I Take The Parts That I Remember And Stitch Them Back Together (an Elena meta)

[upupa_epops]

I've been trying to write a coherent Elena meta about what's going on with the OT3 lately, but turns out that coherent has left this bar. And yet I still want to discuss, so let me throw some random TVD thoughts at you, and also rant about fandom and predictions for the finale. Basically, I have a few questions. Yes, some of them are rhetorical

Comments

[intrikate88]

She's not allowed to keep their friendship and their support in the time of crisis, because they both happen to be in love with her, and the show somehow decided it was her problem.

OMG THANK YOU. This so clearly encapsulates what is bothering me so much about the really forced love triangle plot, apart from the fact that it is a love triangle (jesus, guys, just accept that you're a threesome, you all love each other and won't give each other up, LIVE WITH IT ALREADY). But Stefan and Damon are free to feel whatever the fuck they want; this is in no way Elena's problem. She's a decent person because she's polite, forthright, and honest about everything, but it's still not her problem. The end.

I can't believe I just wrote a post about how I need D/E to be functional and not abusive in order to be true to its own narrative...

I can't believe it either. Or, rather, what I can't believe is that it actually makes sense. What is happening.

[upupa_epops]

But Stefan and Damon are free to feel whatever the fuck they want; this is in no way Elena's problem. She's a decent person because she's polite, forthright, and honest about everything, but it's still not her problem.

WORD. This thing's been bothering me for a while, and only now I figured out how to voice it. I'm glad you agree :).

I can't believe it either. Or, rather, what I can't believe is that it actually makes sense. What is happening.

WEIRD SHIT. That's what.

[bellonablack]

So you just don't want a declaration? I can get that because it doesn't feel right for a real choice. Of choosiness. But I do feel a vibe of more than friendship from her. I cant explain that but I can't quite see it as friendship even though I want it to be more so.

[ever_neutral]

*intrudes*

But I do feel a vibe of more than friendship from her.

Haha, you mean towards Damon? Well, it's more or less canon that Elena has romantic feelings to a degree, isn't it?

I think I agree with your feeling that it's not just friendship anymore. Mainly because I think the aforementioned romantic feelings are actually messing up their friendship. /o\ For whatever reason, I think Elena believes that she can no longer just have Damon as a friend? Sadness.

[upupa_epops]

For whatever reason, I think Elena believes that she can no longer just have Damon as a friend?

I haven't thought about that :(. But you're probably right. Which is terrible, because she totally can have Damon's friendship. Damon wouldn't object. He's waited 145 years to get Katherine from the tomb, so giving Elena time to deal with grief really isn't much of a sacrifice.

[bellonablack]

Pretty much word. I think it is a really complicated friendship versus more that is in their way, whatever way that is. I mean, it is sad. :/

[eowyn_315]

TWO EXCELLENT QUESTIONS

[upupa_epops]

I feel like this is suddenly an issue because Elena's started acting on her feelings - making out with Damon, turning to Stefan for protection/comfort - so she is initiating some kind of intimacy with them, but then pulling back before she gets to the point of commitment.

True. But things have changed since that. Alaric is dead, and it hit Elena so hard that now she's repainting a room in the middle of the night. Like she didn't have enough trauma to deal with. And that's why I'm so angry? Because they don't only force her to choose, they also force her to put aside her grieving because THOSE GUYS ARE WAITING. Ugh.

All the other characters need to mind their own fucking business.

AMEN. Although Jeremy Cleaver Gilbert can tell Stefan to fuck off all the time, I'm cool with that.

[kwritten]

Jeremy Cleaver Gilbert can tell Stefan to fuck off all the time, I'm cool with that.

TRUTHINESS IS TRUTH

[petitebelette]

Let's get it straight: the narrative doesn't blame Elena for wanting to have a romantic relationship with both of the brothers. It blames Elena for NOT wanting to have any romantic relationship at the moment! Elena is traumatized and depressed, she can't deal with loss, she really has bigger problems than her nonexistent sex life. But no. She's not allowed to keep their friendship and their support in the time of crisis, because they both happen to be in love with her, and the show somehow decided it was her problem.

/facepalm. Oh my god, THANK YOU. Because this has been exactly what's bothering me and I haven't gotten to the point where I just found the right words and shouted it from the rooftops. Or maybe I've been thinking the next episode will fix this idea somehow. Maybe.

This is infuriating and gross and it bothers me on so many levels that this is how the show is treating Elena. My girl, ok. My freaking girl who they have always handled with respect (or at least she'd handle herself with respect and just due; even trying to

[upupa_epops]

This is infuriating and gross and it bothers me on so many levels that this is how the show is treating Elena. My girl, ok. My freaking girl who they have always handled with respect (or at least she'd handle herself with respect and just due; even trying to "fix" Stefan, she stabbed him in the gut for being a dick, kay) regarding her feelings for her boys.

*clutches you*

EXACTLY. Besides, it's a teen show, for God's sake. Which means that it has big impact on the audience, at least in theory. So, just, no. Teenage girls don't need to get a message that some guy having a crush on them is their problem. No.

DAMON AND ELENA AREN'T ABOUT CHOICE. THEY NEVER HAVE BEEN. They are the anti-choice. They aren't about labels. I'd rather they spend ten years and forever not defining themselves or choosing each other (because they would) than ANY BIG ROMANTIC GESTURE OF ANY SORT. GET OUT, CINDERELLA STORY.This is Damon/Elena for you. Then can spend years practically being together, but never saying it out loud. This week they cook chilli, next

[ever_neutral]

Amen to this post. It is a post of truth and you should feel badass.

It's THEM who decided to fall in love with her.

LOL… not really. The Salvatores are the worst, but I won't blame for that. It's not like they can help it. Still, it's them who decided to PURSUE her, which is what I assume you really mean.

Let's get it straight: the narrative doesn't blame Elena for wanting to have a romantic relationship with both of the brothers. It blames Elena for NOT wanting to have any romantic relationship at the moment!

SERIOUSLY. It's playing straight into the notion that women MUST HAVE a significant man in their life. I thought the show was better than this.

The more I think about it, the more I come to a conclusion that Elena choosing Damon in the finale would be the worst thing that could happen to this ship.

LOL! We are the most cheerful shippers in the world.

Damon understands her abandonment issues, he's very reluctant to promise Stefan he would leave town if Elena chooses Stefan, and he certainly doesn't expect her

[ever_neutral]

Also, bellonablack's comment above has got me thinking. I agree with the bulk of what you're saying about D/E, but I think the one thing it's missing is the matter of Elena's romantic feelings for Damon. Because… she has them. I don't think that's disputable at this stage. And it's fucking everything up. It's really difficult to articulate, but I'm not sure that it'd be as simple as what you describe here --

So right now Elena can sleep with Damon just to relieve the tension. She can tell him to get lost with his inappropriate feelings, because she only wants his friendship. She can not say a word and just ignore the whole “choice” issue and let things develop naturally.

-- Obviously I'm down with this scenario, but… I don't know that it's practically doable. Because Elena RETURNING Damon's feelings complicates everything. No matter how much turmoil it causes her, the fact is that she does not simply want his friendship. She wants more than she wants to want. She wants him to always choose her. She wants him to do whatever she asks because of

[eowyn_315]

The upshot is, Elena is partly right to think she can't just have Damon as a friend anymore - not because he expects her to choose him, but because of her own expectations of HIM. She can't just flip a switch and make herself stop wanting those things from him.

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS. Of course, the way the "choice" is set up, it COMPLETELY IGNORES that part of it.

The real choice isn't "Stefan or Damon?" - it's "Do I want to be friends with Damon or bone him, because I can't have both?" And simultaneously, it's "Do I want to forgive Stefan and get back together or do I want to actually acknowledge the shit he did and move on?" Both of which, incidentally, are much more interesting questions than WHO WILL SHE CHOOOOOOOOSE?

[badboy_fangirl]

Amen to that. If only they'd let it be as complex as it is!