Comments | vermilioncream: The first time

vermilioncream

The first time

Feb 07, 2013 14:45

Summary: After being haunted by wet dreams of a certain black haired teme, Naruto is starting to realize he might be attracted to Sasuke. What will happen when you add alcohol into the mix? One-shot. Complete.
Author’s note: Hello everybody. This is set about 4 years after the battle at the Valley of the End. After the battle Naruto managed to take ( Read more... )

Comments 12

darkmaya666 February 7 2013, 20:15:31 UTC

Really it's your first fanfic? Even without knowing it, I think it was really enjoyable to read. I liked the chemistry between them and the lemon was damn hot! I hope you write a sequel or maybe even more SasuNaru stories, although I hope they will be longer, because it was a bit too short, but it's understandable, when it's your first fanfic. Good job ;) ( you don't plan to put it on ff.net? )

vermilioncream February 7 2013, 20:32:43 UTC

Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm really happy that you liked my story. I already have some ideas for a sequel. I will try to write some longer stories in the future, but right now even a story this short sucks the life out of me to write :))
I also posted the story on fanfiction.net :)
Thank you again for your support!

hanadj February 7 2013, 20:18:26 UTC

I like it! Well done!
Hope to read something more from you ^_^

vermilioncream February 7 2013, 20:33:55 UTC

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I will try to update soon :)

cynaga February 9 2013, 01:55:32 UTC

very nice! so intense...

vermilioncream February 9 2013, 11:20:38 UTC

thank you, i'm happy you liked it XD

supercute90 February 10 2013, 05:58:33 UTC

Waaoh that was amazing didnt knew it was ur first time writing it

vermilioncream February 10 2013, 10:32:42 UTC

thank you for reading and leaving a comment. i'm glad you enjoyed my story XD

aquarian_days March 5 2013, 10:58:19 UTC

Very sexy fic. I how the story took you through the process of Naruto's sexual self-discovery (the moment he first became attracted to Sasuke, his denial, his acceptance of his feelings, and finally his ability to act on those feelings), but without anything feeling rushed or forced. Great job on your first fic. :)

A couple tiny typos:

“Well I’m sorry I’m not dating a girl [LIKE] Ino, Shika.”

"I could feel his [HEAT] emanating from under his shinobi uniform."

vermilioncream March 5 2013, 21:32:51 UTC

Thank you for the notes on my mistakes - they are always very much appreciated, because they help me improve :D
I'm glad that you liked the way I constructed the story line.
Thank you for your review because this way I know what is noticed and appreciated in my writing.