Farmer Wants a Wife: Day Five
Well, here we are. Only two more days left in this honky tonk reality show, and with three girls remaining. Last time, the girls gardened, study those cleaning skills, and shook it up a bit with a fancy dinner on the town. Unfortunatley, Elizabeth just couldn't get the Farmer to fall for her, and she was sent home. We now go to see who will be the final two...
I feel this photo describes these girls perfectly, don't you agree?
David has seemed to be shaken by his last cooking experience, and today decides to make another family recipe- normal pancakes.
Nadia: "Hmm, it looks like it's gonna rain. Maybe we don't have to garden today?"
Fat chance. The orchard needs harvesting!
Claudia: "How about I tell you another of my famous jokes instead of tending the orchard?"
You can't escape it, Claudia.
That's better.
Even David knows the importance of pitching in, right David?
David: "Yep! I love me some gray apples, that's for sure."
After that's done, the girl's next challenge is to prove their logic. These ladies are to practice their chess gamin' for the next few hours and see how smaht they can get.
Nadia: "Pssh, this will be easy! I was president of my high school chess club, you know."
Nadia: "Uhh, playing against myself is hard."
Sheri takes to this challenge very seriously. Look at that concentration.
Sheri: "Well, I wasn't in any chess club, I was too busy with organizing our Glee Club."
Claudia also takes to this challenge, but is a little slow in some respects...
You know, you could totally get him by moving the other guy's Pawn to E6....
Claudia: "No. You know what? I'm done. I don't need any disembodied narrator telling me how to play chess."
Well, at the end of that stint, we have Nadia learning 5 logic skill points (I guess the chess club really did help her out), Sheri with 4, and Claudia with 3.
The girls gather for lunch after that exhausting chess tournie.
Nadia: "You know David, I'd be an excellent wife, because I can tell that my eggs are REALLY fertile. It's true."
After lunch, David announces that since tonight is a special night, they're all going to go out dancing.
Claudia, obviously, is thrilled.
After gussing up, everyone arrives to the club in style, although David did wear that suit last night...
David: "Hey! This is the only suit I own other than my wedding tux!"
You have your wedding tux already?
David: "I...umm.... well, I am supposed to be getting a wife here pretty soon, aren't I?"
Touché.
Aww look, Sheri's admiration of David made them biffles.
Claudia: "Oooo, lamppost!"
The group makes their way to the dancefloor, which of course begins the high-school-esque awkward standing around until some brave soul starts dancing.
Claudia: "I'm gonna need a drink for this."
Looks like that brave soul is Claudia.
Drink too many, dear?
Nadia: "Haahaa! You dance like a drunken person!"
Claudia: "I am a drunken person, 'ho."
Umm, Nadia? Really? Your taste in men scares me a little.
Claudia: "Woah! Me too."
While the others are distracted, Sheri grabs the moment to sneak a dance in with David. It doesn't last too long.
David is totally immersed in the moment.
Claudia: "You? Wanna dance with me? Alright!"
This doesn't last too long either....
....As Claudia gets inspired to spin the records herself.
Claudia: "Wooo! Get your boogie on!"
Nadia slowly starts building up the courage to dance herself, and starts scooting herself over to David.
Nadia: "Let's make this quick. I don't want to embarrass myself."
Right, talk about throwing your inhibitions out the window.
Gasp! What are they doing?!
OH MY GAWD.
fyi: I did not tell them to do this. I take my eye off them one second....
And they're biffles, ladies and gentlemen. And it looks like Nadia's finally crushing on him too. Took long enough.
Of course, the other girls won't take that blow lying down.....
Sheri! What are you doing? Be an antisocial drunk later! The Farmer is being had by someone else!
Sheri: "Whaa? Ohh.. *hic*... OK, I'll go *hic* show 'em"
Oh dear.
Sheri: "Heyy you *hic* Farmer, wanna be with a, a woman that's woman *hic* enough forr, umm, you?"
David: "Oh! I am so swooned!"
Nadia: "This is repulsive."
Sheri: "You look like you want to be *hic* tickled.... goochie goochie goo!"
David: "Teehee! How did you know?"
Nadia: *fumes vehemenently*
Sheri: "Come here, big boy."
Well, she would never have the gall do to that sober, now would she?
Claudia finally gets the hint that her position with the Farmer is in jeopordy, so she takes a swing at the whole charming thing.
David's convinced.
Sheri: "The trick to being irresistable.... Nadia... is to be *hic* completely and *hic* utterly..... drunk."
Nadia: "Ahh! I totally get it. Too bad I don't drink."
David: "Seriously! I don't want to send any of them home! Can't I just keep all of them?"
Unfortunately David, your farm country is not Mormon country, so no.
The group heads back home, and now we consult our Superbly-Awesome-Tallier-That-Simply-Keeps-Score-Counter to see who will be going home RIGHT NOW!
Day Five: rel. score+5/logic+10/crush+20/bf+10/lb
Sheri: 100+20+10+20+20 = 170
Nadia: 100 + 25 + 10 + 20 + 10 = 165
Claudia: 100 + 15 + 10 + 0 + 20 = 145
Ohhh, a 20 point difference for Claudia! This girl's funny and rambunctious ways just did not please the Farmer, and now she must go home.
David: "No hard feelings?"
Claudia: "Does my smile ever lie?"
Any final thoughts?
Claudia: "I'm kinda bummed a got beat out, especially by a drunk Sheri and that neat freak Nadia. If I wasn't so into dancing tonight I probably wouldn't be leaving..... Oh well! I can't stay mad! I don't think I even have the faculties too."
Claudia: "Hmmm, I wonder what it's like to be mad..."
Since I didn't get a carriage shot, you will have to do with David merrily waving goodbye to Claudia.
Oh man, down to the final two! Only one more day of the competition left, and it is getting fierce!
Will it be perfectionist and willing to please Nadia?
Or the sweet (and apparently has a hidden wild side) Sheri, who apparently has David on the brain?
We'll just have to wait and see.
Thanks for reading!