The La Force Legacy: Generation 3, Ch. 4
DUDES.
Sorry I've been so shitty about updating lately. D: Lately I've been either busy or.. distracted.
Darn you, TSM. >.< I'm really trying to work on posting more regularly, really, I am.
Well anyway. I forgot to mention this in the last update, but I recently (finally) put up all of the Generation 3 kids for download! Click here to check it out. (:
IN THE LAST FRIGHTFULLY OMINOUS CHAPTER OF THE LA FORCE LEGACY:
Padmé was harassed by Angel the gnome, and later discovered an underground civilization of trolls. Peach pwned some noobz with her video game obsession. Bowser aged from baby, to toddler, to child, and was for the most part rejected by his sisters. Ecruteak snooped (isn’t that what she always does?). Peach and Daisy entered adolescence. Lastly, Anakin was... Anakin. Proceed!
This chapter starts with some old people lovin’. Padmé and Bryce don’t always get time for romance, what with Padmé being practically attached at the hip to her workbench, but it’s nice when they do. (:
Anakin: “PFFFT. I always have time for romance. And I work nights! IMMA THUG, BITCH.”
Always have time for romance, eh? Then how come I’ve never seen any of your lady friends around here, hmm? This makes me really want to find Ani a girl. (;
Anakin: “GOD PLEASE NO. To quote the always philosophical Jay-Z, “I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”. And I’d like to keep it that way.”
This familiar face right here is Regan, Leah’s illegitimate daughter with what’s his face. The guy she met before Gateon. I can’t even remember his name. Anyway! I bring this up because Daisy went home with her after school to study.
Daisy: “In which universe is it fair that a cousin that I’m NOT EVEN RELATED TO gets to live in a nicer place than me? Ugh.”
Daisy seems to have developed a bit of an attitude. She’s almost always scowling at something. Must be those dern teenage hormones.
Peach, on the other hand, was the more lighthearted sister. She took to playing with Angel, the family gnome.
Peach: “Sorry Angel, I call dibs on Mr. Hector. You can play with his girlfriend, Carlita. I gotta warn you though, she’s kind of a bitch.”
Meanwhile, Anakin was- NO. NONONONONONONO NO. ;____;
Anakin: “The fuck are you blabbering on about now? And.. and what smells like death?”
It’s you, Anakin. You’re dying.. )’:
Anakin: “So I am! Cool.”
Not cool! This is like, the least cool thing that could possibly happen! You’re Shiloh’s first born! You haven’t conquered the world yet! You’re.. my favorite! )’;
Anakin: “Oh yeah! Fuck! Whatever happened to completing my Lifetime Wish?”
You quit working in the criminal career as soon as you moved out. ¬_¬
Anakin: “OH. Oh yeah. Fuck! I was gonna run shit, too...”
The Grim Reaper showed up immediately; he’d shown interest in Anakin’s soul from the very beginning. Ecruteak was the only one who witnessed him die.
Grim: “Hmm.. he just may be the one I am searching for...”
Ecruteak: “OH NO! How could this happen? My beloved... LAPTOP! It’s busted!”
Anakin: “I told your mother you seemed twitchy. I said, “Padmé, that girl ain’t right”. But did she listen? Nope! She laughed and named you after your tweaky-ness. EcruT(w)EAK. Coincidence? I think not.”
Grim: “ANAKIN LA FORCE. You, my son, have lead a long and despicably evil life. I have been watching over you- or rather, watching under you. Y’know, from hell and all. Anyway, I like what I have seen. Contrary to popular belief, the Grim Reaper does not live forever. I am nearly immortal, much like the vampires from your world. I am dying, Anakin. I’ve been searching for my replacement, and I would be honored if you would be willing to take on such a great -and greatly feared- position. You have shown great promise here on Earth. You are ready, my son...”
Anakin: “...Are you joking? HELL FUCKING YES! Well... on one condition.”
Grim: “Yes, my son?”
Anakin: “I’ll be the new Grim Reaper. But ONLY, and I mean only, if you’ll allow me to come back in my ghost form to visit- er, haunt my family. They’re all little fuckers, but I love ‘em to bits.”
Grim: “I agree with those terms completely. Come now, we have much to do...”
Anakin: “You’ve got yourself a deal then, Mr. Grim.”
Ecruteak finally came to her senses and realized what had just happened.
Ecruteak: “Now who will point at me and call me strange names?! Uncle Ani was the only one in my entire family that I actually leveled with! He understood what went on in my head better than anyone..”
Even though Grim alluded to having “much to do” as he took Anakin’s soul, he apparently still had enough time to sit down and read a book.
Grim: “What? You think they have books as whimsical and lighthearted as THIS in the underworld? HELL NAW! They only have horror stories and those books by Stephenie Meyer! Do you really expect me to read THAT for thousands of years?”
Ecruteak: “WHY ANAKIN WHYYYYY..”
As Grim read his book, Ecruteak hatched a plan to see her uncle again.
Ecruteak: “Hey Grim! If I give you my tickets to that new movie that’s coming out this weekend, will you give me my uncle back?”
Grim: “Throw in some soda and maybe we’ll talk.”
Grim: “Wait, which movie to you have tickets to? This could really be a deal breaker for me.”
Ecruteak: “Uhh.. that one with the swooshy-haired kid who sings about babies?”
Grim: “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never?!!!?!!11!1!one!? ..I’ll think about it.”
Bowser: “So now that Great Uncle Ani’s dead, does that mean there’ll be another gravestone in the backyard?”
Peach: “Yup.” *plus*
Bowser: “God this family is so creepy.”
And with Ecruteak’s preposition left hanging in the air, the Grim Reaper was gone.
Ecruteak: “Bleghhh, he got death on my shoes! Aw maaan.”
Bryce had just come back from a trip to the past when he heard the news. Although they had a bit of a rough patch when Bryce was a teenager, he was distraught to find out his brother-in-law was dead.
Like his father and mother, Anakin was buried in the backyard, his grave adorned with flowers. He probably would have hated that. XD <3
R.I.P. Anakin La Force, age 93.
Anakin was Shiloh’s first born and easily my favorite child from the second generation. He was a loud, opinionated, terribly evil man who was always more that a little strange. But more than that, he was hilarious and always kept me laughing, no matter what he was doing. He’d never admit it, but deep down he was a real sweet guy when it came to his family. He couldn’t give a fuck about anyone else, and he made sure that was clearly understood. Goodbye Ani, son of Shiloh, brother of Padmé, and loving uncle and great uncle to many. You always said you were gonna run shit, and someday you will be running shit in the underworld. You will be so missed. <3
Ecruteak found comfort in the arms of her husband at once.
Ecruteak: “Oh Nolan, I just can’t believe Uncle Ani’s gone. This all feels like some awful dream... I just don’t know what to do.”
Nolan: “Hmmm..”
Nolan: “Wanna have really really sad grieving sex in your dead uncle’s bed?”
Ecruteak: “Sure!”
As you might imagine, members of the family were constantly out mourning at Anakin’s grave. Made me so sad.
Ecruteak: “I CAN’T *sniff* BELIEVE *sniff* THIS HAPPENED! *sob* Oh yeah by the way Nolan and I had sex in your bed sorry K BYE I LOVE YOU.”
At least the gang had Bowser’s birthday to cheer things up the next day.
Bowser: “WHY DOES MY PEENER FEEL DIFFERENT NOW?”
Hilarious puberty is hilarious. XD
GOOD LORD, he’s so awkward-looking and I love him. <3 Anyway, Bowser aged up with the trait of Savvy Sculptor. Me thinks that’s a first for this legacy!
Bowser: “Awkward-looking. That’s the word every teenage boy going through puberty wants to hear.” -_-
And looky here! Ecruteak is finally pregnant again, most likely for the last time. *crosses fingers for ginger bb*
To get over the loss of a great uncle he barely knew, Bowser decided to throw himself into his workout routine.
Bowser: “Yeah, either that or, I dunno, maybe it’s that athletic trait of mine? Oh wait, maybe it was that ‘awkward-looking’ comment I got the moment I hit puberty which CRUSHED MY SOUL. Either way, I’m gonna be fit.”
Peach wasn’t handling Anakin’s death as well as Bowser was. Anakin had helped raise her, after all, so that kind of justified her random outbursts.
Peach: “GREAT UNCLE ANI’S DEAD AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, MOM.”
Ecruteak: “Whoa, pregnant lady in heels here!”
Ecruteak: “Try to understand, sweetheart. Great Uncle Ani’s in a better place now.”
Peach: “..You mean hell?”
Ecruteak: “No! Of course not. Maybe. I dunno. Anyway, wherever he is, I’m sure he’s happy. None of this is my fault, or your fault, or anyone else’s. It’s the circle of life, honey. That’s just the way it is.”
Ecruteak: “Feel better?”
Peach: “Yeah, I really do. Thanks Mom.”
Teak’s a good mom when it counts. <3
And once again, Ecruteak was out on the job, doing what she does best: making a complete fool of herself.
Ecruteak: “SHHHH! I’m on a steak-out! There are two verrrry suspicious-looking characters on this beach...”
Ecruteak: “FIRST, my triplet sister Eterna. I always thought she had something to hide from the very beginning. That’s right, ever since we shared a womb. Look at her, with her.. burnt cookies. How scandalous!”
Ecruteak: “And then there’s... this guy. I don’t know who he is but DAMN his hair is weird.”
Ecruteak: “Look at her. Eating her hamburger. Being all.. blond.”
Ecruteak: “THAT’S RIGHT, RUN AWAY! But I know you have some kind of EVIL concealed in that diabolical picnic basket of yours!”
Next on Ecruteak’s list of people to interrogate was Krystal. That’s right, Crazy Krystal.
Ecruteak: “So Krystal, you are aware that Gateon doesn’t live here anymore, right? And that he’s married? With children?”
Krystal: “Yes.. I am aware of that.”
Ecruteak: “Well then riddle me this! What the HELL are you doing on my front lawn?!”
Krystal: “Ecruteak... I live here. This is my house. You’re on my lawn.”
Ecruteak: “OH. Right. I thought that picket fence looked unfamiliar.. Anyway! You stay on your lawn, far away from Gateon, and I’ll stay on mine. Deal?”
Krystal: “..Sure. Now please, for the love of God, leave.”
WHAT THE FUCK, UNIVERSE? TWO DEATHS IN ONE CHAPTER?! ;___;
That’s right, Bryce was passing on. The Grim Reaper had made two appearances within the span of two days. Needless to say, he wasn’t exactly happy about it.
Grim: “Wasn’t I just here yesterday? You couldn’t have died one day earlier? OH NOOO, THAT WOULD’VE BEEN WAY TOO EASY.”
Bryce: “I’m... sorry?”
Peach: “Un-uncle Ani? Is.. is that you?!”
Grim: “No! It's only been two goddamned days! Give his old soul some time, sheesh. Anyway, right this way old man.”
It’s strange. Although he’d completed his LTW, Bryce still wanted more time. On the other hand, Anakin, who hadn’t completed his LTW, was perfectly happy to leave with Grim. I just don’t understand it.
Bryce: “Please Grim, I beg of you! Let me stay with my wife. I’m not ready to leave her yet. Surely you’ve loved someone before, surely you understand...”
Grim: “Um, let me think about that for a minute.. uhhhh NO. Now come, it is your time... or whatever.”
Bryce: “..Bitch.”
Grim: “...What was that?”
Bryce: “Er.. nothing? Coming!”
Grim: “Um, how DARE this bitch get in my way? MOVE YOURSELF.”
Padmé: “You just essentially killed my husband. So hell fucking no.”
Daisy: “Tell ‘em, Grandma.”
And so another grave was added to The La Force Family Cemetery. Bright blue flowers for Bryce’s favorite color. <3
R.I.P. Bryce La Force, age 90.
Bryce was probably the best (and my personal favorite) spouse thus far. He was a little silly, and maybe a little obsessed with cookies, but that was all part of his charm. He was a family man, and really, just an all around nice guy, and that definitely showed in raising his children. Lastly, he was an absolutely superb cook, and the family will miss his delicious variety of meals. But more than that, they will miss him. Goodbye Bryce, loving husband and wonderful father. <3
Ending the chapter on a sad note today. Forgive me, the next chapter should be happier! Big changes are still to come for the La Forces. (; Till next time! See ya. <3