Beginnings - SPEED MASTER (3/15)

[unwritten_ideas]

Title - Beginnings - SPEED MASTER (3/15)
Author - unwritten_ideas
Beta - write_my_dreams
Rating - eventual NC-17, this part PG-13Word Count - 5,951 (69,000ish total

Comments

[shyone05]

I love how you capture the depth of their relationship, even though at least one of them doesn't want to admit that there could be something more than simple friendship between them. Good job.

[unwritten_ideas]

Thank you. It's not easy to show how deep a relationship is when you start in the middle of it so I'm glad that's coming across. We'll see if/how it gets deeper in later chapters...

[mind_cell]

The longer the better!
I have finally understood what makes your writing style so unusual for me. Most fanfiction authors prefer to write from "inside" a character's head. They may switch POVs but they still remain subjective. Your narrator always remains slightly "outside", a more objective one, as if he is hovering just above the characters' heads, being able to both read the thoughts and describe the situation as an outsider would see it.
I am fond of text linguistics and narratology, so i can't help analysing texts from this perspective, too :)
And thank you for no romantic elevator scenes and no Gaku fainting half-way to his room and You carrying him and tucking him under the sheets XP
You're pretty right about the effects of a rapidly rising fever. My son who's 4 years old once suffered these. I was really scared by how violently he was shaking. It began before the actual fever and lasted for about 40 min until we managed to bring it down...
I vote Wednesday (especially considering that Japan's having a bout of public holidays

[unwritten_ideas]

I like to explain what is happening, but still leave a little bit hidden. It's why I never write first person either, I like to read stories where it isn't all spelled out so that's how I write. I think you can still explain situations and feelings while remaining a little distanced from the characters.

Gackt may be so tired and weak he can barely stand, but he's not going to be put to bed like a little child. He battles through things because his pride won't let him do anything less.

I had a very interesting day last year where I attended a school sports day conducted in 40 degree heat and made the mistake of watching it all from the first aid tent. I saw literally dozens of kids collapsing due to heat and exhaustion. It made me feel better about seeing Gackt's collapses though because from what little we've seen of them, they're exactly the same as what was happening to these kids. He really doesn't drink enough water on stage, IMO.

Probably will be tomorrow, I think.

[mind_cell]

Hm, it's an interesting thing about him not drinking enough water. Frankly, when i only started listening to him - and watching his concerts - i couldn't help doubting that those faints were... well, half-staged. I have seen lots of musicians during lots of concerts, and have followed quite many of them, too, but Gackt is the first one who does it so frequently. I was also at a loss because he looks so healthy and physically fit. But you're so right, he's virtually dripping with sweat during his concerts. If you watch him playing Last Song during 6D7N, sweat is running down his face and dripping down his nose - and he's only sitting and singing. I am not even talking about what rivulets ran down his body during Munich concert.... So i am thinking now that maybe this extremely quick loss of water has something to do with his general health. IDK, maybe blood pressure, or it's indeed a symptom of his physical fragility that is simply well-hidden by a well-trained body...

[unwritten_ideas]

I've been to a lot of Gackt concerts (current tally is 13 over three different tours) and I still can't decide how legit they are. I think it's a mix, to be honest. I was at the concert that the RRII DVD was shot at and I also attended the day before. Both nights, (like pretty much every other night on the tour) he collapsed at the end of MIRROR. I have no doubts whatsoever that his collapse on the first night was genuine. You could physically see how bad he was during the song and when he came back out 15 minutes later for his MC, he was stumbling over his feet and nearly fell down the stairs (IIRC, the night before he'd been the MC for the opening of the life size Gundam in Tokyo and had even less sleep than usual). But, on the night the DVD was shot? He was so much better. He screams so much during that song though. If you're sitting still and try to match him, note for note, scream for scream, you'll be out of breath. He's also running around stage and has been for two hours at that point. I wouldn't be surprised if it'

[nihon_hamano]

Seconding pretty much everything everyone else have said above. I love the way I really feel their bond so strong, job well done with this chapter.