SL, Relationship and Time Dilation

[vannesh]

We all know the drill:  a person gets involved in SL with another person, says they found "the love of my life," spend a couple blissful weeks together in the virtual world, have a gala wedding -- and less than two weeks later, uncouple, unfriend, and talk about how "wrong they were about the other person

Comments

Another aspect of time dilation

[paypabakwriter]

Vanni, you know me in SL very well, and I am sure you will be able to see from where I am coming with this comment. I agree with your assessment.

I would add that another element of the time dilation is amount of time spent in SL between two avatars can vary and can take a toll on the relationship--that's what you mean, I suppose, by "time, diligence, and sacrifice" in making relationships work.

It's the core of the difference between augmentarians and immersionists as well. If SL is an augmentation, then like FB and other channels, it's not essential to the relationship to show up regularly. If it's immersion, it's essential. I would suggest that the reason so many SL relationships wear out is that this distinction is overlooked. The immersionist hangs on, while the augmentarian is unaware of anything being out of sorts. I would be willing to bet that in this type of relationship, the immersionist is the one to say Enough is Enough, hurt far more than the augmentarian--at least until that moment and then they shrug and move on.

[mandy_galileo]

Great post, very spot on and agree with it entirely. It's amazing how little time people spend actually getting to know someone in SL. As a result, I spend 90% of my time in SL, when I manage to find the time to log into SL, with other long time avatars just hanging out. Frankly, it's the relationships where I've known people for years (in some cases even predating SL), that make SL so worthwhile. Even with time issues over the years, we've all put so much effort into maintaining the relationship that it's strong and can handle the absences on either side. But, it is funny the IMs i get sometimes. Even a cursory review of my profile will fill people in on my surface interests yet I still get IMs with proposals that demonstrate they couldn't even bother with doing that little effort and prefer to just dive in with a comment that presupposes a heck of a lot of work having already been done in creating a relationship. - oh well.

Great post

[schleyiii]

I believe you are quite correct in that there are those in SL who do as you suggest: They message someone they don’t know, are quite blunt about their desires, and disappear if they are rebuffed. I’ve run into a few of those myself. They don’t do their ‘homework’ by reading profiles or getting to know people or investing the time. I would suggest that they are a small minority and in the end ‘get what they deserve’ or at least get what they ‘pay for