The Bifrost Family Awesomesauce Challenge » Gen. 3 Ch. 2
WARNINGS: Language, adult themes, and a shit-ton of sing-a-grams.
Previously in The Bifrost Family Awesomesauce Challenge:
We began Generation Black, and Nero and Lusa were revealed as our heirs. The family moved across town. The heirs graduated, then married their respective significant others. Kala was shipped off to Le Fromage Art School. Lusa fell pregnant. Continue!
We begin this chapter with Nero playing some video games.
Nero: "C'mon Ganondorf, don't be a bitch, die already!"
Lusa: "Oh Neeeeroooo..."
Nero: "DAMMIT LUSA I WAS THIS CLOSE. This better be worth my dying. What do you want?"
Lusa: "Well... as you may have noticed, I'm pregnant. Andre has a job, but now that Mom and Dad are getting older, I think we're going to need another source of income to support a family as large as ours. As soon as I'm able, I'll get a job somewhere too, but until then... I was wondering if maybe you'd look for a job somewhere? You know, just to help us out temporarily. I hear that the old greeting card place downtown is hiring people for sing-a-grams again, you could give that a try!"
Nero: "Whoa whoa whoa, sing-a-grams, Lusa? Really? Can you really picture me delivering sing-a-grams? I've always wanted to be a doctor, you know that."
Lusa: "I know, but becoming a doctor is a slow process. Delivering sing-a-grams earns you surprisingly good money right off the bat. So what do you say? Just for a little while? For me? Your super awesome big sister who's never hated you, not even once? Please?"
Nero: "Remind me again why I'm embarassing myself like this in public again?"
Because you love your sister?
Nero: "Right. Gotta keep telling myself that."
Nero: "And so begins the start of an extremely long afternoon."
Nero: "Hello good sir, I'm here to congradulate you on your promotion through the dazzling meduim of song! So uh. Here goes.
♪ ♫ Hey mister police officer
Congrats on your promotion
And stuff
You look really snazzy in your uniform
I bet the ladies are all over you
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
...
CONGRATS. ♫ ♪"
Nero: "And hey, here's a present for no real reason! Don't blame me if it's weird, I didn't pick it out."
Police Officer: "Uh... thanks."
Welp. On to the next one.
Nero: "You mean there's MORE?!"
Nero: "Hello good sir, I'm here to congradulate you on your... *reads note card* ...no occassion... through the dazzling meduim of song!
♪ ♫ Hey regular guy
You're a regular guy
Except you're also really cool
Cooler than cool even
Ice cold
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
...
YOU'RE SPECIAL. ♫ ♪"
Nero: "lol is this day over yet."
Nero then decided to sing for tips to earn a little extra cash.
Nero: "I'm dedicating this one to my sister, who got knocked up and immediately expects me to throw all my dreams out the window for her- this one's for you, sis!
♪ ♫ I wanted to be a doctor
But then my sister had sex
With this guy named Andre
And so now they're pregnant
And now I need cash to help 'em
'Cause I'm a good brother
So give me some money
Please
Please
For the love of god
Please give me some money. ♫ ♪"
Regular Guy: "Hmmm... I'd say you're mediocre at best."
Old Lady: "Yeah... I wasn't impressed."
Nero: "♪ ♫ PLEASE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE ME SOME MONEY OOOOOHH I'M SO DESPERATE. ♫ ♪"
Old Lady: "Okay, okay, sheesh! If it'll make you shut up, I'll give you a few simoleons."
Nero: "Yessssss, Nero wears 'em down again."
Nero: "Well, that was an incredibly stressful and completely demeaning day. I need to get home to my girl."
That's certainly one way of relieving stress. ♥
The next morning...
Nero: "SOOOOO."
Ruth: "...Yes?"
Nero: "Yesterday really sucked."
Ruth: "And?"
Nero: "And... I know of a sure-fire way to remedy that."
Again, I must say: Ruth, gurl, I dare you to say no to that face though I don't think I'd even have to because I mean really just look at him.
So cute I'm nauseous. ♥
Nero: "Well, I'm off to spend another day in the fiery depths of hell."
Ruth: "Have fun with that, sweetheart."
Nero: "Hello good sir, I'm here to congradulate you on your new baby through the dazzling meduim of song!
♪ ♫ So I heard you had a baby
Yeah you had a baby
Well not actually
You didn't have the baby
Your wife did, or
Your girlfriend, or
The random person you knocked up did
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
...
HAVE A BUNNY
Y'know, for your baby. ♫ ♪"
Bunny Guy: "Ooh, a bunny! I love bunnies! I mean. My baby. My baby loves bunnies. Er. Yeah."
Nero: "..Yeah, I'm gonna go now."
Nero even ended up delivering a sing-a-gram to Paulette, September and Jelly Bean's daughter.
Nero: "Hello good madame, I'm here to congradulate you on your -oh for christ's sake- good job on your whatever, dazzling meduim of song, yadda yadda, here you go:
♪ ♫ Hey cousin Paulette
Good job on whatever it is you did
Yeah good job, yeah
It's getting progressively obvious
That I don't give a shit about this job
And it's true
I don't
Have a nice day
Say hi to Uncle September for me
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
...
GOOD JOB. ♫ ♪"
Back at home, Cornflower became an adult. Again.
Still sew hawt.
Eeeeep, baby time!
Say hello to Victoria Bifrost, the first child of Generation Purple. And because this generation's color is purple, the naming scheme is royalty (I know, so creative heh). Anyway, her traits are Loves the Outdoors and Disciplined, and her favorites are Indie music, Tri-Tip Tofu Steak, and Irish Green.
Also, Kala came home, aged up, and promptly moved out. See you around, Kala!
Looks like the second baby of Generation Purple is on its way.
Victoria aged up, and it's pretty clear that she's all Andre except for her eyes which are Cornflower's, and her hair is Billy's. Genetics are my absolute favorite part of TS3.
Nero had his very first show at the park that night. Even the police officer he delivered his first sing-a-gram to showed up. Dude's gonna be a fan fo lyfe.
♪ ♫ You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby light my fire
Come on baby light my fire
Try to set the night on fire ♫ ♪
Why yes Nero is indeed a one-man Doors cover band, thanks for the idea iTunes
They loved him, surprisingly.
Nero: "Thank you, thank you! I love you all! All three of you!"
True to her word, Lusa went out and got a job the minute she was able. Unfortunately, much like Nero, she wasn't able to get her dream job.
Lusa: "Nope. Surprisingly, there isn't a real demand for international super spies at the moment. And a girl's gotta make money, so... I am this crime syndicate's newest recruit. I'm officially a decoy."
Nero: "Something's... about to happen, isn't it?"
Well spotted, friend.
Meet Anastasia Bifrost, the second child born into Generation Purple. She's a Loner and a Slob, and she enjoys Rockabilly, Cheese Tofu Steak, and the color Grey.
She's basically the cutest thing ever. ♥ And someone finally inherited Pumpkin's blue hair! Win/win.
In other news, November has finally mastered the martial arts skill! She and Cornflower spar quite a bit, and November usually wins for obvious reasons. Ol' Corny's managed to school her daugher a couple of times, though.
But sadly, November and Pumpkin ended up having to move out because the house was just getting way too crowded. :/ I'll miss you guys, visit often! <3
But here, have a little toddler spam to lighten the mood.
Another brightside is that Cornflower finally mastered the piano skill, and with that, completed her LTW! Good job bb, Billy would be so proud. <3
Cornflower: "♪ ♫ This girl just completed her Lifetime Wish, yeah, oh yeah she's basically the shit. WOO! ♫ ♪ ...I like that, that one's going on the album for sure. Mhm."
So. Andre's cat Snowy got old.
Ruth's pregnant again, so the final child of Generation Purple'll be here soon. Aw yeah.
So somewhere along the way, Nero became a two star celebrity. And shortly after that happened, somebody spread a rumor that he pissed himself in public. Yeeup. So he's been going around trying to convince people that it's not true.
Nero: "Because I mean really, look at me. Look at me. Does this look like the face of a guy who'd soil himself in public?"
Dude: "Well, I.."
Nero: "...That was a rhetorical question."
Back at home, Victoria aged up and gained Mean Spirited as her third trait.
Naturally, Victoria's first act as a child was to check out the new tree house in the backyard.
Victoria: "Alright, this place rules. Somebody toss me up a marker so I can make a NO COUSIN ANASTASIAS ALLOWED sign because seriously you guys, this thing is awesome. Dibs."
Woop, baby time again! Don't burst a vein back there, Nero.
Here we have Magnus Bifrost, the final child of Generation Purple. He's a Neurotic Virtuoso who likes Kids music, Cobbler, and the color Lilac.
asdfghjklls;jd I am being spoiled this gen with Pumpkin's blue hair and Ruth's pointed ears. ♥
Anastasia aged up as well, and gained Disciplined for her third trait.
Even though Nero's around level three or four in the singing career by now, he still has to deliver sing-a-grams, much to his dismay.
Nero: "So.. this is from some lady. I sort of wish they would have at least sent a girl or something to sing this one to you, but uh. Yeah. Here you go.
♪ ♫ Oh Richard
With your seductive ponytail flowing in the moonlight
Take me in your manly arms
And caress my girlish cheeks (on my face) ♫ ♪"
The man was so taken with Nero's performance that he derped. Aw.
Nero: "♪ ♫ Oh Richard
I want to press my lips into your luscious chest hair
But alas, I cannot
So here are some flowers
Love, Your Secretary (you know, the one your wife doesn't know about) ♫ ♪"
Nero: "I'm fairly sure this classifies as cruel and unusal punishment."
That brings us to the end of yet another chapter. Next time:
• More of Nero singing and generally wanting to kill himself
• More birthdays
• Also probably a genie
• And more birthdays
Thanks for reading! <3