Fic: Crash and Yearn ~ NC-17
Title: Crash and Yearn
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Written for VM_Redux (before the hiatus). From the prompt: Veronica goes to [Lamb] for comfort and for confirmation that she is still alive and well after the bus crash.
Spoilers: 2x01
Characters/Pairing: V/Lamb, slight V/Duncan, Dick, Gia, mentions Meg, Duncan/Meg, Weevil, Cassidy, Keith, Lilly
Warnings: Smut, language, Dick’s usual brand of insensitivity
Word Count: 5708
Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I’m simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: I only included the bare minimum of V/Duncan and only because he was the one comforting her at the cliff’s edge. I wouldn’t even call it shippy unless you want to see it that way.
~~
“Man, this is killin’ my buzz,” Dick sighed as he clapped a hand on Duncan’s shoulder.
Duncan couldn’t hide the look of horror and disgust that crossed his features as he looked to his friend. A bus full of their classmates, one of which being an ex-girlfriend of his, had just gone over a cliff. They had died and Dick had the audacity to comment about it killing his buzz?! His only comfort was the fact that Veronica hadn’t been on the bus like he had feared. Instead she was there, with him, in his arms, drawing comfort from him.
“You’re really sick, man,” he told him finally.
“Whatever. Anybody needs me, I’ll be getting’ my survivor drink on,” he called out to those still standing at the cliff’s edge as he wandered back to the limo.
“Hey, Dick, uh, you want some company?” Gia asked him. Her shock had begun to fade and standing around with those wallowing hadn’t been her idea of a good time either and she could certainly go for a celebratory drink.
“Most definitely,” he answered with a wide grin. At least someone appreciated his initiative.
Duncan looked back over at them, seeing Cassidy following them back to the limo too while Weevil remained beside his motorcycle and knew he was going to hate himself for what he was about to suggest.
“Maybe they don’t entirely have the wrong idea,” he stated cautiously to Veronica.
“What?” She blinked herself out of her daze. Had Duncan said something?
“Maybe we should go too, this can’t be good for any of us.”
Veronica jumped back out of his embrace as though she had been burned. “Are you kidding? We can’t leave - the police - leaving the scene of an accident -”
“We didn’t cause the accident, Veronica. It’s not the same thing. You didn’t even see the crash and I’m pretty sure the sheriff wouldn’t get around to interviewing us for another day or two anyway given how massive this is.”
Okay, he was right about that, she had to admit. Reluctantly, she let him lead her back to the limo that she felt guilty for even considering getting into. If she hadn’t been there in the first place Meg would have been in her rightful place, in the limo, with Duncan, not in the bus, not -
She couldn’t even think it. Meg couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t be.
As the limo pulled away from the scene her thoughts began to consume her. Was any of this real? Had she really been on the bus? Was this all a mirage? Was this limo taking her to heaven or hell? Would she be doomed to relive this day for all eternity with her friends? Were they really the ones who were dead and not those who had been on the bus? Had the limo gone over too?
Veronica had seen it in movies before. People who were dead and just didn’t know it. Often it had been because what caused their demise had been so sudden.
Like bus crashes, for instance. Three and a half seconds of screams, cries and prayers before the bus crashed through the guard rail and off the side of the cliff. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind despite not having been there to see it initially. The words painted a picture that was vivid enough and even that was just too much for her.
Veronica really didn’t know how she could still be alive. Images came back to her of not having been on the bus, of riding with Weevil to the scene on the back of his motorcycle. But then she remembered that flash of Lilly she had seen back at the gas station. She didn’t know what was real. Everyone she saw seemed to be in their own daze. Dick and Gia seemed the most normal of all. Were they flirting? Who flirted after witnessing a tragedy? More proof this wasn’t real, she decided.
Maybe it was a nightmare, one she would wake up from any second. She could hope.
She did hope.
But as Duncan led her into his suite at the Grand it began to dawn a little more on her. Theirs had been the limo’s first stop. She couldn’t remember the elevator ride, couldn’t even remember walking. But there she was and there Duncan was and there the sofa was and he was sitting her down on it before taking the seat beside her.
“Do you need me to get you anything? Water?” he asked her. She had been silent the whole ride, the whole way up to the penthouse. It was easily the second most terrified he had been all day. He would have had the driver take her home but he knew Keith was out of town for another book interview and he wasn’t about to leave her there alone and he couldn’t help but fear Keith’s wrath should he find him there with her. At least here she could regroup for the night and he could hopefully get a calmer Veronica back to her apartment tomorrow.
Veronica only shook her head in reply. She needed to know what was real, she needed to know who was really alive and who wasn’t. She needed to know what happened today and why.
“How did it happen?” she asked what seemed an eternity later.
“It was like Gia said. The bus just - it went right off the cliff. They didn’t even slow down.”
Veronica took a deep, yet shaky breath. Had the vision of Lilly been real? Had it been her way of protecting her? Or had it been her way of saying she would see her soon?
She had to give Duncan credit over the next five hours as he had really tried to cheer her up. Movies, watching anything that wasn’t the news, letting her call her father to tell him she was alright before he had a chance to wonder. Really, if she had been present enough mentally she might have been bothered by how upbeat Duncan was acting but she couldn’t even concentrate on it. Her questions kept coming back.
One thing she knew for sure though was she couldn’t spend the night with Duncan. She needed to get home. Not that she was okay to drive even if she had brought her car, but she had to get out of the suite, just plain away.
“I left some of my books at the Hut, do you think - ?”
Duncan nodded. He knew how she often needed to bury herself in her work after things like this and school was most definitely going to go on.
“You can go, I can walk,” Veronica told him when she had picked up her backpack which she really had left at the Hut by accident.
“Veronica -”
“I need to walk,” she insisted. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me today, but I just can’t do this. I need to be alone right now. My dad will be back in the morning, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Are you really sure?” Duncan knew she often chose solitude when things got too intense for her, but he still didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone like this.
Veronica had already made up her mind. She wouldn’t be alone for long. Not if she really was still alive. Because if she was alive he would see her, she would be able to touch him, he would prove to her she was still there.
The bright side was that it would’ve even be that far of a walk for her. That was the real reason she had told Duncan to leave her there. She would have to drive if he had taken her home, here she could walk.
**
It was after 2 A.M. when Don finally made it home. Seven straight hours of organizing interviews with the parents of the kids who were in the limo, talking with the principal, giving the notifications to the parents of the kids who weren’t lucky enough to be in the limo, having to give the same notifications to the families of the teachers and driver. It was the longest day he had had in years and all he wanted was to sleep for as long as he could. As it was he would get four hours, maybe, if he was extremely lucky.
He had been too distracted to even notice that his front door had been unlocked when he walked in. Actually he had been a little thankful. Fumbling with his keys would have only made his night even longer. Images of the wreckage and what he had seen of the victims weren’t leaving him. One of the kids had made it. She was in a coma, but she was still technically alive. That had been the one highlight of his day.
The darkest however was one he refused to even voice. By all accounts the thorn in his side had been on the bus too. Her body hadn’t been recovered from the scene, but from the few words he had gotten from those who had seen the manifest before the bus left the school was that Veronica Mars had been on the bus.
He had already nearly thrown up once at the idea that she had been killed and that he would have to be the one to tell Keith. He had gotten his voicemail when he had tried to call him earlier and he wasn’t about to break the news to him like that. All he could do now was wait. Preferably with a fifth of Jack he had been saving for a night like this.
Veronica knew the moment of truth was finally there when she saw Lamb come into his bedroom. It was dark, but thanks to his apartment complex’s security light shining through the window there was enough ambient light for her to recognize his shape.
“I feel like I should be impressed. I expected you two hours ago,” she told him.
As a former deputy and current sheriff, Lamb had been in shootouts, had faced bomb threats, robberies, killers, pretty much every imaginable evil those in law enforcement came into contact with daily. Or at least Neptune’s brand. But this, hearing her voice now, all but made him jump out of his skin.
She sat up and let her legs dangle off the side of his bed before turning her head to look over in his direction where he seemed frozen in the doorway. “I didn’t want to go home. No one’s there. Duncan kept trying to cheer me up. I don’t know why, but I wanted to be here.”
“Mars?” he choked out. His heart was pounding and he didn’t dare turn on his bedroom light for fear she would vanish. Either this was a dream or she was a ghost. He couldn’t be sure which would be worse.
“Deputy,” she replied with as much of a smirk as she could muster.
“The bus -” was all his suddenly all too dry throat could manage.
“I wasn’t on it,” she told him, repeating what Weevil’s and Duncan’s insistences. “Not on the way back.”
Could she really still be alive? Could he be that lucky? No time like the present to find out, he decided. He neared her with calculated steps, still not wanting to scare her off or risk this in fact being a mirage and shattering it, not after this hellacious day. Not on the day he had realized what a world without Veronica Mars would do to him.
Veronica looked up at him when he was finally standing just in front of her. She didn’t know what to expect, she knew what she should have expected on a typical night. An accusation of breaking and entering, trespassing, a threat of a night in jail, or him pinning her to his bed and taking what she knew he had been wanting since she would saunter into the station in her pep squad outfit when she was sixteen. But this wasn’t a typical night by any means that was becoming increasingly more evident as his blues searched her face as if looking for any sign that she wasn’t really there.
Don couldn’t stop himself from bringing his hand to her cheek finally, needing to touch her, needing to know if he had actually snapped or if she had - for reasons he couldn’t imagine - chosen to come to him instead of her seemingly endless line of rich boys or D’Amato.
Veronica not only let him, but leaned her cheek into his palm. Could ghosts feel warmth? She could. Did that mean this was real? Her own heart began to beat just a little faster at the hope her question had brought to the surface and the fact her first teenage love was touching her and had actually seemed concerned for her.
Don had had some pretty realistic dreams in the past and part of him was growing evermore convinced this was yet another. Veronica Mars was letting him touch her. Just her face, sure, but she wasn’t pulling away like he had always expected she would. And when her eyes slowly closed and her hand came up and rested over his he was convinced this was going to be it. This was her saying goodbye to the deputy she’d had that schoolgirl crush on and in seconds she would fade from his sight and leave him to wallow in his grief.
“Please don’t tell me to leave,” she breathed as she pressed his hand just a little more against her cheek, needing that contact for as long as he would let her have it. He was so warm and he was there, even if nothing else was real she knew he was and despite the animosity she had felt towards him for the better part of the last two years she knew this was where she wanted to be.
If anyone could prove to her that she was still there, it was him. And if she wasn’t, well, at least she could say she had finally gotten a night with her favorite former deputy. Knowing now that he cared about her was intoxicating and shocking all at once, but she didn’t want to lose this feeling.
“Are you really here?” he asked with a steadying breath. If she was going to rip out what was left of his heart he could only pray she would do it quickly.
With that Veronica released his hand and stood from his bed. Mere inches from him, she could see the play of emotions across his face despite the room’s darkness. She really didn’t know herself, but she told him the truth nonetheless. “I’m hoping you can tell me.”
When Lamb felt her soft, warm, raspberry-flavored lips against his mouth an instant later, he couldn’t stop himself from just short of crushing her body into his as he claimed her mouth in return. She was soft in his hands, but she was solid, she felt like she should, so close to how he had always imagined. She wasn’t vanishing, she wasn’t cold and while this could still be a trick of his tired mind, he refused to believe it was a lie.
Dream Veronica never talked about Duncan, Dream Veronica would have been waiting - naked - in his bed for him and Dream Veronica never, ever did that much talking. He doubted she would make an exception tonight and now that he had her finally tearing down that stone wall she had built between them he wasn’t about to squander the opportunity despite their current mental states.
She needed air, that was Veronica’s first conscious thought in several minutes. Okay, that and Neptune’s sheriff could seriously kiss in ways no man like him should know how to. In fact she still didn’t want to stop, but her lungs weren’t giving her an option. Did ghosts need to breathe? She wanted to say no, but really she still had no idea what she could believe tonight beyond the fact that if she wasn’t dead or dreaming then she had really kissed the real Don Lamb and in that moment, despite that realization, she only wanted to do it again.
“That felt pretty real to me,” Lamb panted with his hands still cupping her face, his forehead to hers and his lips just a breath from her own.
“Is that a good thing?” She had already decided it was, but then that nemesis feeling had seemed pretty mutual for these last two years. She had to ask.
“God, Veronica,” he sighed as he looked her over again, his hands falling to her shoulders. “When I thought you were -”
She almost wanted to laugh, it would have been her first all day. Was she seriously about to have to comfort or console him?! “I’m not,” she told him, unsure now if she was more reassuring him or herself.
“I haven’t been that scared since -” He didn’t even know when, today had taken so much out of him. Too many thoughts of that tiny blonde who would bounce into the station and try to get his attention any way he could, the anger he had felt at someone having taken her from him, the images of what he would do to the bastard when he found him. Then there was the idea that he would never have what he had in that moment, Veronica Mars, in his arms, kissing him, pleading to stay with him even if just for tonight. And now that he had all o that he wasn’t about to let it slip away.
Veronica kissed him again at that, she had no words that time. She couldn’t even bring herself to tell him how scared she had been herself or even how much she still wanted him. She had sworn a long time ago she would never let him see her vulnerable again and now that she had managed to blow that clear out of the water, she decided there was only one way to take it further. He had admitted he had been scared of losing her, with that he had earned this.
It was Veronica’s turn to gasp slightly through their kiss when she felt his hands moving up under her shirt, his palms flat against her stomach and slowly trailing upwards over her ribs and bra, bringing her shirt higher all the while.
The only thing that stopped Don from taking full advantage of that opening mouth was the fact that he knew if he did then he wouldn’t want to stop and given that not stopping would have interfered with the fact that Veronica was letting him take her top off of her wasn’t an option. Veronica’s moan at the loss of contact when he broke their kiss was just icing on the cake.
“Tit for tat, Sheriff,” she smirked when he tossed her top aside. Her fingers unclipped his work tie and when to work at the buttons of his uniform shirt. She didn’t miss the fact her words had caused his eyes to travel straight to her still cotton and lace imprisoned breasts and lick his lips. Her own bonus, she decided.
When his khaki shirt and undershirt were both gone, before she could even take the time to marvel at his body in return, he pulled her back into another fevered kiss and held her body to him to let her feel the effect she was having on him. He decided he would let her decide from that if she wanted to stop. It would be her only warning as to just how far he intended to take this.
Veronica’s response, to his relief, came in the form of another soft moan as her tongue continued to duel with his for supremacy with a twist of her hips against his, her own body begging for the sweet friction he was promising.
With that he knew she wasn’t going to just leave him like this, that she wanted to go the distance herself. Never breaking their kiss, he laid her down onto his bed in one fluid motion, moving to lay beside her an instant later. The hand he’d had cradling her neck lowered and Veronica arched up when she felt it moving down her back.
She sighed out again when she felt the clasp of her bra come undone and Lamb greedily took it before taking the scrap of blue cotton from her and tossing it to the floor. Part of her brain wanted to curse the cool air hitting her skin for her nipples instantly stiffening, but she knew the air wasn’t completely to blame. When she felt Lamb’s hand trailing back around her side she knew he was about to know it too.
“I always knew you’d never gotten over me,” he smirked down at her as he rolled a taut nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
Veronica groaned as her head canted back but as this was ironically bringing back a few of her other senses, she managed to snark back, “And yet this is the first time I’ve been under you.”
Don almost laughed. “If I have it my way it’ll be the first of many more to come,” he replied before kissing her again.
In some way Veronica knew she should argue that, that this was just going to be a one-time thing, some lapse in good judgment brought on by grief, shock and stress. Hell, she hadn’t even known if she had been alive when she first kissed him! But his mouth was incredible and he tasted like cinnamon and until tonight she had never known it was possible to nearly have an orgasm just by the way he had alternately filling his large hands with her breasts and squeezing just enough to make her moan in pure pleasure.
And just like that she was back to wondering if she was in fact dead. The kisses he trailed down her neck and along the valley between her breasts were nice, but when his lips hungrily clamped around one of her straining nipples, his fingers toying with its twin, she almost lost it. She was only thankful in that moment she still had her jeans and underwear on. Somehow the idea of Don Lamb knowing how wet he was getting her just with his mouth was still something she couldn’t handle.
Of course she should have known that thought would be telegraphed to his brain in no time given that after another minute, when he knew her lower half had to be growing as wanton as he was currently leaving her breasts, he kissed along her taut stomach and moved to undo her belt and snap of her jeans. Veronica watched him for each of those painfully long seconds as he lowered the denim off of her. Panties still on, she let out a sigh of relief. Soaked through, perhaps, but for now -
She had thought too soon. Instantly his fingers were curling under the waistband of her low-rise bikinis and in seconds they were lowering them down her legs and ankles before they were off of her and on his bedroom floor with the rest of her clothes.
“You smell so damn good,” Don sighed out appreciatively as he kissed up the length of one leg before running his tongue slowly over her opposite inner thigh. The combination of vanilla, jasmine and the sweet musk he was drawing from her was making him almost drunk with power. Maybe she didn’t know it, but her legs were already open for him and whether or not she liked it - which she certainly seemed to be at the moment - she was giving him one hell of an invitation.
“Don’t make me forget your ability to use your mouth for good instead of evil,” she all but groaned as her hips gave a slight pump towards his teasing tongue.
He laughed. “All you had to say was please.”
She sighed. “Please remind me of your ability to use your mouth for good instead of evil.”
“You can do better than that, Veronica,” he smirked before circling his tongue at the spot where her thigh just nearly met those lips he couldn’t wait to bury his nearly solid cock between.
She moaned again. She really didn’t want to say it but she knew he was one stubborn bastard. It was either admit what she wanted or never get it. As turned on as she was, she didn’t stand a chance. “Please lick me, eat me, whatever you want, just -”
Lamb didn’t even wait for her to finish before her licked her, darting his tongue between her folds, teasing her, having to take hold of her hips finally to keep her in place when she started to thrust them in hope of more contact. It wasn’t just his ego that was swelling with the knowledge of what he was continuing to do to her, but after the day they’d both had, the uncertainty, he wasn’t going to let her rush it.
Veronica gasped when his tongue ran over her clit and when he repeated the maneuver her subsequent moan had her grabbing his pillow and pulling it over her face to quiet herself. She didn’t care about his neighbors, she was just refusing to prove to him that he had the ability to do this to her.
Lamb wasn’t having it though and without relinquishing his task, he trailed one hand up from her hip and returned his attention to her breast. It served as just the right distraction because seconds later when he released her he managed to reach up and take the pillow from her before tossing it to the other side of the bed.
That time Veronica groaned in defeat. Her body was on fire, desperate for release, Lamb was still mostly holding her in place, in nearly complete control despite that one of her hands had at some point filled itself with his short hair to keep his mouth where she wanted it and now she couldn’t even conceal the sounds he was causing her to make.
“I want to hear you,” he stated, only taking his mouth from her for a moment.
Her first thought was that of course he did, there was victory in this for him. But was a bit of a relief too, almost up there with him liking her as is, moaning and all. With that she did the only thing she felt she could. She laid back and took his blissful torture.
It was when his lips closed around her clit and created just the right amount of suction that Veronica knew she wouldn’t last much longer.
Don had wanted to draw it out even longer, to really give her the full effect of a night with him, but his pants were way too damn tight and he would have to break contact with her anyway just to get them off. At least this way he could take care of her and then hope she would still be willing to take care of his own need.
Veronica sucked in another gasp when Lamb’s hand grasped one of her breasts again. The double team was officially too much for her entirely too turned on body. With a sharp shudder and long, low moan she came and she couldn’t help but be impressed that Lamb actually kept with her until her body had begun to calm.
Sitting up, he couldn’t help but admire his handiwork for a moment as he ran a hand down over his mouth and chin to wipe away the sticky remnants of her juices. Veronica Mars enjoying the afterglow from an orgasm he had given her. Yeah, his pants and boxers were gone in another moment.
“Where are you going?” she asked as he started walking towards the other side of the bed.
“You want to explain a potential mini-me to Keith?” he asked as held up a foil packet from his nightstand.
She almost laughed. No, she really didn’t. “So you still want me?” she quipped as, once sheathed, he lowered his impressive body to hers.
Aligning his almost painfully hard cock with her oh so warm and wet cunt, he asked, “What do you think?”
“That I want to hear you say it,” she smirked up at him as her arms encircled his shoulders.
He almost laughed, contemplating how she would react if he kissed her with his mouth still tasting like part of him hoped it always would. The memory of tonight was not one he was in a rush to lose anymore. His eyes on hers, he told her, “I want you, Veronica Mars. Just you.”
Her legs were around his hips faster than she could say, “Then take me, Sheriff.”
He slowly sank into her, at least part of him still wanting to savor this. He watched her face as he did, seeing her eyes fluttering closed and feeling her hips rise to meet his was almost enough to send him over the edge then. But unlike those he was willing to bet she was used to, he wasn’t a teenager and seeing how much she was enjoying this herself as he pulled back and thrust home once more was worth his every ounce of willpower.
It was Veronica to pull him into another passionate kiss and the taste of her on his mouth was actually more of a turn on than it probably should have been. The fact she could taste the proof that he had done what she had heard so many guys in her age group worked to get out of was definitely another plus for him.
She moaned out when he sped their pace and when his middle finger lowered to her clit, she couldn’t keep from arching up off his bed again. The things that man could do with his hands should be illegal, though with all of the other illegal things she had managed to get away with enjoying, she could handle this being added to the list. It definitely topped stealing medical records and bugging offices.
Barely being able to keep up with their kiss through his own sighs and groans as he continued to thrust in and out of her, Don dipped his head and kissed along her neck and jaw. And it was when his mouth continued down her chest again, having caught on earlier how sensitive her breasts clearly were, that he felt her muscles clamp hard around him.
It was a full triple attack when the hand that had been between them moved to tweak one nipple while his tongue teased its straining twin. Veronica couldn’t win. Of all the times she had been at his mercy she had only ever imagined it would be this way. Still, it instantly became her favorite as she came for the second time that night, thanks to the local sheriff.
She was quiet, but not silent and it was that look of indescribable bliss on her face that finally caused him to come undone.
It was Veronica’s turn to feel victorious when she heard him groan and felt his strokes slowing. She watched him as he came down from his orgasmic high before he all but collapsed on top of her. Despite his slightly less than comfortable weight atop her, she brought his mouth to hers for another kiss that while far lazier than those previous was no less enjoyable.
When he finally did roll off of her, out of her, Veronica couldn’t help a disappointed groan at the loss of contact.
Lamb caught it, of course, and smirked even as he stripped off the condom and tossed it into his wastebasket. “Don’t worry, Mars. I don’t plan on this being a one-time deal,” he told her before inviting her to rest closer to him.
“So you expect us to have more close calls and needing to be reminded that we’re still alive?” she asked as she laid a rather possessive arm around his waist and laid her head down on his chest.
He sighed. “Plan on it? No. But I am the sheriff and you do have a knack for getting yourself into some dangerous situations. Either way, I don’t plan on close calls being the reason for us having repeats of our more enjoyable moments from tonight.”
“Who knew? You would’ve really missed me if I died.”
Don brushed a lock of hair from her face and locked his blues onto hers. “And you came to me.”
“Guess we’re both full of surprises tonight,” she quipped nervously, her eyes pleading for what she dared not admit in words she wanted.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Veronica,” he sighed, still trying to memorize every detail of her.
“And to think I didn’t even mean to this time.” This was getting weird again. She had to do something to fix it. Talking worked, she decided. “Speaking of our more enjoyable moments from tonight, you’d better not be hoping for nooners in your office.”
He laughed. “Aw, you don’t want Sacks to hear you moaning for me?”
Blue locked on blue again as she gave him The Veronica Stare.
Lamb only laughed harder even as he held her closer. “Okay, you win, I do like being the only one to know how you sound when you’re with me.”
“For the record, I’m glad I’m not dead.”
He nodded as he ran his fingertips along her arm. “For the record, I’m glad you came here. And not just for the obvious reason.”
She smiled up at him. It was amazing that he was really telling the truth and it only made her hold him tighter in response.
When he tilted her chin up to kiss her a moment later, Veronica knew why. Words were never going to express how thankful he was himself. There were alive, they were there, they where together. That was all that mattered.
The End
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Written for VM_Redux (before the hiatus). From the prompt: Veronica goes to [Lamb] for comfort and for confirmation that she is still alive and well after the bus crash.
Spoilers: 2x01
Characters/Pairing: V/Lamb, slight V/Duncan, Dick, Gia, mentions Meg, Duncan/Meg, Weevil, Cassidy, Keith, Lilly
Warnings: Smut, language, Dick’s usual brand of insensitivity
Word Count: 5708
Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I’m simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: I only included the bare minimum of V/Duncan and only because he was the one comforting her at the cliff’s edge. I wouldn’t even call it shippy unless you want to see it that way.
~~
“Man, this is killin’ my buzz,” Dick sighed as he clapped a hand on Duncan’s shoulder.
Duncan couldn’t hide the look of horror and disgust that crossed his features as he looked to his friend. A bus full of their classmates, one of which being an ex-girlfriend of his, had just gone over a cliff. They had died and Dick had the audacity to comment about it killing his buzz?! His only comfort was the fact that Veronica hadn’t been on the bus like he had feared. Instead she was there, with him, in his arms, drawing comfort from him.
“You’re really sick, man,” he told him finally.
“Whatever. Anybody needs me, I’ll be getting’ my survivor drink on,” he called out to those still standing at the cliff’s edge as he wandered back to the limo.
“Hey, Dick, uh, you want some company?” Gia asked him. Her shock had begun to fade and standing around with those wallowing hadn’t been her idea of a good time either and she could certainly go for a celebratory drink.
“Most definitely,” he answered with a wide grin. At least someone appreciated his initiative.
Duncan looked back over at them, seeing Cassidy following them back to the limo too while Weevil remained beside his motorcycle and knew he was going to hate himself for what he was about to suggest.
“Maybe they don’t entirely have the wrong idea,” he stated cautiously to Veronica.
“What?” She blinked herself out of her daze. Had Duncan said something?
“Maybe we should go too, this can’t be good for any of us.”
Veronica jumped back out of his embrace as though she had been burned. “Are you kidding? We can’t leave - the police - leaving the scene of an accident -”
“We didn’t cause the accident, Veronica. It’s not the same thing. You didn’t even see the crash and I’m pretty sure the sheriff wouldn’t get around to interviewing us for another day or two anyway given how massive this is.”
Okay, he was right about that, she had to admit. Reluctantly, she let him lead her back to the limo that she felt guilty for even considering getting into. If she hadn’t been there in the first place Meg would have been in her rightful place, in the limo, with Duncan, not in the bus, not -
She couldn’t even think it. Meg couldn’t be dead. She couldn’t be.
As the limo pulled away from the scene her thoughts began to consume her. Was any of this real? Had she really been on the bus? Was this all a mirage? Was this limo taking her to heaven or hell? Would she be doomed to relive this day for all eternity with her friends? Were they really the ones who were dead and not those who had been on the bus? Had the limo gone over too?
Veronica had seen it in movies before. People who were dead and just didn’t know it. Often it had been because what caused their demise had been so sudden.
Like bus crashes, for instance. Three and a half seconds of screams, cries and prayers before the bus crashed through the guard rail and off the side of the cliff. She couldn’t get the image out of her mind despite not having been there to see it initially. The words painted a picture that was vivid enough and even that was just too much for her.
Veronica really didn’t know how she could still be alive. Images came back to her of not having been on the bus, of riding with Weevil to the scene on the back of his motorcycle. But then she remembered that flash of Lilly she had seen back at the gas station. She didn’t know what was real. Everyone she saw seemed to be in their own daze. Dick and Gia seemed the most normal of all. Were they flirting? Who flirted after witnessing a tragedy? More proof this wasn’t real, she decided.
Maybe it was a nightmare, one she would wake up from any second. She could hope.
She did hope.
But as Duncan led her into his suite at the Grand it began to dawn a little more on her. Theirs had been the limo’s first stop. She couldn’t remember the elevator ride, couldn’t even remember walking. But there she was and there Duncan was and there the sofa was and he was sitting her down on it before taking the seat beside her.
“Do you need me to get you anything? Water?” he asked her. She had been silent the whole ride, the whole way up to the penthouse. It was easily the second most terrified he had been all day. He would have had the driver take her home but he knew Keith was out of town for another book interview and he wasn’t about to leave her there alone and he couldn’t help but fear Keith’s wrath should he find him there with her. At least here she could regroup for the night and he could hopefully get a calmer Veronica back to her apartment tomorrow.
Veronica only shook her head in reply. She needed to know what was real, she needed to know who was really alive and who wasn’t. She needed to know what happened today and why.
“How did it happen?” she asked what seemed an eternity later.
“It was like Gia said. The bus just - it went right off the cliff. They didn’t even slow down.”
Veronica took a deep, yet shaky breath. Had the vision of Lilly been real? Had it been her way of protecting her? Or had it been her way of saying she would see her soon?
She had to give Duncan credit over the next five hours as he had really tried to cheer her up. Movies, watching anything that wasn’t the news, letting her call her father to tell him she was alright before he had a chance to wonder. Really, if she had been present enough mentally she might have been bothered by how upbeat Duncan was acting but she couldn’t even concentrate on it. Her questions kept coming back.
One thing she knew for sure though was she couldn’t spend the night with Duncan. She needed to get home. Not that she was okay to drive even if she had brought her car, but she had to get out of the suite, just plain away.
“I left some of my books at the Hut, do you think - ?”
Duncan nodded. He knew how she often needed to bury herself in her work after things like this and school was most definitely going to go on.
“You can go, I can walk,” Veronica told him when she had picked up her backpack which she really had left at the Hut by accident.
“Veronica -”
“I need to walk,” she insisted. “I appreciate what you’ve done for me today, but I just can’t do this. I need to be alone right now. My dad will be back in the morning, you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Are you really sure?” Duncan knew she often chose solitude when things got too intense for her, but he still didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone like this.
Veronica had already made up her mind. She wouldn’t be alone for long. Not if she really was still alive. Because if she was alive he would see her, she would be able to touch him, he would prove to her she was still there.
The bright side was that it would’ve even be that far of a walk for her. That was the real reason she had told Duncan to leave her there. She would have to drive if he had taken her home, here she could walk.
**
It was after 2 A.M. when Don finally made it home. Seven straight hours of organizing interviews with the parents of the kids who were in the limo, talking with the principal, giving the notifications to the parents of the kids who weren’t lucky enough to be in the limo, having to give the same notifications to the families of the teachers and driver. It was the longest day he had had in years and all he wanted was to sleep for as long as he could. As it was he would get four hours, maybe, if he was extremely lucky.
He had been too distracted to even notice that his front door had been unlocked when he walked in. Actually he had been a little thankful. Fumbling with his keys would have only made his night even longer. Images of the wreckage and what he had seen of the victims weren’t leaving him. One of the kids had made it. She was in a coma, but she was still technically alive. That had been the one highlight of his day.
The darkest however was one he refused to even voice. By all accounts the thorn in his side had been on the bus too. Her body hadn’t been recovered from the scene, but from the few words he had gotten from those who had seen the manifest before the bus left the school was that Veronica Mars had been on the bus.
He had already nearly thrown up once at the idea that she had been killed and that he would have to be the one to tell Keith. He had gotten his voicemail when he had tried to call him earlier and he wasn’t about to break the news to him like that. All he could do now was wait. Preferably with a fifth of Jack he had been saving for a night like this.
Veronica knew the moment of truth was finally there when she saw Lamb come into his bedroom. It was dark, but thanks to his apartment complex’s security light shining through the window there was enough ambient light for her to recognize his shape.
“I feel like I should be impressed. I expected you two hours ago,” she told him.
As a former deputy and current sheriff, Lamb had been in shootouts, had faced bomb threats, robberies, killers, pretty much every imaginable evil those in law enforcement came into contact with daily. Or at least Neptune’s brand. But this, hearing her voice now, all but made him jump out of his skin.
She sat up and let her legs dangle off the side of his bed before turning her head to look over in his direction where he seemed frozen in the doorway. “I didn’t want to go home. No one’s there. Duncan kept trying to cheer me up. I don’t know why, but I wanted to be here.”
“Mars?” he choked out. His heart was pounding and he didn’t dare turn on his bedroom light for fear she would vanish. Either this was a dream or she was a ghost. He couldn’t be sure which would be worse.
“Deputy,” she replied with as much of a smirk as she could muster.
“The bus -” was all his suddenly all too dry throat could manage.
“I wasn’t on it,” she told him, repeating what Weevil’s and Duncan’s insistences. “Not on the way back.”
Could she really still be alive? Could he be that lucky? No time like the present to find out, he decided. He neared her with calculated steps, still not wanting to scare her off or risk this in fact being a mirage and shattering it, not after this hellacious day. Not on the day he had realized what a world without Veronica Mars would do to him.
Veronica looked up at him when he was finally standing just in front of her. She didn’t know what to expect, she knew what she should have expected on a typical night. An accusation of breaking and entering, trespassing, a threat of a night in jail, or him pinning her to his bed and taking what she knew he had been wanting since she would saunter into the station in her pep squad outfit when she was sixteen. But this wasn’t a typical night by any means that was becoming increasingly more evident as his blues searched her face as if looking for any sign that she wasn’t really there.
Don couldn’t stop himself from bringing his hand to her cheek finally, needing to touch her, needing to know if he had actually snapped or if she had - for reasons he couldn’t imagine - chosen to come to him instead of her seemingly endless line of rich boys or D’Amato.
Veronica not only let him, but leaned her cheek into his palm. Could ghosts feel warmth? She could. Did that mean this was real? Her own heart began to beat just a little faster at the hope her question had brought to the surface and the fact her first teenage love was touching her and had actually seemed concerned for her.
Don had had some pretty realistic dreams in the past and part of him was growing evermore convinced this was yet another. Veronica Mars was letting him touch her. Just her face, sure, but she wasn’t pulling away like he had always expected she would. And when her eyes slowly closed and her hand came up and rested over his he was convinced this was going to be it. This was her saying goodbye to the deputy she’d had that schoolgirl crush on and in seconds she would fade from his sight and leave him to wallow in his grief.
“Please don’t tell me to leave,” she breathed as she pressed his hand just a little more against her cheek, needing that contact for as long as he would let her have it. He was so warm and he was there, even if nothing else was real she knew he was and despite the animosity she had felt towards him for the better part of the last two years she knew this was where she wanted to be.
If anyone could prove to her that she was still there, it was him. And if she wasn’t, well, at least she could say she had finally gotten a night with her favorite former deputy. Knowing now that he cared about her was intoxicating and shocking all at once, but she didn’t want to lose this feeling.
“Are you really here?” he asked with a steadying breath. If she was going to rip out what was left of his heart he could only pray she would do it quickly.
With that Veronica released his hand and stood from his bed. Mere inches from him, she could see the play of emotions across his face despite the room’s darkness. She really didn’t know herself, but she told him the truth nonetheless. “I’m hoping you can tell me.”
When Lamb felt her soft, warm, raspberry-flavored lips against his mouth an instant later, he couldn’t stop himself from just short of crushing her body into his as he claimed her mouth in return. She was soft in his hands, but she was solid, she felt like she should, so close to how he had always imagined. She wasn’t vanishing, she wasn’t cold and while this could still be a trick of his tired mind, he refused to believe it was a lie.
Dream Veronica never talked about Duncan, Dream Veronica would have been waiting - naked - in his bed for him and Dream Veronica never, ever did that much talking. He doubted she would make an exception tonight and now that he had her finally tearing down that stone wall she had built between them he wasn’t about to squander the opportunity despite their current mental states.
She needed air, that was Veronica’s first conscious thought in several minutes. Okay, that and Neptune’s sheriff could seriously kiss in ways no man like him should know how to. In fact she still didn’t want to stop, but her lungs weren’t giving her an option. Did ghosts need to breathe? She wanted to say no, but really she still had no idea what she could believe tonight beyond the fact that if she wasn’t dead or dreaming then she had really kissed the real Don Lamb and in that moment, despite that realization, she only wanted to do it again.
“That felt pretty real to me,” Lamb panted with his hands still cupping her face, his forehead to hers and his lips just a breath from her own.
“Is that a good thing?” She had already decided it was, but then that nemesis feeling had seemed pretty mutual for these last two years. She had to ask.
“God, Veronica,” he sighed as he looked her over again, his hands falling to her shoulders. “When I thought you were -”
She almost wanted to laugh, it would have been her first all day. Was she seriously about to have to comfort or console him?! “I’m not,” she told him, unsure now if she was more reassuring him or herself.
“I haven’t been that scared since -” He didn’t even know when, today had taken so much out of him. Too many thoughts of that tiny blonde who would bounce into the station and try to get his attention any way he could, the anger he had felt at someone having taken her from him, the images of what he would do to the bastard when he found him. Then there was the idea that he would never have what he had in that moment, Veronica Mars, in his arms, kissing him, pleading to stay with him even if just for tonight. And now that he had all o that he wasn’t about to let it slip away.
Veronica kissed him again at that, she had no words that time. She couldn’t even bring herself to tell him how scared she had been herself or even how much she still wanted him. She had sworn a long time ago she would never let him see her vulnerable again and now that she had managed to blow that clear out of the water, she decided there was only one way to take it further. He had admitted he had been scared of losing her, with that he had earned this.
It was Veronica’s turn to gasp slightly through their kiss when she felt his hands moving up under her shirt, his palms flat against her stomach and slowly trailing upwards over her ribs and bra, bringing her shirt higher all the while.
The only thing that stopped Don from taking full advantage of that opening mouth was the fact that he knew if he did then he wouldn’t want to stop and given that not stopping would have interfered with the fact that Veronica was letting him take her top off of her wasn’t an option. Veronica’s moan at the loss of contact when he broke their kiss was just icing on the cake.
“Tit for tat, Sheriff,” she smirked when he tossed her top aside. Her fingers unclipped his work tie and when to work at the buttons of his uniform shirt. She didn’t miss the fact her words had caused his eyes to travel straight to her still cotton and lace imprisoned breasts and lick his lips. Her own bonus, she decided.
When his khaki shirt and undershirt were both gone, before she could even take the time to marvel at his body in return, he pulled her back into another fevered kiss and held her body to him to let her feel the effect she was having on him. He decided he would let her decide from that if she wanted to stop. It would be her only warning as to just how far he intended to take this.
Veronica’s response, to his relief, came in the form of another soft moan as her tongue continued to duel with his for supremacy with a twist of her hips against his, her own body begging for the sweet friction he was promising.
With that he knew she wasn’t going to just leave him like this, that she wanted to go the distance herself. Never breaking their kiss, he laid her down onto his bed in one fluid motion, moving to lay beside her an instant later. The hand he’d had cradling her neck lowered and Veronica arched up when she felt it moving down her back.
She sighed out again when she felt the clasp of her bra come undone and Lamb greedily took it before taking the scrap of blue cotton from her and tossing it to the floor. Part of her brain wanted to curse the cool air hitting her skin for her nipples instantly stiffening, but she knew the air wasn’t completely to blame. When she felt Lamb’s hand trailing back around her side she knew he was about to know it too.
“I always knew you’d never gotten over me,” he smirked down at her as he rolled a taut nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
Veronica groaned as her head canted back but as this was ironically bringing back a few of her other senses, she managed to snark back, “And yet this is the first time I’ve been under you.”
Don almost laughed. “If I have it my way it’ll be the first of many more to come,” he replied before kissing her again.
In some way Veronica knew she should argue that, that this was just going to be a one-time thing, some lapse in good judgment brought on by grief, shock and stress. Hell, she hadn’t even known if she had been alive when she first kissed him! But his mouth was incredible and he tasted like cinnamon and until tonight she had never known it was possible to nearly have an orgasm just by the way he had alternately filling his large hands with her breasts and squeezing just enough to make her moan in pure pleasure.
And just like that she was back to wondering if she was in fact dead. The kisses he trailed down her neck and along the valley between her breasts were nice, but when his lips hungrily clamped around one of her straining nipples, his fingers toying with its twin, she almost lost it. She was only thankful in that moment she still had her jeans and underwear on. Somehow the idea of Don Lamb knowing how wet he was getting her just with his mouth was still something she couldn’t handle.
Of course she should have known that thought would be telegraphed to his brain in no time given that after another minute, when he knew her lower half had to be growing as wanton as he was currently leaving her breasts, he kissed along her taut stomach and moved to undo her belt and snap of her jeans. Veronica watched him for each of those painfully long seconds as he lowered the denim off of her. Panties still on, she let out a sigh of relief. Soaked through, perhaps, but for now -
She had thought too soon. Instantly his fingers were curling under the waistband of her low-rise bikinis and in seconds they were lowering them down her legs and ankles before they were off of her and on his bedroom floor with the rest of her clothes.
“You smell so damn good,” Don sighed out appreciatively as he kissed up the length of one leg before running his tongue slowly over her opposite inner thigh. The combination of vanilla, jasmine and the sweet musk he was drawing from her was making him almost drunk with power. Maybe she didn’t know it, but her legs were already open for him and whether or not she liked it - which she certainly seemed to be at the moment - she was giving him one hell of an invitation.
“Don’t make me forget your ability to use your mouth for good instead of evil,” she all but groaned as her hips gave a slight pump towards his teasing tongue.
He laughed. “All you had to say was please.”
She sighed. “Please remind me of your ability to use your mouth for good instead of evil.”
“You can do better than that, Veronica,” he smirked before circling his tongue at the spot where her thigh just nearly met those lips he couldn’t wait to bury his nearly solid cock between.
She moaned again. She really didn’t want to say it but she knew he was one stubborn bastard. It was either admit what she wanted or never get it. As turned on as she was, she didn’t stand a chance. “Please lick me, eat me, whatever you want, just -”
Lamb didn’t even wait for her to finish before her licked her, darting his tongue between her folds, teasing her, having to take hold of her hips finally to keep her in place when she started to thrust them in hope of more contact. It wasn’t just his ego that was swelling with the knowledge of what he was continuing to do to her, but after the day they’d both had, the uncertainty, he wasn’t going to let her rush it.
Veronica gasped when his tongue ran over her clit and when he repeated the maneuver her subsequent moan had her grabbing his pillow and pulling it over her face to quiet herself. She didn’t care about his neighbors, she was just refusing to prove to him that he had the ability to do this to her.
Lamb wasn’t having it though and without relinquishing his task, he trailed one hand up from her hip and returned his attention to her breast. It served as just the right distraction because seconds later when he released her he managed to reach up and take the pillow from her before tossing it to the other side of the bed.
That time Veronica groaned in defeat. Her body was on fire, desperate for release, Lamb was still mostly holding her in place, in nearly complete control despite that one of her hands had at some point filled itself with his short hair to keep his mouth where she wanted it and now she couldn’t even conceal the sounds he was causing her to make.
“I want to hear you,” he stated, only taking his mouth from her for a moment.
Her first thought was that of course he did, there was victory in this for him. But was a bit of a relief too, almost up there with him liking her as is, moaning and all. With that she did the only thing she felt she could. She laid back and took his blissful torture.
It was when his lips closed around her clit and created just the right amount of suction that Veronica knew she wouldn’t last much longer.
Don had wanted to draw it out even longer, to really give her the full effect of a night with him, but his pants were way too damn tight and he would have to break contact with her anyway just to get them off. At least this way he could take care of her and then hope she would still be willing to take care of his own need.
Veronica sucked in another gasp when Lamb’s hand grasped one of her breasts again. The double team was officially too much for her entirely too turned on body. With a sharp shudder and long, low moan she came and she couldn’t help but be impressed that Lamb actually kept with her until her body had begun to calm.
Sitting up, he couldn’t help but admire his handiwork for a moment as he ran a hand down over his mouth and chin to wipe away the sticky remnants of her juices. Veronica Mars enjoying the afterglow from an orgasm he had given her. Yeah, his pants and boxers were gone in another moment.
“Where are you going?” she asked as he started walking towards the other side of the bed.
“You want to explain a potential mini-me to Keith?” he asked as held up a foil packet from his nightstand.
She almost laughed. No, she really didn’t. “So you still want me?” she quipped as, once sheathed, he lowered his impressive body to hers.
Aligning his almost painfully hard cock with her oh so warm and wet cunt, he asked, “What do you think?”
“That I want to hear you say it,” she smirked up at him as her arms encircled his shoulders.
He almost laughed, contemplating how she would react if he kissed her with his mouth still tasting like part of him hoped it always would. The memory of tonight was not one he was in a rush to lose anymore. His eyes on hers, he told her, “I want you, Veronica Mars. Just you.”
Her legs were around his hips faster than she could say, “Then take me, Sheriff.”
He slowly sank into her, at least part of him still wanting to savor this. He watched her face as he did, seeing her eyes fluttering closed and feeling her hips rise to meet his was almost enough to send him over the edge then. But unlike those he was willing to bet she was used to, he wasn’t a teenager and seeing how much she was enjoying this herself as he pulled back and thrust home once more was worth his every ounce of willpower.
It was Veronica to pull him into another passionate kiss and the taste of her on his mouth was actually more of a turn on than it probably should have been. The fact she could taste the proof that he had done what she had heard so many guys in her age group worked to get out of was definitely another plus for him.
She moaned out when he sped their pace and when his middle finger lowered to her clit, she couldn’t keep from arching up off his bed again. The things that man could do with his hands should be illegal, though with all of the other illegal things she had managed to get away with enjoying, she could handle this being added to the list. It definitely topped stealing medical records and bugging offices.
Barely being able to keep up with their kiss through his own sighs and groans as he continued to thrust in and out of her, Don dipped his head and kissed along her neck and jaw. And it was when his mouth continued down her chest again, having caught on earlier how sensitive her breasts clearly were, that he felt her muscles clamp hard around him.
It was a full triple attack when the hand that had been between them moved to tweak one nipple while his tongue teased its straining twin. Veronica couldn’t win. Of all the times she had been at his mercy she had only ever imagined it would be this way. Still, it instantly became her favorite as she came for the second time that night, thanks to the local sheriff.
She was quiet, but not silent and it was that look of indescribable bliss on her face that finally caused him to come undone.
It was Veronica’s turn to feel victorious when she heard him groan and felt his strokes slowing. She watched him as he came down from his orgasmic high before he all but collapsed on top of her. Despite his slightly less than comfortable weight atop her, she brought his mouth to hers for another kiss that while far lazier than those previous was no less enjoyable.
When he finally did roll off of her, out of her, Veronica couldn’t help a disappointed groan at the loss of contact.
Lamb caught it, of course, and smirked even as he stripped off the condom and tossed it into his wastebasket. “Don’t worry, Mars. I don’t plan on this being a one-time deal,” he told her before inviting her to rest closer to him.
“So you expect us to have more close calls and needing to be reminded that we’re still alive?” she asked as she laid a rather possessive arm around his waist and laid her head down on his chest.
He sighed. “Plan on it? No. But I am the sheriff and you do have a knack for getting yourself into some dangerous situations. Either way, I don’t plan on close calls being the reason for us having repeats of our more enjoyable moments from tonight.”
“Who knew? You would’ve really missed me if I died.”
Don brushed a lock of hair from her face and locked his blues onto hers. “And you came to me.”
“Guess we’re both full of surprises tonight,” she quipped nervously, her eyes pleading for what she dared not admit in words she wanted.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, Veronica,” he sighed, still trying to memorize every detail of her.
“And to think I didn’t even mean to this time.” This was getting weird again. She had to do something to fix it. Talking worked, she decided. “Speaking of our more enjoyable moments from tonight, you’d better not be hoping for nooners in your office.”
He laughed. “Aw, you don’t want Sacks to hear you moaning for me?”
Blue locked on blue again as she gave him The Veronica Stare.
Lamb only laughed harder even as he held her closer. “Okay, you win, I do like being the only one to know how you sound when you’re with me.”
“For the record, I’m glad I’m not dead.”
He nodded as he ran his fingertips along her arm. “For the record, I’m glad you came here. And not just for the obvious reason.”
She smiled up at him. It was amazing that he was really telling the truth and it only made her hold him tighter in response.
When he tilted her chin up to kiss her a moment later, Veronica knew why. Words were never going to express how thankful he was himself. There were alive, they were there, they where together. That was all that mattered.
The End