[drabble] Necromancy
Title: Necromancy (drabble)
Pairing: RyoKame (Nishikido Ryo x Kamenashi Kazuya) & one-sided KameUchi (Kamenashi Kazuya x Uchi Hiroki)
Rating: PG/PG-13
Summary: the lengths Ryo will go to to get a date from Kazuya.
Note: written for itsahello
--
Here's a drabble~~ it was written for itsahello :D because it's her birthday ('cause she's lucky and shares the same birthday with Ryo :DDD), so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE!!!! <3333 I hope you like this, it's a bit fluffy and probably not what you expected, but i hope you enjoy this nonetheless! :D i'm sorry, it didn't end up as love triangle as I wanted to ;___; kameuchiryo wouldn't co-operate with me, and lol, this fic ended up kinda fluffy, so I guess that's why. love triangles are most angsty XDD But I hope this fic makes you smile even though it's probably not what you expected ^___^
--
“And I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have a copy of…” Kamenashi Kazuya pauses, hoping he doesn’t sound too rude, “The Book of the Dead.” He finishes blandly, “Which you saw in a mummy movie.”
The customer is looking shocked, and dismayed, and Kazuya begins to rethink his earlier thoughts that this guy was really hot, because insane and stupid doesn’t equal hot, “But - but I want to know how to raise the dead!” he proclaims.
Kazuya grits his teeth and smiles politely, “Maybe you should try Ninomiya’s Specialty Books down the block. I hear they have some more…unique volumes.” He says brightly.
He doesn’t add that those volumes are mostly raunchy magazines. Kazuya got dragged in there once; the owner, Ninomiya Kazunari, likes to harass Kazuya on a daily basis and give him free nude magazines. Kazuya gives those away to the nearest homeless person. He figures there’s no harm in that; and really, he’s doing a good deed, because who’s going to sleep with a homeless person? Those magazines are the closest to another naked human body they’ll ever get without doing something illegal.
And hopefully, this guy will get distracted by the sheer nudity of the place and won’t come back again.
“Okay,” the guy agrees, grinning at Kazuya, and Kazuya almost feels bad because the smile looks so genuine, but then he quickly reminds himself that he has just spent half an hour trying to explain to the guy that Book of the Dead is not only imaginary, but will get probably get him arrested for doing unimaginable things to corpses in graveyards.
Raising the dead doesn’t look so good on the criminal record, Kazuya assumes.
Kazuya breathes a sigh of relief, and turns on his heel to find his friend.
“Hiroki!” he snaps, and his friend jumps to his feet, straightening his work uniform. The manga he’s been reading in the corner while Kazuya fends off necromancy guy falls to the floor.
Uchi Hiroki takes one look at Kazuya’s face and he offers a dazzling, repentant grin, “I’m sorry, Kazuya, but you see…um…Naomi was about to confess to Kenta?” he offers.
Kazuya feels like hitting his head against the nearest bookcase.
* * *
Necromancy guy comes back.
Only this time, he’s grinning as he saunters up to Kazuya and asks for ‘A Fraction of the Whole’; Kazuya warily asks where that book is from, because as far as he can tell, it doesn’t sound very un-dead-like. Necromancy guy shrugs and answers, “It’s about Australia. About a guy named Jasper.”
“Oh. Who wrote it?” Kazuya tries, astounded at how normal that sounds
“I don’t know,” Necromancy guy shrugs, “I don’t want to read it. I just want to know if you have it.”
Kazuya suddenly feels like banging his head against the bookshelf again.
Suddenly, Necromany guy smirks at Kazuya, “By the way, thank you so much for the recommendation the other day. I didn’t find the book I needed, but I did find some other interesting works.”
The urge to hit his head grows stronger.
“In fact, as thanks, I’ve decided to give one of those works I bought to you now that I’m done reading.”
Kazuya wants to jump off the building. He doesn’t care that the building is only one story high; he wants to jump and he wants to jump now.
He takes the offered bag, and he nearly dies on the spot when he realizes that Necromancy guy actually wrapped the books. He stares warily at him, and he grins, and Kazuya has to remind himself that this is Necromancy guy - who just also gave him wrapped porn.
“Hiroki!!” he wails dramatically as he storms into the back, knowing that Uchi will be reading there.
“Wha? What! I didn’t mean to get distracted; I mean, Kenta thought he had leukemia, Kazuya! It’s not my fault!” Uchi wails back.
“A customer gave me wrapped porn!” Kazuya says indignantly, glaring accusingly at Uchi.
Uchi’s eyes widen, and Kazuya watches as they go from panicked, to shocked, and then to angry, “What?!” and he promptly grabs the bag and throws it against the wall. It’s almost as if he expects it to blow up. Kazuya stares at it, and then stares at Uchi who grins.
“See, I’ve defeated it. You can’t say I don’t love you; don’t be mad at me for reading mangas while you were facing weirdo customers…again?”
Kazuya blinks, “Hiroki, this is exactly why I never agree to go out with you.”
Uchi pouts at the reminder, “But I defeated it. You’re still mad at me, aren’t you? I love you,” he wheedles, “I’ll take you out to dinner~” he says hopefully.
Kazuya hits him on the head, “No.”
* * *
The third time that Necromancy guy comes back, Kazuya is prepared. He has Uchi, under threat of not cooking him food anymore, promising that Uchi will come the moment Kazuya needs him. Of course, the younger man also offered dinner, movie and a good time, but Kazuya simply hit the younger man on the head. No offense against Uchi, but he’s known the man too long to consider it. And besides, it’s hard to be swept off your feet by someone who tears up over a romance manga.
“Yes, can I help you?” Kazuya turns with a sweet-as-rotten-sugar smile.
Necromany guy smirks, “I’d like a copy of Most Potente Potions.” He says.
Kazuya wants to bash his brain in.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry that book.” He says politely.
Because it’s from a made up world in a children’s book, he thinks to himself.
Necromancy guy looks aghast, “But I really need it!”
Kazuya doesn’t want to ask, but he looks into those black eyes that have suddenly turned all pathetic, and he can’t resist it, “Why?” he asks.
“I want to make a sex potion. Or turn myself into a cat. Whichever works.”
Kazuya regrets asking.
“We don’t carry that book, I’m sorry,” he tries again, and really tries to mean it this time. It doesn’t work.
“You don’t sound very sorry,” Necromancy guy accuses.
“I’m very sorry,” Kazuya says, and he quickly catches Uchi’s eye, and the younger man must really be trying to make it up to Kazuya, because he rushes right over, and says loudly, “Hey! Stop harassing my -”
Uchi stops and Kazuya hopes to all that is good that Uchi hasn’t been blinded by Necromancy guy’s sinfully good looks like he had been at the beginning, that wouldn’t bode well. Especially since Kazuya still has to remind himself that Necromany guy is insane and isn’t worth hitting on, because he doesn’t want to spend his dates calling up the dead in a graveyard or drinking potions that Necromany guy made up.
“RYO?!” Uchi blinks in surprise, and Kazuya blinks too.
“Damn it. Hiroki, you ruin everything.” Necromancy guy, apparently named Ryo, mutters.
Uchi looks between Kazuya and Ryo, and then he narrows his eyes, “You laughed at the title ‘Book of the Dead’ when we saw The Mummy, you know very well what kind of shop Nino runs, and most of all…” he takes a deep breath, “You saw the pictures of that staff party last month.” He accuses, “You’re not here for books.”
Ryo shrugs, and offers an unrepentant smile, “I saw something I liked in those pictures.” He says frankly. He waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Kazuya, “I’d check the porn if I were you.” He adds.
Kazuya splutters indignantly, and he spends the entire shift complaining with Uchi about his insane friend. Uchi doesn’t mind, and even joins in; he had to give up his daily reading of romance mangas to protect Kazuya from a psycho who wasn’t really a psycho.
They both agree that Nishikido Ryo is a menace, although Kazuya is probably the only one who still thinks he’s sinfully good looking. Damn his weakness for the dark and sexy look.
Damn Nishikido Ryo.
* * *
Damn Nishikido Ryo again, because Kazuya actually does end up gingerly picking up the bag of wrapped magazines Uchi had thrown at the wall, and he opens it warily. Amongst the pictures of nude people, a card tumbles out.
Nishikido Ryo, it says.
And a phone number written on the back.
“Damn you for being so hot, Nishikido Ryo.” Kazuya mutters as he picks up the phone, and he curses Nishikido again because he knows all this was a ploy to get his attention and then let him feel relieved when he realizes that Nishikido is sinfully hot and not insane.
He glares at the card in his hand.
Nishikido Ryo.
Ninomiya’s Specialty Books.
Floor manager.
He is so going to kill that guy. After he gets his date.
--- END ----
I hope that was good <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY (again) JACKIE!!! ♥♥
edit: who wants a sequel?
Pairing: RyoKame (Nishikido Ryo x Kamenashi Kazuya) & one-sided KameUchi (Kamenashi Kazuya x Uchi Hiroki)
Rating: PG/PG-13
Summary: the lengths Ryo will go to to get a date from Kazuya.
Note: written for itsahello
--
Here's a drabble~~ it was written for itsahello :D because it's her birthday ('cause she's lucky and shares the same birthday with Ryo :DDD), so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE!!!! <3333 I hope you like this, it's a bit fluffy and probably not what you expected, but i hope you enjoy this nonetheless! :D i'm sorry, it didn't end up as love triangle as I wanted to ;___; kameuchiryo wouldn't co-operate with me, and lol, this fic ended up kinda fluffy, so I guess that's why. love triangles are most angsty XDD But I hope this fic makes you smile even though it's probably not what you expected ^___^
--
“And I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have a copy of…” Kamenashi Kazuya pauses, hoping he doesn’t sound too rude, “The Book of the Dead.” He finishes blandly, “Which you saw in a mummy movie.”
The customer is looking shocked, and dismayed, and Kazuya begins to rethink his earlier thoughts that this guy was really hot, because insane and stupid doesn’t equal hot, “But - but I want to know how to raise the dead!” he proclaims.
Kazuya grits his teeth and smiles politely, “Maybe you should try Ninomiya’s Specialty Books down the block. I hear they have some more…unique volumes.” He says brightly.
He doesn’t add that those volumes are mostly raunchy magazines. Kazuya got dragged in there once; the owner, Ninomiya Kazunari, likes to harass Kazuya on a daily basis and give him free nude magazines. Kazuya gives those away to the nearest homeless person. He figures there’s no harm in that; and really, he’s doing a good deed, because who’s going to sleep with a homeless person? Those magazines are the closest to another naked human body they’ll ever get without doing something illegal.
And hopefully, this guy will get distracted by the sheer nudity of the place and won’t come back again.
“Okay,” the guy agrees, grinning at Kazuya, and Kazuya almost feels bad because the smile looks so genuine, but then he quickly reminds himself that he has just spent half an hour trying to explain to the guy that Book of the Dead is not only imaginary, but will get probably get him arrested for doing unimaginable things to corpses in graveyards.
Raising the dead doesn’t look so good on the criminal record, Kazuya assumes.
Kazuya breathes a sigh of relief, and turns on his heel to find his friend.
“Hiroki!” he snaps, and his friend jumps to his feet, straightening his work uniform. The manga he’s been reading in the corner while Kazuya fends off necromancy guy falls to the floor.
Uchi Hiroki takes one look at Kazuya’s face and he offers a dazzling, repentant grin, “I’m sorry, Kazuya, but you see…um…Naomi was about to confess to Kenta?” he offers.
Kazuya feels like hitting his head against the nearest bookcase.
* * *
Necromancy guy comes back.
Only this time, he’s grinning as he saunters up to Kazuya and asks for ‘A Fraction of the Whole’; Kazuya warily asks where that book is from, because as far as he can tell, it doesn’t sound very un-dead-like. Necromancy guy shrugs and answers, “It’s about Australia. About a guy named Jasper.”
“Oh. Who wrote it?” Kazuya tries, astounded at how normal that sounds
“I don’t know,” Necromancy guy shrugs, “I don’t want to read it. I just want to know if you have it.”
Kazuya suddenly feels like banging his head against the bookshelf again.
Suddenly, Necromany guy smirks at Kazuya, “By the way, thank you so much for the recommendation the other day. I didn’t find the book I needed, but I did find some other interesting works.”
The urge to hit his head grows stronger.
“In fact, as thanks, I’ve decided to give one of those works I bought to you now that I’m done reading.”
Kazuya wants to jump off the building. He doesn’t care that the building is only one story high; he wants to jump and he wants to jump now.
He takes the offered bag, and he nearly dies on the spot when he realizes that Necromancy guy actually wrapped the books. He stares warily at him, and he grins, and Kazuya has to remind himself that this is Necromancy guy - who just also gave him wrapped porn.
“Hiroki!!” he wails dramatically as he storms into the back, knowing that Uchi will be reading there.
“Wha? What! I didn’t mean to get distracted; I mean, Kenta thought he had leukemia, Kazuya! It’s not my fault!” Uchi wails back.
“A customer gave me wrapped porn!” Kazuya says indignantly, glaring accusingly at Uchi.
Uchi’s eyes widen, and Kazuya watches as they go from panicked, to shocked, and then to angry, “What?!” and he promptly grabs the bag and throws it against the wall. It’s almost as if he expects it to blow up. Kazuya stares at it, and then stares at Uchi who grins.
“See, I’ve defeated it. You can’t say I don’t love you; don’t be mad at me for reading mangas while you were facing weirdo customers…again?”
Kazuya blinks, “Hiroki, this is exactly why I never agree to go out with you.”
Uchi pouts at the reminder, “But I defeated it. You’re still mad at me, aren’t you? I love you,” he wheedles, “I’ll take you out to dinner~” he says hopefully.
Kazuya hits him on the head, “No.”
* * *
The third time that Necromancy guy comes back, Kazuya is prepared. He has Uchi, under threat of not cooking him food anymore, promising that Uchi will come the moment Kazuya needs him. Of course, the younger man also offered dinner, movie and a good time, but Kazuya simply hit the younger man on the head. No offense against Uchi, but he’s known the man too long to consider it. And besides, it’s hard to be swept off your feet by someone who tears up over a romance manga.
“Yes, can I help you?” Kazuya turns with a sweet-as-rotten-sugar smile.
Necromany guy smirks, “I’d like a copy of Most Potente Potions.” He says.
Kazuya wants to bash his brain in.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry that book.” He says politely.
Because it’s from a made up world in a children’s book, he thinks to himself.
Necromancy guy looks aghast, “But I really need it!”
Kazuya doesn’t want to ask, but he looks into those black eyes that have suddenly turned all pathetic, and he can’t resist it, “Why?” he asks.
“I want to make a sex potion. Or turn myself into a cat. Whichever works.”
Kazuya regrets asking.
“We don’t carry that book, I’m sorry,” he tries again, and really tries to mean it this time. It doesn’t work.
“You don’t sound very sorry,” Necromancy guy accuses.
“I’m very sorry,” Kazuya says, and he quickly catches Uchi’s eye, and the younger man must really be trying to make it up to Kazuya, because he rushes right over, and says loudly, “Hey! Stop harassing my -”
Uchi stops and Kazuya hopes to all that is good that Uchi hasn’t been blinded by Necromancy guy’s sinfully good looks like he had been at the beginning, that wouldn’t bode well. Especially since Kazuya still has to remind himself that Necromany guy is insane and isn’t worth hitting on, because he doesn’t want to spend his dates calling up the dead in a graveyard or drinking potions that Necromany guy made up.
“RYO?!” Uchi blinks in surprise, and Kazuya blinks too.
“Damn it. Hiroki, you ruin everything.” Necromancy guy, apparently named Ryo, mutters.
Uchi looks between Kazuya and Ryo, and then he narrows his eyes, “You laughed at the title ‘Book of the Dead’ when we saw The Mummy, you know very well what kind of shop Nino runs, and most of all…” he takes a deep breath, “You saw the pictures of that staff party last month.” He accuses, “You’re not here for books.”
Ryo shrugs, and offers an unrepentant smile, “I saw something I liked in those pictures.” He says frankly. He waggles his eyebrows suggestively at Kazuya, “I’d check the porn if I were you.” He adds.
Kazuya splutters indignantly, and he spends the entire shift complaining with Uchi about his insane friend. Uchi doesn’t mind, and even joins in; he had to give up his daily reading of romance mangas to protect Kazuya from a psycho who wasn’t really a psycho.
They both agree that Nishikido Ryo is a menace, although Kazuya is probably the only one who still thinks he’s sinfully good looking. Damn his weakness for the dark and sexy look.
Damn Nishikido Ryo.
* * *
Damn Nishikido Ryo again, because Kazuya actually does end up gingerly picking up the bag of wrapped magazines Uchi had thrown at the wall, and he opens it warily. Amongst the pictures of nude people, a card tumbles out.
Nishikido Ryo, it says.
And a phone number written on the back.
“Damn you for being so hot, Nishikido Ryo.” Kazuya mutters as he picks up the phone, and he curses Nishikido again because he knows all this was a ploy to get his attention and then let him feel relieved when he realizes that Nishikido is sinfully hot and not insane.
He glares at the card in his hand.
Nishikido Ryo.
Ninomiya’s Specialty Books.
Floor manager.
He is so going to kill that guy. After he gets his date.
--- END ----
I hope that was good <3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY (again) JACKIE!!! ♥♥
edit: who wants a sequel?