Fic: Seeing is Believing ~ PG-13
Title: Seeing is Believing
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Veronica hadn’t been humiliated enough on past cases. Now she was Santa’s helper at the Neptune mall to bring down some jewel thieves. As if that wasn’t enough, it was Lamb to find her there.
Spoilers: None
Characters/Pairings: Veronica/Lamb
Word Count: 2217
Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I’m simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: All that’s missing is the mistletoe.
A/N #2: And for those who want the visual - Bad Photoshop is bad, but I couldn't resist
~~
Veronica had worn many a disguise when attempting to bring down bad guys over the last few years.
Of course none had been quite as humiliating as this one.
Okay, it could have been a red and white bustier and skirt so short half of Neptune would have been left wondering if she was in need of a new gynecologist, but while it did leave a few things to the heated imaginations of the fathers in line who were openly staring at her she still wasn’t happy.
Between the red and white plush Santa hat she had to wear beneath the hot lights in what had to be the hottest point in the whole mall, the red velvet halter dress that fell to her mid-thigh, cinched at the waist by a Santa-like gold-buckled black belt and red and white thigh-high stockings she felt like a walking punch line. But of course her red and white ensemble wouldn’t be complete with what she could only think to refer to as fracking ruby slippers without the glitter.
Oh yeah, her own personal sadistic wizard would just love to see this.
Christmas was just under three weeks away and lately there had been a string of thefts at the jewelry stores within the mall. All just after closing, all on the weekends. One store at a time. Since there weren’t any job openings at the Java Hut anyway and any of the other stores in the mall wouldn’t have been close enough to this suspected Bad Santa she took the gig as his helper.
It was her second weekend as Candy Cane Cindy - so original given that she was the girl to give the “good boys and girls” their candy canes after they’d had their visit with Santa.
As usual she had wanted to get in, get the goods, and go. So far no such luck. Who ever the thieves were, they definitely worked in the mall, that much she knew. Beyond that, well, clearly the investigation was still on.
At first so far no one she knew had seen her. Her friends had long since stopped coming to sit on Santa’s lap and the only friend she had who knew about her current employment was Wallace and he had been kind, or terrified, enough to keep quiet about it. Well, aside from a few jokes about her costume at least.
Of course she should have known her luck wouldn’t hold out for much longer.
Little brother to the rescue, Lamb had agreed to take his nephew to see Santa while his brother and sister-in-law went Christmas shopping in the next town for the little guy.
It was a Saturday that he had off with nothing better to do, it worked out for all. Don realized just how well it would work out for him when he spotted the petite and blonde red and white clad “helper.”
“What’s so funny, Uncle Don?” the dark-haired seven-year-old asked.
“Nothin’, Andy,” he lied with a ruffle of the kid’s hair as he reached into his jeans pocket for his cell phone. This was too good. Veronica Mars was a Christmas mall elf. Be it to preserve the memory for himself or something he could use later for blackmail, he couldn’t resist snapping a few shots of her while she was still oblivious to his presence.
He could almost swear he was about to get a cavity from the fake, sugary sweetness of her wide smile with the children - especially when he knew just how naughty she was when Santa wasn’t watching. That was Christmas cheer only money could buy.
Money or inquisitiveness, he realized. Damn it. She knew about the burglaries. That had to be her real reason for being there… Now if only he could prove it and bust her. In the meantime he had to pretend to be just a regular guy taking his nephew to see Santa. Not the local sheriff who had a habit of arresting the same girl practically every other week.
It was another half an hour before he and Andy were at the front of the line and Veronica finally realized there was no escape from the mocking she was about to have to endure.
With her hands on her hips she managed to smile at him as though they had never met. She could only hope he would save comments until they were away from the crowd. Even back at the sheriff’s department would be better than there. Especially given that what she wanted to say to him was hardly family friendly.
“Who do we have here?” she beamed.
“Andy,” the boy smiled up at her, his eyes glittering as though she were really an elf of Santa’s.
“Hi, Andy, I’m Candy Cane Cindy. You want to go tell Santa what you want for Christmas?”
He nodded emphatically.
“Go on then, sport. I’ll wait here with the nice elf,” Don nodded, fighting to keep a straight face.
Andy didn’t have to be told twice as he bolted towards the big man in red.
“Breathe a word -” Veronica stated under her breath as she stepped closer to the obviously amused sheriff.
“Threatening an officer, Mars? Sure you want to do that when I have proof of this that could so easily be leaked? What do you say? Better than a couple hours in jail?” he grinned. He knew he had her. No way would she risk being arrested for hitting him nor would she want those pictures getting out.
Veronica took a steadying breath. So many fantasies of ringing his neck, so little time. “Lamb.”
“Aren’t you a little old to believe in Santa?”
“Look who’s talking,” she scoffed.
Don pointed to Andy on Santa’s lap. “Nephew. As for you, why do I get the feeling it has something to do with you sticking your nose into places it doesn’t belong?”
“Because you have the uncanny ability of always being wrong,” she grinned.
“Try again before I arrest you for interfering with a police investigation You’re really going to claim that you working here, with what’s happened over the last two weekends is just a coincidence?”
She sighed for dramatic effect. Only he would arrest her in front of so many kids and parents in the middle of the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon.
“It’s called work, Lamb. Not that you’d know what that is. But come the holidays some of us need a little extra cash to get our loved ones what they’ve earned over the year. The fact it’s Christmas and that the Java Hut was over staffed as it was that I have to thank for this being the gig I have now.”
He didn’t believe her, but even if he had proof he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his brother or sister-in-law if he arrested someone - even her - in front of his nephew.
“Tell me, is that one of those costumes you get to keep?”
“I can burn it if I choose,” she nodded.
“I’ll remember that,” he smirked at her.
“Look alive, Uncle Don,” Veronica shot back, choosing to ignore that as they watched the little boy hop down from Santa’s lap and run towards them.
“Hey! Did you tell Santa what you want?”
“Yep!” the dark-haired boy beamed.
“Ready to get out of here then?”
“Not so fast,” Veronica cheerily smiled as she bent down to him. “Good boys and girls get a treat after they see Santa. Here is yours,” she grinned as she handed him a fun-size candy cane.
“You don’t want a candy cane, Uncle Don?” Andy asked as he looked up at Lamb.
Looking back to Veronica, his trademark smirk firmly in place, he answered, “It’s okay, Andy. I’ll come back for mine later.”
At that moment it wasn’t the fact he was the sheriff that saved Lamb from Veronica’s wrath. It was the abundant pairs of young eyes and the fact she had yet to prove this Rent-a-Santa was really a Grinch.
Three days, six hours and forty-two minutes later, Veronica could finally call it case closed, take off that costume and rub it in Lamb’s face that she had once again been the one to solve what had been his case.
It was finally feeling like Christmas.
“Shouldn’t you be at the North Pole?” he asked as he turned to face her when she sauntered into his office that afternoon.
“Weekday, I’m off. Just thought you’d like to know I found out who the jewel thieves are. Your proof is here,” she stated as she handed him two USB flash drives. “And before you claim said proof was illegally obtained, the mall manager called my dad in as a consultant so we did have permission,” she grinned.
“So now you’re going to claim you’re my crime solving elf?” he sighed.
“Now you get to go pick the bad guys up. Y’know, since I did all the hard work for you. It was an insurance scam by the way. The managers of the jewelry stores all apparently got together and decided to rip off their insurance company, split the profits right down the middle. But sucks to be them because Veronica Mars: Super Detective was on the job, unlike certain sheriffs I could mention.”
“And yet I’m still the one you’ve come to to arrest them. What do you know? Sounds like you need me after all,” he grinned.
“I need ‘the sheriff’ for this, you just happen to be the one who stole the title.”
“I was elected by the fine people of Neptune.”
“Yeah. After -”
“Veronica. Do you want to stand there and waste more of my time or are you going to go so I can arrest these guys?”
“I expect those pictures you took of me in that costume to be long gone by now.”
“You mean the ones like this one?” he asked as he turned his computer monitor around to her, revealing he was using it for his desktop background.
Veronica had no idea why she was surprised.
“I like it, personally. It’s something festive, most certainly in the spirit of the holiday and far better than just keeping it on my phone.”
“And here I didn’t think you liked having me in your office. Or is it just different at being able to say you finally got me on your desk?”
He laughed as he held up his hands as if to surrender. “You said it, Mars. Not me. Really though, wear that outfit around here and I might change my mind.”
“You could always ask if you’d rather borrow it,” she smirked.
“I meant to ask you, what’s your favorite thing about a candy cane? Licking it? Sucking it? Or just playing with it?” he deadpanned.
“Biting it in half,” she nodded.
“Now how did I know you were going to say that?” he asked, not even phased by her comment.
“Because if there’s one person who would describe me as the kind of girl who’d bite a guy’s dick off it’s you.”
He almost laughed. She was right. And that still wasn’t enough to frighten him. “Careful, Mars, you might end up on Santa’s naughty list if you keep that language up.”
“And you expect to be put on the nice list?”
“I’ve been a good boy this year,” he beamed.
“Sexual fantasies involving Santa’s helper counts as nice? Wow… Y’know the naughty list isn’t sounding so bad now.”
“I guess it wouldn’t for a girl who’s been on it for how many years now?”
“Shouldn’t you be out arresting the jewel thieves instead of standing here talking to me about who’s been naughty or nice?”
“Yeah. I should. But since you seem to be enjoying my company -”
Veronica scoffed. “You could at least say thank you, you know? I did pretty much do your job for you. Again.”
“Consider my not arresting you as thanks enough.”
“You could at least say the words,” she told him as he walked her out of his office. “Don’t forget, I have an ‘in’ with the man in red. If you’re nice to me you just might get something more than a lump of coal come Christmas morning.”
“I’m betting I’ll get what I want anyway,” he stated just above a whisper as he moved close enough to nearly nuzzle into her neck.
“And what makes you think that?” she asked, fighting to ignore his proximity even as his body neared hers.
“A hunch,” he smirked as his cheek brushed hers, his hand coming up to brush her hair from her shoulder.
“Your hunch is wrong,” she sighed out, mentally refusing to give in to him. The rest of her however seemed frozen despite the fact he was barely touching her. Still she couldn’t will herself away from him. Already she knew she wouldn’t win this fight. She always was her greatest opponent.
***
Epilogue:
By Christmas morning, Lamb had also managed, even if not in words, to get his answer as to Veronica’s favorite thing about a candy cane. He always knew that mouth of hers had to be good for something better than snarking with him.
Yes. Christmas had truly arrived in Neptune.
The End
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Veronica hadn’t been humiliated enough on past cases. Now she was Santa’s helper at the Neptune mall to bring down some jewel thieves. As if that wasn’t enough, it was Lamb to find her there.
Spoilers: None
Characters/Pairings: Veronica/Lamb
Word Count: 2217
Disclaimer: Veronica Mars is not owned by me, but by Rob Thomas. I’m simply borrowing these characters for non-profit entertainment.
A/N: All that’s missing is the mistletoe.
A/N #2: And for those who want the visual - Bad Photoshop is bad, but I couldn't resist
~~
Veronica had worn many a disguise when attempting to bring down bad guys over the last few years.
Of course none had been quite as humiliating as this one.
Okay, it could have been a red and white bustier and skirt so short half of Neptune would have been left wondering if she was in need of a new gynecologist, but while it did leave a few things to the heated imaginations of the fathers in line who were openly staring at her she still wasn’t happy.
Between the red and white plush Santa hat she had to wear beneath the hot lights in what had to be the hottest point in the whole mall, the red velvet halter dress that fell to her mid-thigh, cinched at the waist by a Santa-like gold-buckled black belt and red and white thigh-high stockings she felt like a walking punch line. But of course her red and white ensemble wouldn’t be complete with what she could only think to refer to as fracking ruby slippers without the glitter.
Oh yeah, her own personal sadistic wizard would just love to see this.
Christmas was just under three weeks away and lately there had been a string of thefts at the jewelry stores within the mall. All just after closing, all on the weekends. One store at a time. Since there weren’t any job openings at the Java Hut anyway and any of the other stores in the mall wouldn’t have been close enough to this suspected Bad Santa she took the gig as his helper.
It was her second weekend as Candy Cane Cindy - so original given that she was the girl to give the “good boys and girls” their candy canes after they’d had their visit with Santa.
As usual she had wanted to get in, get the goods, and go. So far no such luck. Who ever the thieves were, they definitely worked in the mall, that much she knew. Beyond that, well, clearly the investigation was still on.
At first so far no one she knew had seen her. Her friends had long since stopped coming to sit on Santa’s lap and the only friend she had who knew about her current employment was Wallace and he had been kind, or terrified, enough to keep quiet about it. Well, aside from a few jokes about her costume at least.
Of course she should have known her luck wouldn’t hold out for much longer.
Little brother to the rescue, Lamb had agreed to take his nephew to see Santa while his brother and sister-in-law went Christmas shopping in the next town for the little guy.
It was a Saturday that he had off with nothing better to do, it worked out for all. Don realized just how well it would work out for him when he spotted the petite and blonde red and white clad “helper.”
“What’s so funny, Uncle Don?” the dark-haired seven-year-old asked.
“Nothin’, Andy,” he lied with a ruffle of the kid’s hair as he reached into his jeans pocket for his cell phone. This was too good. Veronica Mars was a Christmas mall elf. Be it to preserve the memory for himself or something he could use later for blackmail, he couldn’t resist snapping a few shots of her while she was still oblivious to his presence.
He could almost swear he was about to get a cavity from the fake, sugary sweetness of her wide smile with the children - especially when he knew just how naughty she was when Santa wasn’t watching. That was Christmas cheer only money could buy.
Money or inquisitiveness, he realized. Damn it. She knew about the burglaries. That had to be her real reason for being there… Now if only he could prove it and bust her. In the meantime he had to pretend to be just a regular guy taking his nephew to see Santa. Not the local sheriff who had a habit of arresting the same girl practically every other week.
It was another half an hour before he and Andy were at the front of the line and Veronica finally realized there was no escape from the mocking she was about to have to endure.
With her hands on her hips she managed to smile at him as though they had never met. She could only hope he would save comments until they were away from the crowd. Even back at the sheriff’s department would be better than there. Especially given that what she wanted to say to him was hardly family friendly.
“Who do we have here?” she beamed.
“Andy,” the boy smiled up at her, his eyes glittering as though she were really an elf of Santa’s.
“Hi, Andy, I’m Candy Cane Cindy. You want to go tell Santa what you want for Christmas?”
He nodded emphatically.
“Go on then, sport. I’ll wait here with the nice elf,” Don nodded, fighting to keep a straight face.
Andy didn’t have to be told twice as he bolted towards the big man in red.
“Breathe a word -” Veronica stated under her breath as she stepped closer to the obviously amused sheriff.
“Threatening an officer, Mars? Sure you want to do that when I have proof of this that could so easily be leaked? What do you say? Better than a couple hours in jail?” he grinned. He knew he had her. No way would she risk being arrested for hitting him nor would she want those pictures getting out.
Veronica took a steadying breath. So many fantasies of ringing his neck, so little time. “Lamb.”
“Aren’t you a little old to believe in Santa?”
“Look who’s talking,” she scoffed.
Don pointed to Andy on Santa’s lap. “Nephew. As for you, why do I get the feeling it has something to do with you sticking your nose into places it doesn’t belong?”
“Because you have the uncanny ability of always being wrong,” she grinned.
“Try again before I arrest you for interfering with a police investigation You’re really going to claim that you working here, with what’s happened over the last two weekends is just a coincidence?”
She sighed for dramatic effect. Only he would arrest her in front of so many kids and parents in the middle of the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon.
“It’s called work, Lamb. Not that you’d know what that is. But come the holidays some of us need a little extra cash to get our loved ones what they’ve earned over the year. The fact it’s Christmas and that the Java Hut was over staffed as it was that I have to thank for this being the gig I have now.”
He didn’t believe her, but even if he had proof he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his brother or sister-in-law if he arrested someone - even her - in front of his nephew.
“Tell me, is that one of those costumes you get to keep?”
“I can burn it if I choose,” she nodded.
“I’ll remember that,” he smirked at her.
“Look alive, Uncle Don,” Veronica shot back, choosing to ignore that as they watched the little boy hop down from Santa’s lap and run towards them.
“Hey! Did you tell Santa what you want?”
“Yep!” the dark-haired boy beamed.
“Ready to get out of here then?”
“Not so fast,” Veronica cheerily smiled as she bent down to him. “Good boys and girls get a treat after they see Santa. Here is yours,” she grinned as she handed him a fun-size candy cane.
“You don’t want a candy cane, Uncle Don?” Andy asked as he looked up at Lamb.
Looking back to Veronica, his trademark smirk firmly in place, he answered, “It’s okay, Andy. I’ll come back for mine later.”
At that moment it wasn’t the fact he was the sheriff that saved Lamb from Veronica’s wrath. It was the abundant pairs of young eyes and the fact she had yet to prove this Rent-a-Santa was really a Grinch.
Three days, six hours and forty-two minutes later, Veronica could finally call it case closed, take off that costume and rub it in Lamb’s face that she had once again been the one to solve what had been his case.
It was finally feeling like Christmas.
“Shouldn’t you be at the North Pole?” he asked as he turned to face her when she sauntered into his office that afternoon.
“Weekday, I’m off. Just thought you’d like to know I found out who the jewel thieves are. Your proof is here,” she stated as she handed him two USB flash drives. “And before you claim said proof was illegally obtained, the mall manager called my dad in as a consultant so we did have permission,” she grinned.
“So now you’re going to claim you’re my crime solving elf?” he sighed.
“Now you get to go pick the bad guys up. Y’know, since I did all the hard work for you. It was an insurance scam by the way. The managers of the jewelry stores all apparently got together and decided to rip off their insurance company, split the profits right down the middle. But sucks to be them because Veronica Mars: Super Detective was on the job, unlike certain sheriffs I could mention.”
“And yet I’m still the one you’ve come to to arrest them. What do you know? Sounds like you need me after all,” he grinned.
“I need ‘the sheriff’ for this, you just happen to be the one who stole the title.”
“I was elected by the fine people of Neptune.”
“Yeah. After -”
“Veronica. Do you want to stand there and waste more of my time or are you going to go so I can arrest these guys?”
“I expect those pictures you took of me in that costume to be long gone by now.”
“You mean the ones like this one?” he asked as he turned his computer monitor around to her, revealing he was using it for his desktop background.
Veronica had no idea why she was surprised.
“I like it, personally. It’s something festive, most certainly in the spirit of the holiday and far better than just keeping it on my phone.”
“And here I didn’t think you liked having me in your office. Or is it just different at being able to say you finally got me on your desk?”
He laughed as he held up his hands as if to surrender. “You said it, Mars. Not me. Really though, wear that outfit around here and I might change my mind.”
“You could always ask if you’d rather borrow it,” she smirked.
“I meant to ask you, what’s your favorite thing about a candy cane? Licking it? Sucking it? Or just playing with it?” he deadpanned.
“Biting it in half,” she nodded.
“Now how did I know you were going to say that?” he asked, not even phased by her comment.
“Because if there’s one person who would describe me as the kind of girl who’d bite a guy’s dick off it’s you.”
He almost laughed. She was right. And that still wasn’t enough to frighten him. “Careful, Mars, you might end up on Santa’s naughty list if you keep that language up.”
“And you expect to be put on the nice list?”
“I’ve been a good boy this year,” he beamed.
“Sexual fantasies involving Santa’s helper counts as nice? Wow… Y’know the naughty list isn’t sounding so bad now.”
“I guess it wouldn’t for a girl who’s been on it for how many years now?”
“Shouldn’t you be out arresting the jewel thieves instead of standing here talking to me about who’s been naughty or nice?”
“Yeah. I should. But since you seem to be enjoying my company -”
Veronica scoffed. “You could at least say thank you, you know? I did pretty much do your job for you. Again.”
“Consider my not arresting you as thanks enough.”
“You could at least say the words,” she told him as he walked her out of his office. “Don’t forget, I have an ‘in’ with the man in red. If you’re nice to me you just might get something more than a lump of coal come Christmas morning.”
“I’m betting I’ll get what I want anyway,” he stated just above a whisper as he moved close enough to nearly nuzzle into her neck.
“And what makes you think that?” she asked, fighting to ignore his proximity even as his body neared hers.
“A hunch,” he smirked as his cheek brushed hers, his hand coming up to brush her hair from her shoulder.
“Your hunch is wrong,” she sighed out, mentally refusing to give in to him. The rest of her however seemed frozen despite the fact he was barely touching her. Still she couldn’t will herself away from him. Already she knew she wouldn’t win this fight. She always was her greatest opponent.
***
Epilogue:
By Christmas morning, Lamb had also managed, even if not in words, to get his answer as to Veronica’s favorite thing about a candy cane. He always knew that mouth of hers had to be good for something better than snarking with him.
Yes. Christmas had truly arrived in Neptune.
The End