The La Force Legacy: Generation 4, Ch. 3
Finally had time to post another chapter! For once I didn't have enough screenshots for another chapter so I actually got to play the La Forces for while. It was so nice, I finally got to play 'em with Generations. :D So yay~ I've also been toying around with maybe doing an Awesomesauce Legacy Challenge? Looks like all kinds of fun to me. Anyway, on with the chapter!
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IN THE LAST TOTALLY BANGIN’ EPISODE OF THE LA FORCE LEGACY:
Mario became a young adult and moved out so he could bang old ladies. Bowe (Bowser’s hoes, for those who don’t know) numero dos Fern discovered she was pregnant and Thor La Force was born. Rogue aged up into childhood, and later teenagerdom. Ecruteak became an oldie. Nolan became an oldie. Bowser had a heart to heart with his younger brother Mario, and briefly met a Juliet Verona. Padmé passed on, but we were finally able to meet grim!Anakin in the process. Thor aged from baby, to toddler, to child. In short, there were a ton of fucking birthdays. Proceed!
We begin this chapter with Rogue and her friend. Who happens to be a boy. Boyfriend. Friend boy. ANYWAY. He’s not just any boy, he’s Simmerqueen’s Puck Summerdream of the TS2 Summerdreams. Anyway, they met at school and planned to meet at the beach afterwards to hang out.
Rogue was still understandably upset about her great grandmother’s passing.
Rogue: “Oh Puck, I just don’t know what to do. Great Gran Padmé was the closest thing I ever had to a mom. Everything’s so much harder now that she’s gone..”
Puck: “Hey. Don’t you worry. If you ever need anything, I mean anything, I’m here for you, okay?”
Rogue: “Thanks, Puck. I really needed that. Y’know, you’re pretty swell. You’re the first boy in our grade that I have ever even considered speaking to, so you can go ahead and feel awesome about that for a while.”
Puck: “Um.. thanks?”
Rogue: “You’re welcome.”
Rogue’s become quite the cocky little thing. Not quite sure where she gets it from.
Bowser: “Hey Verona, so I know we just met yesterday and all, but... would you break up with your long-term boyfriend for me so we can have sex in my dead grandma’s time machine? I’m awesome as hell so I can guarantee you won’t regret it.”
Juliet: “Sure thing, sug.”
Oh yeah. THAT’S where.
Juliet: “Sorry dude, this just isn’t working out. I have my needs, and quite frankly, you’re not fulfilling them. So if we could just break this off, that’d be greaaaat. ANYWAY I’m off to have sex with some random guy I met yesterday in a time machine. Alright. Well. Toodles!”
Bowser: “Aw, thanks Julie. You’re so wonderful, you know that?”
Juliet: “It’s Juliet. So where was that time machine you were telling me about..?”
Nolan: “Oh Lord. Can’t a frail old man play with his grandson’s dollies in piece?”
Bowser: “We’ll get there, Jules. Just sit back, take it slow, and enjoy the ride...”
Juliet: “Juliet. And okay!” *giggles annoyingly*
Nolan: “Jesus fucking Christ, I need to LEAVE.”
This is the painting Padmé was working on before she died. Makes me sad she never got the chance to finish it.
On a brighter note, Rogue has taken up drumming and is already at skill level 2. She’ll be keeping the neighbors awake at all hours of the night with her banging before you know it. Aaaaaaand WAIT FOR IT- that’s what she said. He said? I dunno. I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. I never can.
Thor seems to really appreciate her playing, though, so that’s nice.
Let us return to Bowser and his sexcapades.
Bowser: “So, if I have sex in the past, that means it will absolutely in no way affect my future! AWESOME.”
SMH. Boy, you have so much to learn.
And with your children right outside? Classy, Bowser.
Juliet: “That was... uninspired. I left my boyfriend of two years for this?”
Bowser: “Aww yeah, I totally rocked that chick’s world. She’ll come back for more. They always do.”
Excuse me, I think you’ve mistaken the word ‘always’ with ‘never’.
Thor wasn’t the only one impressed with Rogue’s drumming. Nolan, who happens to be a pop icon in the music career, really enjoyed watching her play as well.
Nolan: “Thatta girl. You take after your grandpa.”
Rogue: “Yeah, well, it was either you or dad. The pickings for role models in this family are pretty slim.”
Nolan: “I’m flattered, sweetheart. Watch it though, you’ve got your father’s smart mouth.”
Rogue: “So I’ve been told.”
Some time later...
Mystery Boy: “Whoa.. huh? Where am I?”
Mystery Boy: “What a strange man.. his garments are baffling, to say the least.”
Nolan: “...Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?”
After some more wandering around the house, the mystery boy found what he was looking for.
Mystery Boy: “Father! At last, I have found you!”
Bowser: “...Will you excuse me for just a second? I need to piss. And holy mother of god what the HELL IS GOING ON?!”
Bowser: “Hey Julia-”
Juliet: “It’s Juliet.”
Bowser: “Juliet. Sorry. There’s a strange boy downstairs claiming to be our son. Which is impossible! It’s like the saying goes, ‘What happens in the past, stays in the past’.”
Juliet: “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! YOU TOLD ME THAT THE TIME MACHINE HAD A SPECIAL SETTING THAT WOULD PREVENT ME FROM GETTING PREGNANT! WHAT HAPPENS IN THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST? REALLY? DO YOU HAVE THE IQ OF A FOUR YEAR OLD OR SOMETHING?”
Bowser: “Well, to my defense, you’d have to be pretty stupid to believe that a ‘special pregnancy prevention’ setting actually exists...”
Juliet: “FUCK YOU, SHUT UP, I’M DONE. GOODBYE.”
Bowser: “Holy shit please please please don’t kill me. Because honestly, you have the craziest look in your eye, Julio, and I’m a little scared.”
Juliet: “IT’S JULIET. JULIET.”
Juliet left and Bowser was, once again, left alone with another child, this one fully grown. He named him Stark La Force, after Tony Stark aka Iron Man. His traits are as follows: Loves the Outdoors, Party Animal, Handy, Good, and Coward. His favorites are Latin music, Shawarma, and the color Green. His LTW is Forensic Specialist: Dynamic DNA Profiler. He reminds me a lot of an indian Bowser, physical features wise. Pretty cute.
Needless to say, Rogue and Thor were a little weirded out by Stark’s sudden presence.
Rogue: “So he was conceived after me, yet.. he’s older than me. What the hell, man. That shit’s messed up.”
Thor: “All I wanted was a little brother.” *sigh*
Things were a little strange for Bowser and Stark, too.
Stark: “Father, why don’t you ever hug me? Am I not as lovable as Thor or Rogue?”
Bowser: “No, dude- I mean, Stark- it’s just.. it’s kinda weird me hugging you and calling you ‘son’ when we’re like, the same age. You know what I mean? It’s not your fault. This is just going to have to take some getting used to.”
Thor and his grandpa Nolan are best friends. It’s the cutest thing in the world.
Upon closer inspection, it appears that Thor’s bedtime story is Totally Preggers: An Expectant Mother’s Tale. Uh. Okay.
Nolan: “And that, my boy, is where babies come from.”
Thor: *is traumatized for life*
Padmé comes back to haunt every once in a while. She mostly watches TV while Leo (the family’s new magical gnome) plays dead in front of it.
Deciding she kind-of-sort-of missed hanging out with Puck, Rogue paid the Summerdream household a visit.
Rogue: “Hey Bottom, is your brother home?”
Bottom: “Nope, that loser’s not here. But you’re welcome to come in if you’d like.”
Rogue: “Uhh. Okay.”
As it turned out, Bottom’s parents weren’t home either. Rogue felt bad about seeing a little girl home alone, so she decided to stay for a while and keep her company.
Rogue: “Hey Bottom. Wanna hear a scary story?”
Bottom: “Um... alright.”
Rogue: “Ahem. *overly-dramatic scary-story-telling voice* There once lived a boy named Puck Summerdream. He seemed normal enough, except for one strange little characteristic: he had pointed ears. He was a quiet and rather serious boy, but still kind to those who knew him. And he had a little sister. One much like you, I’m afraid...”
Rogue: “Her name was Top, and she was born before you were. One day, she decided it would be funny to put pink hair dye in her brother’s shampoo. Boy, was she wrong. Puck came out of the shower furious. He chased Top all around the house- this very house, to be exact- and you know what he did next..?”
Bottom: “W-what?”
Rogue: “He grabbed her by her cute little pigtails- very similar to yours, actually- and he CHUCKED HER OUT THE WINDOW. They never saw poor little Top Summerdream again. And then your parents adopted you. THE END.”
Bottom: “B-but Puck is my- he’s my- pointed ears- my pigtails?! This house- Top... WHAT?! YOU’RE REALLY WEIRD.”
Rogue: “I know. Well it’s getting late and I should be going, tell your brother I stopped by. See you at school, Bottom!”
Meanwhile, Bowser was out and on the prowl at this little nightclub.
Believe it or not, this is what’s considered a “hotspot” in Barnacle Bay. A bartender, the mayor or some shit, a random chick and a random dude, and a chick dancing on the table. Yup.
Bowser went straight for the table dancer. A Bowe if I ever saw one. Turns out her name is Fawn, the very same Fawn that came home with Bowser and Mario when they were teens.
Bowser: “Hi, I’m Bowser. I believe we had Biology together in high school.”
Fawn: “Ohhh, right! You’re the one with the cute but deranged brother, correct?”
Bowser: “Yeah, that’s Mario.”
Fawn: “Y’know, you’re cuter than I remember..”
Needless to say, it wasn’t long before she was putty in his hands. Seriously, is Bowser getting weirdly good at seducing women or what?
Leo has taken to laying directly in front of the shower, preventing everyone from using it. This would be ten times funnier if he was planking.
I guess I must have completely spaced on Bowser’s birthday, so unfortunately he’ll just have to enter adulthood without cake. Tragic.
Bowser opted for a more mature look now that he’s a fully-fledged adult. Alas, it seems he’s going through some sort of midlife crisis.
Bowser: “I blame the lack of birthday cake.”
In other news, Nolan is now the coolest grandpa on the block with his sweet new cane.
Seriously. It’s a llama. A fucking llama! Lucius Malfoy ain’t got nothing on Nolan.
Bowser woke up the next morning with the uncontrollable urge to bone a random lady (like he does every morning), so he invited Fawn over.
Not much time was wasted on getting to know each other, as per usual.
Aw, jeez, Bowser, not Thor’s treehouse! Poor kid. He sleeps up there most of the time.
Afterwards, Bowser didn’t feel as satisfied as he usually does. He felt the exact opposite of satisfied, actually, he felt empty more than anything else. It was strange. He’d wanted this more than anything earlier in the day, but now he wasn’t sure what he wanted.
Bowser: “Look, Fawn, I’m sorry, but what just happened was a mistake. I have no intention of calling you, or talking to you ever again after today. What I did was wrong, and I’m sorry for leading you on the way I did. I’m just now realizing that, despite what I previously thought, I do have a conscience, and I can’t do this anymore. I am so, so sorry, and you have every right to be angry with me.”
Fawn: “Angry? Oh no, Bowser, I’m not angry. I’m FURIOUS! You’re supposed to be the town bicycle! Everyone’s always saying, ‘Need a quickie while your boyfriend’s out of town? Call Bowser!’ And that’s precisely what I wanted! I already have a boyfriend, so the last thing I need is you getting all mushy on me. What a disappointment, my sister was so wrong about you.”
Bowser: “Y-your sister? Who’s your sister?”
Fawn: “Oh for the love of god. Fern! You know, the mother of your second child?”
Bowser: “Oh. My. GOD.”
Bowser: “I slept with Thor’s aunt. I slept with Thor’s aunt. Alright, that’s it. Something has got to change.”
Fawn: “Yup, and the first change is me. I’m outta here. The sex was great, though. Say hi to my nephew for me!”
Bowser: “...Yeah. I need a shower. NOW.”
And so here we are, at the end of another chapter. Sorry it was a little on the short side, next one should be longer. Next time!
~Raging teenage parties
~More Adventures in Teenage Love
~Prom
~Basically a whole mess of awkward adolescence
Thanks for reading! <3