On leaving

[untrique]

For the past several months I have been embroiled in a near-constant conversation with myself. At some times it is more quiet than others, intermittent whispering rather than the cacophony I awoke to this morning. The conversation can be stripped down to this:

Am I leaving?
Yes I'm leaving.
Why am I leaving?
Because it's time.

Comments

[fattest]

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

Where are you going?

[untrique]

Hey, thanks for commenting, I like your icon! I'm moving to Portland, OR, where I hope I'll run into you from time to time ...

[fattest]

Ah! Yes, with so many of my people moving there, no doubt I will visit sometime soon!

Best wishes to you in your move!

[lovelikeyeast]

Even knowing nothing about it yet: your new home will be so fitting. You'll make such a good home for yourself here. Moving, inherently unsettling and hard! I'm kind of glad you have so little time, and if it's not as quick as ripping off a bandaid, at least it is less extended limbo as you could have gone for. Of course it will get better after you settle in, your voices will calm down, all will be so good once you get over this hard, hard part.

I'll be missing you in passing (leaving on the 30th), but am so excited to see you settling in here after I'm back on the 13th. Take good care, everything will be so much better soon, and if I could send a salve to make this horrible time better, I would. xo

[untrique]

Thank you for these good words and reassuring reminders. I know you know the horribleness -- and also the settling into well being that comes after it. I am looking forward to discovering all the ways my new place and city fit. Also, we can hang out at Safeway together anytime you like ...

[yangming]

Hello Mr. O. I liked that book you gave me...I already finished it. I like it when you get on roll with writing.

[justin42]

Just catching up on reading your posts and I see that you're moving. I'm sorry we never made time to hang out on purpose in a non-chaotic, quiet setting like we'd planned. But I am grateful for the glimpses I got into who you are and what you think about. I love your writing - I always think, "He really should write a book... get his words out to more people... they are precious." Truly, if this is how you write some thoughts in an LJ post, I can only imagine the boundless beauty that could come from more of your writing. I hope you continue to write and share your words with others. I hope I can continue to see glimpses of you here on LJ. I wish you all the best in your move and hope you make for yourself the exact home you want and need. Something not lonely, not chaotic. Something beautiful and warm and welcoming like the sunrise that got you out of bed. Safe journey, my friend.

[untrique]

Thank you, J. It's good to read your voice so clearly here - I'm sorry we didn't make intentional hang out time too. It seems we both had a year of turning inward, moving closer (to the ones who were already close), and letting the rest be on the sidelines for a while. Those years are good to have, though sometimes more in retrospect than when they're happening. I'm glad you're here and that I get to read your words and share in your journey. Your writing is always remarkable and deeply rewarding. I hope you have a wonderful year in 2008 - and congratulations on your engagement!