When All Is Crumbling, I Will Steady Your Hand
Ring
When they first mention Robb getting betrothed, Jon imagines those hands on him, a ring on the left hand, cold metal running over his skin and it makes him shake with a possessiveness he’s never felt before.
Hero
Robb has always thought of Jon as a hero, one who never complained about his lot in life, who smiled sad eyes at Robb whenever someone mentioned his parentage, it made Robb vow to never do that anyone, to never let anyone feel the pain Jon felt.
Memory
When he’s alone, on the Wall, looking out over onto the wilderness beyond, Jon remembers Robb’s touch, the way his hands would shake and how his breath would be hot on Jon’s neck, and it would keep him warm against the biting wind from the North.
Box
The small box fell from his saddle bag, clattered to the floor as he pulled out his meagre belongings, Robb’s hand so clear on the lid, even though it was scratched in with a knife Jon could still tell it was his, the small carved direwolf spilled onto his palm and Jon clutched at it, almost feeling Robb through the warm wood.
Run
He’d never felt the need to do anything more in his entire life, but now he needed to run, run to Robb, to feel him in his arms once more, to stand by his side and fight, because that’s where Jon had always belonged.
Hurricane
There was a storm brewing over the Wall, flurries of snow twirled in the courtyard as Jon’s hands curled around the hilt of his sword, Ghost growling softly beside him, it wasn’t just a storm that was brewing though, there was something else and Jon felt the nerves skitter up his spine.
Wings
“I wish we were like them,” Jon said, his hand clasped in Robb’s, Robb squeezed back as he looked up at the ravens, “just you and me flying through the clouds.”
Cold
Robb had never been so cold in his life, a bone deep chill settling in the second he let go of Jon, the second he felt Jon slip through his fingers and it only got worse as he watched Jon ride off over the horizon, Robb shivered and wrapped his cloak tighter around him, wishing Jon was here to mock him about being soft.
Red
Robb had decided red didn’t suit Jon the first time he saw him bleed, his lip broken from a fight with some boy that dared call him a bastard, and Jon had stared at Robb, blood trickling down his chin, as Robb reached out and wiped it away with his thumb, “Stark blood,” he said and Jon’s eyes had smiled.
Drink
He could smell the wine of Robb’s breath as he pushed him behind the stables, his hands already working their way under layers of heavy clothing, and Jon didn’t know if it was that or Robb’s kisses that made him feel dizzy.
Midnight
It was the time he loved best, the time when the whole household was asleep and Robb would creep down the hall to Jon’s room, light on his feet as always, and they would lie together, wrapped around each other, watching the moon through Jon’s tiny window.
Temptation
Robb had always got what he wanted and he was used to it, but Jon was a temptation that he wasn’t allowed and no amount of wanting would ever change that.
View
The view from the top of Winterfell was breathtaking, on a clear day Jon would swear he could see the Wall looming in the far off distance, Robb would laugh, brush shoulders with him, and kiss all thoughts of the Wall from his mind.
Music
Jon could hear the music from the hall as he lifted his sword and attacked the block, anger running through his veins at Lady Stark for banishing him from the feast, that was until Robb found him, his hands warm against Jon’s chilled but flushed skin, “I’m sorry” whispered against his mouth like it was Robb’s fault, when they both knew it wasn’t.
Silk
Not that he's ever felt it, Jon Snow, bastard, isn't high enough to feel that kind of luxury, but Robb's skin feels like the grandest silk from King's Landing, or so he would imagine, smooth under his fingers as he runs them across Robb's shoulders, down his spine, the backs of his thighs, and Jon would think he didn't care if he's never felt silk, Robb's skin was much better anyway.
Cover
His covers aren’t as grand as Robb, slightly scratchy when Robb’s are soft under his hands, but Jon doesn’t care, his favourite cover is Robb’s body anyway, slick, hot skin against his under the cover of darkness.
Promise
“You come back to me, you promise,” Robb’s fevered kisses on the last night had said and Jon couldn’t promise, he could only return the kisses, memorise the way Robb felt as they both shuddered their release together, he could only promise to never forget.
Dream
It feels like a dream sometimes, like a waking dream, when Robb kisses him, hands clasped around his face, stealing kisses when no one’s looking, and Jon hopes that he never wakes up.
Candle
Robb always leaves a candle burning so Jon can see the light spilling under his door into the hallway, but the argument about Jon leaving is still fresh and Jon can’t see the candle light dancing on the wood tonight.
Talent
Robb fought with words where Jon fought with fists, and Jon wished he was more like Robb, wish he had the talent to make anyone smile the way Robb could.
Silence
Jon wasn’t particularly good with words, he never felt the need to use them when the most important person got what he was trying to say with just his eyes, he enjoyed the silence between them when it came, the easy silence as they sat next to each other, touching from shoulder to thigh.
Journey
Sometimes it felt like an adventure, a journey worth taking, like he was born to do this, other times, when Robb would cling to him in the dark, it felt like a death sentence and Jon wondered why he had ever thought of leaving in the first place.
Fire
It felt like fire when Jon touched him, hands ghosting over his skin, kisses peppered along his jaw, and Robb welcomed the burn, the heat from Jon’s fingers branding his skin as they ran down his spine.
Strength
It took every ounce of strength he’s ever possessed to let Jon go, to loosen his hold on him and to talk away without looking back, even though he can feel Jon’s eyes on the back of his neck, his gaze heavy, he can’t look back, can’t see Jon’s face because he knows he’ll give up and beg him to stay.
Mask
Jon loved the mask Robb wore in public sometimes, loved the way his fingers would curl against his palms and his jaw would twitch when he looked at Jon, like he couldn’t help himself, and Jon would know his kisses would taste like desperation when they finally got to be alone.
Ice
Jon’s fingers felt like ice against his skin, pressing into his hips as he whispered “sorry” and “I love you” against Robb’s lips, his hands shook and Robb knew it wasn’t just from the cold, it was the knowledge that they would never have this again.
Fall
The first time Robb kissed him, pushed him up against the side of the stables and pressed his mouth to his, Jon felt like he was falling, like he had stepped off the top of Winterfell, his stomach bottoming out as Robb’s lips covered his own.
Forgotten
It was easy to forget things on the Wall, to forget Arya’s smile and the sound of Bran’s laugh, the scowl on Lady Stark’s face whenever she looked at him, but it was impossible to forget the way Robb’s hands felt on him, the way they pushed under his furs and ran over his skin.
Dance
He was 15 the first time he saw Robb dance with a girl, his eye pressed up to a hole in the wall watching through it as the party carried on, once again banished from polite company, and Robb’s arms were wrapped around the girls waist and Jon felt his fingernails bite into the wood.
Body
When Jon first talked about leaving for the Wall, lying tangled up in each other, sweat soaked skin on sweat soaked skin, Robb had felt his body go cold, his hands wrap around Jon’s arms, as if that would stop him leaving, would stop him from leaving Robb.
Sacred
It strikes him as odd, that out of all the places they played as children, the Gods Wood would be the first place they touch each other with anything other than brotherly affection, Robb finally making the move to reach his hand out and run it over Jon’s cheek and Jon sighs quietly, his breath leaving his body almost silently like he’s afraid to wake the Gods and Robb can’t help but move closer and run his lips over Jon’s cheekbone.
Farewells
Jon has never been good at goodbyes, hates the sick feeling he always gets in his stomach no matter how long he’s saying it for, and he can’t shake the feeling that this is forever when Robb finally catches up to him, with hurt in his eyes, and pulls him close, can’t shake the feeling that this is the last time he’s going to feel Robb’s breath against his cheek, and he’s closes his eyes and holds on tight.
World
When they were small, the world was huge, just them against it like two brave knights, fighting to save maidens from dragons and white walkers, now they’re grown, the world is bigger, and Jon is leaving to go across it and Robb wants to hide again, pull Jon into their favourite hiding place and stay quiet, till everyone forgets them and it will just be them again, against the world.
Formal
Jon remembers once when Theon nearly caught them, Robb’s hands working their way into Jon’s breeches, Jon’s skin flushed and lips swollen and Theon had burst in, tripped over Ghost before he had seen them and Robb had wrenched his hand out and was so upright and formal that it had made Jon laugh.
Fever
Sansa had muttered things about Dragons living in Jon’s belly and Robb couldn’t help but think it might be true as he ran the damp cloth over his brother’s forehead, his skin on fire as it touches Robb’s, and Robb knows that he wont be leaving his side until the last Dragon has been slain.
Laugh
Jon doesn’t laugh enough, his face always serious, but Robb loves it when he does, his eyes wrinkling and the sound coming from his mouth it better than the best ballad to Robb.
Lies
He knows he has to, his life, Robb’s life, depends on it, but he still hates the way the lie tastes in his mouth when he covers for Robb, says he doesn’t know where he is even though he left him just minutes before, stealing out of Robb’s room with the ghost of Robb’s touch on his skin.
Forever
Forever is a long time when you are seven and your brother slices down your palm with a dirty blade he managed to swipe from the kitchen, does the same on his own and presses them together, “brothers forever, no matter what,” Robb says and Jon wonders how long forever will be.
Overwhelmed
It’s not often Robb lets Jon win, Jon is better with a sword but Robb has always had the upper hand with strength when it comes to close combat, but he’s letting him win now, if only so he can let Jon pin him to the floor and kiss him breathless, pressing them to his cheeks, his lips, his neck, laughing all the while in the way that makes Robb feel completely overwhelmed.
Whisper
When Robb first taught Jon ho w to shoot, the upbringing of Jon pretty much left to him, he stood behind Jon and held his arms in the right way, whispering pointers in his ear, he still does it now, only his hands wander and the pointers have become promises of what they’ll do when the household has gone to bed.
Wait
The first time after Jon kissed Robb, the wait after the lights had been put out, was the first worst, his hands sweating, his legs trembling as he paced his small room and waited, but then the door had creaked open and Robb’s face appeared and Jon forgot about trembling legs and sweaty hands and finally breathed.
Talk
They don’t talk much, both preferring the easy silence they have come to know between them, words unnecessary, but when they do, its under the cover of darkness, limbs tangled together, words hushed as they make promises they know neither of them will ever keep.
Search
Robb never has to search for Jon, he always knows where he goes when his mother has been particularly cruel, or Theon has joked one too many times, or some nameless person has spoken the bastard word in his ear shot, Robb knows, and Robb finds him, kisses the spot between his ear and neck and mutters “sorry” into his skin.
Hope
In one of his more childish moments, Jon had hoped Robb would come with him, packed up his life, his duty, his birthright and come to the Wall with him to fight by his side.
Eclipse
Jon mentioning he was thinking about taking the black had seemed to cast a shadow over Robb that followed him wherever he went, Jon hated that he’d taken the smile from his eyes, hate the fact that Robb was avoiding him, it almost felt like Winter was on its way when Robb didn’t smile at him.
Gravity
“I don’t think you are understanding the gravity of the situation Snow, there is a whole arsenal of archers behind that hill,” Robb’s voice is hot in his ear and Jon can’t bring himself to care, not when Robb has turned their training session from serious to playful to downright wicked in the space of five minutes, and especially not when he has his hand down Jon’s breeches.
Highway
The road seems to stretch out for miles in front of him, and Jon can still feel Robb’s arms around him, the way Robb had squeezed just that little bit too tight, as if he was afraid to let go, Jon sighs, closes his eyes and thinks of Robb and the road seems to get longer and harder.
Unknown
”This can’t last forever, you know that,” Jon says one night, Robb’s fingers idly tracing protective wards of the old Gods onto his back still and Jon can feel his whole body tense, “someone will find out, they’ll stop us, they’ll,” Robb stops his words with kisses, holds him close and marks him in places no one will ever see.
Lock
The lock on the stable doors creaks when Robb turns the key and Jon flinches at the sound, breathes in the scent of hay and horses and Robb, the silence between them is heavy as Robb stalks towards him, pushes him into one of the stalls, pulls him down to the hay and shows him just who he belongs to, as if he would ever forget.
Breathe
There is a certain raspy quality to Jon’s breathing when Robb presses his thumb under his chin to tip his head back and look down in his eyes, a sound that has Robb’s knees going weak and his hands shaking as Jon swallows against his grip, his pupils going wider and darker and Robb can’t help but kiss him when he hears that noise.