Mr. Nothing [6/11]
Author: 暗
Beta: 軽
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, angst, AU
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: SakurAiba; OhMiya [hinted]
Disclaimer: we don't own them as much as we wish for it, they are people and slavery is illegal and all of that. And of course... this is not real.
Summary: He stopped questioning what was he doing with his life. He had lost himself a long ago. Misused, misunderstood. He didn’t know what he had done with himself nor wanted to know. Fuck, being fucked, boys, girls… it didn’t matter to him. This was his life; this had been his life for a long time. A life directed to self-destruction since the moment he lost himself. Self-injury, alcohol, sex with strangers, self-hate… he didn’t care anymore, he was empty, he was Mr. Nothing. But for Sakurai Sho, he would become Mr. Everything.
___________________________
Sho’s life had stayed the same even after that day. He forgot the fact he had a family, and kept working at day and going out at night at every chance, which would be considered too often by some people. But still, he was young, and in Sho’s mind it was the time for doing that. What was more, it was what he had to do at that time.
It had been more than two weeks, and no matter where they’d go, he hadn’t seen Aiba ever again after that moment. And a bunch of weird ideas about what may have happened to the guy were crossing around his mind, but he didn’t even know how he could find him. Now he had a name, but that’s all he got, nothing else.
He had even asked Jun if he or any of his contacts knew about him, and after some warnings, Jun told him that people had seen him around. Sho couldn’t avoid thinking the other was specifically avoiding him. Still, he wasn’t going to allow that fact to affect his life.
It was another Wednesday, half of the week, and the time of the week he’d start to get pissed of going to work and not being able to go partying, so he was decided to have his job done soon and leave as soon as it’d be possible. Maybe a walk around would let him change his bad mood and calm a little his mind, so as soon as he was done with all he had to do for the day, he notified his boss and left the office like a soul carried by the devil.
As he got out of the building, he took off the tie and started to walk aimlessly, with no direction at all. He just wanted to free his mind and stop thinking about that guy and what may he be doing to himself during the time he hadn’t seen him. But for any reason he ended up thinking more about him during the walk, not getting why he was worrying that much about somebody he didn’t really know. In the middle of the walk, he found himself in a park, not really knowing how he had ended up there when what he needed was to go to a bar or go home and get some drinks.
He was about to turn back and leave the park when something called his attention, there, almost in front of him was somebody sitting surrounded by dogs and playing with them, and it didn’t take long till Sho recognized who it was.
He couldn’t stop looking at him as he got closer, his curiosity winning over the rational part of his mind that was telling him to leave him alone before he’d reject him again. The other didn’t even noticed when he got right behind of him, and Sho started to wonder what could be in the other’s mind to be that absorbed.
“I was starting to think you were dead… but guess probably you were avoiding me”
Sho could see the other flinch, surprised by his sudden presence, but immediately got his cool face back and nodded as a greeting.
“Sakurai”
Sho was kinda happy that the other hadn’t tell him to get lost as normally, so he got closer and tried to talk to him, wondering if he’d get any information.
“So, what have been of your life?”
“Why do you wanna know?”
Well, he just wanted to know. He’d been thinking about this guy all this time not knowing why and at least wanted some confirmation that he was as fine as he could be. During all this days he’d feared the other would have killed himself or something.
“Just curiosity”
“Well, if this satisfies your curiosity, yes, I was avoiding you”
So that really was why he hadn’t seen him, Sho wondered how he managed to do it. It wasn’t as if he had a usual place to go and normally they’d meet quite often.
“Why is that? Because I know yo---“
But he couldn’t even finish his line before the other interrupted him.
“Because I can’t do what I always do when you’re around. And now sorry, but I have to return the dogs”
And again, he left before Sho could react and say anything, all the dogs followed him as he started walking. Just, what had he meant with that? Why his presence would stop him from doing anything? It hadn’t mattered before, right?
But well, at least now he knew something else, even if he didn’t really understand it. But he still wanted to know more, he wanted to know all, but as he made up his mind about following the other, there was no trace of him again.
“Just how does he do it?”
The next day, Sho woke up with a clear plan: he’d go to work, finish it soon and go to the park to try to catch Aiba again. The previous day he had got a lot of words from the other considering all that he’d normally get. So maybe he’d be able to get more information that day.
So, as planned, he was leaving the office early and went fast to the park. He checked around the whole place but he wasn’t there. Well, was he really thinking he’d see him? What were the possibilities? Considering the other was avoiding him, maybe he’d avoid that place also so he wouldn’t meet him. “Your brain must be dying Sho, if you thought it would work”
He went to the place where he had seen him the previous day and sat in the grass, he was feeling like an idiot and he didn’t want to go home yet because maybe he’d…
“What’s wrong with you lately?” Sho started to mutter to himself while messing up his hair when he heard a voice behind him.
“What are you doing here?”
Sho looked up surprised, and he suddenly realized that even when he had come there with the intention of meeting him, he had zero plans of what he’d tell him.
“Waiting for you.”
Sho could see in Aiba’s face that he was debating between leaving or not, so he decided to bring any topic to make the other stay at least a little longer. He looked around to the dogs that were now running freely around and then back to Aiba, who was still standing in a safe distance.
“So, are all these dogs yours?”
Aiba didn’t move from his place, but at least he wasn’t leaving.
“No, I just take care of them”
“I see, I was starting to think what place you should live at, if you have that many dogs…”
And then Sho saw what looked impossible, the other let out something similar to a giggle before sitting down and Sho realized how good it would look an smile on that face. Without thinking, he got closer to him so they could talk more.
“So, do you like dogs?”
For some reason, that was the only topic that came to Sho’s mind. No “what about the cuts?” or “are you ok? You need help?” just questions about dogs. Well done Sakurai, you get better with words day by day…
“I do. Animals are not like people… I can trust them”
Then, suddenly Sho found himself wanting desperately for the other to trust him. The worst scenarios crossing through his mind about what had pushed him to be like that, but still, he had the feeling nothing he could imagine could be as bad as what the other had come through.
“Even if you won’t believe me… you can trust me.”
Sho didn’t know what else he could say; he just wanted to erase that empty look from the other’s eyes. But after a long silence when none of them said nothing, he decided to take out a risky theme again, even knowing the other may get up and leave as usual, he had to ask, he needed to know…
“Aiba-san, why do you do that to yourself?”
_________________________
A/N: So, yesterday's chapter was painfully short! So here goes the next! I really hope you're enjoying this series. Aiba really has a lot there, huh? And thanks for your comments <3
Beta: 軽
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, angst, AU
Rating: PG - 13
Pairing: SakurAiba; OhMiya [hinted]
Disclaimer: we don't own them as much as we wish for it, they are people and slavery is illegal and all of that. And of course... this is not real.
Summary: He stopped questioning what was he doing with his life. He had lost himself a long ago. Misused, misunderstood. He didn’t know what he had done with himself nor wanted to know. Fuck, being fucked, boys, girls… it didn’t matter to him. This was his life; this had been his life for a long time. A life directed to self-destruction since the moment he lost himself. Self-injury, alcohol, sex with strangers, self-hate… he didn’t care anymore, he was empty, he was Mr. Nothing. But for Sakurai Sho, he would become Mr. Everything.
___________________________
Sho’s life had stayed the same even after that day. He forgot the fact he had a family, and kept working at day and going out at night at every chance, which would be considered too often by some people. But still, he was young, and in Sho’s mind it was the time for doing that. What was more, it was what he had to do at that time.
It had been more than two weeks, and no matter where they’d go, he hadn’t seen Aiba ever again after that moment. And a bunch of weird ideas about what may have happened to the guy were crossing around his mind, but he didn’t even know how he could find him. Now he had a name, but that’s all he got, nothing else.
He had even asked Jun if he or any of his contacts knew about him, and after some warnings, Jun told him that people had seen him around. Sho couldn’t avoid thinking the other was specifically avoiding him. Still, he wasn’t going to allow that fact to affect his life.
It was another Wednesday, half of the week, and the time of the week he’d start to get pissed of going to work and not being able to go partying, so he was decided to have his job done soon and leave as soon as it’d be possible. Maybe a walk around would let him change his bad mood and calm a little his mind, so as soon as he was done with all he had to do for the day, he notified his boss and left the office like a soul carried by the devil.
As he got out of the building, he took off the tie and started to walk aimlessly, with no direction at all. He just wanted to free his mind and stop thinking about that guy and what may he be doing to himself during the time he hadn’t seen him. But for any reason he ended up thinking more about him during the walk, not getting why he was worrying that much about somebody he didn’t really know. In the middle of the walk, he found himself in a park, not really knowing how he had ended up there when what he needed was to go to a bar or go home and get some drinks.
He was about to turn back and leave the park when something called his attention, there, almost in front of him was somebody sitting surrounded by dogs and playing with them, and it didn’t take long till Sho recognized who it was.
He couldn’t stop looking at him as he got closer, his curiosity winning over the rational part of his mind that was telling him to leave him alone before he’d reject him again. The other didn’t even noticed when he got right behind of him, and Sho started to wonder what could be in the other’s mind to be that absorbed.
“I was starting to think you were dead… but guess probably you were avoiding me”
Sho could see the other flinch, surprised by his sudden presence, but immediately got his cool face back and nodded as a greeting.
“Sakurai”
Sho was kinda happy that the other hadn’t tell him to get lost as normally, so he got closer and tried to talk to him, wondering if he’d get any information.
“So, what have been of your life?”
“Why do you wanna know?”
Well, he just wanted to know. He’d been thinking about this guy all this time not knowing why and at least wanted some confirmation that he was as fine as he could be. During all this days he’d feared the other would have killed himself or something.
“Just curiosity”
“Well, if this satisfies your curiosity, yes, I was avoiding you”
So that really was why he hadn’t seen him, Sho wondered how he managed to do it. It wasn’t as if he had a usual place to go and normally they’d meet quite often.
“Why is that? Because I know yo---“
But he couldn’t even finish his line before the other interrupted him.
“Because I can’t do what I always do when you’re around. And now sorry, but I have to return the dogs”
And again, he left before Sho could react and say anything, all the dogs followed him as he started walking. Just, what had he meant with that? Why his presence would stop him from doing anything? It hadn’t mattered before, right?
But well, at least now he knew something else, even if he didn’t really understand it. But he still wanted to know more, he wanted to know all, but as he made up his mind about following the other, there was no trace of him again.
“Just how does he do it?”
The next day, Sho woke up with a clear plan: he’d go to work, finish it soon and go to the park to try to catch Aiba again. The previous day he had got a lot of words from the other considering all that he’d normally get. So maybe he’d be able to get more information that day.
So, as planned, he was leaving the office early and went fast to the park. He checked around the whole place but he wasn’t there. Well, was he really thinking he’d see him? What were the possibilities? Considering the other was avoiding him, maybe he’d avoid that place also so he wouldn’t meet him. “Your brain must be dying Sho, if you thought it would work”
He went to the place where he had seen him the previous day and sat in the grass, he was feeling like an idiot and he didn’t want to go home yet because maybe he’d…
“What’s wrong with you lately?” Sho started to mutter to himself while messing up his hair when he heard a voice behind him.
“What are you doing here?”
Sho looked up surprised, and he suddenly realized that even when he had come there with the intention of meeting him, he had zero plans of what he’d tell him.
“Waiting for you.”
Sho could see in Aiba’s face that he was debating between leaving or not, so he decided to bring any topic to make the other stay at least a little longer. He looked around to the dogs that were now running freely around and then back to Aiba, who was still standing in a safe distance.
“So, are all these dogs yours?”
Aiba didn’t move from his place, but at least he wasn’t leaving.
“No, I just take care of them”
“I see, I was starting to think what place you should live at, if you have that many dogs…”
And then Sho saw what looked impossible, the other let out something similar to a giggle before sitting down and Sho realized how good it would look an smile on that face. Without thinking, he got closer to him so they could talk more.
“So, do you like dogs?”
For some reason, that was the only topic that came to Sho’s mind. No “what about the cuts?” or “are you ok? You need help?” just questions about dogs. Well done Sakurai, you get better with words day by day…
“I do. Animals are not like people… I can trust them”
Then, suddenly Sho found himself wanting desperately for the other to trust him. The worst scenarios crossing through his mind about what had pushed him to be like that, but still, he had the feeling nothing he could imagine could be as bad as what the other had come through.
“Even if you won’t believe me… you can trust me.”
Sho didn’t know what else he could say; he just wanted to erase that empty look from the other’s eyes. But after a long silence when none of them said nothing, he decided to take out a risky theme again, even knowing the other may get up and leave as usual, he had to ask, he needed to know…
“Aiba-san, why do you do that to yourself?”
_________________________
A/N: So, yesterday's chapter was painfully short! So here goes the next! I really hope you're enjoying this series. Aiba really has a lot there, huh? And thanks for your comments <3