i don't know why it's raining when the snow should be the precipitation of choice. i'm leaving here two weeks from tomorrow. i wish i was never coming back, but alas...the show must go on. i've actually been doing better than before. for a while there, i seriously thought i was going crazy, a meltdown of sorts. but i'm glad that i've risen from the ( Read more... )

empty
space.

this break was a short. way too short. so short that appointments couldn't be rescheduled. i've started to realize that things have are out of my reach. and i guess they have been for a while, i just refused to admit it. i had some strange circumstances with people. especially the girlfriends. it's good to know that madeleine and kathryn are more ( Read more... )

i can almost feel his hands on me...so close. so this is my plan: to go completely insane for the next two days (mad studying, non-stop...), pack, make sure i forget nothing, and get the hell out of here. i'm attempting to finish my black coffee right now so i can start the crazy sessions of intense psychology studying. i can do this. i can make it ( Read more... )

it's getting to be that time. the time when my brain is a balloon, dangling it's string in my face...disconnected. i'm not fed up anymore, past that. i'm indifferent with school, the weather, life...but i'm fucking ready to change the scenery. monotony kills. i feel like those poor neutral noun in german. not that i'm confused about my sexuality, ( Read more... )

i can't study anymore...i just fucking can't. hopefully my lady gray will be fuel for the flashcards i have yet to learn. why can't i just get my shit together and do this? i know i'm better than this. fuck. what is wrong with me? i could give you a hint...i haven't talked to matt for a couple of days. he's not available to tell me to calm the fuck ( Read more... )

no day but today...rent was the fucking shit. it wasn't loud enough though. and it will never be the real show. but hot damn. it made me wanna be a cold, starving junkie that strips and plays in the snow. man, i miss the 90s. madeleine, if you want i'll still see it with you. i'd love to see it again. and again. i wish it was out on dvd already. ( Read more... )

this weekend (friday) was intense. drinking a pitcher of beer and then off to an after hours place. left at 9:30am. i'm still in the process of recovering. it was fun, but i dunno if i'll do it again or ever. we shall see what the future holds. at least i can say that i went out and experienced the real night life of montreal. go me. it definitely ( Read more... )

i'm at the breaking point of the semester. i can't let it go to my head. i'm also pmsing so that doesn't help either. usually i'm so busy that i don't really have time to contemplate the banality of existing. but the past few days have been free of stimulation for my brain, so i've just let it wander...big mistake. i have tried to be productive ( Read more... )