So Andre Norton’s back catalog seems to be mostly out in digital form these days-really out, and not in the shady iBook editions that had me going “I kinda wonder what’s up with that.” And while I re-read The Crystal Gryphon approximately eleventy million times as a pre-teen, I had not read most of the other Witch World books. (I think I remember “
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I think arranged marriages are also one of those "skip the hard stuff of meeting someone and get to the dating part" things. (Also, power dynamics. >_> I know my catnip!) Also, the guy can't just dump you when he discovers you're a bookworm thesaurus girl. >_> So it's got a certain "captive audience" kind of feel, too.
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(...of course that was also related to the rape fantasy thing when I was young. Sex without having to worry about whether you're doing it wrong or not making it good enough for him! ...possibly I had issues.)
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I sort of wish there was a beloved fantasy series that let young proto-tops/dommes know that that sort of thing was an option. (cough)
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Also I completely agree with you on the whole language-dating. There are some books that I remember loving, but couldn't make myself go back and read now, for at least partly that reason.
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