Kitchen nightmare

[vanillafluffy]

I powered up my laptop and was glancing through the "news" stories on my default homepage, AOL, and I ran across this, with the title of "My Birthday Wish: A Kitchen Makeover" (One writer explains why all she wants for her 50th birthday is an updated kitchen, even if her friends think she's a bore

Comments

[adventurat]

I dunno... I kind of hate her kitchen, too. It doesn't look very functional, and it's the functional she's complaining most about.

I think you both deserve a kitchen makeover. And so do I. :)

[vanillafluffy]

Clearly, what we need is a telethon. Maybe on Mother's Day weekend on HGTV. Call it "Bitchin' 'Bout the Kitchen" and show clips of our disspirited digs. Get Tom Selleck to do the voiceovers and evoke all those maudlin PSAs:

"Poor Fluffy has never cooked in a modern kitchen. In her humble kitchen, there is insuffient prep space and the courter is lowly laminate. She has never known the joy of granite countertops. Her refrigerator does not dispense ice or water. She does not even have a dishwater. But you can help! For just pennies a day, you can give Fluffy a kitchen she can be proud of!"

Cut to clip of aproned Fluffy standing in her kitchen, looking pathetic. "I just want four burners and an ice-maker that works," she quavers.

"Call now!" Tom exhorts. "Operators are standing by!"
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[ang5fam]

You crack me up! It's funny because I am an avid HGTV fan- seeing these young folks say, "Those fixtures are outdated" and then seeing that they are MY fixtures! ha ha
"I MUST have granite countertops" is what many of them say. For years when the kids were little, I worked with one burner and no oven! No homemade cakes or cookies for years. If I wanted to make any kind of roast , I had to do it on the grill. Half of my kitchen cabinets are new and the other half are the 70's style- ran out of money.
My house is older than I- build in 1957. Our bathrooms are still the original tile. Funky colors but I love it.
It is definitely funny to hear others complain about what you and I would love to have!!

[vanillafluffy]

Uh-huh. My hall bath is seafoam green and peach (with yellow walls), and I have no problem with that. Someday, I want to wallpaper it---I have the paper, it's got a pattern of old-fashioned hand-tinted postcards and the colors go with the tile perfectly.

Granite? Heck, I'd be happy with any countertop that's less munged up than the one I've got. Corian---Corian would be great. Who am I kidding---newer Formica would be just fine! As my daddy used to say about cars, "They don't run on looks!"
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[pwcorgigirl]

I can't remember the last time I pulled the stove out to clean the cobwebs and wayward corn kernels.

I hope somebody commented to her that the above is a sit-on-your-ass problem, not a home makeover problem. *fumes*

[vanillafluffy]

Yeah, and she's grousing about ants and spiders? I'd love to see her have a close encounter with a three-inch long Florida cockroach. She'd have another mess to clean up!

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[pwcorgigirl]

See, if I had that kitchen (and there have been times in my life when I'd have killed for more than a foot of counter space), I'd take everything out of it, clean like crazy with bleach, get out a screwdriver and adjust the door hardware so that they close, and then repaint. If money allowed, I'd find a nice tall freestanding cabinet to go next to the fridge, possibly something that extends the counter space of that messy little nook on the far left. There's plenty of room to cook if she'd take stuff off the counter tops.

[vanillafluffy]

I've seen those same style doors repainted different ways, like a contrasting color in the middle with a border color in the recess, or cut out the center and back it with glass or fabric or chicken wire. The trouble is, this broad has no imagination.

That space beside the fridge bothers me, too. I'd bet that the dishwasher is under the counter there.

I'd have my microwave in that nook.
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[louisiane_fille]

Did you send her an email with a pic of your kitchen saying, "If anybody needs a kitchen makeover, it would be me."

[vanillafluffy]

Tempting. Although, what I need isn't so much a kitchen makeover as it is a LIFE makeover. Have Enough Already sort out my stuff, to go into the house that Extreme Home Makeover will build for me while I'm away being The Biggest Loser, after which Extreme Makeover will fix my teeth, give me LASIK and do some nipping and tucking so I don't look like a shar-pei.

Then I'll need a fast trip to New York to find out What Not to Wear, because I've been fat forever and the new and improved me is going to be able the size I was when I was 12 and *thought* I was fat.

Finally, The Bachelor, silver fox edition, winding up with My Fair Wedding.

Yeah, I know. I'm crazy.
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[ang5fam]

LMAO! You have great imagination and whimsy!!

[vanillafluffy]

And if I cou.d figure out how to make it pay, I'd be a zillionaire!

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[ang5fam]

While home sick this week, I caught quite a few eps of Cash and Cary- she really turns the old furniture into beautiful things. (or her furniture person does)

[vanillafluffy]

I have several pieces I'd like to rehab when my decluttering gets to the point where I can get at them.

Hey, Mike and Frank are picking on Staten Island this week (Sundeay night)! I can hardly wait to see that!
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[karaokegal]

KITCHEN RAEG!

I'd be happy with one that doesn't feel like its trying to kill me. Although honestly, the whole apartment is pretty malevolent, but the kitchen has the burners and knives and other ways to commit mayhem.

[vanillafluffy]

Have you tried smudging with sage? It couldn't hurt!

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[karaokegal]

And it would smell nice.