(Untitled)

[veazey21]

I was flipping around the TV today and landed on an episode of "The New Yankee Workshop." I used to watch that every Sunday morning with my dad before we went to church, but today, all I could think of was how much I wanted to do something, make something

Comments

[veazey21]

I'm willing to bet money my dad wants to build basically everything Norm's ever made.

[radiantthought]

Who says you can't do it? Honestly, I know you have good days and bad days, so why not make a small project for yourself on the 'good' days, or when you're not feeling too terrible to do it. Don't set a time frame and just do a little bit at a time, and stay away from things which might cause you problems like hammering or powertools. Use screws and a handsaw or dovetail joints and woodglue. Don't get into that mode of being 'handicapped' and thinking about what you can't do, be proactive and think of ways to work with what you've got.

I'm reminded of something from shawshank redemption "you either get busy living, or get busy dying."

See also: you'll get no pity from me.

[veazey21]

I've been doing something like that, but not with actually building anything. See, I haven't actually had a "good" day since February so I don't like to start anything that makes a mess or takes up a lot of space while I'm waiting to feel better. Because of that, most of my doing has been relegated to writing and stuff like that, and my hard drive is littered with all these barely-started little projects that I keep kicking around in my head until I have some flash of insight that reminds me to write it down.
Most of the time, though, I just can't concentrate for any length of time, which makes any sort of cognitive task difficult. A lot of the time, if I'm reading something longer than a couple of sentences, I subconsciously skip around trying to get the gist of what's going on so I can finish sooner. It's something I have to actively fight if I'm reading anything denser than a newspaper article.

[redesigner]

There are marathon runners who have no legs.

At the risk of sounding like a jerk, I would say that compared to those fellows you have it easy. So barrel through the pain and do whatever the hell you want.

[veazey21]

They've got legs. They've got closets full of legs.

And this isn't the kind of pain that you can just barrel through. It doesn't go away. Ever. Chronic muscle pain gets better if you sit or stand a certain way, and painkillers work on it. Neither of those is true of mine. And it significantly impacts my ability to concentrate, to think, and to really do much of anything. Any physical exertion, period, will make my head hurt worse. Even standing up. Light, sound, and strong smells make things much worse. I can barely handle the amount of noise the ice maker on the fridge makes; there's no way I'd be able to operate any kind of power tools. It's pretty aggravating.

[redesigner]

Though I am not a doctor and do not play one on TV, I can't help but suspect that there has to be at least some psychological element in play here.

Think about it. Whenever I'm visiting, or whenever there's some big event that you're excited about coming up, you practically never miss it "because of the pain." It's too big of a coincidence, and it doesn't make sense otherwise. If I were in your shoes, I'd be trying every psychological treatment I could find out about--hypnosis is still on the table, is it not?

I would also encourage you to take stock--honestly and truly--of how you do spend your waking hours, however few there may be. I know for a fact that you do spend more than a little time playing video games, and I know that many of those games require more than a little concentration. If you could apply that same focus to other projects, I feel like you wouldn't feel so helpless.

[veazey21]

The actual reason that I always do stuff when you're here is because you're only here once, maybe twice in a year and I miss hanging out with you. So, I deal with the pain for a day, and spend two or three days recuperating from it. I can't do that often because of the toll it takes on me, and I've actually been discouraged from doing it at all, but screw it. You're not around that often