What?”
He rushed at Veronica, his eyes wide. He held up the piece of paper, waving it in her face. “God dammit, Veronica- they bought my book.”
Her mouth dropped as she jumped to her feet, grabbing at the paper. “No.”
“Yes!”
She laughed, squealing as he scooped her up in his arms, spinning them both around. She hugged him tightly, elated that he had done this all on his own, with no help from anyone. He had accomplished something, and she was so very proud of him-
“What’s going on?”
Logan and Veronica separated, and Veronica couldn’t help the annoyance that coursed through her at the sight of Hannah at the front door.
Logan gave Veronica a tight smile before facing Hannah, holding up the paper. “Remember that manuscript I showed you? The one I’ve been writing for, like, years?” She nodded. “Well, I got this letter-”
Hannah gasped. “Oh my God, someone bought it!” He nodded wildly and she screamed, jumping into his arms.
Veronica stood there, even more annoyed that Hannah chose to steal Logan’s thunder by way of interruption. She was dismayed that Logan didn’t even seem to care as he stumbled back, Hannah in his arms and her legs around his waist as she kissed him wildly.
Hannah grabbed onto the sides of Logan’s face, pressing her forehead against his. “I’m so proud of you, Logan. You did it.” She sighed, kissing him softly. “I’m so, so proud of you.”
Veronica’s lips pressed together tightly as she grabbed her jacket, heading for the front door. She went unnoticed in Logan and Hannah’s private celebration, and she swung the door open, pausing as Hannah’s word echoed in the room and in her brain.
“I’m so proud of you, Logan, you did it...”
* * * * *
Logan’s book was on the bestseller’s list a week after its release, and it climbed to number one in the two weeks that followed. Everyone wanted to read the debut novel from Aaron Echolls’ son, and, clearly, Logan didn’t disappoint.
The Washington Times called it “a promising debut from a solid writer.” Newsweek called it “heart wrenching and brutally real with a superb comic prose.” Entertainment Weekly wondered “where has this talent been hiding all these years?”
Logan appeared on various talk shows, smiling at the giggling reporters who asked him just who he was writing about. He always responded with the same, coy answer: “She knows who she is.” He brushed over the criticism about the book’s open-ended conclusion, claiming that he wouldn’t write an ending to a story that wasn’t finished, that the readers should make up their own minds as to what happened to the characters.
Logan sent Duncan a personalized first-edition copy of the book right before it was released. Veronica never saw Duncan read it.
Veronica tried not to be insulted that he didn’t send her a copy, but that cutting pain disappeared when she spotted a plain cardboard box in front of her office. Inside was a copy of Logan’s book, first-edition and with different artwork than what was on the stands.
She sat down at her desk, forgoing her increasing amount of work to just stare at the book. She opened it up, surprised when an envelope fell out from underneath the jacket flap. She opened up the envelope and found a plane ticket. One-way to Paris.
Her eye caught on some writing on the inside flap, and she turned the dust jacket over, her breath catching at the sight of Logan’s rushed scrawl. She felt her heart stop as she read his words:
I’m ready when you’re ready.
We can be free together, we just have to learn how to disappear.
Let yourself go. I’m waiting.
Always, - L
Veronica stared at his invitation, his request, clutching the plane ticket tightly in her hand. A part of her wanted to lunge for the phone, telling him to meet her at the airport, knowing he would, and they could just vanish.
She felt like she was suffocating in her perfect life, and Logan was giving her an out. He didn’t love Hannah, she could tell, he just wanted Veronica. He wanted them to be together.
Blinking back tears, she set the plane ticket down on the table, skimming through the book. She went back to his note, staring at it long and hard. Then, something, she wasn’t sure what, forced her to move forward several pages to the obligatory dedication. There was one for his mother, short and sweet, and one several spaces down.
She glanced at the dedication, an actual gasp escaping her.
For my one and only. My warrior woman.
* * * * *
Celeste Kane watched her son as he did his best Jake impression, fumbling around his new desk. “I don’t know what your father was thinking, giving you a job here.”
Duncan smiled slightly. “You don’t think I can handle it?”
“No, that’s not it.” She sighed. “I would just prefer if you went to law school, that’s all.”
He shrugged helplessly, adjusting the picture frame holding a photo of himself and Veronica. “Things change, mom. I have a family to take care of, now.”
“Duncan, you graduated top of your class- every college wants you! Why are you throwing it all away?”
He silently reached over, turning and revealing a picture of himself, Veronica, and a three-year old Faith at the beach. He tapped the picture, raising his eyebrows.
Celeste glared at the photo, walking over to Duncan’s desk. She primly grabbed the picture, placing it face down and out of view. “Do you really think Veronica is going to be a good mother? Why don’t you start talking to that Shelly Pomroy girl you dated a while back?”
Duncan laughed, shaking his head as he leaned back in his seat. “What- you suddenly care about my family, now? C’mon, mom. You don’t even like Faith.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “I love Faith, Duncan! She is my first grandchild, and I love her even though I wish you had waited about ten years...” A long pause. “I’m just glad she was born out of class instead of trash.”
“Don’t start.”
“Meg wouldn’t be happy with this, Duncan.”
Duncan’s jaw clenched at the mention of Meg, and he refused to feel guilty, not now, when there was nothing he could do. “Meg would be happy that I’m raising Faith in a happy family.”
“Happy?” Celeste laughed slightly. “You really think Veronica’s happy, Duncan?”
“She is.”
“Yes, that’s why she looks like she’s dying in every one of your little family portraits. Motherhood is definitely not for her, sweetie.”
Duncan stared at his mother hard, unable to believe her nerve. “Mom, Veronica is fine with this. She’s happy, and we’re happy. I’m not going to leave her, so stop trying to break us up, okay? At least try to be civil.”
Celeste watched as Duncan played around with his computer, a bit too focused on the task at hand. “You need to remove the blinders, Duncan.”
He looked up at her, finally aggravated. “What the hell?”
“Come on, Duncan! You’re not at least a little suspicious about her and Logan?” They’re disgustingly obvious about it- don’t embarrass yourself.”
“There’s nothing going on between Logan and Veronica, mom! I told you, already.”
Celeste sighed, crossing her arms as she leaned against his desk. “Yeah, I thought your father would stop, too.”
Duncan’s eyes narrowed as he considered his mother’s words, the mess of five years ago now fresh in his mind. “What are you talking about?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Nothing at all. I’m just not surprised Veronica turned out to be just like her mother, let me tell you, Duncan.”
“She’s not.”
“Really? Have you heard from either her or Logan in the last two hours?”
“Logan’s probably drinking beer and playing pool with the guys. Veronica’s working late with her dad.”
She nodded once, opening the front door. “You might want to check the Camelot,” she said quietly before walking out.
Duncan stared at the space his mother had just occupied, her words finally getting to him. He reached for the phone, jumping when it rang. He gazed at it, stunned for a moment, before pushing the speaker button. “Yeah,” he said quietly.
“Mr. Kane, your fiancé is holding on line one.”
He smiled, quickly picking up the phone and pressing the appropriate button. “Hey.”
“Hi- there’s a big art festival in downtown Neptune on Saturday. Wanna go?”
“Ah, honey, I can’t. I have to work, you know that.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Veronica was quiet for a moment. “I’m heading home, I’m really tired. Do you want me to pick up dinner?”
“No, I’ll get it.” He licked his lips, leaning back in his seat. “Do you mind taking Faith to the pool when you get home? She loves the water.” Veronica’s silence was deafening, and he frowned, wondering if they lost connection. “Baby?”
“Yeah. I’ll take Faith to the pool.”
Duncan grinned, nodding as if Veronica could see him. His mother had no idea of what she was talking about, no clue. “I’ll talk to you later, Veronica. Love you.”
A long silence, then- “Yep.”
* * * * *
Veronica walked into the newly furnished condo, snapping her fingers at Logan. “Come on. Let’s go, writer boy. Time to celebrate.”
He eyed her, taking in her long black coat, her shiny black heels. Her pink, shiny lips, her smokey eyeshadow. Her long blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and chest, her diamonds- those fucking diamonds that she wore constantly now- glistening in the light. “What?”
She smiled as she walked up to him, standing on her toes and kissing him softly. He kissed her back, lingering as she pulled away “Your official book launch was yesterday. You were in all the newspapers...” She grinned at the unabashed smugness on his face at her recap of his success. “I want to fuck your brains out.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he rotated his wrist, stirring the ice and rum together in his glass. “Holy shit, you’ve lost your mind.”
“No, I just want you that bad. It’s been too long, and success is so sexy on you.” She glanced down at his jeans, starting to unfasten the top button. “Come on, you can do anything you want- today is all about you.”
Logan pulled away, giving her a hard look as he jerked his shirt down over his jeans. “My girlfriend’s gonna be home in an hour, Veronica.”
“Where is she, finger painting?”
He wagged a finger at her, taking a sip of his rum. “That’s catty, even for you.” She shrugged, and he nodded, staring into his glass. “Hannah’s a good girl.”
“And I’m the bad girl, right? Is that how you’re labeling us now?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Veronica.” He paused as he inspected Veronica’s face, which was nearly undescribable. “What’s your thing with Hannah, anyway? You don’t see me getting all bitchy over Duncan.”
She shrugged again, running her fingers over her engagement ring, pulling it up and off her knuckle, then back down again. “She’s more of a threat. Duncan’s just...”
“There.”
“Yes.”
Veronica frowned sadly, glancing up at Logan. “You know, if it wasn’t for Faith...”
He nodded quickly. “You would be with me. Got it. You hate kids, but I get it.”
“I don’t hate kids, they just make me uncomfortable.”
“Uh huh.”
A small, wry smile played on her lips. “I’m kind of hoping Duncan finds someone better. If I keep acting difficult, he’ll leave me and take Faith with him...”
Logan watched her, resisting the urge to embrace her as she continued to stand there looking completely and utterly alone. “You like Faith.”
“I do, but I’m not her mother.” She licked her lips, sighing. “He shouldn’t tell her I am.”
“Then tell him to stop.”
“Why bother? He’s going to think what he wants anyway.” She smiled slightly. “How about we hook Hannah up with Duncan?”
Logan snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, like I’m gonna let him fuck two of my girlfriends. Dream on.”
“Fine. Sneaking around, it is.” With a nod, Veronica opened up her coat, pulling it down to her elbows. She held it open, revealing her red lace bra and thong. A diamond belly chain was wrapped around her waist, dangling down between her legs. She smiled at the stunned look on Logan’s face, tilting her head slightly. “You like?”
Logan let out a sharp breath, dropping his glass to the fireplace mantle. “Jesus...Christ.”
It was then she blushed under his heated gaze, lowering her head and suddenly feeling silly in her push-up bra. “It’s...just for you. You said you liked the red lace, and I figured you would like the chain...”
“God, Veronica- you’re fucking married.”
She inhaled deeply, forcing herself to look up at him. “Not yet.”
“You will be.”
“I’m only still there because of Faith, Logan.” She said, her voice shaking. “She’s too young, and I feel guilty.”
Logan moved toward her, shaking his head. “Imagine how guilty you’re gonna feel when Faith finds out mommy’s screwing Uncle Logan.”
Fear was in Veronica’s eyes now as she watched Logan’s expression, looking for any sign of betrayal. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. “Are you going to tell her?”
“No.”
She nodded, glancing down at their bodies, just inches apart. “Okay. Thank you.” She started to lift his shirt up, her pale pink nails brushing against his skin.
Logan grabbed her wrists, stopping her. “You’re asking me to cheat on my girlfriend.”
Veronica’s eyes narrowed, and she faked a confused look. “As opposed to the last thirty times you cheated on her?”
He felt a pang of pain at the guestimate, reminding him of each and every time he was a scumbag, and that wasn’t even including all the phone sex sessions, the text messages, the e-mails, and jerking off. He was an asshole, Duncan was absolutely right. “I’m trying to change.”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, rubbing her lips together. Logan already had enough guilt for them both regarding Hannah, yet Veronica couldn’t help but be angry at him for making her think about it. She came there not to think, and he was doing the opposite. He was glutton for pain, and he was bringing her down with him. “She knows, you know.”
“She’s a sweet girl,” he whispered.
“You don’t deserve her.”
His eyes shot up, fire in his eyes. “And you don’t deserve Duncan.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
He glanced down between her breasts, eying the chain dangling back and forth between their bodies. “You deserve to get fucked against the wall.”
She exhaled shakily as he took the smallest of steps forward, and she let the coat drop to the floor, kicking it aside. “Maybe.”
“No. You do.” He grabbed at the chain, jerking her against him. “You deserve a bit of punishment.”
Her heart started to race as he backed her toward the wall, her hands clutching at the bottom of his shirt. “And if I like your brand of punishment?”
“I’m counting on you liking it.”
Logan pushed her against the wall, satisfied when he heard her gasp in pain. He roughly fondled her breasts, grinding his hips against hers. She licked her lips, her mouth on his neck as she undid his pants, thrusting her hands under his boxers and the feel of her cold hands making him groan.
He kissed and bit at her neck as she started to stroke him roughly, her teeth gritting as he began to suck on her skin. Deep down, she knew this was how Logan got his release. Hannah was sweet and all, but he got something else with Veronica, and she wasn’t sure what.
“I need a condom,” he gasped, groaning as she removed her hands from his cock.
She shook her head, yanking his pants down and letting them drop to his knees. “I’m on birth control,” she said with the faintest of smiles.
He smiled slightly. “Don’t want a little monster of your own?”
She grinned, glad he could appreciate the humor of it all. Only he could. “What can I say, I like to play it safe.”
“Yeah, getting fucked in your lover’s place when his girlfriend can walk in is really playing it safe.”
Veronica gasped as he grabbed her hips, lifting her up suddenly. She obediently wrapped her legs around his waist, leaving quick kisses on his jaw. “Okay, I like living dangerously.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, the last word a groan as he slid inside her.
Veronica stifled a moan as he started to thrust, fast and hard. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, squinting to read the small font. Thirty minutes. They had thirty minutes to finish and for Veronica to be out the door. Her eyes shut as he pushed hard, a sharp moan escaping her.
“Wear heels more often...” he said quickly as he felt her heel dig into his back, the pain mixing wonderfully with the pleasure coursing through him.
She smiled slightly, her head tilting back and hitting the wall. “You don’t like the red lace?”
“I fucking love the red lace.”
She grabbed his face, forcing his mouth on hers. Their kisses were rough and clumsy to match their rough and clumsy fucking, and Veronica wondered how long she was going to keep sneaking around. When she was going to get the courage to start worrying about herself rather than everyone else. Logan loved her and she was sure she might love him and what exactly was wrong with her?
Any thoughts running through her head was immediately cut off by her orgasm, and she let out a loud cry, her nails digging into Logan’s back. That additional mix of pain was enough for Logan, and he found himself coming hard, his hand clamping down on Veronica’s thigh, firmly.
Logan licked his lips, slowly and carefully lowering Veronica to the ground. “Fuck me...” he muttered as he pulled his pants up.
“Just did.” Veronica said quietly, failing at the moment to see the humor in her own response. “I never should’ve came over. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re indecisive and scared. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”
She smiled wryly. “You’re just glutton for punishment.”
He was quiet for a moment, watching as she picked up her coat, slipping it back on. “I’m in love, Veronica.”
Veronica’s jaw clenched as she wrapped herself up, walking across the rom and picking up Logan’s glass. “I know the feeling, Logan,” she said, her voice shaking. “Don’t think I don’t know how you feel.” She sighed, taking a long sip and cringing at the taste.
Logan nodded, staring at the floor hard. “Did you get the book?”
She lowered the glass from her lips, sighing. “Yes.”
“What do you think?”
Veronica nodded, licking her lips and tasting the rum and Logan all in one. “I just started reading it. It’s good.”
“Not that...” He sighed shakily, running his hands through his hair. “Don’t you want to know how it ends?”
She stared at him, knowing full well he was talking about the trip he was waiting for, about them. “I’ll let you know,” she whispered, handing him the glass.
He downed the rest of it, eyeing her as she turned and headed for the door. “Leaving so soon?”
Veronica spun around, shrugging helplessly as she backed toward the exit. “Why the hell would I stay, Logan?”
“Yeah,” he snapped, unable to keep the anger from his voice. “Why would you?”
Veronica shook her head, leaving the condo without another word.
She walked down the hallway, digging her car keys out of her coat pocket. She refused to let the guilt get to her, focusing on getting back to the house and showering before Duncan got home. She swore she could smell Logan on her, and wondered if Faith would when she came in. She wondered if the babysitter would know she just got laid, if she was that obvious about it.
“I’m such an idiot-” Veronica mumbled, cutting herself off with a cry of surprise as she bumped into someone.
“Oh, excuse-” Hannah froze, lowering her bag full of food as she nearly ran into Veronica. “Veronica?”
Veronica managed a tight smile, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as if Hannah could see through her jacket. “Hannah. Hi.”
Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”
Veronica shrugged, hoping she looked relaxed and not at all guilty. “Just came to say hi.”
“It’s two in the afternoon.” Hannah paused, frowning as a ridiculous feeling of inferiority overcame her. “Logan and I are celebrating.” she managed feebly, clutching the bag tighter. She exhaled sharply, lowering her head and blinking back the tears in her eyes before Veronica could see. “Why are you here if we’re celebrating?”
Veronica nodded once, unable to stop the sharp pang of guilt at the sight of Hannah faltering. “I’ll be sure to call next time.”
Hannah lifted her head, staring at Veronica hard and shaking her head in disgust. “You could have any guy in the world. You have THE perfect guy. Why do you want mine?”
Veronica didn’t reply, rushing past Hannah toward the front door. “Sorry,” she mumbled as she went.
Hannah waited until Veronica’s footsteps faded to walk to her apartment. Her jaw clenched as she struggled to stop the tears from flowing, her breaths coming short and quick. She stopped at the door, wiping at her face. David Bowie floated through the door, filling her ears. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say when she went inside, even if she would say a word.
What was there to say?
She flung the door open, stepping inside and shutting it behind her quietly. Logan stood by the stereo, glass of liquor in one hand, CD case in the other. “Hello,” she managed, trying to keep her voice nice and normal.
Logan glanced up at Hannah, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breathe. Her eyes were red, she knew. “Hey,” He waved the CD at her. “Best of Bowie.”
“Cool.” She closed the door, tilting her head to the side in her best attempt at being casual. “Saw Veronica.”
He nodded, averting his gaze. He stared down at the CD case, examining the track list a little too hard. “And?”
“And she just left. What was she doing here?”
He shrugged. “Just came to visit.”
“How long did she stay?”
Another shrug. “Five minutes, tops. She had to get to work.”
“She couldn’t just call?”
“Veronica’s weird like that.” He licked his lips slowly, trying to buy time as he glanced up at her. “Are you okay?”
Hannah forced a smile, setting her bag on the dinner table before walking towards him. “Allergies. You know how I am.” He nodded, and she mimicked him, pushing her hair back. “I’m okay, stop being paranoid.”
Hannah wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. They kissed softly, her hand reaching down and grabbing Logan’s glass, pulling it out of his hold. She broke away, putting the glass to her lips and stopped when she saw the faint residue of lip gloss on the rim. Her eyes met his and in there she saw his lie.
With a sigh, she brought the glass to her lips, taking a long sip. She could’ve sworn she tasted Veronica and it made her sick. Logan watched her, his expression indescribable. There was maybe fear, maybe curiosity...arousal? “Logan.”
“Yes,” he replied, his voice shaking.
She tilted her head up, kissing him. She slipped her tongue in his mouth, and he returned the gesture, and she sighed, tasting the remnants of the rum on his tongue. After a long moment, she pulled away, giving him a smile. “Next time you have your girlfriend over,” She said evenly, her lips brushing over his. “Make sure to wipe her lipstick off your cup,” She ran a rough finger over his chin, scooping up the shiny, sticky gloss. “And your face.”
He paled considerably before his face flushed, and he lowered his head. He licked his lips, tasting both Veronica and Hannah and wanted then to throw up. “Hannah, listen...”
She shook her head, sighing even as anger coursed through her. The sadness overwhelmed all, but the rage was there, pure and true. If Veronica thought she was going to have the perfect guy and try to steal Hannah’s too, she was sadly mistaken. Yes, all was fair in love and war, and she was about to show Veronica that she wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what. “I love you, Logan. Please. Try to stop.”
“I am. I really am.”
“Okay.” She pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back faintly. “I want to trust you, Logan,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his jaw softly. “And I’m willing to work for this, but you have to give a little, too.”
“I will.”
She smiled sadly, kissing him again. She was going to prove her father wrong, she was going to prove everyone wrong. Logan was going to love her and only her and they would be happy. She wouldn’t accept anything less. “Okay. I’m going to believe you, Logan.”
He buried his face in her shoulder. “I don’t deserve you,” he mumbled.
Hannah was quiet for a long moment, wanting to tell him otherwise, that he did deserve her, that they were going to work on it. But, at the moment, all she could manage was- “I know.”
* * * * *
They remained engaged for four years, and it was then Duncan demanded an official commitment, once and for all.
Veronica agreed after one long week of insistence, although it wasn’t the joyous reaction he was hoping for. But it was an agreement, nonetheless, and he was on cloud nine. They could finally mark a date and get it done.
He asked Logan to be his best man. He was willing to forget the mistake in high school, the little red flags every time Logan visited, the bigger red flags when Veronica didn’t return his calls during the day- Duncan just wanted his (former) best friend to be there.
He wanted to at least pretend he still had a best friend.
Logan refused.
Duncan asked Logan to at least come to the wedding. He had stupidly thought that if he did, maybe they would both get the hint. It wasn’t appropriate anymore. None of it was appropriate anymore.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
Veronica’s jaw clenched as Logan nearly slammed the door in her face, her hands flying up and stopping the impact. “Logan, calm down!” She yelled.
“You’re FUCKED!” he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her. “You’re fucked up- I waited for you, Veronica! I waited!”
“What’s my options, Logan? I promised Meg I would protect Faith-”
“You can do that without signing your life away!”
“As opposed to what? Being a gypsy with you? There’s no stability in that, Logan! You- you sold a book and you have money and yet you’re still going to travel around? It’s time to grow up!” Her gaze softened slightly. “You need to grow up so we can be together.”
“Then come with me! Travel with me!”
Veronica shook her head, blinking back tears. “I’m twenty-three years old, Logan- I can’t travel for my whole...I have a life here!”
He gritted his teeth, trying to keep from calling her every name in the book. “You HATE Neptune.”
“But I have a life here. I can’t just leave it.”
Logan laughed, shaking his head as he sank to his couch. “You’re so fucking scared...why are you so scared of us?”
She inched towards him, rubbing at her eyes roughly. “I...I don’t know.”
“I have a good girl- she loves me despite everything, and I keep fucking with you. Why?” She didn’t respond, her fingertips brushing over his temple. He grabbed her hips, pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Please,” he whispered against her stomach. “Don’t marry him, Veronica.”
Veronica closed her eyes as the tears threatened to fall, her hands clutching at his hair. “I don’t want to,” she whispered shakily.
“Then fucking don’t. We’ll run away...”
“I can’t leave my father and Faith, Logan.”
Logan sniffed harshly, rubbing his forehead against her stomach. “You...you have to leave him, so we can be happy. It’s so easy. You can do it.” He lifted his head, staring at her. “I want you to just run away with me, Veronica. Let’s just go.”
She sighed, closing her eyes painfully. “I still have the ticket,” she mumbled.
“Then let’s go,” he pleaded quietly.
“I can’t.”
Anger flashed in Logan’s eyes for just a moment before he nodded, inhaling sharply. “Fine.” He started to undo Veronica’s pants, his lips pressing together tightly.
She ran her hand through his hair while wiping at the tear that slipped down her face. “This seems a bit too familiar, huh?” Logan glanced up at her quizzically, and she smiled bitterly. “My mom and Duncan’s dad...they married other people and kept seeing each other.”
“Kinda romantic in a fucked up way,” he muttered, yanking down her jeans and underwear. “It explains a lot, to be honest with you.”
“I guess.”
“History repeats,” he said simply, pulling her gently towards him.
She laughed uncomfortably, shaking her head. “I don’t want to be my mother.”
“Too late, you already are,” he whispered, his fingers running over her thighs. “You’re already here, with me. This is your end game, even as you’re lying to the creepy Kanes. Here endth the life lesson.”
“I-I can learn from her mistakes-” His tongue danced over her clit and she gasped, gripping his hair. “Logan...”
“Ssh...the only thing we’re learning is that history repeats itself,” he whispered, moving his fingers inside her. “You’re never going to forget me...”
* * * * *
Duncan walked into the master bedroom, spotting Veronica sitting at the large oak vanity, gazing absently at her reflection. He dropped his blazer on one of their white loveseats, undoing his tie. “Hey.”
Veronica blinked as if she were roused from a deep sleep, quickly reaching up and removing her diamond necklace. She set it down carefully in the small white jewelry box before moving to her ears. “Faith is in bed,” she murmured, placing the earrings next to the necklace. Combined: at least twenty-five hundred dollars. It was absurd.
“Good.”
“She learned the word ‘cocksucker’ today.”
He frowned slightly. “What- how does a four-year old know what cocksucker means?”
A shrug. “I blame your mother.”
“Huh. Well, we need to fix that.” Duncan walked across the room, unbuttoning his work shirt. He sighed before kissing the top of Veronica’s head, running his fingers through her hair. “How was your day?”
“Fine. Dropped Faith off at the Wicked Witch’s house, then just hung out.”
He smiled slightly, rubbing the back of her neck gently. “Did some wedding stuff?”
“No.” She glanced up at him, forcing a smile. “You know I’m not good at that crap.”
“Yeah, I know. So, did nothing all day?”
She shrugged. “Logan came over to hang out with Faith. She was gone, so he left.” Her smile faded as she slid out of his grasp, moving to their bed. “Did you take your meds today?”
He cringed playfully before hurrying to the bathroom. “Ah- almost forgot.” He returned a moment later, showing off two white pills. She stared at him blankly as he brought them to his mouth, swallowing. “There.”
“Good.” Veronica sat on the edge of the bed, fixing her black robe over her knees.
Duncan sat down beside her, running his hand over her leg. He paused at the feel of her damp skin. “Did you just shower?”
She nodded quickly, her fingers drifting over her silver, princess-cut engagement ring. “Yeah,” she whispered.
“Oh.” He sat there for a moment, wondering where the sudden awkwardness came from. A simple question had stiffened Veronica up considerably, and, suddenly, his mother’s warning was ringing in his head. Good God.
He watched her play with her engagement ring, turning the ring around her finger until the diamond had disappeared underneath her fingers. Then, she started to slide it up her finger, past the knuckle.
Veronica’s eyes lifted, catching him watching her game. With a tight smile, she pushed the ring back into place.
* * * * *
Veronica sighed as Logan moved slower, taking his time with each thrust. A month before the wedding, and she was stuck in Logan’s apartment, fucking like the world was about to end. Hannah was away at class, so Veronica knew there was nothing to worry about, unless Logan started to freak out over the wedding again.
They were fucking. Somewhere in the mist of it, Logan had decided to start making love to her, even quieting his grunts in favor of soft whispers. She had no idea of what he was doing.
Veronica licked her lips, a moan escaping her as he left faint kisses on her neck, moving slowly but deliberately. “Logan....Logan...” she gasped, arching to move him deeper inside her, her legs spreading. He took the hint, inching more into her and she groaned in gratitude.
She came hard with a moan, her eyes shutting tightly as her back arched. He let out a sharp breath, his orgasm quieter, but still intense. He kissed her hard, then, and she kissed him back, her arms wrapping around his neck.
Logan kissed her softly once more before burying his face in her neck. “I love you...I love you so much, Veronica...”
“Same here,” she whispered with a faint smile.
He was quiet for a moment, recovering. Then, he nodded. “Hold on-” He leaned over, picking up a washable marker from his drawer.
She smiled slightly, shaking her head. “Do I want to ask why you have a drawer full of markers?”
He smirked, settling down between her legs. “I use them when I read my manuscripts...I like correcting my own work.”
She frowned, lifting her head to watch as he started to write on her stomach. “You’re your own worst critic.”
“Damn straight.” He chewed on his bottom lip, continuing to write. “At least I’m getting stuff done. I’ve finished one and started another- my publicist is so proud of me.”
“What the hell are you writing?” she asked with a laugh, propping herself up on her elbows. “That better wash out, Logan.”
Logan finished with a smile, pushing himself on his knees and admiring his work. “There. I can now sleep easy, knowing you have to return to me.”
Veronica glanced down at her stomach, making out “Property of Logan Echolls” in red marker. She shook her head in disapproval, giving him a look as he chuckled. “That so better wash out.”
* * * * *
“Hey. Can I join you?”
Veronica glanced up at the voice, eyes widening at the sight of Hannah, plate of food in hand. Even at the Hut, she wasn’t safe. “What?” she asked, sharper than she intended.
Hannah smiled slightly, glancing at the open chair in front of Veronica. “May I join you?”
After a long pause, Veronica removed her bag from the seat, pushing her food and drink to the side. “Be my guest.”
Hannah smiled, sitting down and setting her plate down on the table. She ate quietly for a moment, before glancing at Veronica’s notebook. “What are you writing?”
Veronica impulsively covered her resignation letter, forcing a smile. “Nothing. Just my resignation letter.”
“For the paper?” Veronica nodded, and Hannah sighed, smiling. “Going to become a full time wife and mother?”
Veronica was quiet for a moment, glancing at her cup of coffee. Not exactly. She definitely wasn’t going to tell Hannah of all people that she was handing in the resignation so she could catch that plane to Paris before the wedding. There was no way. “Sure.”
“Enjoy it- the wedding’s only a week away!” Hannah grinned, digging her fork into her salad. “Despite all our differences, I really like you, Veronica.” She paused, chewing on her food. “Logan’s made a couple of mistakes, but he’s changed now. I know it was just a mistake.”
“Good.” Veronica said quietly.
“I forgive you both.”
“You shouldn’t,” Veronica replied with a laugh, her voice strained. “You really shouldn’t.”
Hannah smiled slightly, shrugging. “That’s just the type of girl I am, I guess.” She lifted her head, her smile growing. “I think that’s why Logan wrote Idina the way he did, you know?” Veronica stared at her questioningly, and she nodded. “Did you read the book?”
Veronica frowned slightly. “Didn’t finish it...”
Hannah nodded again, taking a moment to take a sip of her soda. “Well, in the book, Idina forgave Mark for putting her in danger at a party they were at. It was disgusting, but she forgave him because she was so understanding-”
Veronica laughed softly, shaking her head. “That wasn’t how it happened, it wasn’t all-” she said before she could stop herself. She froze, her eyes shutting painfully as Hannah gasped. She glanced up at the girl, who was horribly silent. “Hannah.”
“Oh my God,” Hannah whispered, staring down at her food. “The book’s about you,” She whispered. “Oh my God...”
Veronica shifted uncomfortably, unsure of whether to try to console her or not. “Hannah...”
“How could I have been so stupid?” she gasped, looking up at Veronica. “Of course it’s about you. It’s always been about you.” Her jaw clenched as she ran her hands through her hair, clutching at the roots. “I’m so stupid...”
“Hannah,” Veronica swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to make it all better. Nothing came to mind. “He- he tried to stop...we tried to stop. He...”
“Does Duncan know?” Hannah asked suddenly. “Am I the only stupid one?”
Veronica sighed, shaking her head. “Duncan doesn’t know.”
Hannah laughed faintly, a hint of bitterness in her voice. “Oh, good. I’m not the only moron.”
“Hannah, it’s best...” Veronica trailed off, wondering if she should tell her now that they were going to leave. Maybe spare the girl an even worse pain. “Hannah, it’s best if you just let-”
Hannah scowled at Veronica. “Just so you know, I found Logan’s little plane ticket.” Veronica mouth dropped, and Hannah nodded quickly. “I destroyed it. It doesn’t exist, and neither do you. Stay away from my boyfriend, Veronica.” She climbed to her feet, gathering her things hastily. “Stay away from him, or I’m telling Duncan, do you understand me?”
“Go ahead,” Veronica whispered, and Hannah rolled her eyes, stomping away. She reached for her cell phone, but someone beat her to the punch as it rang loudly. She answered, inhaling deeply. “Hello.”
“Veronica, it’s gone.” Logan’s panicked voice came from the other end.
“Hannah knows,” Veronica said quietly, her shoulders slouching. “She knows, and she’s probably going home right now. She’s pissed, Logan.”
“FUCK.”
Veronica’s eyes closed as he hung up, a shaky breath escaping her. Over. It was almost over. It had to be.
Next part, 1c
Author: Me
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 20125 total (I couldn't fit it all in one post), this section: 8546
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Logan/Veronica, Duncan/Veronica, Logan/Hannah
Note: Future-fic. Also? Seriously AU after “One Angry Veronica.” Like, this is some AU-ing shit. Ruined lives and bloodshed AU. Fucked up AU. Example? Duncan didn’t leave Neptune, and he and Veronica stayed together. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t judge.
2. The format of the fic is weird, I didn’t really set a time period for each segment. Hopefully, it’s clear when each part occurred, but for the most part, it’s just supposed to be a jumble of events in a five-year span.
3. Special thanks goes to my beta solflower22. I loves you!
Written for the loveathons “Lessons Learned” challenge.
Summary: The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. -- John Powell
Veronica stared at Faith as she slept, her eyes narrowing slightly. The girl was all blonde and all Meg. Even her face was all Meg, she didn’t see Duncan in there anywhere. Her attitude was bright, sunny Meg, and Veronica was convinced no one was going to be fooled. No one was going to think that this child was the product of two sullen people.
How was it that she ended up being “mommy?” It was unfair.
Duncan was a good father, he had the patience for it. She, on the other hand, wasn’t ready to be a “mommy” to anyone. She was too young, and every time Faith said the word, she wanted to throw up.
“Come to bed.”
Veronica looked up, catching Duncan watching her at the door. She smiled slightly, pushing her hair back over her shoulder. “Stalking me?”
“Trying to find you. You were just sitting there, staring off into space.” He held out his hand, and she took it. “Where did you go?” he asked as he led her toward their bedroom.
“When?”
“When you were in Faith’s room. Your mind wasn’t there.” He wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked into their bedroom, planting a soft kiss in her hair. “What were you thinking about?”
Veronica shrugged. “I wasn’t thinking at all.”
A couple of silent minutes later, and they were in bed, checking out what was on television. She smiled slightly as Duncan hugged her from behind, settling on a rerun of Letterman. He chuckled at the show as he rubbed her hip soothingly and she was sure then that this was how she could live her life.
“Duncan,” she whispered, wanting then to change it all, to make it all better. She couldn’t sneak around with Logan forever- he was never going to grow up. She might as well try to make this all better. “Can we...”
He smiled, kissing her neck gently. “Can we what?”
A blush settled on her face, wishing that he would just get the hint. “Can we...can you...you know.”
“You want to make love?”
Veronica couldn’t help the cringe that fell on her face, and she was grateful that Duncan couldn’t see her. “No...”
“Then what?”
She swallowed the insult that threatened to fly out at his denseness, and she stiffened up against his touch. She wanted to have some loud, wild fun, and he definitely wasn’t getting the hint. “Nevermind,” she said quietly, yanking the comforter over her body. “I’m going to bed.”
Duncan frowned, propping himself up on his elbow. “Veronica, what-” His eyes widened in realization. “Oh. You wanted to fuck?”
“Maybe.”
He laughed, embarrassed, as he shook his head. “Honey, we can’t. Faith is in the next room. She’ll wake up.”
Veronica inhaled sharply, resisting the urge to inform him that they had never fucked a day in their relationship, as well as the urge to ask him when they were going to start to act their ages. She was so sick of being a parent, of acting like an old housewife. But instead of saying any of this, she settled on- “Fine. Good night.”
Duncan sighed, flopping on his back. “Veronica. Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not. Night.”
* * * * *
Veronica let out a loud groan, her nails digging into the table as Logan fucked her from behind. He grabbed her hips, jerking her back hard and she nearly screamed, her forehead hitting the coffee table. Her back arched and her hips rolled as she reached behind, feeling for his waist and pulling him deeper inside her.
The sex was always better when they were bickering, and now was no exception.
He had picked a fight and she had readily delivered with enough spite and sexual frustration for him to notice, and her new designer pants were at her ankles in under ten minutes. A year of want and tension and desire and Veronica felt like he was going to send her to a certain limbo where she didn’t have to be some kid’s mother and a glorified trophy wife and she welcomed it. This was what she wanted, something rough and fun and quick and real. So did he. It was perfect.
Logan leaned forward, covering her body with his as he continued to thrust. His eyes fell on her diamond ring, and he quickly covered it with his hand. His other hand slipped between her legs and she cried out loudly, her hips jerking against his.
He smiled slightly, his lips brushing against her bare neck. “You like that?” he grunted.
“Yes.” She moaned, grabbing at his neck and pulling his mouth down to hers.
“Did you miss me?” he breathed against her mouth, and she quickly nodded, kissing him hard.
Logan pulled out of Veronica, and she licked her lips, her hands shaking as she yanked off her pants and underwear, turning to face him. He grinned, kissing her softly as he pushed her on the coffee table, his hands running over her breasts. She nearly whimpered, her feet bracing against the edge of the table as he entered her again, her back arching at the impact.
He was fucking her fast and hard now, not stopping as she cried out, her nails digging into his back. He grabbed her hips, jerking her up into a seated position, and she followed, wrapping her legs around his hips.
“I want you to tell him about us,” he panted, and she inhaled sharply, driving her hips against his. “I want you to tell him about how hard I fuck you, and how many times you come-”
Veronica’s eyes shut tightly, trying to drown him out. She felt guilty enough as it was, she didn’t need him driving it home when she was so close to coming. Her eyes opened and met his, a small smile on her face. “Are you going to keep talking, or are you going to make me come, because I’m getting bored.”
He grinned, kissing her hard as he drove into her once, then twice, hard. Her screams were muffled by his mouth, and he reached between their bodies, pressing his fingers against her clit as he thrust hard into her faster, harder.
Her back arched as she came, her toes curling and she could’ve sworn she pulled something as her body strained with each wave as he kept thrusting. She clutched at his back, jerking her hips roughly until he groaned, coming hard inside her.
“Eight out of ten,” Veronica said breathlessly with a smile.
Logan frowned slightly. “Eight?”
“You lose points for ripping my underwear.”
“Ah. Damn.” His mouth brushed over her cheek before he kissed the spot just below her ear. “Did you think of me?” He whispered in her ear.
She swallowed hard, her hands running down his back as the high faded. “Yes.”
The smile was genuine now, and he kissed her cheek again. “Good.”
* * * * *
Duncan and Veronica’s sex life was less than stellar, mostly due to the fact that Veronica was so damn tired all the time.
He cheated on her once, with a co-worker at Kane Software, after Veronica rejected his advances for what felt like the one hundredth time. He felt guilty afterwards and immediately told her. To his surprise, she promptly forgave him. He wondered how he managed to get the most understanding, caring woman ever.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
Logan got a girlfriend about a year after Veronica and Duncan got engaged, roughly six months after his return. It was right around the time Veronica had gathered up the nerve to leave Duncan and Faith in order to join Logan in his life of travel and abandon.
Her name was Hannah, some girl who had also went to Neptune High, had just graduated and was about to attend San Diego University. She was excellent with Faith, and was going to school to become a teacher, with dance as her minor. She was tall and blonde and funny and sweet and a perfect mix of Veronica and Lilly.
Duncan loved her. Veronica hated her.
Hannah told the story of how she and Logan met constantly, boasting about her bravery in approaching him, and Logan always good-naturedly called her “the dude.” They were an almost perfect match, her sweet to his snarky, her quiet to his loud, she the light to his dark.
Duncan’s announcement that Veronica had gotten a new job working at the local newspaper was outshone by Hannah’s announcement that she and Logan were moving in together. Duncan thought she was adorable, Veronica thought she was unbearably young and stupid.
Veronica struggled to not roll her eyes at Hannah’s continuous stories and adoring gazes in Logan’s direction. The only story refrained from making Hannah giggle in that annoying way of hers was the one about how her father disapproved of Logan.
Duncan remarked that her father was a smart man. Logan wasn’t so amused.
Hannah also boasted about Logan’s book, calling it a masterpiece in the making. She threatened to send it to every publisher in the United States, and Logan claimed he would do it before she got her grubby little hands on it.
Veronica was somewhat insulted that she had never heard of a book before Hannah came into the picture.
Hannah seemed to think the majority of the book was about her, and told anyone who asked about it. Logan didn’t bother to correct her, she looked too happy and he didn’t want to disappoint yet another person.
At one of Duncan’s dinner parties, Hannah laughed as she told Duncan about a passage of the book in which the female lead and the protagonist avoid talking about their first accidental kiss, with Hannah wondering where Logan got such an imagination from. She then preceded to tell patient Duncan about the first time they really kissed, in the rain, outside her father’s house.
Veronica scowled at Hannah from across the table, clutching her fork tightly in her hand. The scowl faded as she caught Logan giving her the same hard look from across the table, his arm wrapped loosely around Hannah’s chair.
She tried to ignore Hannah’s hand rubbing Logan’s leg under the table, and when she met Logan’s glare, the look in his eyes was evident: This is all because of you.
* * * * *
Logan chewed on the last of his bread stick, wiping his hands on his jeans. He gazed at Veronica, sitting across from him, a half-eaten slice in her hand. An offer to help unpack turned into a long, awkward and silent lunch. Fun, fun, fun. “Like it?”
She glanced around the bare apartment, focusing on the still unpacked boxes spread around the room, labeled in red marker in Hannah’s annoyingly bubbly font. This was the third time they had moved in three years, just because Logan claimed to hate every single apartment. However, she knew it was because he couldn’t stay put too long before getting bored.
Veronica cringed playfully. “A fireplace, Logan? Really?”
He smirked. “It doesn’t work, but don’t tell Hannah that. She’s all about the damn Yule Log.” He paused as he spotted Veronica’s flinch at the mere mention of Hannah’s name, and he sighed, once again uncomfortable. “Well? Thoughts.”
She nodded. “It’s nice. Considering.”
A smile perked on his lips. “Considering what?”
Veronica shrugged as he stood, walking over to the table by the door. “Considering you’ve lived here for, like, two weeks and haven’t unpacked yet.”
“Hey, we got the bed up,” he reminded her simply.
She was quiet for a moment, throwing down her pizza with a shake of her head. “There’s that,” she said with a forced smile.
Logan licked his lips, picking up the stack of envelopes on the table. “We’ve been so busy- we haven’t even checked our mail. Thank God for Hannah, I never would’ve remembered to change addresses.”
“You’re lucky one of you is responsible.”
He winked at her knowingly before looking through the mail, throwing down what wasn’t his on the table. “Junk, junk, junk, bill...” He frowned slightly, throwing down the other mail and focusing on one envelope.
Veronica watched as he hurriedly opened the envelope, reading. “What?”
He rushed at Veronica, his eyes wide. He held up the piece of paper, waving it in her face. “God dammit, Veronica- they bought my book.”
Her mouth dropped as she jumped to her feet, grabbing at the paper. “No.”
“Yes!”
She laughed, squealing as he scooped her up in his arms, spinning them both around. She hugged him tightly, elated that he had done this all on his own, with no help from anyone. He had accomplished something, and she was so very proud of him-
“What’s going on?”
Logan and Veronica separated, and Veronica couldn’t help the annoyance that coursed through her at the sight of Hannah at the front door.
Logan gave Veronica a tight smile before facing Hannah, holding up the paper. “Remember that manuscript I showed you? The one I’ve been writing for, like, years?” She nodded. “Well, I got this letter-”
Hannah gasped. “Oh my God, someone bought it!” He nodded wildly and she screamed, jumping into his arms.
Veronica stood there, even more annoyed that Hannah chose to steal Logan’s thunder by way of interruption. She was dismayed that Logan didn’t even seem to care as he stumbled back, Hannah in his arms and her legs around his waist as she kissed him wildly.
Hannah grabbed onto the sides of Logan’s face, pressing her forehead against his. “I’m so proud of you, Logan. You did it.” She sighed, kissing him softly. “I’m so, so proud of you.”
Veronica’s lips pressed together tightly as she grabbed her jacket, heading for the front door. She went unnoticed in Logan and Hannah’s private celebration, and she swung the door open, pausing as Hannah’s word echoed in the room and in her brain.
“I’m so proud of you, Logan, you did it...”
* * * * *
Logan’s book was on the bestseller’s list a week after its release, and it climbed to number one in the two weeks that followed. Everyone wanted to read the debut novel from Aaron Echolls’ son, and, clearly, Logan didn’t disappoint.
The Washington Times called it “a promising debut from a solid writer.” Newsweek called it “heart wrenching and brutally real with a superb comic prose.” Entertainment Weekly wondered “where has this talent been hiding all these years?”
Logan appeared on various talk shows, smiling at the giggling reporters who asked him just who he was writing about. He always responded with the same, coy answer: “She knows who she is.” He brushed over the criticism about the book’s open-ended conclusion, claiming that he wouldn’t write an ending to a story that wasn’t finished, that the readers should make up their own minds as to what happened to the characters.
Logan sent Duncan a personalized first-edition copy of the book right before it was released. Veronica never saw Duncan read it.
Veronica tried not to be insulted that he didn’t send her a copy, but that cutting pain disappeared when she spotted a plain cardboard box in front of her office. Inside was a copy of Logan’s book, first-edition and with different artwork than what was on the stands.
She sat down at her desk, forgoing her increasing amount of work to just stare at the book. She opened it up, surprised when an envelope fell out from underneath the jacket flap. She opened up the envelope and found a plane ticket. One-way to Paris.
Her eye caught on some writing on the inside flap, and she turned the dust jacket over, her breath catching at the sight of Logan’s rushed scrawl. She felt her heart stop as she read his words:
I’m ready when you’re ready.
We can be free together, we just have to learn how to disappear.
Let yourself go. I’m waiting.
Always, - L
Veronica stared at his invitation, his request, clutching the plane ticket tightly in her hand. A part of her wanted to lunge for the phone, telling him to meet her at the airport, knowing he would, and they could just vanish.
She felt like she was suffocating in her perfect life, and Logan was giving her an out. He didn’t love Hannah, she could tell, he just wanted Veronica. He wanted them to be together.
Blinking back tears, she set the plane ticket down on the table, skimming through the book. She went back to his note, staring at it long and hard. Then, something, she wasn’t sure what, forced her to move forward several pages to the obligatory dedication. There was one for his mother, short and sweet, and one several spaces down.
She glanced at the dedication, an actual gasp escaping her.
For my one and only. My warrior woman.
* * * * *
Celeste Kane watched her son as he did his best Jake impression, fumbling around his new desk. “I don’t know what your father was thinking, giving you a job here.”
Duncan smiled slightly. “You don’t think I can handle it?”
“No, that’s not it.” She sighed. “I would just prefer if you went to law school, that’s all.”
He shrugged helplessly, adjusting the picture frame holding a photo of himself and Veronica. “Things change, mom. I have a family to take care of, now.”
“Duncan, you graduated top of your class- every college wants you! Why are you throwing it all away?”
He silently reached over, turning and revealing a picture of himself, Veronica, and a three-year old Faith at the beach. He tapped the picture, raising his eyebrows.
Celeste glared at the photo, walking over to Duncan’s desk. She primly grabbed the picture, placing it face down and out of view. “Do you really think Veronica is going to be a good mother? Why don’t you start talking to that Shelly Pomroy girl you dated a while back?”
Duncan laughed, shaking his head as he leaned back in his seat. “What- you suddenly care about my family, now? C’mon, mom. You don’t even like Faith.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “I love Faith, Duncan! She is my first grandchild, and I love her even though I wish you had waited about ten years...” A long pause. “I’m just glad she was born out of class instead of trash.”
“Don’t start.”
“Meg wouldn’t be happy with this, Duncan.”
Duncan’s jaw clenched at the mention of Meg, and he refused to feel guilty, not now, when there was nothing he could do. “Meg would be happy that I’m raising Faith in a happy family.”
“Happy?” Celeste laughed slightly. “You really think Veronica’s happy, Duncan?”
“She is.”
“Yes, that’s why she looks like she’s dying in every one of your little family portraits. Motherhood is definitely not for her, sweetie.”
Duncan stared at his mother hard, unable to believe her nerve. “Mom, Veronica is fine with this. She’s happy, and we’re happy. I’m not going to leave her, so stop trying to break us up, okay? At least try to be civil.”
Celeste watched as Duncan played around with his computer, a bit too focused on the task at hand. “You need to remove the blinders, Duncan.”
He looked up at her, finally aggravated. “What the hell?”
“Come on, Duncan! You’re not at least a little suspicious about her and Logan?” They’re disgustingly obvious about it- don’t embarrass yourself.”
“There’s nothing going on between Logan and Veronica, mom! I told you, already.”
Celeste sighed, crossing her arms as she leaned against his desk. “Yeah, I thought your father would stop, too.”
Duncan’s eyes narrowed as he considered his mother’s words, the mess of five years ago now fresh in his mind. “What are you talking about?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Nothing at all. I’m just not surprised Veronica turned out to be just like her mother, let me tell you, Duncan.”
“She’s not.”
“Really? Have you heard from either her or Logan in the last two hours?”
“Logan’s probably drinking beer and playing pool with the guys. Veronica’s working late with her dad.”
She nodded once, opening the front door. “You might want to check the Camelot,” she said quietly before walking out.
Duncan stared at the space his mother had just occupied, her words finally getting to him. He reached for the phone, jumping when it rang. He gazed at it, stunned for a moment, before pushing the speaker button. “Yeah,” he said quietly.
“Mr. Kane, your fiancé is holding on line one.”
He smiled, quickly picking up the phone and pressing the appropriate button. “Hey.”
“Hi- there’s a big art festival in downtown Neptune on Saturday. Wanna go?”
“Ah, honey, I can’t. I have to work, you know that.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Veronica was quiet for a moment. “I’m heading home, I’m really tired. Do you want me to pick up dinner?”
“No, I’ll get it.” He licked his lips, leaning back in his seat. “Do you mind taking Faith to the pool when you get home? She loves the water.” Veronica’s silence was deafening, and he frowned, wondering if they lost connection. “Baby?”
“Yeah. I’ll take Faith to the pool.”
Duncan grinned, nodding as if Veronica could see him. His mother had no idea of what she was talking about, no clue. “I’ll talk to you later, Veronica. Love you.”
A long silence, then- “Yep.”
* * * * *
Veronica walked into the newly furnished condo, snapping her fingers at Logan. “Come on. Let’s go, writer boy. Time to celebrate.”
He eyed her, taking in her long black coat, her shiny black heels. Her pink, shiny lips, her smokey eyeshadow. Her long blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and chest, her diamonds- those fucking diamonds that she wore constantly now- glistening in the light. “What?”
She smiled as she walked up to him, standing on her toes and kissing him softly. He kissed her back, lingering as she pulled away “Your official book launch was yesterday. You were in all the newspapers...” She grinned at the unabashed smugness on his face at her recap of his success. “I want to fuck your brains out.”
He laughed, shaking his head as he rotated his wrist, stirring the ice and rum together in his glass. “Holy shit, you’ve lost your mind.”
“No, I just want you that bad. It’s been too long, and success is so sexy on you.” She glanced down at his jeans, starting to unfasten the top button. “Come on, you can do anything you want- today is all about you.”
Logan pulled away, giving her a hard look as he jerked his shirt down over his jeans. “My girlfriend’s gonna be home in an hour, Veronica.”
“Where is she, finger painting?”
He wagged a finger at her, taking a sip of his rum. “That’s catty, even for you.” She shrugged, and he nodded, staring into his glass. “Hannah’s a good girl.”
“And I’m the bad girl, right? Is that how you’re labeling us now?”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it, Veronica.” He paused as he inspected Veronica’s face, which was nearly undescribable. “What’s your thing with Hannah, anyway? You don’t see me getting all bitchy over Duncan.”
She shrugged again, running her fingers over her engagement ring, pulling it up and off her knuckle, then back down again. “She’s more of a threat. Duncan’s just...”
“There.”
“Yes.”
Veronica frowned sadly, glancing up at Logan. “You know, if it wasn’t for Faith...”
He nodded quickly. “You would be with me. Got it. You hate kids, but I get it.”
“I don’t hate kids, they just make me uncomfortable.”
“Uh huh.”
A small, wry smile played on her lips. “I’m kind of hoping Duncan finds someone better. If I keep acting difficult, he’ll leave me and take Faith with him...”
Logan watched her, resisting the urge to embrace her as she continued to stand there looking completely and utterly alone. “You like Faith.”
“I do, but I’m not her mother.” She licked her lips, sighing. “He shouldn’t tell her I am.”
“Then tell him to stop.”
“Why bother? He’s going to think what he wants anyway.” She smiled slightly. “How about we hook Hannah up with Duncan?”
Logan snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, like I’m gonna let him fuck two of my girlfriends. Dream on.”
“Fine. Sneaking around, it is.” With a nod, Veronica opened up her coat, pulling it down to her elbows. She held it open, revealing her red lace bra and thong. A diamond belly chain was wrapped around her waist, dangling down between her legs. She smiled at the stunned look on Logan’s face, tilting her head slightly. “You like?”
Logan let out a sharp breath, dropping his glass to the fireplace mantle. “Jesus...Christ.”
It was then she blushed under his heated gaze, lowering her head and suddenly feeling silly in her push-up bra. “It’s...just for you. You said you liked the red lace, and I figured you would like the chain...”
“God, Veronica- you’re fucking married.”
She inhaled deeply, forcing herself to look up at him. “Not yet.”
“You will be.”
“I’m only still there because of Faith, Logan.” She said, her voice shaking. “She’s too young, and I feel guilty.”
Logan moved toward her, shaking his head. “Imagine how guilty you’re gonna feel when Faith finds out mommy’s screwing Uncle Logan.”
Fear was in Veronica’s eyes now as she watched Logan’s expression, looking for any sign of betrayal. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. “Are you going to tell her?”
“No.”
She nodded, glancing down at their bodies, just inches apart. “Okay. Thank you.” She started to lift his shirt up, her pale pink nails brushing against his skin.
Logan grabbed her wrists, stopping her. “You’re asking me to cheat on my girlfriend.”
Veronica’s eyes narrowed, and she faked a confused look. “As opposed to the last thirty times you cheated on her?”
He felt a pang of pain at the guestimate, reminding him of each and every time he was a scumbag, and that wasn’t even including all the phone sex sessions, the text messages, the e-mails, and jerking off. He was an asshole, Duncan was absolutely right. “I’m trying to change.”
Veronica was quiet for a long moment, rubbing her lips together. Logan already had enough guilt for them both regarding Hannah, yet Veronica couldn’t help but be angry at him for making her think about it. She came there not to think, and he was doing the opposite. He was glutton for pain, and he was bringing her down with him. “She knows, you know.”
“She’s a sweet girl,” he whispered.
“You don’t deserve her.”
His eyes shot up, fire in his eyes. “And you don’t deserve Duncan.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
He glanced down between her breasts, eying the chain dangling back and forth between their bodies. “You deserve to get fucked against the wall.”
She exhaled shakily as he took the smallest of steps forward, and she let the coat drop to the floor, kicking it aside. “Maybe.”
“No. You do.” He grabbed at the chain, jerking her against him. “You deserve a bit of punishment.”
Her heart started to race as he backed her toward the wall, her hands clutching at the bottom of his shirt. “And if I like your brand of punishment?”
“I’m counting on you liking it.”
Logan pushed her against the wall, satisfied when he heard her gasp in pain. He roughly fondled her breasts, grinding his hips against hers. She licked her lips, her mouth on his neck as she undid his pants, thrusting her hands under his boxers and the feel of her cold hands making him groan.
He kissed and bit at her neck as she started to stroke him roughly, her teeth gritting as he began to suck on her skin. Deep down, she knew this was how Logan got his release. Hannah was sweet and all, but he got something else with Veronica, and she wasn’t sure what.
“I need a condom,” he gasped, groaning as she removed her hands from his cock.
She shook her head, yanking his pants down and letting them drop to his knees. “I’m on birth control,” she said with the faintest of smiles.
He smiled slightly. “Don’t want a little monster of your own?”
She grinned, glad he could appreciate the humor of it all. Only he could. “What can I say, I like to play it safe.”
“Yeah, getting fucked in your lover’s place when his girlfriend can walk in is really playing it safe.”
Veronica gasped as he grabbed her hips, lifting her up suddenly. She obediently wrapped her legs around his waist, leaving quick kisses on his jaw. “Okay, I like living dangerously.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, the last word a groan as he slid inside her.
Veronica stifled a moan as he started to thrust, fast and hard. She glanced at the clock on the mantle, squinting to read the small font. Thirty minutes. They had thirty minutes to finish and for Veronica to be out the door. Her eyes shut as he pushed hard, a sharp moan escaping her.
“Wear heels more often...” he said quickly as he felt her heel dig into his back, the pain mixing wonderfully with the pleasure coursing through him.
She smiled slightly, her head tilting back and hitting the wall. “You don’t like the red lace?”
“I fucking love the red lace.”
She grabbed his face, forcing his mouth on hers. Their kisses were rough and clumsy to match their rough and clumsy fucking, and Veronica wondered how long she was going to keep sneaking around. When she was going to get the courage to start worrying about herself rather than everyone else. Logan loved her and she was sure she might love him and what exactly was wrong with her?
Any thoughts running through her head was immediately cut off by her orgasm, and she let out a loud cry, her nails digging into Logan’s back. That additional mix of pain was enough for Logan, and he found himself coming hard, his hand clamping down on Veronica’s thigh, firmly.
Logan licked his lips, slowly and carefully lowering Veronica to the ground. “Fuck me...” he muttered as he pulled his pants up.
“Just did.” Veronica said quietly, failing at the moment to see the humor in her own response. “I never should’ve came over. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re indecisive and scared. I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”
She smiled wryly. “You’re just glutton for punishment.”
He was quiet for a moment, watching as she picked up her coat, slipping it back on. “I’m in love, Veronica.”
Veronica’s jaw clenched as she wrapped herself up, walking across the rom and picking up Logan’s glass. “I know the feeling, Logan,” she said, her voice shaking. “Don’t think I don’t know how you feel.” She sighed, taking a long sip and cringing at the taste.
Logan nodded, staring at the floor hard. “Did you get the book?”
She lowered the glass from her lips, sighing. “Yes.”
“What do you think?”
Veronica nodded, licking her lips and tasting the rum and Logan all in one. “I just started reading it. It’s good.”
“Not that...” He sighed shakily, running his hands through his hair. “Don’t you want to know how it ends?”
She stared at him, knowing full well he was talking about the trip he was waiting for, about them. “I’ll let you know,” she whispered, handing him the glass.
He downed the rest of it, eyeing her as she turned and headed for the door. “Leaving so soon?”
Veronica spun around, shrugging helplessly as she backed toward the exit. “Why the hell would I stay, Logan?”
“Yeah,” he snapped, unable to keep the anger from his voice. “Why would you?”
Veronica shook her head, leaving the condo without another word.
She walked down the hallway, digging her car keys out of her coat pocket. She refused to let the guilt get to her, focusing on getting back to the house and showering before Duncan got home. She swore she could smell Logan on her, and wondered if Faith would when she came in. She wondered if the babysitter would know she just got laid, if she was that obvious about it.
“I’m such an idiot-” Veronica mumbled, cutting herself off with a cry of surprise as she bumped into someone.
“Oh, excuse-” Hannah froze, lowering her bag full of food as she nearly ran into Veronica. “Veronica?”
Veronica managed a tight smile, crossing her arms tightly over her chest as if Hannah could see through her jacket. “Hannah. Hi.”
Hannah’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”
Veronica shrugged, hoping she looked relaxed and not at all guilty. “Just came to say hi.”
“It’s two in the afternoon.” Hannah paused, frowning as a ridiculous feeling of inferiority overcame her. “Logan and I are celebrating.” she managed feebly, clutching the bag tighter. She exhaled sharply, lowering her head and blinking back the tears in her eyes before Veronica could see. “Why are you here if we’re celebrating?”
Veronica nodded once, unable to stop the sharp pang of guilt at the sight of Hannah faltering. “I’ll be sure to call next time.”
Hannah lifted her head, staring at Veronica hard and shaking her head in disgust. “You could have any guy in the world. You have THE perfect guy. Why do you want mine?”
Veronica didn’t reply, rushing past Hannah toward the front door. “Sorry,” she mumbled as she went.
Hannah waited until Veronica’s footsteps faded to walk to her apartment. Her jaw clenched as she struggled to stop the tears from flowing, her breaths coming short and quick. She stopped at the door, wiping at her face. David Bowie floated through the door, filling her ears. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say when she went inside, even if she would say a word.
What was there to say?
She flung the door open, stepping inside and shutting it behind her quietly. Logan stood by the stereo, glass of liquor in one hand, CD case in the other. “Hello,” she managed, trying to keep her voice nice and normal.
Logan glanced up at Hannah, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breathe. Her eyes were red, she knew. “Hey,” He waved the CD at her. “Best of Bowie.”
“Cool.” She closed the door, tilting her head to the side in her best attempt at being casual. “Saw Veronica.”
He nodded, averting his gaze. He stared down at the CD case, examining the track list a little too hard. “And?”
“And she just left. What was she doing here?”
He shrugged. “Just came to visit.”
“How long did she stay?”
Another shrug. “Five minutes, tops. She had to get to work.”
“She couldn’t just call?”
“Veronica’s weird like that.” He licked his lips slowly, trying to buy time as he glanced up at her. “Are you okay?”
Hannah forced a smile, setting her bag on the dinner table before walking towards him. “Allergies. You know how I am.” He nodded, and she mimicked him, pushing her hair back. “I’m okay, stop being paranoid.”
Hannah wrapped her arms around Logan’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. They kissed softly, her hand reaching down and grabbing Logan’s glass, pulling it out of his hold. She broke away, putting the glass to her lips and stopped when she saw the faint residue of lip gloss on the rim. Her eyes met his and in there she saw his lie.
With a sigh, she brought the glass to her lips, taking a long sip. She could’ve sworn she tasted Veronica and it made her sick. Logan watched her, his expression indescribable. There was maybe fear, maybe curiosity...arousal? “Logan.”
“Yes,” he replied, his voice shaking.
She tilted her head up, kissing him. She slipped her tongue in his mouth, and he returned the gesture, and she sighed, tasting the remnants of the rum on his tongue. After a long moment, she pulled away, giving him a smile. “Next time you have your girlfriend over,” She said evenly, her lips brushing over his. “Make sure to wipe her lipstick off your cup,” She ran a rough finger over his chin, scooping up the shiny, sticky gloss. “And your face.”
He paled considerably before his face flushed, and he lowered his head. He licked his lips, tasting both Veronica and Hannah and wanted then to throw up. “Hannah, listen...”
She shook her head, sighing even as anger coursed through her. The sadness overwhelmed all, but the rage was there, pure and true. If Veronica thought she was going to have the perfect guy and try to steal Hannah’s too, she was sadly mistaken. Yes, all was fair in love and war, and she was about to show Veronica that she wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what. “I love you, Logan. Please. Try to stop.”
“I am. I really am.”
“Okay.” She pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back faintly. “I want to trust you, Logan,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his jaw softly. “And I’m willing to work for this, but you have to give a little, too.”
“I will.”
She smiled sadly, kissing him again. She was going to prove her father wrong, she was going to prove everyone wrong. Logan was going to love her and only her and they would be happy. She wouldn’t accept anything less. “Okay. I’m going to believe you, Logan.”
He buried his face in her shoulder. “I don’t deserve you,” he mumbled.
Hannah was quiet for a long moment, wanting to tell him otherwise, that he did deserve her, that they were going to work on it. But, at the moment, all she could manage was- “I know.”
* * * * *
They remained engaged for four years, and it was then Duncan demanded an official commitment, once and for all.
Veronica agreed after one long week of insistence, although it wasn’t the joyous reaction he was hoping for. But it was an agreement, nonetheless, and he was on cloud nine. They could finally mark a date and get it done.
He asked Logan to be his best man. He was willing to forget the mistake in high school, the little red flags every time Logan visited, the bigger red flags when Veronica didn’t return his calls during the day- Duncan just wanted his (former) best friend to be there.
He wanted to at least pretend he still had a best friend.
Logan refused.
Duncan asked Logan to at least come to the wedding. He had stupidly thought that if he did, maybe they would both get the hint. It wasn’t appropriate anymore. None of it was appropriate anymore.
He should’ve known better.
* * * * *
Veronica’s jaw clenched as Logan nearly slammed the door in her face, her hands flying up and stopping the impact. “Logan, calm down!” She yelled.
“You’re FUCKED!” he shouted, pointing an accusing finger at her. “You’re fucked up- I waited for you, Veronica! I waited!”
“What’s my options, Logan? I promised Meg I would protect Faith-”
“You can do that without signing your life away!”
“As opposed to what? Being a gypsy with you? There’s no stability in that, Logan! You- you sold a book and you have money and yet you’re still going to travel around? It’s time to grow up!” Her gaze softened slightly. “You need to grow up so we can be together.”
“Then come with me! Travel with me!”
Veronica shook her head, blinking back tears. “I’m twenty-three years old, Logan- I can’t travel for my whole...I have a life here!”
He gritted his teeth, trying to keep from calling her every name in the book. “You HATE Neptune.”
“But I have a life here. I can’t just leave it.”
Logan laughed, shaking his head as he sank to his couch. “You’re so fucking scared...why are you so scared of us?”
She inched towards him, rubbing at her eyes roughly. “I...I don’t know.”
“I have a good girl- she loves me despite everything, and I keep fucking with you. Why?” She didn’t respond, her fingertips brushing over his temple. He grabbed her hips, pulling her to him and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Please,” he whispered against her stomach. “Don’t marry him, Veronica.”
Veronica closed her eyes as the tears threatened to fall, her hands clutching at his hair. “I don’t want to,” she whispered shakily.
“Then fucking don’t. We’ll run away...”
“I can’t leave my father and Faith, Logan.”
Logan sniffed harshly, rubbing his forehead against her stomach. “You...you have to leave him, so we can be happy. It’s so easy. You can do it.” He lifted his head, staring at her. “I want you to just run away with me, Veronica. Let’s just go.”
She sighed, closing her eyes painfully. “I still have the ticket,” she mumbled.
“Then let’s go,” he pleaded quietly.
“I can’t.”
Anger flashed in Logan’s eyes for just a moment before he nodded, inhaling sharply. “Fine.” He started to undo Veronica’s pants, his lips pressing together tightly.
She ran her hand through his hair while wiping at the tear that slipped down her face. “This seems a bit too familiar, huh?” Logan glanced up at her quizzically, and she smiled bitterly. “My mom and Duncan’s dad...they married other people and kept seeing each other.”
“Kinda romantic in a fucked up way,” he muttered, yanking down her jeans and underwear. “It explains a lot, to be honest with you.”
“I guess.”
“History repeats,” he said simply, pulling her gently towards him.
She laughed uncomfortably, shaking her head. “I don’t want to be my mother.”
“Too late, you already are,” he whispered, his fingers running over her thighs. “You’re already here, with me. This is your end game, even as you’re lying to the creepy Kanes. Here endth the life lesson.”
“I-I can learn from her mistakes-” His tongue danced over her clit and she gasped, gripping his hair. “Logan...”
“Ssh...the only thing we’re learning is that history repeats itself,” he whispered, moving his fingers inside her. “You’re never going to forget me...”
* * * * *
Duncan walked into the master bedroom, spotting Veronica sitting at the large oak vanity, gazing absently at her reflection. He dropped his blazer on one of their white loveseats, undoing his tie. “Hey.”
Veronica blinked as if she were roused from a deep sleep, quickly reaching up and removing her diamond necklace. She set it down carefully in the small white jewelry box before moving to her ears. “Faith is in bed,” she murmured, placing the earrings next to the necklace. Combined: at least twenty-five hundred dollars. It was absurd.
“Good.”
“She learned the word ‘cocksucker’ today.”
He frowned slightly. “What- how does a four-year old know what cocksucker means?”
A shrug. “I blame your mother.”
“Huh. Well, we need to fix that.” Duncan walked across the room, unbuttoning his work shirt. He sighed before kissing the top of Veronica’s head, running his fingers through her hair. “How was your day?”
“Fine. Dropped Faith off at the Wicked Witch’s house, then just hung out.”
He smiled slightly, rubbing the back of her neck gently. “Did some wedding stuff?”
“No.” She glanced up at him, forcing a smile. “You know I’m not good at that crap.”
“Yeah, I know. So, did nothing all day?”
She shrugged. “Logan came over to hang out with Faith. She was gone, so he left.” Her smile faded as she slid out of his grasp, moving to their bed. “Did you take your meds today?”
He cringed playfully before hurrying to the bathroom. “Ah- almost forgot.” He returned a moment later, showing off two white pills. She stared at him blankly as he brought them to his mouth, swallowing. “There.”
“Good.” Veronica sat on the edge of the bed, fixing her black robe over her knees.
Duncan sat down beside her, running his hand over her leg. He paused at the feel of her damp skin. “Did you just shower?”
She nodded quickly, her fingers drifting over her silver, princess-cut engagement ring. “Yeah,” she whispered.
“Oh.” He sat there for a moment, wondering where the sudden awkwardness came from. A simple question had stiffened Veronica up considerably, and, suddenly, his mother’s warning was ringing in his head. Good God.
He watched her play with her engagement ring, turning the ring around her finger until the diamond had disappeared underneath her fingers. Then, she started to slide it up her finger, past the knuckle.
Veronica’s eyes lifted, catching him watching her game. With a tight smile, she pushed the ring back into place.
* * * * *
Veronica sighed as Logan moved slower, taking his time with each thrust. A month before the wedding, and she was stuck in Logan’s apartment, fucking like the world was about to end. Hannah was away at class, so Veronica knew there was nothing to worry about, unless Logan started to freak out over the wedding again.
They were fucking. Somewhere in the mist of it, Logan had decided to start making love to her, even quieting his grunts in favor of soft whispers. She had no idea of what he was doing.
Veronica licked her lips, a moan escaping her as he left faint kisses on her neck, moving slowly but deliberately. “Logan....Logan...” she gasped, arching to move him deeper inside her, her legs spreading. He took the hint, inching more into her and she groaned in gratitude.
She came hard with a moan, her eyes shutting tightly as her back arched. He let out a sharp breath, his orgasm quieter, but still intense. He kissed her hard, then, and she kissed him back, her arms wrapping around his neck.
Logan kissed her softly once more before burying his face in her neck. “I love you...I love you so much, Veronica...”
“Same here,” she whispered with a faint smile.
He was quiet for a moment, recovering. Then, he nodded. “Hold on-” He leaned over, picking up a washable marker from his drawer.
She smiled slightly, shaking her head. “Do I want to ask why you have a drawer full of markers?”
He smirked, settling down between her legs. “I use them when I read my manuscripts...I like correcting my own work.”
She frowned, lifting her head to watch as he started to write on her stomach. “You’re your own worst critic.”
“Damn straight.” He chewed on his bottom lip, continuing to write. “At least I’m getting stuff done. I’ve finished one and started another- my publicist is so proud of me.”
“What the hell are you writing?” she asked with a laugh, propping herself up on her elbows. “That better wash out, Logan.”
Logan finished with a smile, pushing himself on his knees and admiring his work. “There. I can now sleep easy, knowing you have to return to me.”
Veronica glanced down at her stomach, making out “Property of Logan Echolls” in red marker. She shook her head in disapproval, giving him a look as he chuckled. “That so better wash out.”
* * * * *
“Hey. Can I join you?”
Veronica glanced up at the voice, eyes widening at the sight of Hannah, plate of food in hand. Even at the Hut, she wasn’t safe. “What?” she asked, sharper than she intended.
Hannah smiled slightly, glancing at the open chair in front of Veronica. “May I join you?”
After a long pause, Veronica removed her bag from the seat, pushing her food and drink to the side. “Be my guest.”
Hannah smiled, sitting down and setting her plate down on the table. She ate quietly for a moment, before glancing at Veronica’s notebook. “What are you writing?”
Veronica impulsively covered her resignation letter, forcing a smile. “Nothing. Just my resignation letter.”
“For the paper?” Veronica nodded, and Hannah sighed, smiling. “Going to become a full time wife and mother?”
Veronica was quiet for a moment, glancing at her cup of coffee. Not exactly. She definitely wasn’t going to tell Hannah of all people that she was handing in the resignation so she could catch that plane to Paris before the wedding. There was no way. “Sure.”
“Enjoy it- the wedding’s only a week away!” Hannah grinned, digging her fork into her salad. “Despite all our differences, I really like you, Veronica.” She paused, chewing on her food. “Logan’s made a couple of mistakes, but he’s changed now. I know it was just a mistake.”
“Good.” Veronica said quietly.
“I forgive you both.”
“You shouldn’t,” Veronica replied with a laugh, her voice strained. “You really shouldn’t.”
Hannah smiled slightly, shrugging. “That’s just the type of girl I am, I guess.” She lifted her head, her smile growing. “I think that’s why Logan wrote Idina the way he did, you know?” Veronica stared at her questioningly, and she nodded. “Did you read the book?”
Veronica frowned slightly. “Didn’t finish it...”
Hannah nodded again, taking a moment to take a sip of her soda. “Well, in the book, Idina forgave Mark for putting her in danger at a party they were at. It was disgusting, but she forgave him because she was so understanding-”
Veronica laughed softly, shaking her head. “That wasn’t how it happened, it wasn’t all-” she said before she could stop herself. She froze, her eyes shutting painfully as Hannah gasped. She glanced up at the girl, who was horribly silent. “Hannah.”
“Oh my God,” Hannah whispered, staring down at her food. “The book’s about you,” She whispered. “Oh my God...”
Veronica shifted uncomfortably, unsure of whether to try to console her or not. “Hannah...”
“How could I have been so stupid?” she gasped, looking up at Veronica. “Of course it’s about you. It’s always been about you.” Her jaw clenched as she ran her hands through her hair, clutching at the roots. “I’m so stupid...”
“Hannah,” Veronica swallowed hard, trying to figure out how to make it all better. Nothing came to mind. “He- he tried to stop...we tried to stop. He...”
“Does Duncan know?” Hannah asked suddenly. “Am I the only stupid one?”
Veronica sighed, shaking her head. “Duncan doesn’t know.”
Hannah laughed faintly, a hint of bitterness in her voice. “Oh, good. I’m not the only moron.”
“Hannah, it’s best...” Veronica trailed off, wondering if she should tell her now that they were going to leave. Maybe spare the girl an even worse pain. “Hannah, it’s best if you just let-”
Hannah scowled at Veronica. “Just so you know, I found Logan’s little plane ticket.” Veronica mouth dropped, and Hannah nodded quickly. “I destroyed it. It doesn’t exist, and neither do you. Stay away from my boyfriend, Veronica.” She climbed to her feet, gathering her things hastily. “Stay away from him, or I’m telling Duncan, do you understand me?”
“Go ahead,” Veronica whispered, and Hannah rolled her eyes, stomping away. She reached for her cell phone, but someone beat her to the punch as it rang loudly. She answered, inhaling deeply. “Hello.”
“Veronica, it’s gone.” Logan’s panicked voice came from the other end.
“Hannah knows,” Veronica said quietly, her shoulders slouching. “She knows, and she’s probably going home right now. She’s pissed, Logan.”
“FUCK.”
Veronica’s eyes closed as he hung up, a shaky breath escaping her. Over. It was almost over. It had to be.
Next part, 1c