International Speaker Comes to Wayland

[valuesystem]

(Note, this is a draft of a general press release to a local paper to be read by the general public. Please help me improve the release to maximize attendance at the event.)

International Speaker Comes to WaylandSpeaker Nicole Foss will come to Wayland on Tuesday, September 14th, to explain the state of the economy. Foss, who recently completed

Comments

Thorough critique from Michael Evans

[anonymous]

I would change it to "Internationally." Without context, ponzi scheme structure of banking system might be offputting to those who still trust at least their local banks. Perhaps "unsustainable structure," or better yet maybe "risky structure." I don't know what it means to be an Oxford fellow, but do you think that might be more persuasive for her credentials? uses common sense to explore energy issues--I would like this to give more of a nod to her background here--perhaps common sense to explore complex energy issues. "tips and suggestions"-replace one of those words with "strategies?" I was listening to her transition talk again this morning, the last minute or so she makes a statement about being a big picture thinker. It may be a quote with a little more meat to say the same thing. Listen and see what you think.

I know I give excessive critiques, but you can sort it out and see what you agree with. Thanks for working on this.