A Pretty Lie, part one
Title: A Pretty Lie
Word count: Long. XD
Spoilers: All the games
Rating: R for language
Thanks: Thanks, osmandias, brenda_chan, and everyone else who read my teasers in the past, liked it, and encouraged me to write more.
... PLEASE REVIEW! XD
Notes: Roxas-centric, Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Riku and others. There’s some fluff, a number of arguments, and some crack, courtesy of Riku’s strange and brain-breaking dreams.
After the events of KH2, Roxas and Naminé are settling into the strange new existence fate has dealt them- but Roxas isn’t finding it an easy transition, and neither of them are used to dealing with real emotions.
Then Roxas realizes Naminé was the artist of his false life in Twilight Town.
Cross posted to syvia and underourblanket
"Naminé..."
She looked up, hand arrested in the act of lifting a conch shell to her ear. Roxas didn't look at her- kept his gaze on the dream's horizon. She blinked.
He was dressed in his Organization coat.
It hung in an uncomfortable bind over his body- the sleeves too small- the zipper gaping, unable to close over his usual clothing. Off-white pant legs peeked out from under the skirt of the coat. Bare hands fidgeted with the zipper and collar- trying to adjust what didn't fit anymore.
"You... you did it... didn't you?" His voice was very soft, trying for apathy and not quite managing it. He felt too much now- was too new to feeling- to close down all the way.
She didn't ask what he meant. Fear was creeping into her limbs- the seashell dropped from numb fingers, displacing the sand. Her heart beat faster. Naminé wondered if Roxas could hear it pounding.
"DiZ might have put me in that town, but he didn't make me think I'd spent sixteen years living there. It was you."
He looked at her then, but she'd already turned her face down, hiding behind her hair. She shook at the sight of his boots stepping up to her- the coat had closed and black pants of the same material were visible underneath it. His hands were still bare at his sides.
This wasn't the World that Never Was or Castle Oblivion... so why did she feel weak and vulnerable... sitting in a blank room with only a sketchbook for protection?
"Naminé-" his voice was still mild- firm... trying not to sound hurt. Betrayed.
"I promised," she whispered. She hated that suddenly. She'd found strength- gotten a backbone along her journey. "I promised Sora that I would fix his memories," Naminé said- louder now. "DiZ decided that meant taking them from you-"
"And then letting me fade into Sora."
"...Yes."
She watched his hands clench into fists, tremble and turn white at the knuckles- then loosen. She still couldn't look at him.
"Who am I?"
Naminé glanced up at that. He wasn't looking at her- she didn't think the question had been for her.
"We're not people, Naminé... we never were... we never will be. Why...?"
She opened her mouth- words died unuttered as he turned his head and looked at her.
"Why did you do it?"
"I didn't know you then-" she whispered. Naminé had asked herself this question so many times that she had an answer ready- she'd been hoping she'd never have to say it, and it wasn't the only reason, but... she'd had the answer ready.
"We hadn't met- the Organization was afraid of what could happen if you looked at me and saw Kairi... or I looked at you and saw Sora- they barely controlled you when you worked for them. I made a promise to Sora and I didn't... couldn't... care about what I was doing- even when I felt it was wrong. Maybe I would have fought harder, but I didn't know you then and I couldn't say 'No, don't do it this way' to DiZ and make him listen-"
"No," he interrupted, grasping her shoulders- not painfully. Roxas used the physical contact to silence her, his eyes begged for understanding. "Why... why did you make me think..." his voice cracked. "You made me think I was somebody."
She flinched at the raw pain in his voice. I never paid for Twilight Town- she thought wildly.
Sora had forgiven her- and then forgotten her. She'd torn down Roxas' memories and had to hope that he would survive the merge with Sora. Her actions in Castle Oblivion had demanded a year of work and Roxas' identity before the scales were balanced again.
But now she had to answer for what she'd done to Roxas.
"I can think back to that life and believe it was real- then I remember it never actually happened. Why? Why did you do that?"
Naminé blinked. "...I wanted you to be happy there. DiZ said to give you a life in Twilight Town... so I-"
"So you took away what little life and personality I had and tried to make me into Sora?"
He was in so much pain. She could hear it- her sight blurred. He didn't understand, and that had to hurt even worse.
"I didn't try to make you-" she stopped, started from another angle. "I buried the Organization and killing hordes of Heartless so you could have something I never did. You got to live a normal life-"
"That life wasn't real. You buried the truth with me- just like you did to Sora-"
She felt indignant at that, even through the guilt- she had re-written Roxas' past. She'd hidden away what was real and somehow she'd known this conversation would happen eventually- but she couldn't think, she couldn't explain the real answer to his questions- all she could do was react. She got angry.
"Because your time with the Organization was so much better? I didn't change anything with you! I gave you something else. You decided how to feel about it all on your own!"
"At least the Organization was real."
Naminé stared at his sullen anger- his real emotions- and felt her own hurt, her own anger. She shoved him away, pulling out of his hold- and he let her. The Organization coat was still on him- but too small again. It couldn't hold him in.
She glared at him, eyes blurring. "That life was going to be a lie no matter what it was like. I'm sorry for giving you a pretty one."
"...Naminé?"
She didn't turn away as Roxas glanced over her shoulder at Kairi. Naminé didn't know when her Other had gotten there. Maybe she'd heard the entire thing.
He turned without a word and left- disappearing from the dream-crafted world like a shadow.
Naminé became aware of her breathing- harsh, tearing at her throat as if she'd been running for miles. When she felt Kairi's hand on her shoulder, it ended in a sob.
Kairi pulled her into a hug as she began crying.
He swam peacefully in his fishy world- translucent orange-brown fins moving gracefully- so much more fluidly than his dolphin tail ever had. His body was small, oval-shaped, and it seemed to wiggle- head-midsection-tail, head-midsection-tail.
The blue girl-fish was babbling at him again. She was nice. Her words never made any sense, but he understood her perfectly.
A black-clad figure strode across the sea-bottom, glaring.
He expected to see the water boil in front of the land-mammal's eyes- his glare was so heated... so it happened.
Roxas stopped in his tracks, blinked- noticed that his coat was drifting in the water- and started to float, rather than walk. The dream pulled him in and with a startled exclamation he became a fish.
He grinned as the land-mammal disappeared- leaving another clownfish, this one pale gold where there should have been orange. The new fish blinked, gaping, disoriented, until he saw the other. The gold fish swam up, his glare more petulant than angry now. He ignored the girl-fish's greeting.
"I hate it when you do this," he said.
"What?"
"I'm pissed off!" he nearly shouted, fins splayed in aggravation. "I want to be alone- not swimming around in one of your stupid dreams!"
"Hey mister Grumpy Gills-" the girl-fish called teasingly, swimming up to the gold fish.
He shoved a fin into her face. "Do. Not. Start. With. Me."
She pouted at him. So did the dreamer. The gold fish looked at her, then at him, sighed heavily and swam off.
The dreamer swam after the gold fish- and when he turned back into a land-mammal, so did the dreamer.
"What's wrong?" he called. He wanted to be faster- to get ahead of the other boy-
and then he was.
The blond shouted in surprise, jerking back. Then he glared. "I hate the advantage you get when you're dreaming."
Sora blinked. Reality seeped into the surroundings- they were still standing on the bottom of the ocean, but the water was light as air, fish drifted past them, transparent and oblivious like small multi-colored ghosts.
"Roxas." Sora blinked again.
"Yeah," the blond said cattily.
"Well don't get like that- I'm unconscious. I'm not supposed to know what's going on."
Roxas sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his chest- over his black, leather-clad chest.
Sora reached out and poked him- at which Roxas twitched, made an annoyed sound. Sora gave him slightly wide eyes, tugged at one of the silver tassels.
"Did you fight with Riku again?"
Roxas opened his mouth- then froze, and an evil smile crept across his face. Sora barely refrained from cringing.
"No... but that's one hell of an idea."
Sora reached out to grab him and missed as his Other faded into the shadows around them.
Sora might have worried- but suddenly he was a fish again.
The blue fish never made any sense, but he understood her perfectly.
Roxas walked into a dream of a cheerfully grungy and shadowy nightclub.
A rather large gorilla in a tuxedo jacket and no pants grimaced down at him.
"...Nice monkey-suit," he said.
"Wise-ass," the gorilla rumbled.
Roxas smirked to himself and walked further in, looking around. Was this based on some real world, or had Riku's odd and sometimes inane mind crafted it of whole cloth? There was a large stage at the far end of the vast room, a bar off to his left, and to his right, pool and poker tables.
Roxas looked at the act on stage- and blinked. Was that Donald?
Sora's traveling companion sat at a black grand piano, playing furiously and trading insults with a black duck at a white piano. Dozens of people sat at the little tables, watching the two Duel- until Donald abruptly pulled out his staff and zapped the other duck with a Thunder spell.
Roxas shook his head. Riku's dreams were odd.
"Would you care for a game, young man?"
The blond whirled, drawing a Keyblade- much to the alarm of the dealer... who did resemble Luxord more than a little bit.
If you ignored the outfit. Roxas gaped at the vest and white dress shirt... and green sun visor, and choked back a laugh. Okay... maybe Riku's dreams were odd, but at least they were entertaining.
"No thanks," he managed. Roxas dispelled Oblivion and walked away, looking around. A woman with a wooden tray slung around her neck passed him with a smile- looked oddly like she belonged in the Timeless River, except it was a woman and not some form of bipedal animal like the people from Disney Castle. Roxas shook his head in exasperation- noticed what appeared to be Xigbar and Xaldin standing around one pool table using Xaldin's spears as cues and- he really didn't want to know what those were rolling about the table.
The blond moved resolutely towards the far wall- he thought he'd seen a silver-haired figure at one table... no... that man had a tail. Unfortunately the being turned towards him, a look of interest on his delicate face.
"This is ridiculous," Roxas muttered. He closed his eyes and stretched out a hand. Riku. I'm looking for Riku. He ignored the slim-fingered hand ruffling through the feathery spikes at the very top of his head and concentrated.
The dreamscape shifted around him and he opened his eyes. He was in another part of the club- the stage and bar had disappeared, replaced by pool tables... as far as the eye could see.
"Hullo there!"
Roxas blinked and looked down. "...Your Majesty?"
The mouse wore short red pants and yellow shoes and held a pool cue twice as tall as he was.
"Mickey's the name," the mouse said cheerfully, pointing a poofy, white gloved thumb at himself.
"Uh... yeah." Roxas muttered. "Where's Riku?"
Mickey chuckled and pointed.
Roxas looked up- and sure enough, Riku was standing just five tables away, arguing with a bald man in glasses.
"The cheese stands alone, damnit!" he shouted.
"Thanks," Roxas muttered to his diminutive helper. Mickey saluted and went back to his own game. The billiard balls appeared to be normal, but Mickey took aim and shot- and the cue ball whooped with delight as it flew across the velvet and knocked into ball 13. Upon impact, the balls grunted, then squealed as they rolled in different directions.
And I thought Sora's dreams were bad, Roxas mused. He hastened over to Riku in time to watch the bald man smile widely as he lifted a lone square of yellow from the white plate on Riku's table and carefully lay it with four other cheesy slices.
Riku glared and lifted his pool cue threateningly. The man was unperturbed, and simply stood there, grinning.
"Will you explain it to him?" Riku demanded, turning and looking at Roxas.
"The cheese stands alone," Roxas agreed, pulling the Kingdom Key and vanquishing the Cheese Man.
Riku nodded. "That'll show him." Then he looked at Roxas again. "What do you want?"
Roxas smiled. Finally- finally normalcy. He knew just how to turn this dream in the right direction.
Number XIII reached back and pulled his hood over his head. "I wanna fight. Ready?"
He pulled Oblivion from nothingness, swinging overhand-
Riku brought his pool cue up to block- and it turned into his Souleater.
Suddenly the taller boy was wearing an Organization cloak and a blindfold.
Roxas smiled.
This would be fun.
The book sat in front of her, blank and accusing.
She'd wanted to be alone with her thoughts- so Kairi left her alone, had said there were errands she wanted to run. She'd lingered at the kitchen door, asking if Naminé was sure she'd be okay?
Naminé had managed a smile for her, shooed her Other away.
She had wanted this.
She sat in the dream-formed version of Kairi's home, breathing deeply of the clove-and-paopu scented candles Kairi's mother really did scatter about the room. She wasn't sure whether it was her own memory or Kairi's that had added in the scent.
She didn't think it mattered.
It was quiet. No bugs chirping, no birds singing. She was utterly alone.
The way she wanted it.
Alone... staring at the sketchpad.
Because being alone always seemed to involve a sketchpad.
It was there because something- some part of her- wanted it there. She knew that- she understood that about herself.
When there's something that you want to remember, draw.
When there's something you don't quite understand, draw.
When you want to escape and be somewhere better...
She sat, staring, tears collecting in her eyes and the back of her throat- and never noticed as the walls bleached- the seat beneath her turned from one of the high-backed kitchen chairs to white magic-conjured marble. The wood grain in the table was swallowed by white threads which became a tablecloth. The scent around her gained a floral quality and she shivered.
"Oh, poor precious."
Her breath caught, and it sounded like a sob. Naminé sat up straight in the chair, as if she'd been struck.
The purr continued, something like sympathy, and something like a tiger catching the scent of blood.
"He's left you yet again, but this time it means more. This time you really felt it."
His hair smelled of flowers as he approached, then leaned forward- breath moving hot over her ear.
"This time, he hasn't forgiven you."
She shook her head, unable to manage words. She didn't agree with him- she- froze as gloved fingers brushed her cheek, then rested lightly on her upper arm.
"Our little XIII can be caged, perhaps- and take food peaceably from his captor's hand. But you were foolish to remove the cage and think he had been tamed."
Naminé leaned away from the hand, perching on the edge of the seat. "He's not."
"Hmm?" the hand followed her, briefly catching a lock of hair and tugging gently- possessively.
She turned her head, pulling away and looking over her shoulder at the leather-clad hips and abdomen. Naminé didn't want to look any higher- didn't want to see his face....
"He's not your XIII. There is no Organization anymore."
"Isn't there?" He laughed. "I wonder, precious." He stepped forward and leaned against the table. She still refused to look at him.
Naminé tightened her jaw. She wasn't afraid of him- not now when there was no reason for it. She had to remember that. "Roxas doesn't have to be the Key of Destiny anymore... not if he doesn't want to, and I'm not your precious."
"Hmm." He covered her hand with his own and lifted it. She pulled her hand away- he tightened his grip, not releasing her. "Where is the line drawn between memory and reality, Naminé? You know better than any.
"Is there a difference for us?"
Naminé raised her face slowly to meet Marluxia's cornflower eyes.
"The difference is- I'm alive. You're dead," at the last word he flinched, and she jerked her hand out of his.
She stood and the table- the chair- the Nobody, all faded into white as she left the dream-crafted room.
Naminé opened a door in the Light and walked outside.
Ocean breezes greeted her. She squinted at the reflection of light on water and shaded her eyes, sighing. Seagulls called as she entered the Play Island in Kairi's heart. She felt a little better for the confrontation, and yet, a little worse. Roxas hadn't forgiven her- not as quickly or easily as Sora had. She didn't know how to fix this.
Naminé shook her head sadly and tilted her face upward- letting the midday sun dry her tears.
She had come looking for him. Roxas felt her presence ripple through his dreamscape and opened his eyes.
His voice was tired, harsh, as he started to turn, "What do you want Nami-"
That wasn't Naminé.
"-Kairi?"
Her mind was rooted a little more in reality while dreaming than Sora normally was- she was good at that- so she stood there in a sleeveless nightgown with fuzzy little paopu fruits on it. She looked so absurd in the vast dark of nothing. Utterly out of place- the very picture of normality.
It was such a lie. She was a Princess of Heart, in dreams or out of them, and the magic in every fiber of her being turned heads whether those looking understood what they saw or not. That was outside dreams. Within them she burned. Her life- her depth of emotion. It hurt to be near her sometimes, she was so bright.
She banished shadows.
"Hi, Roxas," she said, and smiled a little.
He could remember the first time he'd met her- that strange connection that reminded him of Naminé, but wasn't exactly... the same.
Close enough. Close enough to like her before he'd known the difference between her and Naminé.
He glared at her but didn't really feel it. "Kairi," he nodded.
Her bare foot tapped on the featureless black ground and she laced her fingers together in front of her, pausing.
"So... this is a really... interesting dream."
Roxas gave her a Look, then pointedly turned, taking in the lack of scenery, people, objects, anything at all but a black sky and ground beneath their feet. He'd used to retreat into a Corridor when he was trying to think, removing all distraction as he pursued whatever concept eluded him at the time.
In the past, most of those stretches of contemplation had involved Sora. Right now it had begun with Naminé, moved on to Sora, and currently encompassed a number of people.
He wasn't any closer to a solution.
In the past, he would remain hidden within the realm of Darkness until he got what he wanted- or until one of the Organization came around to fetch him back to the World that Never Was.
The Organization was no more, and people still interrupted him. But... Kairi didn’t outrank him.
He finished scanning the area around them and faced Kairi again. "I was actually in the middle of something," he told her. "If you could get lost, so I can get on with it, that would be really great."
Kairi sighed and let her hands fall to her sides.
"Has anyone ever told you you're a pissy little bitch?" she asked, utterly serious.
Roxas barked a laugh before turning away from her. "Yeah. Axel used to do it all the time."
Kairi looked sympathetic for an instant before grimacing and padding across the ground to stand next to him- suddenly she was wearing fuzzy yellow house slippers.
"So what do you want?" he asked again, not looking at her.
"I want you to figure out the real reason you're angry and deal with it. You're upsetting Naminé for no reason."
That’s what he had been doing, or trying to do, before Kairi had barged in. But since she brought it up... "Naminé? Or do you mean you?"
"Other than getting me mad at you for making her sad, you're not doing anything to me," Kairi said wryly.
"But she is you, right? So any time she's upset, so are you," he sneered at her.
Kairi paused, giving him a searching look- hands on her hips. "Is that what you're angry about? You feel Sora's emotions?"
Roxas glared. She refused to react the right way. "Naminé messed with my head, just like she messed with Sora's head- why are you defending her? She made him forget you-"
"She told me what she did. I forgave her."
"Why? Because you don't want to be angry at yourself-"
"Because she feels guilty about it," Kairi said, overriding him. "She was sorry- she wanted forgiveness and she told me everything that happened- she let me see it."
It occurred to him how nice it would have been to just believe her. He could let Kairi convince him- give him reasons to forgive Naminé and forget what had happened. He wouldn’t. He was angry- he couldn't stop feeling angry now that he was- he simply felt angry about different things. Since he'd joined with Sora he'd felt emotion, real emotion- he'd been using the experiences from Twilight Town to help him regulate his feelings but- they weren't real.
He refused to make use of a lie- a crutch Naminé had provided to keep him blind to reality. He wasn't going to try and calm down- he didn't want to change the anger into something 'nicer'. He was determined to be angry until he no longer had a reason.
He didn't think that was going to happen any time soon.
"How d'you know she wasn't keeping things from you?” he said softly. “That's what she does, Kairi-"
"When it really mattered, Naminé stopped what she was doing to Sora," she continued, ignoring Roxas' comment. "Then, once Marluxia was gone, she went and did everything she could to fix his head." Her voice was kind- utterly calm, willing him to understand.
But he was still angry.
"Yeah," Roxas said with terrible calmness. "She fixed him by fucking with me." Then he walked past Kairi, jostling her a bit with his shoulder.
Kairi stayed there for a moment, collecting herself so she wouldn't start yelling at him. He had a point- she knew he had a point- but she also had a point!
"Don't try to tell me I shouldn't be angry-" he said, spinning on his heel and coming back up to her. "I'm a Nobody- yeah- 'life sucks and then you fade', all that shit. Naminé messed with the one thing We have- the one thing the darkness didn't take away from us. She knew what she was doing, and she did it anyway."
Kairi turned to face him, her sympathy visible now. He winced and mentally drew back from her- he didn't want it- Roxas knew the compassion was genuine and the only way to keep her from affecting him was to ignore it.
"I'm not," Kairi said quietly. "You do have the right to be angry... but don't be angry at her," she pleaded. "Roxas, she wanted to help Sora. She didn't want to hurt your feelings-"
"She didn't have to worry about that," he sing-songed- now he could get some of the anger back- anger was better than being upset- you could do more with it.
"You have feelings now! I heard you on the beach- you said you were angry that she made you think you were Somebody. Well she didn't do that to hurt you. It's stupid to blame somebody for a mistake they made out of kindness. Or- fine- do blame her- but then get over it and forgive her. It's not her fault that-"
"That I was in DiZ's program? Yeah, you're actually right about that. That was Riku's fault."
Kairi slapped a hand to her face and asked for patience.
"Fine! Blame Riku for getting you and taking you to DiZ. Then blame Naminé again for giving Riku a reason to need you to restore Sora's memory, then blame the Organization for coming up with Castle Oblivion in the first place, or blame Sora for falling into their trap," she was poking him in the chest by this time.
"While you're at it, blame Sora for creating you in the first place, and blame me, because he did it to save my life. Blame both of us for creating you and Naminé and blame Ans-Xehanort for taking Riku over and giving Sora the key to do it.
"I don't care! Sometimes. Things. Happen. You can be pissed off about it, you can be angry for as long as you want- or you can let it go and be happier in life," she stopped, taking a deep breath, and looked at him.
Roxas stared at her, a bit stunned, and said nothing.
"Have fun figuring out which you want to do," she murmured. "I'm leaving," which she did, turning around and striding off into the shadows.
Roxas watched the place she’d disappeared for a long while, thinking again- in new directions.
When his thoughts drifted over Kairi, without knowing he was doing it, Roxas smiled faintly.
Kairi stalked right out of Sora's heart and latched onto Riku's. It was easy to find Sora- she'd been able to do it ever since their first quest and she'd spent months riding around in the warm, turbulent sanctuary just beneath his left breast. Months after her boys had returned to her- plus one- she'd reached out to Sora, found him- and found a corridor of love and strength reaching away from him- away from her- that came to an end in the center of Riku's heart.
Riku been surprised to see her there, certainly, but after repetition (and the useful fact that Riku hadn't been good at remembering his dreams then), he'd gotten used to her infrequent visits.
She still wasn't used to his dreams.
The sex dreams she knew to turn around and run from- there were some things about her silver-haired friend that neither of them wanted her to know. She'd blushed for days after the first and only time she'd walked in on him and some faceless redhead that might or might not have been her (he loved her, she knew, and he was a guy- what more explanation did you need?), and decided it was better for her own dignity- and certainly his, if she just turned around and walked away when she heard the moaning.
There was no moaning this time- instead, one of Riku's 'weird' dreams.
He was wearing a fluffy purple bunny suit, trying to make balloon animals for a host of squalling five-year-olds who looked suspiciously like their old enemies.
Kairi looked up- further up than usual- at him, and realized she too had been reduced to a younger version of herself. She blinked- and caught her breath. The little dress was white, sleeveless, with pink embroidery her Grandmother had applied with her own two hands. She halted that line of thought before she got caught up in Riku's dream-version of herself.
She wasn’t five years old. She wasn’t. She was sixteen years old, much taller than this, and fully capable of kicking some heartless ass. Kairi opened her eyes again and saw the carpeted floor was much farther away
Just in time too, as the other kiddies had taken notice and a few were converging on her.
It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Some of the tiny Organization was calm- even cute. A thin-faced boy with blue hair and an ‘x’ shaped scar on his forehead clung to her leg and said very seriously that she was now his captive. She patted him on the head.
“Of course, I am,” she assured him, and made her way into the room. His expression didn’t change, but as he continued to cling- forcing Kairi to drag that leg instead of lifting it- he seemed appeased.
A little blond with a toy guitar smiled from an overstuffed chair and waved as she passed him.
“I’m taking requests!” he sang out.
“Play whatever you like best, Demyx,” she said, and smiled as she kept moving.
She liked children. The smaller they were, the easier it was to make them happy... not that Riku saw it that way. At least- not in this dream, given that he was now shouting that the oddly shaped white balloon thing was a poodle, damnit, and he didn't give a shit what pint-sized Ans-Xehanort thought.
"Okay everybody, cake and ice cream in the backyard!" she announced brightly.
There was, abruptly, a door in the nearest wall- and outside it a grass-covered yard with picnic tables and, as promised, cake and ice cream. Riku gaped at her appearance- having failed to notice her before then- and then looked pathetically grateful for the intervention.
The children- most of them, anyway, ran for the door. Itty-bitty Jafar ran because miniature Hades had just lit his robes on fire, but they point was, they left. Some didn’t want to go. A little Organization boy with dark hair falling sloppily over his face was quite happy with the chemistry set in front of him- thank you- and his blond-haired companion tried to hit Kairi in the leg with his shield when she reached for them.
A larger boy reading a comic book sighed and grabbed the both of them by their collars, pulling them outside.
Kairi didn’t know that one, but she liked him.
Saix continued to cling, but frowned faintly. “I’m supposed to guard you,” he muttered, casting a covetous look at the backyard. A little blond girl in Organization garb made a show of eating her ice cream, blue eyes glittering at him.
That decided the little diviner and he ran off.
“I’ll turn into a dragon and eat you up!”
Kairi turned, hid a smirk at the little sorceress clinging to Riku’s arm.
“Oh, I’m shaking in my fluffy purple boots,” Riku answered. She gave an almighty tug on his hand- and came off with a bunny glove. Riku laughed at her outraged growl and slammed the door- shutting them all outside.
Kairi grinned at him “Hi Riku.”
“Kairi, I could kiss you.”
She chuckled, then grunted softly as a small body collided with her leg. She looked down and saw her Other.
Riku grinned at the little Naminé, then glanced around the room, taking in the sight of a baby-sized Sora- sleeping with his thumb in his mouth, and an equally small Roxas in full mini-Organization garb sitting in the 'time out' corner. His arms were crossed and he looked- much, much cuter than he should have, pouting there.
“Nice and quiet now,” he murmured.
“Not once they’ve finished dessert,” Kairi grinned.
Riku made a face and sighed.
"Riku?" she asked, scooping up Naminé and placing the little blond on her hip, "can you do me a favor?"
"After getting me out of that shit?" he said, pointing at the little Maleficent, hovering outside the window and sternly knocking on the glass, "Name it and I'll do it."
Kairi smiled down at her Other.
"Naminé needs some cheering up," and handed the little girl to Riku, who gave him a solemn-eyed look before snuggling into his fuzzy purple chest. He supported her with one arm, smiling gently.
Kairi took his free hand in hers and opened another door-
Naminé blinked and looked up- something felt different, and it wasn’t that she’d been sitting in moonlight that was now abruptly daytime over the Play Island.
Rather... it wasn’t only that.
"Naminé!"
She whipped her head around to watch Riku galloping across the sand- toy sword almost too big for his six-year-old body, smile wide enough to crack his face. She smiled back, stood, and gasped as she realized she was only as big as he was.
"What-"
"C'mon, let's go!" and Riku grabbed her hand in his, pulling her along. "Have you seen the Secret Place yet? I wanna show you before Sora-"
She looked back and saw her Other- small and smiling, adorable, just like the boys had been at the same age- waving goodbye.
"Have fun!" Kairi called after them.
Roxas stood in the dim light, his sneaker-clad feet leaving tread marks in the dust of the attic- he'd been up here before, seen it through Sora's eyes and through his memories.
He wasn’t any closer to a solution for his anger than he had been after arguing with Kairi- but he wanted... he wanted to remember.
A little boy- eight years old- reading books that used to belong to his father- paging through photo albums and laughing at the funny outfits his relatives used to wear.
He made dream-logic work for him and reached up high- he was only eight years old in this dream- and tugged at the spine of one photo album until it fell from the shelf and nearly knocked him on the head.
He looked at it- a smile stretching across his little face. It's his. Hidden among Sora's long-gone relations and Sora's baby photos, his memories.
Roxas sat back on his heels and laid the album open in the dust. The first pages are Twilight Town- awakening, search, discovery. He remembered, distantly, searching the town for... something. Anything. Some kind of answer to questions he didn't yet know to ask.
He didn't know what he was- who he was- he only knew he needed something.
Then something found him.
A tall figure in black stood at the end of an alleyway- watching him. It approached and he waited- unafraid... unaware of fear.
"We have been searching for you, Number Thirteen," it said in a deep, melodic- almost hypnotic voice.
"-He always sounded that creepy?"
Roxas flinched and snapped the album shut, whipping his head around to look at Sora- also eight years old- kneeling beside him on the dusty floor.
"Found you," the little brunette said brightly.
Roxas calmed slowly, and half-glared. "Yeah? So un-find me now. I wanna be alone."
"Can't," Sora said cheerfully. "We share a heart, remember?" He got up and went to the bookcase, threw a devil-may-care grin over his shoulder and gripped as far up on the case as he could before putting a small foot on one of the lower shelves. Roxas bit back an admonition to be careful.
Sora climbed- in dream space, the bookcase was impossibly tall, until he had easy access to one of the higher shelves. Bracing himself with one hand- he pulled out a large photo album.
"Look out below!" and pulled it off the shelf.
Roxas dodged and it hit the floor with an almighty thunk.
Sora climbed down a few shelves, then jumped and landed on his feet just beside the book. He opened it the wrong way and hurriedly turned pages, grinning all the while.
Despite himself, Roxas moved to look- his own, smaller, album tucked under one arm.
Eventually Sora found the page he wanted and pointed triumphantly to a picture of himself with a sharp rock in hand, scoring lines deliberately into the surface of a rock-wall.
He wanted to share a paopu with Kairi... not that he would admit it. But... he did. So he kind of would.
His smile was lazy as the new drawing took shape- his outstretched hand, and in it, a star-shaped fruit. It closed in on Kairi's mouth, close enough that if she bit down, she could eat some.
"This world has been connected," a voice echoed.
Sora cried out in surprise, jumping up and hiding the carving by standing in front of it.
"See? Creepy."
Roxas squashed the smile that had been creeping onto his face. "Yeah? So?"
"So what else you got in there?" Sora asked, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the album.
The little blond leaned away, hiding the book behind his back. "They're mine. If you see them, they'll be yours and not mine anymore."
Sora made a rude noise and grinned. "Nuh-uh." He poked his memory of the paopu carving. "This is still mine. I made it, and I kept it. That doesn't mean you can't share it with me."
Roxas' eyes tightened- stubborn and unsure.
His Other sighed and flopped onto his stomach on the floor, turning a few more pages. He smoothed one down and his hand caught on a photo- with five corners. Sora blinked, tilted his head and tugged the odd corner out- producing a loose photograph.
The back of a spiky brown head was obviously Sora, but the woman with hair the color of sunlight and cruelly glittering blue eyes was unfamiliar, even as her black coat screamed Organization XIII.
"Larxene," Roxas murmured, drawn in once again.
"...Larxene," Sora repeated- drawing the name over his tongue. It tasted like lightning.
"But you're still forgetting something, aren't you, Sora? The most important thing. When that poor girl hears you've forgotten her name, she'll be heartbroken," she taunted, smirking.
His friend- lost so long ago. How dare she be the one to return that memory? She had no right-
"Naminé," Sora murmured, looking thoughtfully at the picture.
Roxas reached for the picture and Sora let him have it, his little face screwed up in thought.
"It's from Castle Oblivion," Roxas murmured, holding it in both hands. His own album had been set to one side.
Sora began turning pages, not seeming to actually look at the pictures- then abruptly he stopped and snagged another stray photo.
Donald stood there with a curious expression on his face- his beak was open and he was talking to a small blond girl with pale eyes.
"Can you fix our memories?" he asked.
Naminé bobbed her head once. "Yes. Just because you can't remember something doesn't mean it's gone."
Sora stood beside Goofy, who scratched his head and looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Remembering one thing leads to remembering another, and then another..." she said, touching one finger to another, and then another, illustrating her point. "Your memories are connected, like links in a chain. Those same chains are what anchor us all together. I don't destroy memories," she said, laying a hand on her chest. "I just take apart the links and rearrange them. You still have all your memories."
"They're still here," Roxas whispered.
Sora looked at him- at the sixteen-year-old Roxas he saw in dreams. He knew he had changed as well.
Roxas stared at the album in what looked like reverence- touched one of the soft burgundy pages covered in photographs.
Sora looked thoughtfully at him, then at the newly remembered scene from a place he barely recalled having visited.
"Why is it so important to you?" Sora asked, offering the photograph of Donald and Naminé to his Other.
"I..." he took it and fell silent, looking at the pictures. “It’s not important to you? You went into Castle Oblivion. Things happened there that you can’t remember.”
Sora turned to lay on his side, bent his arm upward and braced his head in his hand. “All kinds of things happened in my life that I don’t remember anymore.”
“But those things weren’t important,” Roxas insisted. “You don’t forget important things unless someone makes you forget them.”
Sora smirked. “Is that why the one guy from the Organization kept his orders on cards?”
Roxas gave him a half-strength version of his usual death glare. “I’m being serious.”
He shrugged. “Okay, why is it important that I remember what happened in Castle Oblivion? I got the overview from Riku later- Donald, Goofy and I took on part of the Organization and won. Sounds good- do I need to know more?”
He only felt more annoyed at his Other’s flippant attitude. “You fought Ursula and Jafar and Hades during the whole Xehanort’s Heartless thing, right?” Roxas asked.
“Yeah.”
“So you’d be okay with just erasing those memories- forgetting about them, because you ended up winning the battles? You’d be fine if you lost the memories as if they’d never happened at all?”
Sora grimaced.
“Then you see my point,” Roxas said, heavily sarcastic. “Everything you do helps make who you are. Everything you go through makes a difference- so if you don’t have everything...”
Sora tapped his fingers on the attic floor. “But if you like who you are,” he said thoughtfully, “does it matter?”
Roxas went utterly still- didn’t answer Sora, and didn’t quite look at him when his Other glanced up.
“Besides,” Sora continued, oblivious to Roxas’ discomfort, “it’s not what you go through- it’s how you deal with what you go through that makes you who you are.”
“...But what if you were better?” he murmured, looking at the photographs.
“What if you were worse?” Sora returned.
Sora was... right, he realized. But he still wanted to know.
Roxas set the pictures carefully on the floor and opened his small, black album. He felt in a similar fashion around the edges of his own photos- drew out a loose picture.
A tall Nobody with an eye-patch and black-and-white streaked hair pulled into a tail stood in an open door.
"Hey 'chosen one'," Xigbar called, snidely- and made an amused-sounding noise at Roxas' glare. "You've got Heartless to be killing."
"...What if I don't feel like it?"
A grunt. "Orders, kid. You have a problem- talk to the Superior."
Darkness spiraled up around Roxas' feet. Seconds later he was standing before the First, seated behind a desk and giving orders to a slightly bored-looking Marluxia. They both turned to look at him.
"Xemnas," Number XIII began, approaching the desk, "what's the point of the Heartless slaughter? What's the connection between-"
Roxas pressed the photograph between his hands, hiding the rest.
Sora blinked. "Hey! C'mon- there's gotta be more to it than that!"
"No," Roxas murmured. It wasn't an answer to Sora's question. It was refusal. He wasn't going to let his Other see what came next.
"...Why not?"
Silence.
Sora reached for the album and a hand caught his wrist- gripping like a vice.
"Sora," Roxas said firmly, fixing him with narrowed blue eyes. "No."
"What are you afraid to let me see?" he asked, almost whispering.
Then, abruptly, Roxas was gone- album and loose photo with him.
Sora sighed. He picked up the two stray memories from Castle Oblivion and looked at them, curious, considering... then tucked them into a pocket of the inside cover on his album.
Then he left as well.
Roxas strode through the darkness, book clutched tightly under his arm.
What are you afraid to let me see?
He slowed, looked down as he stopped walking. The photo still in his hand- continued.
"-What's the connection between the Keyblade and your goals?"
The Superior gazed at him calmly. Marluxia, ignored for the moment, gazed slyly at the Superior- waiting for Xemnas' reaction.
"It is not your place to ask such a question, number XIII."
"Since it's my Keyblade, I think it's my question, if it's anybody's."
"Ah- but it is not, in fact, your Keyblade. One might say you've... inherited it. The only way to keep it is in the completion of Kingdom Hearts."
"So? How does killing the Heartless help?"
"Does it matter? Does the why of a method matter, so long as it is so?"
"Well, maybe if I knew how it worked- I could make it work faster."
"Impertinence does not become you, number XIII."
Roxas didn't ignore Xemnas' slow rise from his chair- nor the smirk that graced Marluxia's lips. He didn't back down either.
"I want my heart back just as much as everyone else," he said, backing up a few steps as Xemnas came around the desk. "But I'd like to know what's going on. Since no one will tell me-"
"Because you have no need to know."
Roxas opened his mouth again- then Xemnas had him two feet off the ground- one hand grasping his neck, the other clasped around his Keyblade hand- rendering it immobile, and therefore useless.
"Why is this such a problem?" Roxas forced out. "What are you hiding from me?"
Xemnas raised one eyebrow- his lips parted....
Roxas strode through the illusion, ignoring the memory, refusing to watch the subsequent fight and his lengthy and immensely painful defeat. Anger burned in his chest, anger and something... stronger.
He left by the exit in the center of the far wall, kicking open the double doors- and heard a shout.
Roxas flinched, whirled, and Oblivion caught on the spokes of Axel's chakram. He froze- eyes widening at the Flurry of Dancing Flames- as whole and healthy as he had ever been in existence.
"What?" Axel asked, smirking. "You had me Memorized, didn't 'ya?"
"That's so unfair."
"What?" Kairi laughed.
"They're so cute at that age!" Sora complained, pointing at little Riku and little Naminé, making a sandcastle.
"So are we!" Kairi comforted, nudging him with her shoulder.
Sora kicked his feet above the ground. He and Kairi were sitting on the bridge to Riku's island, watching their small friends play further down the beach.
"So... what's going on?"
Kairi tilted her head at Sora, blinking. Then she grinned.
"You're clueless," she teased.
He pouted. "That's why I asked!"
"You don't know what's going on-" Kairi sing-songed.
Sora pouted more and crossed his arms over his chest, sulking.
"Roxas didn't tell you anything?"
"Nooooooooooooo," he said, tone growing more snotty and sarcastic as he drew out the word.
Kairi sighed and flopped back- laying on the bridge now. "Naminé hurt Roxas' feelings by accident, and Roxas got upset. So they're both upset now, and I went and told Roxas he was mean- and then I came over to get Riku to play with Naminé so she'd feel better."
"What's Roxas upset about?" Sora asked, wide-eyed.
"...He really hasn't told you?" Kairi asked, surprised.
Sora scoffed, sulked again. "He doesn't tell me anything. But he was talking about forgetting memories and stuff."
"Huh. Naminé tells me everything."
"Like what?"
Kairi shook her head, sat back up. "That's her business, if she wants to tell you or not- but... stuff like when she lived with the Organization. Stuff that happened in Castle Oblivion. Stuff that she and Riku did while you were asleep."
"I've asked Roxas questions before," Sora complained, abruptly sixteen years old again- looking very tall beside child-sized Kairi. "He usually gives me a non-answer or leaves."
"...Maybe he just needs some more time," Kairi said, sounding very adult, yet still wearing the five-year-old body. "Ya know- being part of you, living here on the Islands... feeling- it's gotta be really different for him. He's probably still adjusting. Maybe- he'll tell you stuff when he knows you better?"
"I hope so," Sora murmured.
Kairi flopped against his side- and Sora grinned as he put an arm around her little shoulders.
~~~
Part 2
Word count: Long. XD
Spoilers: All the games
Rating: R for language
Thanks: Thanks, osmandias, brenda_chan, and everyone else who read my teasers in the past, liked it, and encouraged me to write more.
... PLEASE REVIEW! XD
Notes: Roxas-centric, Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Riku and others. There’s some fluff, a number of arguments, and some crack, courtesy of Riku’s strange and brain-breaking dreams.
After the events of KH2, Roxas and Naminé are settling into the strange new existence fate has dealt them- but Roxas isn’t finding it an easy transition, and neither of them are used to dealing with real emotions.
Then Roxas realizes Naminé was the artist of his false life in Twilight Town.
Cross posted to syvia and underourblanket
"Naminé..."
She looked up, hand arrested in the act of lifting a conch shell to her ear. Roxas didn't look at her- kept his gaze on the dream's horizon. She blinked.
He was dressed in his Organization coat.
It hung in an uncomfortable bind over his body- the sleeves too small- the zipper gaping, unable to close over his usual clothing. Off-white pant legs peeked out from under the skirt of the coat. Bare hands fidgeted with the zipper and collar- trying to adjust what didn't fit anymore.
"You... you did it... didn't you?" His voice was very soft, trying for apathy and not quite managing it. He felt too much now- was too new to feeling- to close down all the way.
She didn't ask what he meant. Fear was creeping into her limbs- the seashell dropped from numb fingers, displacing the sand. Her heart beat faster. Naminé wondered if Roxas could hear it pounding.
"DiZ might have put me in that town, but he didn't make me think I'd spent sixteen years living there. It was you."
He looked at her then, but she'd already turned her face down, hiding behind her hair. She shook at the sight of his boots stepping up to her- the coat had closed and black pants of the same material were visible underneath it. His hands were still bare at his sides.
This wasn't the World that Never Was or Castle Oblivion... so why did she feel weak and vulnerable... sitting in a blank room with only a sketchbook for protection?
"Naminé-" his voice was still mild- firm... trying not to sound hurt. Betrayed.
"I promised," she whispered. She hated that suddenly. She'd found strength- gotten a backbone along her journey. "I promised Sora that I would fix his memories," Naminé said- louder now. "DiZ decided that meant taking them from you-"
"And then letting me fade into Sora."
"...Yes."
She watched his hands clench into fists, tremble and turn white at the knuckles- then loosen. She still couldn't look at him.
"Who am I?"
Naminé glanced up at that. He wasn't looking at her- she didn't think the question had been for her.
"We're not people, Naminé... we never were... we never will be. Why...?"
She opened her mouth- words died unuttered as he turned his head and looked at her.
"Why did you do it?"
"I didn't know you then-" she whispered. Naminé had asked herself this question so many times that she had an answer ready- she'd been hoping she'd never have to say it, and it wasn't the only reason, but... she'd had the answer ready.
"We hadn't met- the Organization was afraid of what could happen if you looked at me and saw Kairi... or I looked at you and saw Sora- they barely controlled you when you worked for them. I made a promise to Sora and I didn't... couldn't... care about what I was doing- even when I felt it was wrong. Maybe I would have fought harder, but I didn't know you then and I couldn't say 'No, don't do it this way' to DiZ and make him listen-"
"No," he interrupted, grasping her shoulders- not painfully. Roxas used the physical contact to silence her, his eyes begged for understanding. "Why... why did you make me think..." his voice cracked. "You made me think I was somebody."
She flinched at the raw pain in his voice. I never paid for Twilight Town- she thought wildly.
Sora had forgiven her- and then forgotten her. She'd torn down Roxas' memories and had to hope that he would survive the merge with Sora. Her actions in Castle Oblivion had demanded a year of work and Roxas' identity before the scales were balanced again.
But now she had to answer for what she'd done to Roxas.
"I can think back to that life and believe it was real- then I remember it never actually happened. Why? Why did you do that?"
Naminé blinked. "...I wanted you to be happy there. DiZ said to give you a life in Twilight Town... so I-"
"So you took away what little life and personality I had and tried to make me into Sora?"
He was in so much pain. She could hear it- her sight blurred. He didn't understand, and that had to hurt even worse.
"I didn't try to make you-" she stopped, started from another angle. "I buried the Organization and killing hordes of Heartless so you could have something I never did. You got to live a normal life-"
"That life wasn't real. You buried the truth with me- just like you did to Sora-"
She felt indignant at that, even through the guilt- she had re-written Roxas' past. She'd hidden away what was real and somehow she'd known this conversation would happen eventually- but she couldn't think, she couldn't explain the real answer to his questions- all she could do was react. She got angry.
"Because your time with the Organization was so much better? I didn't change anything with you! I gave you something else. You decided how to feel about it all on your own!"
"At least the Organization was real."
Naminé stared at his sullen anger- his real emotions- and felt her own hurt, her own anger. She shoved him away, pulling out of his hold- and he let her. The Organization coat was still on him- but too small again. It couldn't hold him in.
She glared at him, eyes blurring. "That life was going to be a lie no matter what it was like. I'm sorry for giving you a pretty one."
"...Naminé?"
She didn't turn away as Roxas glanced over her shoulder at Kairi. Naminé didn't know when her Other had gotten there. Maybe she'd heard the entire thing.
He turned without a word and left- disappearing from the dream-crafted world like a shadow.
Naminé became aware of her breathing- harsh, tearing at her throat as if she'd been running for miles. When she felt Kairi's hand on her shoulder, it ended in a sob.
Kairi pulled her into a hug as she began crying.
He swam peacefully in his fishy world- translucent orange-brown fins moving gracefully- so much more fluidly than his dolphin tail ever had. His body was small, oval-shaped, and it seemed to wiggle- head-midsection-tail, head-midsection-tail.
The blue girl-fish was babbling at him again. She was nice. Her words never made any sense, but he understood her perfectly.
A black-clad figure strode across the sea-bottom, glaring.
He expected to see the water boil in front of the land-mammal's eyes- his glare was so heated... so it happened.
Roxas stopped in his tracks, blinked- noticed that his coat was drifting in the water- and started to float, rather than walk. The dream pulled him in and with a startled exclamation he became a fish.
He grinned as the land-mammal disappeared- leaving another clownfish, this one pale gold where there should have been orange. The new fish blinked, gaping, disoriented, until he saw the other. The gold fish swam up, his glare more petulant than angry now. He ignored the girl-fish's greeting.
"I hate it when you do this," he said.
"What?"
"I'm pissed off!" he nearly shouted, fins splayed in aggravation. "I want to be alone- not swimming around in one of your stupid dreams!"
"Hey mister Grumpy Gills-" the girl-fish called teasingly, swimming up to the gold fish.
He shoved a fin into her face. "Do. Not. Start. With. Me."
She pouted at him. So did the dreamer. The gold fish looked at her, then at him, sighed heavily and swam off.
The dreamer swam after the gold fish- and when he turned back into a land-mammal, so did the dreamer.
"What's wrong?" he called. He wanted to be faster- to get ahead of the other boy-
and then he was.
The blond shouted in surprise, jerking back. Then he glared. "I hate the advantage you get when you're dreaming."
Sora blinked. Reality seeped into the surroundings- they were still standing on the bottom of the ocean, but the water was light as air, fish drifted past them, transparent and oblivious like small multi-colored ghosts.
"Roxas." Sora blinked again.
"Yeah," the blond said cattily.
"Well don't get like that- I'm unconscious. I'm not supposed to know what's going on."
Roxas sighed deeply and crossed his arms over his chest- over his black, leather-clad chest.
Sora reached out and poked him- at which Roxas twitched, made an annoyed sound. Sora gave him slightly wide eyes, tugged at one of the silver tassels.
"Did you fight with Riku again?"
Roxas opened his mouth- then froze, and an evil smile crept across his face. Sora barely refrained from cringing.
"No... but that's one hell of an idea."
Sora reached out to grab him and missed as his Other faded into the shadows around them.
Sora might have worried- but suddenly he was a fish again.
The blue fish never made any sense, but he understood her perfectly.
Roxas walked into a dream of a cheerfully grungy and shadowy nightclub.
A rather large gorilla in a tuxedo jacket and no pants grimaced down at him.
"...Nice monkey-suit," he said.
"Wise-ass," the gorilla rumbled.
Roxas smirked to himself and walked further in, looking around. Was this based on some real world, or had Riku's odd and sometimes inane mind crafted it of whole cloth? There was a large stage at the far end of the vast room, a bar off to his left, and to his right, pool and poker tables.
Roxas looked at the act on stage- and blinked. Was that Donald?
Sora's traveling companion sat at a black grand piano, playing furiously and trading insults with a black duck at a white piano. Dozens of people sat at the little tables, watching the two Duel- until Donald abruptly pulled out his staff and zapped the other duck with a Thunder spell.
Roxas shook his head. Riku's dreams were odd.
"Would you care for a game, young man?"
The blond whirled, drawing a Keyblade- much to the alarm of the dealer... who did resemble Luxord more than a little bit.
If you ignored the outfit. Roxas gaped at the vest and white dress shirt... and green sun visor, and choked back a laugh. Okay... maybe Riku's dreams were odd, but at least they were entertaining.
"No thanks," he managed. Roxas dispelled Oblivion and walked away, looking around. A woman with a wooden tray slung around her neck passed him with a smile- looked oddly like she belonged in the Timeless River, except it was a woman and not some form of bipedal animal like the people from Disney Castle. Roxas shook his head in exasperation- noticed what appeared to be Xigbar and Xaldin standing around one pool table using Xaldin's spears as cues and- he really didn't want to know what those were rolling about the table.
The blond moved resolutely towards the far wall- he thought he'd seen a silver-haired figure at one table... no... that man had a tail. Unfortunately the being turned towards him, a look of interest on his delicate face.
"This is ridiculous," Roxas muttered. He closed his eyes and stretched out a hand. Riku. I'm looking for Riku. He ignored the slim-fingered hand ruffling through the feathery spikes at the very top of his head and concentrated.
The dreamscape shifted around him and he opened his eyes. He was in another part of the club- the stage and bar had disappeared, replaced by pool tables... as far as the eye could see.
"Hullo there!"
Roxas blinked and looked down. "...Your Majesty?"
The mouse wore short red pants and yellow shoes and held a pool cue twice as tall as he was.
"Mickey's the name," the mouse said cheerfully, pointing a poofy, white gloved thumb at himself.
"Uh... yeah." Roxas muttered. "Where's Riku?"
Mickey chuckled and pointed.
Roxas looked up- and sure enough, Riku was standing just five tables away, arguing with a bald man in glasses.
"The cheese stands alone, damnit!" he shouted.
"Thanks," Roxas muttered to his diminutive helper. Mickey saluted and went back to his own game. The billiard balls appeared to be normal, but Mickey took aim and shot- and the cue ball whooped with delight as it flew across the velvet and knocked into ball 13. Upon impact, the balls grunted, then squealed as they rolled in different directions.
And I thought Sora's dreams were bad, Roxas mused. He hastened over to Riku in time to watch the bald man smile widely as he lifted a lone square of yellow from the white plate on Riku's table and carefully lay it with four other cheesy slices.
Riku glared and lifted his pool cue threateningly. The man was unperturbed, and simply stood there, grinning.
"Will you explain it to him?" Riku demanded, turning and looking at Roxas.
"The cheese stands alone," Roxas agreed, pulling the Kingdom Key and vanquishing the Cheese Man.
Riku nodded. "That'll show him." Then he looked at Roxas again. "What do you want?"
Roxas smiled. Finally- finally normalcy. He knew just how to turn this dream in the right direction.
Number XIII reached back and pulled his hood over his head. "I wanna fight. Ready?"
He pulled Oblivion from nothingness, swinging overhand-
Riku brought his pool cue up to block- and it turned into his Souleater.
Suddenly the taller boy was wearing an Organization cloak and a blindfold.
Roxas smiled.
This would be fun.
The book sat in front of her, blank and accusing.
She'd wanted to be alone with her thoughts- so Kairi left her alone, had said there were errands she wanted to run. She'd lingered at the kitchen door, asking if Naminé was sure she'd be okay?
Naminé had managed a smile for her, shooed her Other away.
She had wanted this.
She sat in the dream-formed version of Kairi's home, breathing deeply of the clove-and-paopu scented candles Kairi's mother really did scatter about the room. She wasn't sure whether it was her own memory or Kairi's that had added in the scent.
She didn't think it mattered.
It was quiet. No bugs chirping, no birds singing. She was utterly alone.
The way she wanted it.
Alone... staring at the sketchpad.
Because being alone always seemed to involve a sketchpad.
It was there because something- some part of her- wanted it there. She knew that- she understood that about herself.
When there's something that you want to remember, draw.
When there's something you don't quite understand, draw.
When you want to escape and be somewhere better...
She sat, staring, tears collecting in her eyes and the back of her throat- and never noticed as the walls bleached- the seat beneath her turned from one of the high-backed kitchen chairs to white magic-conjured marble. The wood grain in the table was swallowed by white threads which became a tablecloth. The scent around her gained a floral quality and she shivered.
"Oh, poor precious."
Her breath caught, and it sounded like a sob. Naminé sat up straight in the chair, as if she'd been struck.
The purr continued, something like sympathy, and something like a tiger catching the scent of blood.
"He's left you yet again, but this time it means more. This time you really felt it."
His hair smelled of flowers as he approached, then leaned forward- breath moving hot over her ear.
"This time, he hasn't forgiven you."
She shook her head, unable to manage words. She didn't agree with him- she- froze as gloved fingers brushed her cheek, then rested lightly on her upper arm.
"Our little XIII can be caged, perhaps- and take food peaceably from his captor's hand. But you were foolish to remove the cage and think he had been tamed."
Naminé leaned away from the hand, perching on the edge of the seat. "He's not."
"Hmm?" the hand followed her, briefly catching a lock of hair and tugging gently- possessively.
She turned her head, pulling away and looking over her shoulder at the leather-clad hips and abdomen. Naminé didn't want to look any higher- didn't want to see his face....
"He's not your XIII. There is no Organization anymore."
"Isn't there?" He laughed. "I wonder, precious." He stepped forward and leaned against the table. She still refused to look at him.
Naminé tightened her jaw. She wasn't afraid of him- not now when there was no reason for it. She had to remember that. "Roxas doesn't have to be the Key of Destiny anymore... not if he doesn't want to, and I'm not your precious."
"Hmm." He covered her hand with his own and lifted it. She pulled her hand away- he tightened his grip, not releasing her. "Where is the line drawn between memory and reality, Naminé? You know better than any.
"Is there a difference for us?"
Naminé raised her face slowly to meet Marluxia's cornflower eyes.
"The difference is- I'm alive. You're dead," at the last word he flinched, and she jerked her hand out of his.
She stood and the table- the chair- the Nobody, all faded into white as she left the dream-crafted room.
Naminé opened a door in the Light and walked outside.
Ocean breezes greeted her. She squinted at the reflection of light on water and shaded her eyes, sighing. Seagulls called as she entered the Play Island in Kairi's heart. She felt a little better for the confrontation, and yet, a little worse. Roxas hadn't forgiven her- not as quickly or easily as Sora had. She didn't know how to fix this.
Naminé shook her head sadly and tilted her face upward- letting the midday sun dry her tears.
She had come looking for him. Roxas felt her presence ripple through his dreamscape and opened his eyes.
His voice was tired, harsh, as he started to turn, "What do you want Nami-"
That wasn't Naminé.
"-Kairi?"
Her mind was rooted a little more in reality while dreaming than Sora normally was- she was good at that- so she stood there in a sleeveless nightgown with fuzzy little paopu fruits on it. She looked so absurd in the vast dark of nothing. Utterly out of place- the very picture of normality.
It was such a lie. She was a Princess of Heart, in dreams or out of them, and the magic in every fiber of her being turned heads whether those looking understood what they saw or not. That was outside dreams. Within them she burned. Her life- her depth of emotion. It hurt to be near her sometimes, she was so bright.
She banished shadows.
"Hi, Roxas," she said, and smiled a little.
He could remember the first time he'd met her- that strange connection that reminded him of Naminé, but wasn't exactly... the same.
Close enough. Close enough to like her before he'd known the difference between her and Naminé.
He glared at her but didn't really feel it. "Kairi," he nodded.
Her bare foot tapped on the featureless black ground and she laced her fingers together in front of her, pausing.
"So... this is a really... interesting dream."
Roxas gave her a Look, then pointedly turned, taking in the lack of scenery, people, objects, anything at all but a black sky and ground beneath their feet. He'd used to retreat into a Corridor when he was trying to think, removing all distraction as he pursued whatever concept eluded him at the time.
In the past, most of those stretches of contemplation had involved Sora. Right now it had begun with Naminé, moved on to Sora, and currently encompassed a number of people.
He wasn't any closer to a solution.
In the past, he would remain hidden within the realm of Darkness until he got what he wanted- or until one of the Organization came around to fetch him back to the World that Never Was.
The Organization was no more, and people still interrupted him. But... Kairi didn’t outrank him.
He finished scanning the area around them and faced Kairi again. "I was actually in the middle of something," he told her. "If you could get lost, so I can get on with it, that would be really great."
Kairi sighed and let her hands fall to her sides.
"Has anyone ever told you you're a pissy little bitch?" she asked, utterly serious.
Roxas barked a laugh before turning away from her. "Yeah. Axel used to do it all the time."
Kairi looked sympathetic for an instant before grimacing and padding across the ground to stand next to him- suddenly she was wearing fuzzy yellow house slippers.
"So what do you want?" he asked again, not looking at her.
"I want you to figure out the real reason you're angry and deal with it. You're upsetting Naminé for no reason."
That’s what he had been doing, or trying to do, before Kairi had barged in. But since she brought it up... "Naminé? Or do you mean you?"
"Other than getting me mad at you for making her sad, you're not doing anything to me," Kairi said wryly.
"But she is you, right? So any time she's upset, so are you," he sneered at her.
Kairi paused, giving him a searching look- hands on her hips. "Is that what you're angry about? You feel Sora's emotions?"
Roxas glared. She refused to react the right way. "Naminé messed with my head, just like she messed with Sora's head- why are you defending her? She made him forget you-"
"She told me what she did. I forgave her."
"Why? Because you don't want to be angry at yourself-"
"Because she feels guilty about it," Kairi said, overriding him. "She was sorry- she wanted forgiveness and she told me everything that happened- she let me see it."
It occurred to him how nice it would have been to just believe her. He could let Kairi convince him- give him reasons to forgive Naminé and forget what had happened. He wouldn’t. He was angry- he couldn't stop feeling angry now that he was- he simply felt angry about different things. Since he'd joined with Sora he'd felt emotion, real emotion- he'd been using the experiences from Twilight Town to help him regulate his feelings but- they weren't real.
He refused to make use of a lie- a crutch Naminé had provided to keep him blind to reality. He wasn't going to try and calm down- he didn't want to change the anger into something 'nicer'. He was determined to be angry until he no longer had a reason.
He didn't think that was going to happen any time soon.
"How d'you know she wasn't keeping things from you?” he said softly. “That's what she does, Kairi-"
"When it really mattered, Naminé stopped what she was doing to Sora," she continued, ignoring Roxas' comment. "Then, once Marluxia was gone, she went and did everything she could to fix his head." Her voice was kind- utterly calm, willing him to understand.
But he was still angry.
"Yeah," Roxas said with terrible calmness. "She fixed him by fucking with me." Then he walked past Kairi, jostling her a bit with his shoulder.
Kairi stayed there for a moment, collecting herself so she wouldn't start yelling at him. He had a point- she knew he had a point- but she also had a point!
"Don't try to tell me I shouldn't be angry-" he said, spinning on his heel and coming back up to her. "I'm a Nobody- yeah- 'life sucks and then you fade', all that shit. Naminé messed with the one thing We have- the one thing the darkness didn't take away from us. She knew what she was doing, and she did it anyway."
Kairi turned to face him, her sympathy visible now. He winced and mentally drew back from her- he didn't want it- Roxas knew the compassion was genuine and the only way to keep her from affecting him was to ignore it.
"I'm not," Kairi said quietly. "You do have the right to be angry... but don't be angry at her," she pleaded. "Roxas, she wanted to help Sora. She didn't want to hurt your feelings-"
"She didn't have to worry about that," he sing-songed- now he could get some of the anger back- anger was better than being upset- you could do more with it.
"You have feelings now! I heard you on the beach- you said you were angry that she made you think you were Somebody. Well she didn't do that to hurt you. It's stupid to blame somebody for a mistake they made out of kindness. Or- fine- do blame her- but then get over it and forgive her. It's not her fault that-"
"That I was in DiZ's program? Yeah, you're actually right about that. That was Riku's fault."
Kairi slapped a hand to her face and asked for patience.
"Fine! Blame Riku for getting you and taking you to DiZ. Then blame Naminé again for giving Riku a reason to need you to restore Sora's memory, then blame the Organization for coming up with Castle Oblivion in the first place, or blame Sora for falling into their trap," she was poking him in the chest by this time.
"While you're at it, blame Sora for creating you in the first place, and blame me, because he did it to save my life. Blame both of us for creating you and Naminé and blame Ans-Xehanort for taking Riku over and giving Sora the key to do it.
"I don't care! Sometimes. Things. Happen. You can be pissed off about it, you can be angry for as long as you want- or you can let it go and be happier in life," she stopped, taking a deep breath, and looked at him.
Roxas stared at her, a bit stunned, and said nothing.
"Have fun figuring out which you want to do," she murmured. "I'm leaving," which she did, turning around and striding off into the shadows.
Roxas watched the place she’d disappeared for a long while, thinking again- in new directions.
When his thoughts drifted over Kairi, without knowing he was doing it, Roxas smiled faintly.
Kairi stalked right out of Sora's heart and latched onto Riku's. It was easy to find Sora- she'd been able to do it ever since their first quest and she'd spent months riding around in the warm, turbulent sanctuary just beneath his left breast. Months after her boys had returned to her- plus one- she'd reached out to Sora, found him- and found a corridor of love and strength reaching away from him- away from her- that came to an end in the center of Riku's heart.
Riku been surprised to see her there, certainly, but after repetition (and the useful fact that Riku hadn't been good at remembering his dreams then), he'd gotten used to her infrequent visits.
She still wasn't used to his dreams.
The sex dreams she knew to turn around and run from- there were some things about her silver-haired friend that neither of them wanted her to know. She'd blushed for days after the first and only time she'd walked in on him and some faceless redhead that might or might not have been her (he loved her, she knew, and he was a guy- what more explanation did you need?), and decided it was better for her own dignity- and certainly his, if she just turned around and walked away when she heard the moaning.
There was no moaning this time- instead, one of Riku's 'weird' dreams.
He was wearing a fluffy purple bunny suit, trying to make balloon animals for a host of squalling five-year-olds who looked suspiciously like their old enemies.
Kairi looked up- further up than usual- at him, and realized she too had been reduced to a younger version of herself. She blinked- and caught her breath. The little dress was white, sleeveless, with pink embroidery her Grandmother had applied with her own two hands. She halted that line of thought before she got caught up in Riku's dream-version of herself.
She wasn’t five years old. She wasn’t. She was sixteen years old, much taller than this, and fully capable of kicking some heartless ass. Kairi opened her eyes again and saw the carpeted floor was much farther away
Just in time too, as the other kiddies had taken notice and a few were converging on her.
It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Some of the tiny Organization was calm- even cute. A thin-faced boy with blue hair and an ‘x’ shaped scar on his forehead clung to her leg and said very seriously that she was now his captive. She patted him on the head.
“Of course, I am,” she assured him, and made her way into the room. His expression didn’t change, but as he continued to cling- forcing Kairi to drag that leg instead of lifting it- he seemed appeased.
A little blond with a toy guitar smiled from an overstuffed chair and waved as she passed him.
“I’m taking requests!” he sang out.
“Play whatever you like best, Demyx,” she said, and smiled as she kept moving.
She liked children. The smaller they were, the easier it was to make them happy... not that Riku saw it that way. At least- not in this dream, given that he was now shouting that the oddly shaped white balloon thing was a poodle, damnit, and he didn't give a shit what pint-sized Ans-Xehanort thought.
"Okay everybody, cake and ice cream in the backyard!" she announced brightly.
There was, abruptly, a door in the nearest wall- and outside it a grass-covered yard with picnic tables and, as promised, cake and ice cream. Riku gaped at her appearance- having failed to notice her before then- and then looked pathetically grateful for the intervention.
The children- most of them, anyway, ran for the door. Itty-bitty Jafar ran because miniature Hades had just lit his robes on fire, but they point was, they left. Some didn’t want to go. A little Organization boy with dark hair falling sloppily over his face was quite happy with the chemistry set in front of him- thank you- and his blond-haired companion tried to hit Kairi in the leg with his shield when she reached for them.
A larger boy reading a comic book sighed and grabbed the both of them by their collars, pulling them outside.
Kairi didn’t know that one, but she liked him.
Saix continued to cling, but frowned faintly. “I’m supposed to guard you,” he muttered, casting a covetous look at the backyard. A little blond girl in Organization garb made a show of eating her ice cream, blue eyes glittering at him.
That decided the little diviner and he ran off.
“I’ll turn into a dragon and eat you up!”
Kairi turned, hid a smirk at the little sorceress clinging to Riku’s arm.
“Oh, I’m shaking in my fluffy purple boots,” Riku answered. She gave an almighty tug on his hand- and came off with a bunny glove. Riku laughed at her outraged growl and slammed the door- shutting them all outside.
Kairi grinned at him “Hi Riku.”
“Kairi, I could kiss you.”
She chuckled, then grunted softly as a small body collided with her leg. She looked down and saw her Other.
Riku grinned at the little Naminé, then glanced around the room, taking in the sight of a baby-sized Sora- sleeping with his thumb in his mouth, and an equally small Roxas in full mini-Organization garb sitting in the 'time out' corner. His arms were crossed and he looked- much, much cuter than he should have, pouting there.
“Nice and quiet now,” he murmured.
“Not once they’ve finished dessert,” Kairi grinned.
Riku made a face and sighed.
"Riku?" she asked, scooping up Naminé and placing the little blond on her hip, "can you do me a favor?"
"After getting me out of that shit?" he said, pointing at the little Maleficent, hovering outside the window and sternly knocking on the glass, "Name it and I'll do it."
Kairi smiled down at her Other.
"Naminé needs some cheering up," and handed the little girl to Riku, who gave him a solemn-eyed look before snuggling into his fuzzy purple chest. He supported her with one arm, smiling gently.
Kairi took his free hand in hers and opened another door-
Naminé blinked and looked up- something felt different, and it wasn’t that she’d been sitting in moonlight that was now abruptly daytime over the Play Island.
Rather... it wasn’t only that.
"Naminé!"
She whipped her head around to watch Riku galloping across the sand- toy sword almost too big for his six-year-old body, smile wide enough to crack his face. She smiled back, stood, and gasped as she realized she was only as big as he was.
"What-"
"C'mon, let's go!" and Riku grabbed her hand in his, pulling her along. "Have you seen the Secret Place yet? I wanna show you before Sora-"
She looked back and saw her Other- small and smiling, adorable, just like the boys had been at the same age- waving goodbye.
"Have fun!" Kairi called after them.
Roxas stood in the dim light, his sneaker-clad feet leaving tread marks in the dust of the attic- he'd been up here before, seen it through Sora's eyes and through his memories.
He wasn’t any closer to a solution for his anger than he had been after arguing with Kairi- but he wanted... he wanted to remember.
A little boy- eight years old- reading books that used to belong to his father- paging through photo albums and laughing at the funny outfits his relatives used to wear.
He made dream-logic work for him and reached up high- he was only eight years old in this dream- and tugged at the spine of one photo album until it fell from the shelf and nearly knocked him on the head.
He looked at it- a smile stretching across his little face. It's his. Hidden among Sora's long-gone relations and Sora's baby photos, his memories.
Roxas sat back on his heels and laid the album open in the dust. The first pages are Twilight Town- awakening, search, discovery. He remembered, distantly, searching the town for... something. Anything. Some kind of answer to questions he didn't yet know to ask.
He didn't know what he was- who he was- he only knew he needed something.
Then something found him.
A tall figure in black stood at the end of an alleyway- watching him. It approached and he waited- unafraid... unaware of fear.
"We have been searching for you, Number Thirteen," it said in a deep, melodic- almost hypnotic voice.
"-He always sounded that creepy?"
Roxas flinched and snapped the album shut, whipping his head around to look at Sora- also eight years old- kneeling beside him on the dusty floor.
"Found you," the little brunette said brightly.
Roxas calmed slowly, and half-glared. "Yeah? So un-find me now. I wanna be alone."
"Can't," Sora said cheerfully. "We share a heart, remember?" He got up and went to the bookcase, threw a devil-may-care grin over his shoulder and gripped as far up on the case as he could before putting a small foot on one of the lower shelves. Roxas bit back an admonition to be careful.
Sora climbed- in dream space, the bookcase was impossibly tall, until he had easy access to one of the higher shelves. Bracing himself with one hand- he pulled out a large photo album.
"Look out below!" and pulled it off the shelf.
Roxas dodged and it hit the floor with an almighty thunk.
Sora climbed down a few shelves, then jumped and landed on his feet just beside the book. He opened it the wrong way and hurriedly turned pages, grinning all the while.
Despite himself, Roxas moved to look- his own, smaller, album tucked under one arm.
Eventually Sora found the page he wanted and pointed triumphantly to a picture of himself with a sharp rock in hand, scoring lines deliberately into the surface of a rock-wall.
He wanted to share a paopu with Kairi... not that he would admit it. But... he did. So he kind of would.
His smile was lazy as the new drawing took shape- his outstretched hand, and in it, a star-shaped fruit. It closed in on Kairi's mouth, close enough that if she bit down, she could eat some.
"This world has been connected," a voice echoed.
Sora cried out in surprise, jumping up and hiding the carving by standing in front of it.
"See? Creepy."
Roxas squashed the smile that had been creeping onto his face. "Yeah? So?"
"So what else you got in there?" Sora asked, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the album.
The little blond leaned away, hiding the book behind his back. "They're mine. If you see them, they'll be yours and not mine anymore."
Sora made a rude noise and grinned. "Nuh-uh." He poked his memory of the paopu carving. "This is still mine. I made it, and I kept it. That doesn't mean you can't share it with me."
Roxas' eyes tightened- stubborn and unsure.
His Other sighed and flopped onto his stomach on the floor, turning a few more pages. He smoothed one down and his hand caught on a photo- with five corners. Sora blinked, tilted his head and tugged the odd corner out- producing a loose photograph.
The back of a spiky brown head was obviously Sora, but the woman with hair the color of sunlight and cruelly glittering blue eyes was unfamiliar, even as her black coat screamed Organization XIII.
"Larxene," Roxas murmured, drawn in once again.
"...Larxene," Sora repeated- drawing the name over his tongue. It tasted like lightning.
"But you're still forgetting something, aren't you, Sora? The most important thing. When that poor girl hears you've forgotten her name, she'll be heartbroken," she taunted, smirking.
His friend- lost so long ago. How dare she be the one to return that memory? She had no right-
"Naminé," Sora murmured, looking thoughtfully at the picture.
Roxas reached for the picture and Sora let him have it, his little face screwed up in thought.
"It's from Castle Oblivion," Roxas murmured, holding it in both hands. His own album had been set to one side.
Sora began turning pages, not seeming to actually look at the pictures- then abruptly he stopped and snagged another stray photo.
Donald stood there with a curious expression on his face- his beak was open and he was talking to a small blond girl with pale eyes.
"Can you fix our memories?" he asked.
Naminé bobbed her head once. "Yes. Just because you can't remember something doesn't mean it's gone."
Sora stood beside Goofy, who scratched his head and looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Remembering one thing leads to remembering another, and then another..." she said, touching one finger to another, and then another, illustrating her point. "Your memories are connected, like links in a chain. Those same chains are what anchor us all together. I don't destroy memories," she said, laying a hand on her chest. "I just take apart the links and rearrange them. You still have all your memories."
"They're still here," Roxas whispered.
Sora looked at him- at the sixteen-year-old Roxas he saw in dreams. He knew he had changed as well.
Roxas stared at the album in what looked like reverence- touched one of the soft burgundy pages covered in photographs.
Sora looked thoughtfully at him, then at the newly remembered scene from a place he barely recalled having visited.
"Why is it so important to you?" Sora asked, offering the photograph of Donald and Naminé to his Other.
"I..." he took it and fell silent, looking at the pictures. “It’s not important to you? You went into Castle Oblivion. Things happened there that you can’t remember.”
Sora turned to lay on his side, bent his arm upward and braced his head in his hand. “All kinds of things happened in my life that I don’t remember anymore.”
“But those things weren’t important,” Roxas insisted. “You don’t forget important things unless someone makes you forget them.”
Sora smirked. “Is that why the one guy from the Organization kept his orders on cards?”
Roxas gave him a half-strength version of his usual death glare. “I’m being serious.”
He shrugged. “Okay, why is it important that I remember what happened in Castle Oblivion? I got the overview from Riku later- Donald, Goofy and I took on part of the Organization and won. Sounds good- do I need to know more?”
He only felt more annoyed at his Other’s flippant attitude. “You fought Ursula and Jafar and Hades during the whole Xehanort’s Heartless thing, right?” Roxas asked.
“Yeah.”
“So you’d be okay with just erasing those memories- forgetting about them, because you ended up winning the battles? You’d be fine if you lost the memories as if they’d never happened at all?”
Sora grimaced.
“Then you see my point,” Roxas said, heavily sarcastic. “Everything you do helps make who you are. Everything you go through makes a difference- so if you don’t have everything...”
Sora tapped his fingers on the attic floor. “But if you like who you are,” he said thoughtfully, “does it matter?”
Roxas went utterly still- didn’t answer Sora, and didn’t quite look at him when his Other glanced up.
“Besides,” Sora continued, oblivious to Roxas’ discomfort, “it’s not what you go through- it’s how you deal with what you go through that makes you who you are.”
“...But what if you were better?” he murmured, looking at the photographs.
“What if you were worse?” Sora returned.
Sora was... right, he realized. But he still wanted to know.
Roxas set the pictures carefully on the floor and opened his small, black album. He felt in a similar fashion around the edges of his own photos- drew out a loose picture.
A tall Nobody with an eye-patch and black-and-white streaked hair pulled into a tail stood in an open door.
"Hey 'chosen one'," Xigbar called, snidely- and made an amused-sounding noise at Roxas' glare. "You've got Heartless to be killing."
"...What if I don't feel like it?"
A grunt. "Orders, kid. You have a problem- talk to the Superior."
Darkness spiraled up around Roxas' feet. Seconds later he was standing before the First, seated behind a desk and giving orders to a slightly bored-looking Marluxia. They both turned to look at him.
"Xemnas," Number XIII began, approaching the desk, "what's the point of the Heartless slaughter? What's the connection between-"
Roxas pressed the photograph between his hands, hiding the rest.
Sora blinked. "Hey! C'mon- there's gotta be more to it than that!"
"No," Roxas murmured. It wasn't an answer to Sora's question. It was refusal. He wasn't going to let his Other see what came next.
"...Why not?"
Silence.
Sora reached for the album and a hand caught his wrist- gripping like a vice.
"Sora," Roxas said firmly, fixing him with narrowed blue eyes. "No."
"What are you afraid to let me see?" he asked, almost whispering.
Then, abruptly, Roxas was gone- album and loose photo with him.
Sora sighed. He picked up the two stray memories from Castle Oblivion and looked at them, curious, considering... then tucked them into a pocket of the inside cover on his album.
Then he left as well.
Roxas strode through the darkness, book clutched tightly under his arm.
What are you afraid to let me see?
He slowed, looked down as he stopped walking. The photo still in his hand- continued.
"-What's the connection between the Keyblade and your goals?"
The Superior gazed at him calmly. Marluxia, ignored for the moment, gazed slyly at the Superior- waiting for Xemnas' reaction.
"It is not your place to ask such a question, number XIII."
"Since it's my Keyblade, I think it's my question, if it's anybody's."
"Ah- but it is not, in fact, your Keyblade. One might say you've... inherited it. The only way to keep it is in the completion of Kingdom Hearts."
"So? How does killing the Heartless help?"
"Does it matter? Does the why of a method matter, so long as it is so?"
"Well, maybe if I knew how it worked- I could make it work faster."
"Impertinence does not become you, number XIII."
Roxas didn't ignore Xemnas' slow rise from his chair- nor the smirk that graced Marluxia's lips. He didn't back down either.
"I want my heart back just as much as everyone else," he said, backing up a few steps as Xemnas came around the desk. "But I'd like to know what's going on. Since no one will tell me-"
"Because you have no need to know."
Roxas opened his mouth again- then Xemnas had him two feet off the ground- one hand grasping his neck, the other clasped around his Keyblade hand- rendering it immobile, and therefore useless.
"Why is this such a problem?" Roxas forced out. "What are you hiding from me?"
Xemnas raised one eyebrow- his lips parted....
Roxas strode through the illusion, ignoring the memory, refusing to watch the subsequent fight and his lengthy and immensely painful defeat. Anger burned in his chest, anger and something... stronger.
He left by the exit in the center of the far wall, kicking open the double doors- and heard a shout.
Roxas flinched, whirled, and Oblivion caught on the spokes of Axel's chakram. He froze- eyes widening at the Flurry of Dancing Flames- as whole and healthy as he had ever been in existence.
"What?" Axel asked, smirking. "You had me Memorized, didn't 'ya?"
"That's so unfair."
"What?" Kairi laughed.
"They're so cute at that age!" Sora complained, pointing at little Riku and little Naminé, making a sandcastle.
"So are we!" Kairi comforted, nudging him with her shoulder.
Sora kicked his feet above the ground. He and Kairi were sitting on the bridge to Riku's island, watching their small friends play further down the beach.
"So... what's going on?"
Kairi tilted her head at Sora, blinking. Then she grinned.
"You're clueless," she teased.
He pouted. "That's why I asked!"
"You don't know what's going on-" Kairi sing-songed.
Sora pouted more and crossed his arms over his chest, sulking.
"Roxas didn't tell you anything?"
"Nooooooooooooo," he said, tone growing more snotty and sarcastic as he drew out the word.
Kairi sighed and flopped back- laying on the bridge now. "Naminé hurt Roxas' feelings by accident, and Roxas got upset. So they're both upset now, and I went and told Roxas he was mean- and then I came over to get Riku to play with Naminé so she'd feel better."
"What's Roxas upset about?" Sora asked, wide-eyed.
"...He really hasn't told you?" Kairi asked, surprised.
Sora scoffed, sulked again. "He doesn't tell me anything. But he was talking about forgetting memories and stuff."
"Huh. Naminé tells me everything."
"Like what?"
Kairi shook her head, sat back up. "That's her business, if she wants to tell you or not- but... stuff like when she lived with the Organization. Stuff that happened in Castle Oblivion. Stuff that she and Riku did while you were asleep."
"I've asked Roxas questions before," Sora complained, abruptly sixteen years old again- looking very tall beside child-sized Kairi. "He usually gives me a non-answer or leaves."
"...Maybe he just needs some more time," Kairi said, sounding very adult, yet still wearing the five-year-old body. "Ya know- being part of you, living here on the Islands... feeling- it's gotta be really different for him. He's probably still adjusting. Maybe- he'll tell you stuff when he knows you better?"
"I hope so," Sora murmured.
Kairi flopped against his side- and Sora grinned as he put an arm around her little shoulders.
~~~
Part 2