whitecollar_fic: All the World was a Stage Dive (Gen, R)

[vain_glorious]

“Package for Agent Peter Burke,” the pockmarked bike messenger said.

The real Peter Burke was in the conference room, at a meeting Hughes had barred Neal from attending with a cranky “Out, Caffrey!”

So Neal had taken up residence at Peter’s desk, snacking on pistachios and accumulating a passive aggressive pile of shells he was going to store

Comments

Wow!

[anonymous]

I've now read this fic three times and every time I like it more (and I thought it was freaking brilliant the first time)! Evil!Neal is really NOT my kink but I thought I'd check it out anyway and WOW!

The beginning is so cute & perfectly in-character of Neal - pouting about being excluded from Hughes' meeting, sneaking Peter's pistachios and "accumulating a passive aggressive pile of shells he was going to store in Peter’s file folder drawer." Made me laugh out loud.

Everything going along perfectly IC for Neal and Peter and when Neal turned out to be the one holding El, I was so surprised that I went back and reread it twice to make sense of it. And then it got darker and darker and what a hell of finish! As another reviewer said, I loved that Neal's own viciousness (& the tracker!) was what did him in.

This was a fic I never would have expected to enjoy and yet it has stuck in my mind and I've come back twice more to reread it. Thank you so much for sharing your talent. What a powerful story.

Re: Wow!

[vain_glorious]

Thanks for the comment! I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

[springwoof]

Evil!Neal is not usually a premise I'd buy, but you sold it perfectly here. Especially at the beginning, where you had him so in-character. And even while he was being Evil, he was so close to canon, in his cleverness and arrogance--it was really creepy and well done.

I really liked your Elizabeth as the uncooperative hostage, she kept her head & her spirit and helped catch Evil!Neal.

I also liked your Mozzie, so much! You did a great job of portraying him very nearly as he is on the show: felonious, up for a caper, a little over-paranoid, but rather kind-hearted and not into violence or cruelty. I liked all of Mozzie's little kindnesses toward Elizabeth--while he'd delight in putting something over on "the Man," you showed in those kindnesses that he was Not Okay with going beyond the pale and actually hurting someone. It made sense that it was Mozzie's info that helped get Neal in the end.

[vain_glorious]

Thanks so much for the comment! I'm glad Evil!Neal worked for you, I tried to keep incredibly close to canon but minus, you know, the conscience. :)

[ext_292755]

Ooooh! This was the first evil!Neal fic I've read, and I LIKE this.. as long as Peter gets to take him down in the end :)

Well done keeping Peter and Mozzie in character in an evilverse... Peter scared to death about Elizabeth and Mozzie up for stealing the cache but totally repulsed at what's done to El.

Great final twists: El recognizing Neal as the villain, Peter already having figured it out ("you led us right to the crime scene"), and Mozzie flipping to the Feds. I could just see Peter silkily whispering that into Neal's ear as the coup de grace, and seeing Neal's realization of what's going to happen to him (a life in prison with guys who know he worked for the feds) being even more satisfying to Peter than just pistol-whipping the SOB. And besides, covering up a pistol whipping would take so much paperwork...

[vain_glorious]

Thanks for the lengthy comment! I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

[anonymous]

Wow. Awesome & creepy. I liked Mozzie.

[vain_glorious]

Thanks for the comment! :)

[searisme]

Very interesting idea, overall! I've read a few of your White Collar fic, and you have some interesting takes on stuff.

Is it very wrong of me to say that I was rooting for evil!Neal, though? I really wanted him to go free and keep being this vicious master criminal - the likeable, puppyish forger merely a con.

[vain_glorious]

Thanks for the feedback! My 'interesting' takes on stuff have become increasingly alternate from the show, so I appreciate the comment.

[searisme]

But I think that's what fanfic is all about; it's supposed to be transformative, otherwise I'd just rewatch the show. Stuff like this is what I go looking for in fandom.