Damon Top Ten Drama Queen Moments

[upupa_epops]

goldy-dollar put me up to this. I regret nothing.

WARNING: This post contains spoilers and Damon's facial expressions.

Comments

[dante_kent]

Hello! I'm basically trolling the internet trying to deal with the void in my life that this TVD hiatus has caused, and I've seen you around, so I came over here to check things out. And found this. THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

Damon/Fireplace = MY OTP FOREVER AND EVER. Do you think Stefan hides all the really expensive crystal stuff, just in case?

Judgy Stefan in the greatest. I have nothing left to say.

Neatfreak!Damon has stolen my heart. I have developed an extensive headcanon in which he folds laundry, polishes the silver, and waters all the plants. He is a domestic at heart. How else do you explain that soap dish?

This list is gold. And valid. Let's just say that if at some point Damon actually stomps his foot in a hissy fit, well, I will not be surprised.

[upupa_epops]

Hello, nice to see you here :). Trolling is a valid lifestyle choice; I can't stop trolling since Friday. Feel free to troll some more, I'm a TVD spammer ;).

Do you think Stefan hides all the really expensive crystal stuff, just in case?

I think it's Damon who does it when he is having Reasonable Moments XD. Come on, have you ever seen Stefan doing household stuff?

I have developed an extensive headcanon in which he folds laundry, polishes the silver, and waters all the plants.

He totally does. Come on, he is a vampire, he doesn't work, he doesn't go to school, he doesn't troll the internet (or does he?), and eating people only takes that much time. He has to do SOMETHING!

This list was a great fun to make :D. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[dante_kent]

I cannot stop the trolling. I've given up on imposing any sort of self-control. I'm glad I'm welcome!

I think it's Damon who does it when he is having Reasonable Moments XD.

Valid point. He probably locks them up and hides the key somewhere, just to deter Drama!Damon from smashing the valuables. Depending on his dedication, he sometimes sticks the key in the vervain.

He has to do SOMETHING!

Fact. Damon does not handle boredom well. And hey, that house is big. What else does he do all day? Though I'm pretty sure he does troll the internet. He probably Bings things all the time.

[upupa_epops]

What is self-control?

Depending on his dedication, he sometimes sticks the key in the vervain.

LOL, yes! Or he gave Alaric the key just in case! Though it probably would be enough if Damon just hid the key (or the crystals!) in a place that is far from the fireplace. If you have to grab the glass, and then go downstairs and across, like, five rooms in order to properly throw the damned tumbler into the fireplace, it just ruins the ENTIRE dramatic effect.

He probably Bings things all the time.

Don't they all? XD

Damon should have a livejournal. He would be doing memes all the time.

[dante_kent]

What is self-control?

I don't know, it's some thing I heard about on the internet. It's probably not real.

This is fast becoming a fic that needs to happen. I can see Damon reaching for the nice crystal, realizing it ISN'T THERE, and then stomping around the house to get to his hiding place. And once he gets the key, he feels all dejected, because the moment is gone, and he has to wait for the next existential crisis to shatter the nice crystal. So he goes to Stefan's room and knocks all the books off the shelf, just for good measure.

DAMON WOULD HAVE THE BEST LJ. I feel like he would be obsessed with making icons. And he'd gifspam EVERYONE. It would be glorious. I'd friend him.

[upupa_epops]

This self-control thing sounds a lot like "moral standards". Or, God forbid "having dignity".

This is fast becoming a fic that needs to happen. I can see Damon reaching for the nice crystal, realizing it ISN'T THERE, and then stomping around the house to get to his hiding place. And once he gets the key, he feels all dejected, because the moment is gone, and he has to wait for the next existential crisis to shatter the nice crystal. So he goes to Stefan's room and knocks all the books off the shelf, just for good measure.

I NEED THIS TO HAPPEN IN THE SHOW! Or in a fic. Preferably both.

DAMON WOULD HAVE THE BEST LJ. I feel like he would be obsessed with making icons. And he'd gifspam EVERYONE. It would be glorious. I'd friend him.

LOOOOL. Now it makes so much sense that he looks down on Stefan. Damon's journal is better. It has gifs! And, judging from the way Damon was reading Twilight, he would just be one merry troll. With gifspam.

Damon's lj. Now, this is another fic that HAS TO happen.

[dante_kent]

This self-control thing sounds a lot like "moral standards". Or, God forbid "having dignity".

Also terms I've heard thrown about. I should probably urban dictionary them.

Now it makes so much sense that he looks down on Stefan. Damon's journal is better.

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. Damon is fiercely proud of his LJ, but Stefan has just as many flisters. And it makes Damon RAGE, because Stefan's journal is the worst. It doesn't even have a design. It's just default. Default. Damon has an entire section of his own LJ dedicated to Stefan Fails. Obviously, many are gifs. Take that, Stefan. You don't even know how to make icons.

THESE FICS MUST HAPPEN. The world will be better for it.

[upupa_epops]

THERE SHOULD AT LEAST BE A SPECULATION POST. Which I'll try to write the first thing in the morning, because it's almost 3AM right now, and speaking English starts getting difficult XD.

Stefan posts about books he's read and movies he's seen, but NO FLAIL EVER HAPPENS on his journal (or at least all the flail is flocked, because Damon is a troll). And he has tags. Damon also has tags. His tags are... different from Stefan's tags.

Luckily I have no photoshop skills, otherwise I would've created this journal half an hour ago, and now I'd be in the middle of making Damon's first icon post...

[dante_kent]

SPECULATION POST SOUNDS GLORIOUS. I hope you're sleeping right now, though, because I've spent the last two nights NOT sleeping due to TVD and I am in a very confused place right now. Sleep is good.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF LJ WITHOUT FLAIL? Damon agrees. Stefan, meanwhile, views his LJ as a nice way of making friends who don't ever notice he doesn't age. They all discuss literature and music and art, and every so often, Stefan writes poetry and posts it. Damon then takes said poetry and creates mocking gifs which he then posts EVERYWHERE (when the poetry isn't flocked. A similar incident is, in fact, how Stefan learned to be proactive with his flocking.).

I WISH I HAD PHOTOSHOP SKILLS SO I COULD TEACH YOU. These journals are things that should exist. But I don't have the skills to pull off Damon levels of internet excellence. Boy has had a lot of practice. And he would not take kindly to a copycat journal that wasn't up to his standards. We're playing a dangerous game here.

[upupa_epops]

And of course I overslept, so the post will appear when I finish things like being a responsible adult. I don't get it. Why do I need to be a responsible adult?

I bet Stefan flails secretly. Otherwise, why would he have a journal?

[dante_kent]

See, this is why we will never reach Damon's LJ standards. Being a responsible adult seriously gets in the way of creating glorious LJs. NOT FAIR, I TELL YOU.

Poor Stefan, flailing secretly. He just needs to accept all parts of himself! Drinking human blood, flailing on LJ...he's just so repressed.

[upupa_epops]

I hate being an adult. It's overrated. 15 more minutes of class, and then I can start doing important stuff (like writing a fic and the speculation post).

Stefan needs to embrace his inner fangirl.

[dante_kent]

I love that you're on LJ during class. We have our priorities straight. I REGRET NOTHING.

I think that was Klaus's master plan. He just wanted Stefan the fangirl back. Ripper!Stefan was a cover. If he'd just explained that to Damon, Team Mystic Falls probably would have given up the effort to kill him. We're all on the same side here!

[upupa_epops]

C'mon, it was a lecture and it bored me to tears. I usually skip it, and today reminded me that there is a REASON why I do it.

Ripper!Stefan was just a step on a way of getting the fangirl back. Because it's easier to convince Stefan to eat people than to talk him into doing a Buffy Flail Post.

[dante_kent]

Ah, lecture classes. I miss college like whoa, but I don't miss those. At all.

It's a 12 Step program. Step 1: Ripper-ify Stefan. Step 12: FULL LJ FLAILING WITH GIFSPAMS AND ANIMATED ICONS AND MEMES AND EVERYTHING. Team Klaus, man. He knows how to get things done.

[upupa_epops]

Lecture classes - I can handle. Teacher's training - KILL ME NOW!

OMG, if you put it like this, I'm Team Klaus!