I'm a sucker for challenges.

Apr 13, 2006 19:42

Because I was challenged. PTHTHTHTHTH

TITLE: Innocence Lost
PAIRING: Tinkie Winkie x La La x Po, A Morally Upright Person/the Teletubbies
RATING: PG-13
WARNING: Crack

The challenge was Teletubbie romance rape. Hey no one said I couldn't use an OC.



One day in Teletubbie land, Tinkie Winkie found a great big heart on the hillside. It made him feel very special. He was very happy, and he danced around with the heart and held it to his tummy. It felt warm in his hand and it looked pretty. When he squeezed it it said "I love you." Tinkie Winkie liked that a lot.

He wished he could give that special feeling to someone else. He headed down the path to look for the other Teletubies. He found La La.

"What that?" asked La La looking at the heart.

"Heart!" said Tinkie Winkie and he gave it to her. She squeezed it and heard it say, "I love you." She felt very special too.

Then Po walked up the hill. "What that?" asked Po.

"Heart!" said La La and Tinkie Winkie.

La La gave her the heart and Po squeeled.

Then suddenly a dark cloud passed in front of the sun. There was a dark scary noise and down from the sky came a strange looking thing. It was not a Teletubbie. It looked a little like the children they sometimes saw in their bellies only this creature was taller and looked a lot grumpier. She had her hair tied up tight in a bun, and lipstick on her pursed up mouth. Her face had frown lines, and around her neck was a very large golden cross.

It was a Moral Adult.

"Hi!" said Po. She tried to hand the creature the heart. The adult mearly glared at it.

"This is quite enough," she called to no one that the Teletubbies could see. "Children are watching this show."

"Where? Where?" Tinkie Winkie, La La, and Po jumped up and down at the thought of children watching them. They liked to watch children. They looked around but they didn't see anyone - no one except the grumpy adult.

"You three should be ashamed of yourselves!" shouted the grown-up waving her finger sternly. "Spreading your ugly sexual fantasies around to little children! It was bad enough that Tinkie Winkie gave Po that heart, which is clearly a symbol of HEADONISTIC sex, without promising marriage, but for her to go and bring a third party into this, and a FEMALE third party, well moral upstanding people like myself can't take such nonsense.”

The teletubbies simply stood, they didn’t know what to do. This person was scary.

“I can tell by your antennae that you are all moral degenerates. Tinkie Winkie, that triangle is obviously a sign that you support foisting the gay agenda on preschoolers. And La La, that corkscrew is shaped like one of these fantasy phalluses, I’m sure designed to transport your female lovers straight to the false heaven of carnal degeneracy.”

La La, Tinkie Winkie, and Po looked at each other.

“What do you say for yourselves, you disgusting creatures?” asked the tall stern thing.

“I love you?” offered Po, tentatively. Maybe if this stern thing felt the heart she would feel special and be less grumpy. Po offered the valentine again.

The woman gasped in horror. “Why I never! I’m married, thirteen years thank you, and I’m a member of the PTA and a reader at my church! I will not be part of your underaged lesbian fantasies!”

“Run away!” said Tinkie Winkie.

“Run away!” said La La and Po. They all fled back into the woods, feeling sore in strange places.

And thus did Morality rape the spirit of the Teletubbies in the name of Good and Right.
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