Dale Thayer's Mustache
Before the Rays went down to Miami for their weekend series with the Marlins, they called up a pitcher named Dale Thayer. He's a fairly unremarkable pitcher on the surface, but he does have one thing going for him... a fucking incredible mustache. And since he pitched the last four innings of a 15-2 thrashing, we got to see a lot of it.
It's nice and thick, and it goes a good inch or two past the edges of his lips on both sides of his face. Then add the curly hair underneath the helmet and that "I missed a spot" patch above his chin, and he looks like he should have been a stunt double on Magnum P.I.
Early blog reports are very positive.
DRaysBay: "The score presented the opportunity for Thayer to get some work in, and holy heavens did he ever. When the camera flashed to Thayer, the first and only thing anyone noticed was the miraculous mustache, one with roots all the way to Mecca and back. This my friends, should be on scouting reports. It goes; hand, age, hand, gratuitous facial hair (if so, what type), pitches, and so on. Thayer looks like Chet Steadman. This is a very, very good thing...
"There's a distinct possibility that Thayer is here for the weekend and then gone again. That's too bad. 'Staches like that come around once, maybe twice a decade. Thayer could be our Sal Fasano/Matt Stairs type, and frankly that's something that should not be easily discarded. This is a guy with a WAR (Whiskers Above Replacement) of like 5, he's ridiculous. I can only hope he gets some more burn as the season progresses."
Rays Index: "Sure it was a great game all-around, but by far the best moment of the night was getting a look at the piece of fuzzy art on Thayer's face. The 'stache along with a bit of a gut and his mullet starter kit and we think we are on the verge of a real-life Kenny Powers."
My own opinion is that there has to be some kind of gene that only lets people with "Dale" somewhere in their name grow mustaches like this. Like Dale Earnhardt. He had a badass mustache. And all these people who get arrested in White Settlement or out in Wise County somewhere. They get the write-up explaining what they did (usually manufacturing drugs or some kind of domestic disturbance) and they get their pictures in the paper. Their middle names are all Dale and they all have bushy mustaches.
Oh, and don't think the rest of the team hasn't noticed that thing. I would bet a lot of money that Gabe Kapler was involved in this somehow:
It's nice and thick, and it goes a good inch or two past the edges of his lips on both sides of his face. Then add the curly hair underneath the helmet and that "I missed a spot" patch above his chin, and he looks like he should have been a stunt double on Magnum P.I.
Early blog reports are very positive.
DRaysBay: "The score presented the opportunity for Thayer to get some work in, and holy heavens did he ever. When the camera flashed to Thayer, the first and only thing anyone noticed was the miraculous mustache, one with roots all the way to Mecca and back. This my friends, should be on scouting reports. It goes; hand, age, hand, gratuitous facial hair (if so, what type), pitches, and so on. Thayer looks like Chet Steadman. This is a very, very good thing...
"There's a distinct possibility that Thayer is here for the weekend and then gone again. That's too bad. 'Staches like that come around once, maybe twice a decade. Thayer could be our Sal Fasano/Matt Stairs type, and frankly that's something that should not be easily discarded. This is a guy with a WAR (Whiskers Above Replacement) of like 5, he's ridiculous. I can only hope he gets some more burn as the season progresses."
Rays Index: "Sure it was a great game all-around, but by far the best moment of the night was getting a look at the piece of fuzzy art on Thayer's face. The 'stache along with a bit of a gut and his mullet starter kit and we think we are on the verge of a real-life Kenny Powers."
My own opinion is that there has to be some kind of gene that only lets people with "Dale" somewhere in their name grow mustaches like this. Like Dale Earnhardt. He had a badass mustache. And all these people who get arrested in White Settlement or out in Wise County somewhere. They get the write-up explaining what they did (usually manufacturing drugs or some kind of domestic disturbance) and they get their pictures in the paper. Their middle names are all Dale and they all have bushy mustaches.
Oh, and don't think the rest of the team hasn't noticed that thing. I would bet a lot of money that Gabe Kapler was involved in this somehow: