I don't love you, but I always will - a Damon/Elena shipper manifesto (part 2)

[upupa_epops]

Here goes part two! Part three will probably take me a good while to write. tvdbloodstream has a Top Ten challenge, and the ship part ends on Thursday, so it appears that first I have to work on something with actual deadline. But for now, part two is alive and kicking. Without further ado:

I don't love you, but I always will - a Damon/Elena shipper manifesto

Comments

[marble_rose]

Lovely post!

I agree with most all of this, but I think we see the dance in Miss Mystic Falls a little differently. I guess I don't really get the awkward vibe? At first, sure, most definitely, but not the whole way through. They start off really distracted and they're just trying to get through it, but I think there's this point where all of that fades away. For me, it's all in the framing. Sure, the dance is formal and, in your words, oddly stiff (lol), but the thing I love the most about it is that it's framed as Elena's pov. Damon is on his best behavior during this; he's very appropriate and borderline stoic. It's Elena that has the visible reactions. Even with all the crazy going on with Stefan, once the music hits it stride and she steps into Damon's arms, it becomes all about them. Elena stops being distracted; she doesn't fidget or look for Stefan over Damon's shoulder. All of her attention is squarely focused on Damon. Her eyes keep flitting over him; she's just so very present with him in that moment

[upupa_epops]

Thank you :).

I agree that Elena is focused on Damon in the MMF scene. I just don't think it's romantic focus -- she views him as her ally, she trusts him, she's grateful for his help, she counts on him. They're in this together. They work well together. The fact that they aren't really comfortable with the formal occasion they're supposed to participate in only shows that it's much more of a friendship scene than a love scene. They're a team here, not lovers.

I'll try not to keep you waiting for too long with the next part :).

[marble_rose]

It's interesting. I don't disagree with anything you're saying and yet...I think there's a little more to it than that. Do I think the scene is romantic? Not really. Not in the traditional sense. I don't think Elena is experiencing any huge revelations or life-changing heart palpitations. She's not melting into him. The wool hasn't suddenly been lifted from her eyes. But do I think it's strictly friendship? Hmmm. I'm not so sure. I think the seen is everything you say it is...until the lyric "hold me in your embrace". That's where I'm seeing just that little bit more. Up until then, yes, they're uncomfortable. It's all about being a team, united for Stefan. But, well, I just don't look at my friends the way Elena looks at Damon in this scene. There's this spark there. It's not about love, or lust. But it doesn't feel like it's all friendship and gratitude, either

[upupa_epops]

But, well, I just don't look at my friends the way Elena looks at Damon in this scene. There's this spark there. It's not about love, or lust. But it doesn't feel like it's all friendship and gratitude, either.

I can agree with that :). I've been thinking about what you said, and then I realized that I just completely disregarded that "spark" because I automatically associate formal dances with terrible embarrassment ;).

[wickedrum]

Compare it to what he did in 2x01, when he could've had Katherine against a bookshelf, but he stopped, because he needed to talk. He needed to know she loved him, because in an epic romance, the declaration of love happens before sex. With Elena, he just takes what he can get, and not because he's so whipped (not that he isn't whipped ;) ) and he'd take any crumbs from her table. No. He takes anything, because they make this up as they go, and he doesn't have the eternity with her outlined in his head

What you wrote here suggests to me that his love for Katherine is(was) superior to the one he feels for Elena, which I would agree with by the way. Im not sure thats what you mean?
It could come from the fact that he doesnt dare to love as strongly anymore though.

[upupa_epops]

No, I wouldn't view it in terms of superiority/inferiority. It's just different. Damon is developing as a character, and his views on love are changing. It's not that he doesn't dare to love Elena the way he loved Katherine. He just doesn't want to love like that again, because, as he's changing, his priorities also shift.

[eowyn_315]

I will never not be fascinated by this. Because, you know what? I fail at romance too. I've never had an epic romantic dance with a love of my life. I've never had a significant kiss that would be a breakthrough in a relationship. And if I tried to have one, I'd probably sneeze in the middle of it.

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS. I mean, I do have an occasional soft spot for epic romance on film (knowing it's a fantasy), just because wouldn't it be nice if that kind of thing DID actually happen to me? But sometimes I just need to be bitter about how that shit does not happen in real life, and I love that D/E gives me that. And it's why I connect with the ship on this gross gut level, haha.

From what I've seen in fandom, many people insist that Elena is delusional, that she lies to herself and stubbornly refuses to address her feelings for Damon.Eh, I'd say, if anything, she's delusional about her feelings for (post-ripper) Stefan, not Damon. But even there I think it's more a case of her deliberately choosing to ignore things because

[upupa_epops]

I mean, I do have an occasional soft spot for epic romance on film (knowing it's a fantasy), just because wouldn't it be nice if that kind of thing DID actually happen to me? But sometimes I just need to be bitter about how that shit does not happen in real life, and I love that D/E gives me that.

Exactly. It's not that I have something against Epic Romance as it is. I don't, I have my fluffy phases myself. But I don't want the Epic Romance to be treated as default. I want variety of love stories, and I feel that I'm not getting enough stories of the D/E kind.

Eh, I'd say, if anything, she's delusional about her feelings for (post-ripper) Stefan, not Damon. But even there I think it's more a case of her deliberately choosing to ignore things because that's the person she wants to be and she seems to believe that she can only be that person with Stefan.

Yep. She chooses Stefan because she's supposed to choose Stefan. You should want to be with the person who makes you feel glad you're alive.

Because what he realizes is that she's

[ladygawain]

Sometimes I like to go into your tags, and read old posts, and cry into my chocolate pudding.

(an actual thing that is happening right now as I write this useless comment on this flawless post, just so you know)

K. Bye.

[upupa_epops]

You can't even imagine how huge my grin is right now. Thank you <333333333