I only skimmed this, and would like to take more time to respond better, but... Like! Yes, treat yourself better and with more respect. You only get one you. And we love you, so all you need to do is know that, and see what we see!
Good for you, especially with the being nicer to yourself and eschewing negativity. It sounds like you know where you want to be, and what you want to be doing. I hope I can see you at some point to see the progression.
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