i wish you're phone wasn't off when i finally got the nerve to call...
but
thats how it always goes

i smoked way too many cigarettes in the past hour, now i'm all lightheaded. I'm really not sure about anything right now. Debating whether or not to stay. Debating people too. Call me if you care, I could use a little i dunno...something.

...well i wont hold on, no i cant hold on, no i wont hold on to this...

tonight made me realize how amazing summer is going to be. Its a prequil to college, except on a little "sheltered" island and all the girls are foreign except for 2 of us. it should be goodness...i wish it didnt take me so long to talk with the other girls i cudda been drunk last night and that would have been so neccessary.

ps. melinda=tons of

so im not gonna lie im awful lonely right now, and somethign insignificant and meaniningless just happen but it was the straw that broke the camels back and i just started crying. i need some fuckign human interaction that doesnt have to do with cleaning or food damnit. i hate calling people more than twice a day because im bored all the time and ( Read more... )

Work is tedious, I've onyl been doing it for two days now and Im already sick of spreading beds and cleaning bathrooms. So far there have been two beds that someone peed on and one toilet covered in pubes....yay!!! Work ends at 4 so i have a good 8hrs of fun to be had, but alas i have no one to have this fun with. So yesterday I wandered around the ( Read more... )

life right now seems more like a series of disconnected moments than anything else. it seems like at certain moments, im living someone eles life entirely. these days i can live life without consequence, because im leaving.

im really diggin mum right now.

sometimes this feels like it really is the end. like im never going to see a lot of you again-all the friendships will be lost in the thousands of miles that will seperate us. what will i be like when you see me in december? what will you be like? 2months of summer and 3 months of college apart? im so excited but at the same time scared that this ( Read more... )

so what would an angel say, the devil wants to know

i love my mommy so much right now.

i have so much to say to all of you, but for right now you better hope that i let this go and forgive you without apology for what you've done to mw.